Incline Revisiting Old Games (Again)

[Hag]

Hexen 2 - PC
...
The constant cycle of mana depletion & replenishing can get annoying mind, esp with particular characters. I'm old school, I'm from an era where shooters like Smash TV & Gauntlet allowed you to blast away. Now I'm not against ammo limits, I think it often adds a much needed dynamic and in this case it is understandable, but I do think the balance is off here with the none-fighters. After every fight or two you're on the hunt for mana again, and it just gets repetitive tbh. The Necromancer in particular burns through his green Mana stash quickly, and so is often forced into melee combat a bit too much for my liking too. Nothing game breaking, but every so often I used the IMPULSE 10 cheat to top my mana up, and keep it more fun. Mainly when playing as said Necromancer. Oh and make sure if you play it that you play with the mouse-look enabled.

I only played Hexen on normal difficulty with the Necromancer, but I found the mana amount to be very finely tuned. By middle game, melee is the best option against weakest enemies, turning spiders and the like to HP bags. For the others opponents, using items is a game changers. I was not used to such useful items (compared to Duke Nukem 3D for example where they are mostly bonuses), they are abundant and through frequent use of glyphs of the ancients, seals of ovimancer and the surprisingly frequent tomes of power you can deal with a good portions of encounters. Not to mention the kraters of might that I hoarded for bosses but that are common enough to fill you back up mid-world. And the discs of repulsion that deal with half of the encounters in the Maya world.

Agree with your review. The flaws of the game are easily offset by the awesome level design. When you fight evil sorcerers, you may then find their office and sometimes bedroom, so many well-thought details.

 

[Falksi]

Elemental Master - Megadrive

If you talk about influential game companies I don't think many would include Technosoft in that bracket, but I would. They didn't release a massive amount of games, and those which they did make weren't Mario or Sonic levels of popular at the time either. Yes they definitely established themselves during their peak on the Megadrive, but they didn't stick around for too long after as well. But they very much remind me of a band like the Pixies or Therapy? though, in that if you were around at the time to ride their wave of games, their unique style & their sound especially really blew you away. Elemental Master came towards the end of their time with the Megadrive, and despite being a big fan of some of their earlier games (Thunderforce 3 & Devil Crash especially), I never purchased this. One of those weird things really, as by rights I should have.

Playing the game now, and it's definitely got that feel of "we'll do our best to make a good game, but we're getting a bit bored of developing for this system". Everything it does is decent-to-good, but there's a definite dip in quality with some of the areas from the previous games they made. In particular with the music. It's still a really good soundtrack, but these chaps made some utter belters and some of the best on the system in their earlier games. Whilst EM's still do an admirable job, they don't take things to that other level like Technosoft's earlier entries do, which is disappointing.

Like everything else, gameplay itself is generally quite good, just a bit lacking, and everything feels a little bit by the numbers. Typical Technosoft tropes show their face, such as stage selection & an emphasis on having to shoot in various directions to make it through the game. The action overall is fairly solid, and the level design interesting enough without being anything spectacular. But this game's big draw is simply in it's concept & what's in the package - dark fantasy, shooter action, Technosoft presentation & music, manga style cut-scenes, etc. It ticks nearly every box of what I'd love to see in such a game, and it's outer shell give you that to some degree.

But at it's core it just doesn't execute them all that well either sadly, and the package as a whole just isn't that much fun. There's plenty of niggly things to annoy, but by far and away my biggest gripe with the game, is that it doesn't make it clear enough when you've been hit. Apart from a little yellow flash, there's no real "feel" of getting hit, and it's not uncommon for it to bypass you all together. That stacks with two other major gripes too - namely the fact that it can be tricky to see some enemies sometimes, and that when you do take a hit you're vulnerable to another one almost straight away (unlike other games where you get a second or two to refocus). When all that combines, you can easily look at your energy bar one minute to see it full, to look at it again the next minute and see you've taken several hit, totally unawares of them or where they came from. It feels really skanky, and puts a real crimp in learning the game.

You also only get one life (albeit with an energy bar), and when you continue it's from the start of the stage too. All together this feels unbalanced & off. Throw in the fact that the play area feels quite restrictive, and also that the the bosses aren't particularly challenging either, and the whole thing just starts to feel like a bit of a letdown. The weapons are OK, but nothing spectacular, the enemies I'd describe exactly the same, and whilst there's no doubt that there is some definite fun & quality to be had out of the game, it ultimately leaves you feeling a bit short changed.

This is a game I absolutely want to love. Conceptually it's got everything which I want out of such games. Sadly, it doesn't quite deliver them well enough to cut it as well as it should have. Still enough to be worth playing mind, but personally I'm just a bit gutted.

 

[Falksi]

Road Rash 2 - Megadrive

^Av it ya cunt!

Get your motor running, head out on the highway, looking for adventure, and also looking to kick the fuck out of people riding at high speeds on motorbikes. Born to be wild my friend. I used to own a game for the BBC Micro called "Crazee Rider", and played the hell out of it. So when this arrived on the Megadrive I was straight on the case. I'm not big into bikes as such, more a fan of high speed thrills & violence. I never ranked Road Rash as an all time fave or anything, but I played it often, and it was another game which stayed in my collection for ages, and which always seemed to be lodged in the machine. In fact sifting through some old pics, it's the very game which is in there in one of them.....

Initial impressions on return were, frankly, fucking awful. No bike noises, really rough around the edges & gratey presentation all round, and worst of all the handling on the game seems incredibly bad......at first. 3 or 4 races in and I'm like " how the hell did I used to like this?" But the game still drew me in enough to keep playing, and persistence reaped rewards. See the whole gameplay is just weighted oddly & differently compared to most other racing games, and once you're used to it (which took me around 5 races) then the fun actually starts. Some people may not be able to get past that though, so be warned.

