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Let's heckin' play CUCKOLD SIMULATOR: Life as a Beta Male Cuck!!!

Jenkem

その目、だれの目?
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Nov 30, 2016
Messages
8,846
Location
An oasis of love and friendship.
Make the Codex Great Again! Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. I helped put crap in Monomyth
Hahah