But when it kicks in it's great. What makes the game fun its the incredible mix of speed, violence, chaos and a constant assault of challenges to keep you on your toes. Obstacles come thick & fast, and for the most part add to the fun too. As with a lot of games of this era though, there are definitely the odd skanks, and it's not uncommon for something to come flying out the blue and wipe you out unavoidably, which can be frustrating.

But it's just incredibly satisfying wrapping a heavy metal chain around a coppers face and smashing them off their bike, or getting revenge on someone who kicked your arse earlier in the race. They nail the feel of it all, and combined with the general excitement of speed throughout, and general mayhem all-round such as bunny hopping cows, smashing into cars, and riding over other downed drivers, it it's very easy to get sucked into the "one more race" scenario. Especially as each race gains you money for better bikes, and so even if you finish the race with a low rank you're still progressing overall. In fact the none-playing elements of the game are designed really well, and really help support the games core. Both the stages & the opponent difficulty increase at a very enjoyable & balanced rate, to keep it challenging and fresh, so combine that with a few smatterings of decent humour here & there, and you've a real nifty little package.

It's not a stunning or even quality game at all, it's a really raw package and a bit like watching a punk band. It can also take some getting hang of too, but with all that said it is just a ton of fun and very absorbing and addictive once you're into the swing of it. Like getting a BJ off a fat bird, it's rough around the edges, can be hard to handle, but still gets your rocks off, and is ideal if you like brilliant cheap thrills that leave you buzzing. And I do. Coz I'm a slag.




Road Rash 3 - Megadrive

We all know the score. EA get a game & formula that works, then keeps tweaking it with yearly updates. No difference here.

So this is basically Roach Rash 2, but with digitized graphics, and a few tweaks + additions. Personally I think the graphics look far worse than RR2, are far jerkier, and make identifying objects in the distance a pain in the fucking arse a lot of the time. On the flipside, I think it's got snappier gameplay, which is also a tad more refined too. The bike upgrades add a nice touch, the music is different - so you might prefer or hate depending on preference - and overall it's just a case of taste as to whether you prefer this to RR2.

What stood out to me the most is that, between the extra additions & general tweaks, the whole thing feels a bit better balanced, and combat seems to take place for longer period of times too. Often between several riders at once. I don't know if I just fell lucky, but it seemed to happen more regularly & more chaotically with me in RR3, so I really likesy that.

Personally I'd go with this one, simply because the slight gameplay adjustments gave me a noticeable amount more chaos & combat in the races. But there's really little to choose between them.

 

[Falksi]

Dungeons & Dragons - Tower of Doom - Arcade

Another game to totally bypass me back in t'day, as a massive fantasy fan I needed no persuading to delve into an arcade incarnation of D&D.

D&D:ToD is a curious mid-step between the 80's beat 'em ups of old, and the 90's refined Streets of Rage style ones. You can guard, dash, do a power attack, use various items, and some characters can use magic too. The combat basics themselves are executed nicely and, for the most part, are quite enjoyable. But the additional moves and use of items, whilst commendable, is also implemented quite awkwardly and they can often be tricky to use properly in context of the game itself. It doesn't ruin things as such, it's just frustrating that things don't flow better, and that all too often you find yourself reverting back to old school, button bashing beat-em-up tactics to get by.

That said, it does also feel quite considered for a beat-em-up because of it's pacing, and the enemies not only look different, but are a game highlight for the fact that most offer a bit of a different challenge to each other, rather than just being a pointless palette swap. The bosses are groovy too, with a dragon, manticore & beholder in there amongst others. It's nice to see, and plays into that D&D vibe.

The characters are your standard affair - Fighter, Cleric, Elf & Dwarf - but surprisingly there's no out & out spellcaster, which feels like a miss. I did also find the game better suited to the fighter types, with the Elf's magic really useful late game, but nowhere near as much so early game. Again, great ideas, but just not implemented all that well. And the lack of ranged characters and the fairly tightly packed fighting area, gave me a far less satisfying experience than playing something like King of The Dragons, where hitting & running at a faster pace generates a more exciting experience.

The story is told very well throughout for a game of this ilk, with regular plot dumps and a choice of different stages to progress through. No major addition at all, but I'm always for games like these getting across that feeling of being on an adventure, and this certainly manages that to a good degree. It includes plenty of check-list tropes too, such as a tavern every so often, woods, caverns, castles etc. Even throwing in odd D&D nods, such as the fact that fire kills trolls. It's good stuff.

So it's a ton of good ideas thrown into a cauldron, with the end result being edible and fairly enjoyable, but a bit undercooked in places. It's not got the quick hit & move style of old school fighters nailed, and hasn't fleshed out it's own ideas enough either, but it's by no means bad, and there is still fun to be found for fans of fantasy settings.

 

[ValeVelKal]

Can I propose to put Captain Blood on the list ? It is one of the huge weirdies of the heroic era.

 

[Zerth]

Peter Blood has a game?.

 

[Falksi]

Devil Crash - Megadrive

^Eye popingly demonic graphics greet you throughout

Pinball's not everyone's cup of tea, and I'd class myself in that bracket too. I'll play pinball here & there, both virtually and live, but numbers don't particularly do it for me as much as having a satisfying overall experience does. However, throw in Tecnosoft's tropes, tunes and a horror theme to boot, and suddenly I'm all in. As a teen I lost countless hours monging out on this, the perfect game to play after a few beers and a few wanks. But not only did I enjoy it, I also formed some type of weird Satanic allegiance with it. See I was a someone who believed in odd superstitious bollocks, and somehow I got the mental notion in my head that the higher a score I got on this game, and the more demons I defeated, the better my luck & life would be. Total gumph I know, but weird coincidences kept occurring. Most prominently, I was besotted with a delicious slender, pale temptress who looked like Julia Roberts in pretty woman, and every time I played well on Devil Crash I'd get lucky with her (to a certain degree, never got to fully shag her, so not that lucky I guess). Is this game Satanic? Who knows, but I'd have definitely had it down as an all time fave before returning, so apprehension ensued as I went running with the devil again.

Well that horror vibe and those delicious graphics haven't aged a day. Everything looks devilishly lush, with some of the artwork being absolutely top notch, and dripping with atmosphere. The game's whole essence is wonderful, and draws you in with it's rich dark fantasy horror blend. Dragons, wizards, demons, undead etc. It's far from your average pinball game, with it all playing & moving as smooth as a pair of naked breasts. And of course then you have the Technosoft tunes. No messing about here, they are, yet again, at the top of their game, belting out incredible tracks for both the main table and the bonus stages. Which is a good thing, as you'll be listening to some of them for some time, esp the main table.

Said main table itself consists of 3 sections, each with it's own setup & own set of flippers, and the overall design for all 3 & said setup in general is absolutely on the money. There's just so many ways to score points, so many shots to take, and so many approaches to everything that there's plenty to sink your fangs into. The way the bonus stages work and fit in to break things up is excellent too. Each feels very individual, and their inclusion on the whole gives everything a nice turn of pace when you land one (which is often enough, but not too often either). But with that said, for all that variety & choice, you do also tend to see the same patterns occurring with the ball in certain circumstances more often than you should. No massive deal, but deja vu is more commonplace than it should be.

And, when all said and done.....it is just pinball innit? I mean, it's fucking top draw, as good as you get pinball dripping with delicious darkness. But ultimately it's pinball. I found it hard to muster the amount of love for the game which a once had, not because it was any worse, simply because I pick it apart now more as an adult and can't endure the repetition as much.

But I still enjoyed playing it, and would still class it as my favourite pinball game ever. Fans of the genre should definitely check it out.

 

[Falksi]

The King of Dragons - SNES/Arcade

Dragons. They're fucking everywhere aren't they? I mean fuck me, they're awesome, mighty beasts, but back when this was released they still felt rare & magical. Nowadays every fantasy game & it's mam has more fiery Dragon cocks wafting about than a little. Anyway, this always floated around me & my mates, but never seemed to settled as a favourite. One of the lads owned it, and it did the rounds being borrowed & traded for other games.

Playing it now and it's hard to ignore the fact that the combat is really shallow. You can attack and jump, and with the 3 shielded characters from the 5 available you're able to pull off a defensive block move if you time it right (which practically I found a pain to do, and quite un-intuitive), but that's pretty much it. No dash attacks, no grab attacks, no slides, no special moves etc. It's as basic as they come. However it still remains playable and fairly enjoyable, because the hit & move mechanics and design work well, keeping you on your toes throughout. And whilst the RPG elements are very negligible too, there is value to be had in the difference between the brawler characters & the ranged/magic characters, and finding the right one for your playstyle helps with the enjoyment significantly.

Magic is handled in a pretty flakey way though. You're desperation move calls forth lightening magic, which is steady enough but nothing spectacular and is the same for each character too (unlike say Golden Axe, where there are many varieties of even the same magic). And at various points throughout the game you find icons which you can strike to unleash various other types of magic too. It's not bad, it just feels a bit cheap and unsatisfying. What does satisfy though is facing enemies later in the game which originally took several hits to kill when you first encountered them, and one-shotting after you've levelled up. It adds a nice sense of reward & vengeance. Bosses are a highlight too. Nothing outstandingly spectacular, but they do have enough character to be enjoyable & memorable, with most of them having big imposing sprites.

And that's kind of how things roll throughout the game in general. There's smatterings of goodness, and it's fairly serviceable enough, often enjoyable when things fall right. But some aspects are spread so thin throughout that it's also easy to switch off, and getting your jazz on can prove a bit tricky at times. A game this simple also really doesn't need dragging out over 16 stages, especially when the enemy variety is pretty thin on the ground too. Yes some of those stages of quite short, but still it becomes dull at times.

The Arcade version is beefier & feels more powerful than the SNES versions, but the SNES version allows you to map the block mechanic to a specific button (along with the magic "desperation move"). This does make thing a tad more rhythmic & fun, but even then it seems to fail to activate every now & then (maybe I was doing something wrong?). Both are very similar, but if I was forced to choose a version I'd probably go with the SNES one tbh. Even though it lacks quality, I just found a tad more fun in it.

The packaging & promise offer a lot more than what the actual core of the game delivers, but it does still deliver enough to be fairly fun for a "quickie" now & then. That said it also feels like everything needed fleshing out a lot more, and each aspect is drawn out as much as possible to fill space. Good for a blast, if very shallow, and very disposable.

 

[Hag]

You write good reviews. Making me interested in obscure shit I never heard about, also nice to read.
That's all.
Carry on, or whatever.

 

[Falksi]

Smash TV - SNES/Arcade

^I'd buy that for a dollar!

"Let's Go! *sings tune* Go! Go! Go!" - That's what the missus & the dog hear when I want them to get their arse in gear. Smash TV's pop-culture tie-ins to films, such as Robocop and The Running Man, stuck with me so much over the years that I still regularly quote them. There are only smatterings of them throughout the game, but it sets a wonderful stage for the total carnage which is about to ensue. I mean, the 80's & 90's were mint weren't they? The music & movies absolutely drowned us in rich, timeless quality. And here we have a shooter which draws heavily from said era, and goes balls to the wall as you can get with pure brain-off action. Whilst a lot of the games I'm writing about are ones which I've not played for years before recently, Smash TV is a game I regularly play, so this isn't so much revisiting it, as breaking everything down which I'm already pretty familiar with.

And for the most part, it plays like a wet dream, so simple, yet so effective. The 8-way directional move & fire combo still works great, and the arena battleground really lends itself to that setup too. All combined together you have something which feels nice & fresh compared to your typical shooter, and supported by that underlayer of pop culture you're not only getting something good, you're getting something pretty original & fun all round too.

The game also absolutely nails risk vs reward, luring you out with constant promises of weapons & prizes, but every step is fraught with danger. The amount of times you seem to get backed into a corner, only to work your way out of a seemingly impossible situation is countless, yet never grows old. It does start to get a bit unfair from around halfway through though, where impossible situations seem to start occurring, and taking the hit & using the invincibility seconds in the right way on resurrection becomes an employable tactic. It may sour things for some, but you get enough lives & credits to compensate, and around that point in the game extra lives seem to appear more regularly too (it feels as if the Devs spotted the difficulty spike, and threw in extra lives rather than rebalancing the gameplay). So to me, overall it feels more like a switch up in tactics rather than a skank, but others it may annoy.

Bosses - whilst few - are great, coming drenched in a ton of WWF style character, and having a real imposing presence about them. Each feels like a really powerful opposing force, and are both bizarre yet well fitting in the context of the game. But what does let the game down though is the slight over-reliance on power ups. Your main weapon is often just too weak to do any significant damage (or any damage at all with some bosses), and it can just get a bit boring/annoying having to wait around for weapons to appear so that you can actually go on the offensive again. Especially against the likes of Scarface, who you need to push back with heavy fire in order to survive.

The normal game serves as a great introduction, but may be a bit to slow for some. However Turbo mode (activated after completing the game on normal, or inputting a cheat) is spot on, and really ups the intensity. Both are fun, it's just really a case of which you prefer. I'll play both speeds depending if I'm feeling ploddy, or jacked up.

Also the game's simplicity does come back to bite it in the arse after you've been playing a while. It's cracking fun, and a total blast, but there's not much depth to it either, and some of the rooms feel like they can take an age to clear the further in you get. Repetition does start to drag the experience down on longer plays, and they really could have done with introducing a few new elements here & there as the game went on.

Smash TV is a truly joyous game, which captures the vibe & thrive of that late 80's, early 90's era perfectly, and is an absolute blast to boot. It can be tough, it can get repetitive, but to this day it remains one of the best switch your brain off & destroy games out there, with a simplicity & originality which still make it thoroughly thrivable. But the candle which burns twice as bright burns half as long too, and whilst it'll get you high for a short time, it can wear you down too.

 

[Falksi]

The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past - SNES

Conjuring up images of the Terrahawks main villain from the title, The Legend of Zelda never really appealed to me from an external POV. I like my fantasy dark not cutesy, I liked my action to be destructive and my roleplaying to be tactical & choice based, so I'm not sure how I ever came to actually own this. I probably just went off a Mean Machines or C&VG review, and picked it up on the fly. Either way, it wasn't an event. But after playing it though I definitely enjoyed it, remember it fairly fondly, and have been looking forward to this return.

And what can I say. In fact, where the fuck do you start with a game like this? It's hard to know where exactly where, because there's just so much magical goodness in there. Straight from the opening sequence this game absolutely drips quality from every single pore. It's all been said a million times before, but here I am now so lets crack on with it.

Balance. If ever a game absolutely nailed the layering and balancing of all it's aspects, it's this. We're talking 50 spinning plates lined up on a tightrope, atop of a 150 Meter skyscraper balanced. Each of the games elements from combat, to dialogue, to secrets etc. are all perfectly placed & supremely interwoven. It's fucking ridiculous how natural & absorbing the whole world, adventure & journey feels because of this. And that'd count for fuck all if those aspects themselves were shit, but they 'aint. Nope, they're all pretty much bang on the money too.

The gameplay is smooth as fuck, and gives you complete, precise control of everything. When you get hit, die or fuck up you know it's your fault. The enemies are plentiful and varied too so you're constantly having to find new ways to deal with them. The difficulty overall is, again, wonderfully balanced. Always challenging, often tricky, but rarely too hard. You always walk a great line between losing & replenishing life & magic, and you can be cruising along for ages, then bam! Switch off or plough ahead without any thought, and you're toast. It's not difficult at all, but it just slaps you in the face often enough to ensure that you have to keep your wits about you.

The story is perfectly weighted for a game like this too. Enough content and role-playing aspects to keep you interested & break everything up, but it's not weighing you down or spewing bullshit at you either. It's simple, it's straight-forward, but it still does it's job spot on, adding an extra layer of depth to the world & events, and that extra bit of interest too. Despite the fact that each NPC doesn't really say or do that much, almost every one still manages carry a certain amount of personality about them due to their visual design & role in the game. The flute boy, the bug boy, the mustached man in the desert, the witch making her brew etc. they all feel as if they have a story & thus make the world feel more alive. There's no real depth to it all in terms of C&C substance etc. but what it does do is give the world character, and that just makes everything feel warm & fuzzy inside.

And that world itself is designed fantastically, and absolutely begs you to explore it. It's constantly dangles carrots and throws potential secrets at you, and each item or reward which you can obtain is usually hidden behind a wonderfully woven puzzle, which can vary from really straight forward, to cunningly frustrating. And one of the real stars of the show are the dungeons. Most are an utter joy to play through, all with their own theme & vibes, all containing stupendously clever & intriguing puzzles, and again all absolutely mastercrafted to a tee.

And almost everything is designed to feel significant too. For example, when you go to rescue the Princess from the dungeon it feels like you descend into a dungeon. Similarly, when she's in the wizard's tower, the game is designed so you really feel yourself ascending the tower to get to them. These are just two small examples of an approach that is adopted throughout the game and which makes the whole experience incredibly absorbing. Most amazingly, it just keeps throwing new things at you, right up until the very end with the last dungeon being a super accumulation of all what you have learned & experienced, with a few more new bits thrown in to boot. It's frankly stunning how the game manages this, and shows incredible dedication, and game design endurance.

But I do have some complaints. Very minor ones, but they still exits. The near-death beeping is annoying and unnecessary. A few of the items are a bit pointless, and rarely needed, and it's a shame they didn't utilize the L&R shoulder buttons to allow you to switch between items too. It did start to grip my shit constantly having manually select them. The game also - very briefly - sags a tiny bit in the middle when the explore-dungeon-explore-dungeon formula's repetition starts to ware at you. It probably could have done with something to break up all the exploration & dungeon crawling, just for a change of pace when it got to around the 6th or 7th dungeon in, and I left it for around 3 or 4 days before returning to it for a breather.

But let's not fuck about, every single little piece of this game has been mastercrafted to perfection, with love, care & attention lavished on each part too. It's nothing short of stunning and a flagship game of the era. One of the few which could genuine go toe to toe with some of the better PC games of that era too. A bonefinde, 100%, timeless classic that is an absolute must own. If this was released in 2021 it'd still be GOTY material easily.

 

[Falksi]

Sensible Soccer - Every Platform & It's Dog

^If you hate green, this might not be for you

Football, it's a fanny owd gayme innit? With a zillion footy games out there to play now, these older ones have a big task living up to the modern sims, but this was the dogs bollocks back in the day, so a return was warranted.

Sensible Soccer still contains a great mix of realism & fun. It knows it's a computer game and acts accordingly, rather than trying to be as realistic as possible. It keeps the game as fast paced as possible, it plays really swiftly & precise - which feels very fulfilling - and it makes no attempt to bog the game down with any heavy simulation aspects at all. It's designed purely for pick up & play for 10-20 min purposes, and to that end it does a very nice job. Especially in two player mode. This is where the games real strength is at. Against a human opponent, the quick, snappy nature of the game works lovely, and provides good, competitive, brief fun.

That said, even with all that in mind there's still stuff which drags it down. Defending is fairly sparse on the ground for starters, it's definitely a game which likes to allow the attacking team to have time on the ball. Goals are also born out of individual brilliance significantly more than good team play, which actually dilutes the game a bit. It feels weird feeling more confident of scoring from 20-30 yards out, than it does laying a simple pass in front of a team mate in the box. And you'll also find yourself using the same methods to score over & over, and once you've sussed out how to score it becomes an absolute doddle.

And that's probably the game's biggest fault. Once you're confident with those scoring methods things become really trivial, especially against the computer AI. The computer opponent is just way, way too easy after a few games, and you'll soon be tanking it by 3 or 4 goals every game no sweat. So it becomes very dull, very fast.

But there's still enough throwaway fun to be had to make this warrant a look, and there's definitely some value in having it as something to fuck about with friends or family on for a short time. Single player mode is very short lived, but the simplistic two player frolics are ideal for pissing about on whilst you have a beer & laugh with mates.

 

[Falksi]

Eternal Filena (Eien no Firēna) - SNES

An intriguing little title originally only available in Japan, the first time I heard about Eternal Filena was only the other week as one of those "games which were so ace they should have got an English translation". It has, so I was curious to give it a go in the hope I might unearth a Final Fantasy-esq gem, and Eternal Filena may become an eternal flame.

Story wise I was actually quite gripped at the outset. It introduces a lot of elements that have a lot of potential to go places and, whilst some are cliched, the down-to-earth setting & grounded + morally grey political tones all worked really nicely together to reel me in. Alongside the great pixelart, and initially simple but fun battle system I was having a good time with it. All of this is executed very basically of course, but done very well none-the less and seemed promising. But sadly that promise never really delivers, and as the game wears on bad design choices begin to bog the whole thing down.

Firstly, there's my big JRPG bugbear - a lack of secrets in towns and dungeons. Yes there are the odd few here and there, but nowhere near enough or significant enough to warrant wasting your time searching around for. Also 80% of townsfolk are completely pointless, which isn't uncommon, but they don't even really help set the scene or build the world either. By the time you've spoken to the 5th townsperson you're hearing the same point 4 times over, and again you find yourself searching for a way to plough ahead. It's not long before you've worked out that there's little fun or point in doing anything other than moving the story forward asap.

Some of the design choices totally hinder everything else which is occurring too. For example, early on the game decides to impede the players eyesight as part of the story, which then leads to exploring a dungeon & town with a blurry "blind" effect hampering you all the way through. I get what they're going for, but in practice it's just a pain in the arse, and doesn't really add anything to the game other than annoyance. This lasts for a good amount of time too, and the whole time I was just thinking "FFS, just get rid of this effect". Again, I found myself just wanting to get to the next section. And that was starting to become a common theme throughout.

I was having a decent time with the battle system initially too. It's the standard turn based affair, and it starts out fairly well balanced, again promising to go places. But yet again it all starts to fall apart as it starts expanding. You can equip up to 3 weapons, and this offers some scope on your strategies. However, this not only fails to deliver due to the fact that you end up relying on the same few attacks anyway (making all those extra options pretty pointless), but weapon management & trading at shops can often turn into a very laboured affair, as you have to find the balance between 12 weapons in total with a full squad (not to mention each players defensive equipment too). This is made even worse by the fact that you can only compare stats after purchasing equipment, and turned shopping into a right ballache.

Battles also move really quickly too, but not in a good way. It's just too quick at times, and I often found myself just trying to get some of the support characters moves out the way. Between all the weapon options & battle speed itself, it's easy to just think "fuck it" and drop onto a standard formula of attack. It further negates the point of having so many options to carefully consider, and overall it just feels very rushed, and blended a bit like Cheese & Piss Twang crisp flavouring. Odd & also fighting itself. Random battle frequency is high even for a game of that era too, and before you know it all the game's potential is turning into a real chore all round.

You need to put a lot of work in to this to get to the meat and potatoes Eternal Filena offers. Even for game of that era, there's a lot of busy-work and bullshit to work around to be able to enjoy the game's very interesting and enjoyable story. Some may be able to endure it, but not me. I'd had enough a significant amount of time before completion.

A game which has some really nice individual aspects, but which are choked by the game's overall setup. Shame.

 

[Falksi]

Desert Strike - PC/Amiga/Megadrive/SNES

Back during a time when EA weren't a total bunch of cunts, their logo was often seen as a reason to actually get hyped for games as opposed to avoiding them, and Desert Strike was one of those very games. Released in that peak period of theirs, it also seemed to hit the crest of a wave with it's timing in general. Not only had you the EA hype, but Saddam Hussain (RIP) was obviously big news, and scud missile jokes + racism were all the rage in the playground too. I loved this game back in t'day, and remember it feeling like it was ushering in some ground-breaking concepts on home consoles. 30 years later, it's gonna have to pull out some stops to hit those heights again.

Well it's certainly still fairly unique for a shooter, and it also still carries enough freshness to feel different today. It's a tactical game as much, if not more, than a SHMUP, and from the off you can tell that it has been crafted very carefully and methodically. Small details such as enemies being weaker if you disable nearby radars are just one example of it's many great touches. Cool little setups such as troops shooting at each other, nicely tucked away secrets, and other such attention to detail throughout add to that, and make everything feel really interesting and detailed. The trouble is though, it's just not always that much fun to actually play, in fact it sometimes becomes a bit of a grind in certain sections.

When it's at it's best it's strikes an impressive equilibrium between all of it's combat & resource management components. You always have to have your eye on something, but rarely do the all the various aspects become unmanageable. For the most part this adds a nice, but gentle, sense of tension throughout, and keeps you on your toes. The combat itself isn't anything out of this world, but it controls & moves well enough for it to be enjoyable and fulfilling. And that's what the game offers at it pomp - you get a real sense of fulfillment.

The cut-scenes are also fucking priceless. Proper hammy, cliched, digitized scenes of Team America Vs the Evil bearded dictator, and it adds this superbly colourful pantomime feeling to everything. Back in the day it was cutting edge, but now it's cheesy as fuck, yet it still remains entertaining. It's a shame there's not a few more of them tbh. Music rarely features in the game itself, and that's an understandable decision as the missions feel far more grounded playing without any tunes to add any emotional tilt in the background. When music does play during the intro & cut-scenes it's great stuff, with Rob Hubbard providing his signature style & sound to add a real sense of excitement.

^He's gonna fart

But when it's not at it's best the missions often go from fun to errand-like. You can find yourself spending ages plodding along doing things like shooting building after building, flying from one end of the map to the other with little to do in between, and it gets pretty old pretty fast. Cheap deaths as you unwittingly fly over highways to the danger zones annoy, as does the ridiculous lack of control which results in the slightest glance with a building. Also, the fact that you're constantly having to watch how much fuel you have can put a crimp in exploration, and discourages it to some degree. There is plenty of fuel out there to last, but sometimes it would just have been nice to have felt comfortable enough to have the the time to explore more to change the pace up a little.

There is also a slight element of free choice in the game, as you can choose how to approach & attack your objectives or targets, which can often make a difference. However, despite it presenting missions to you in a way which suggests you can do them in whichever order you please, you can't. If you do, enemies for later missions sit there in wait with their difficulty ramped up to insta-kill, and slaughter you on sight. On the whole it offers a fairly decent challenge, but with only 4 stages it's also very short too.

In fact you sum Desert Strike up quite simply. Stage 1 - Cakewalk tutorial level. Stage 2 - great balance of everything and good fun. Stage 3 - still OK, but becomes workmanlike and is far more duller than Stage 2. Stage 4 - ups the stakes for a good intense finish. Ultimately, as an overall package it offers enough to be enjoyable, and it's originality, uniqueness and overall design still keeps things interesting throughout too. However I wouldn't have it down as anywhere near a "classic", it's just very, very fucking "neat".

 

[Falksi]

Mortal Kombat - Various

^Wow. Look at that. Amazing.

Digitized graphics. What a fucking travesty. Here we were riding a beautiful peak of gaming in the mid-90's, and suddenly the industry becomes obsessed with digitizing everything. The decline in certain genres was almost instantaneous, and suddenly things which played great turned to shit. Mortal Kombat obviously helped lead the way in this revolution, as it rode the popular wave of Street Fighter 2, added digitized graphics, added gore and voila! Proved how many fucking idiots will pump money into anything if it's got a gimmick. They even got a "K" in the name for their stupidity to dine upon as a bonus. I didn't particularly like it at the time, but I did have some fun on the SNES version as it was just good for a giggle with the lads.

And boy is it fucking awful. Complete dogwank. From top to bottom and almost everything in between, the game is a crusty mold infested clagnut of a game. Back then the graphics may have turned some heads, but now I hope that some can see just how laughably bad they always were. More so though, how bad the God awful costumes which the actors wear are. Actually, no, the costumes are in fact a highlight for me, as at least there's still something to giggle at. It's like the Devs were based in Skegness, and someone gave one £15 with the instructions "Go get us some outfits for a Butlin's fancy dress do. We'll go as martial artists, then use the outfits for the game."

But the game just plays fucking dreadfully. Nothing feels right, you can never be confident in your blows connecting properly, there's a weird lag with everything too, and then you've the fact that you hold a button to block which feels totally un-instinctive & out of place. Each combatant also plays pretty much the same apart from a slight difference with some of their special moves. You'd got Street Fighter 2 with a massive variety of moves from stretchy-legs Dhalsim to "all punches" Balrog, and some dumb fuckwits at the time were saying that MK's 7 clones all using the same standard moveset made for the better game. Jesus fucking Christ, how are these cunts allowed to breathe? And the special moves themselves which do differ aren't actually THAT different either. 90% of them are either a missile attack or a form of player charge.

Nothing feels gratifying either. When you lose you feel skanked almost every time, and when you win you don't feel satisfied because your blows & moves rarely land in a way which feel fulfilling. And when you do pull off a fatality, what once was stunning and shocking to some, delivers an animation about as impressive as a wet fart. It's just another slap in the face for anyone who was ever soft enough to be drawn in by this flakey mound of colonic scrapings. They were fine to make it stand out 30 years ago, but nowadays are almost as comical as the aforementioned costumes worn in the game. Every component of this game is woeful.

The original Mortal Kombat is everything that is wrong in gaming, and life in general. Gimmicky bullshit which panders to the stupid, who will sell their mothers for the first new flashy thing which catches their retarded eyes. Was it OK for a laugh back in t' day? I guess. Has the series evolved to become enjoyable to some degree? Yes it has. But should anyone waste their time on this utter turd of a spunk-stain of a game anymore? No.

Total and utter shite. 1 troll for the comedy & gimmicky laughs with mates.

 

[Falksi]

Captain Blood - Amiga/ST/PC

^Space snatch is bestest

My PC days didn't really kick off until the mid-90's when X-Com & X-Wing pushed me to take the plunge on a Windows '95 system. I did occasionally swap one of my consoles with a mate for his Amiga for a few weeks at a time, and I'm surprised he never owned this as it would have been right up his alley, but the main games which snagged me then were adventure games like Monkey Island. ValeVelKal suggested it, so I gave it a blast.

From pretty much the second I started playing, I felt really sucked in by the game as a whole, and some switch tripped in my head to buy into this big wide galaxy which was there to explore. It's quite incredible that a game this old can still project such a strong vibe, and be so absorbing from it's presentation alone. There's that definite lived-in, "everything serves a practical purpose" tone which films such as Alien nail, and as such everything feels grounded, yet so many components are outlandish enough that anything feels possible too.

It features fabulous graphics throughout, in particular exhilarating 3D flight-through-canyons sequences, which really help create this sense of exploration. But sadly, that sense of exploration doesn't quite deliver on the whole, as if you do decide to delve further and try to boldly go where no man has gone before, things start getting a bit boring as a large number of the galaxy's planets are devoid of life. I also found that lack of variety in gameplay on the whole dragged things down slightly as well.

Communicating can be a bit of a pain in the arse in particular, as with many adventure types games of this era you can often have the right answer in your head, and getting that from your head to the interface, to wording it right to the aliens, can sometimes lead to Chinese whisper style like situations where you don't quite say the right thing. Overall it also took some significant effort to get into it, with me having to spend a fair bit of time sussing a lot of the game out & doing a noteable amount of Googling to get things rolling. With all that said, a fair few of the quests are based on searching for intergalactic fuck-buddies, and there's some space-tits in there too, so that helped with the motivation for playing.

But whether you see the journey through to the end, or just give it a blast, it's definitely a game worth experiencing just for the sheer uniqueness which it offers. It's very original and was way ahead of it's time, it's just a shame that it's also often just as bewildering. Captain Blood's high points are very high, the gameplay not so much, and the overall experience somewhere in the middle, depending on how much effort you are prepared to put in.

 

[Zerth]

And I thought Captain Blood was going about swashbuckling adventures based on Rafael Sabatini's book. Quite a contrast, yet highlñy curious, discovery.

 

[ValeVelKal]

Captain Blood - Amiga/ST/PC

^Space snatch is bestest

My PC days didn't really kick off until the mid-90's when X-Com & X-Wing pushed me to take the plunge on a Windows '95 system. I did occasionally swap one of my consoles with a mate for his Amiga for a few weeks at a time, and I'm surprised he never owned this as it would have been right up his alley, but the main games which snagged me then were adventure games like Monkey Island. ValeVelKal suggested it, so I gave it a blast.

From pretty much the second I started playing, I felt really sucked in by the game as a whole, and some switch tripped in my head to buy into this big wide galaxy which was there to explore. It's quite incredible that a game this old can still project such a strong vibe, and be so absorbing from it's presentation alone. There's that definite lived-in, "everything serves a practical purpose" tone which films such as Alien nail, and as such everything feels grounded, yet so many components are outlandish enough that anything feels possible too.

It features fabulous graphics throughout, in particular exhilarating 3D flight-through-canyons sequences, which really help create this sense of exploration. But sadly, that sense of exploration doesn't quite deliver on the whole, as if you do decide to delve further and try to boldly go where no man has gone before, things start getting a bit boring as a large number of the galaxy's planets are devoid of life. I also found that lack of variety in gameplay on the whole dragged things down slightly as well.

Communicating can be a bit of a pain in the arse in particular, as with many adventure types games of this era you can often have the right answer in your head, and getting that from your head to the interface, to wording it right to the aliens, can sometimes lead to Chinese whisper style like situations where you don't quite say the right thing. Overall it also took some significant effort to get into it, with me having to spend a fair bit f time sussing a lot of the game out & doing a fair bit of Googling to get things rolling. With all that said, a fair few of the quests are based on searching for fuck-buddies, and there's some space-tits too, so that helped with the motivation for playing.

But whether you see the journey through to the end, or just give it a blast, it's definitely a game worth experiencing just for the sheer uniqueness which it offers. It's very original and was way ahead of it's time, it's just a shame that it's also often just as bewildering. Captain Blood's high points are very high, the gameplay not so much, and the overall experience somewhere in the middle, depending on how much effort you are prepared to put in.

Thanks for the review. I agree overall, but would like to emphasize how innovative the game still is after years of gaming including (the game is from 1988 !) it terms of narration.

At the beginning of the game, you may very well think you are some sort of Captain Kirk, exploring the universe, dating aliens, doing low intensity diplomacy things.

Except quickly enough it turns you are Marvel-level of villain, or maybe more accurately Melmoth-level. All the dating, all the diplomacy and later ... all the exterminating has one purpose : prolong your life by a few hours...


Because how many RPG/Adventure games do you have where you can destroy any planet or exterminate this way any race, which then “dynamically” of sort will change how the other races see you. How many of them have you consistently have you lie to aliens to bring them in your “transport pods” that double-down as desintegration bay and “essence stealing” bay [against your clones] ? When the game was released, video games characters were all Loyal Good, but not Captain Blood.

Sadly the game is too slow, storyline, but also due to the light-speed travel transition that you could not skip, and boy the whole purpose of the game was about light speed travel so it really dragged the game down. In addition, from the second half of the game, the controls getting less and less accurate due to your character decaying turned out not to be a great feature. Nonetheless, when it was release and we all were willing to give more time to our games, it was the Superior game.

 

[lightbane]

Damn, I recognize having read, watched or played many of the games shown here so far. How fast time flies.

 

[ValeVelKal]

For a totally different genre, can I propose... King of the Beach [EA] ?

 

[Falksi]

For a totally different genre, can I propose... King of the Beach [EA] ?

Sounds good dude

I'm already halfway through about 5 other games, but will defo add that to the list. Looks groovy

 

[ValeVelKal]

For a totally different genre, can I propose... King of the Beach [EA] ?

Sounds good dude

I'm already halfway through about 5 other games, but will defo add that to the list. Looks groovy

Remember : F1 to fuck with the referee. Real feature. Absolutely exhilarating/raging in multiplayer when the referee caves, which is rare but happens.

 

[Machocruz]

ALTTP is objectively good, but the series hereafter follows in its footsteps, and after a couple games I miss the desolate world, sparse cryptic NPCs, and gloomy, battle-centric dungeons* of the original and, to an extent, AoL. After a while I hated having to spend any time dicking around with goofy NPCs in the 3D Zelda games, and these kind of characters really start in Past. The SNES allowed just enough visual realization to make the definite statement that 'this is a Saturday morning cartoon world,' while the NES games were basic enough to allow the player to have their own interpretation, imo. Maybe others imagined the original to be like Ducktales, but I saw it more like Rankin Bass' Hobbit or Disney's The Black Cauldron.

But again, taken on gameplay execution it's pretty much flawless

*But still very battle-centric compared to the 3D games' puzzle playgrounds

Loved the Strike games, with Jungle being my favorite. I loved games with a diorama look back then.

Smash TV grabbed my attention in the arcades, but I played more Total Carnage. Maybe you can review it. I never knew what the general consensus was on it.

 

[Falksi]

For a totally different genre, can I propose... King of the Beach [EA] ?

Sounds good dude

I'm already halfway through about 5 other games, but will defo add that to the list. Looks groovy

Remember : F1 to fuck with the referee. Real feature. Absolutely exhilarating/raging in multiplayer when the referee caves, which is rare but happens.

I had a quick 15 min blast last night, and really enjoyed it. Top tip about F1, good giggle. Will play it over the next week or so then pop mi thoughts up. Very nice change of pace so far tho.

ALTTP is objectively good, but the series hereafter follows in its footsteps, and after a couple games I miss the desolate world, sparse cryptic NPCs, and gloomy, battle-centric dungeons* of the original and, to an extent, AoL. After a while I hated having to spend any time dicking around with goofy NPCs in the 3D Zelda games, and these kind of characters really start in Past. The SNES allowed just enough visual realization to make the definite statement that 'this is a Saturday morning cartoon world,' while the NES games were basic enough to allow the player to have their own interpretation, imo. Maybe others imagined the original to be like Ducktales, but I saw it more like Rankin Bass' Hobbit or Disney's The Black Cauldron.

But again, taken on gameplay execution it's pretty much flawless

*But still very battle-centric compared to the 3D games' puzzle playgrounds

Loved the Strike games, with Jungle being my favorite. I loved games with a diorama look back then.

Smash TV grabbed my attention in the arcades, but I played more Total Carnage. Maybe you can review it. I never knew what the general consensus was on it.

Nicely. Personally I think LTTP finds the best balance between all it's elements. The 3-D ones I've played (not play BOTW yet) were decent enough, but I think ALTTP's bouncy, snappy pacing works far better. But I totally get your point about the NES & it's unintentional use of the "imagination-gap" to allow players to fill in the blanks.

The second I stopped playing Desert Strike I got an itch for more, so jumped on to Jungle Strike. Only had 20min on it coz it was late, but I'm really looking forward to sinking my teeth into that soon.

And bizarrely I just got Total Carnage this weekend too. Juggling 5 or 6 games at the mo, so will do them first, then swat Total Carnage on there.

 

[ValeVelKal]

For a totally different genre, can I propose... King of the Beach [EA] ?

Sounds good dude

I'm already halfway through about 5 other games, but will defo add that to the list. Looks groovy

Remember : F1 to fuck with the referee. Real feature. Absolutely exhilarating/raging in multiplayer when the referee caves, which is rare but happens.

I had a quick 15 min blast last night, and really enjoyed it. Top tip about F1, good giggle. Will play it over the next week or so then pop mi thoughts up. Very nice change of pace so far tho.

Ah, nice. You have a real chance to tip the referee decision when the ball was close to the lines. Rarely the referee does a real mistake (eg the ball was outside and counted in) and in most cases he will reverse. And sometimes the referee is not wrong but well, you can convince him he is.

In the tournament [campaign mode], there are a few referee shenanigans : the referee that blatantly favors the other team, the referee that can't see shit, etc...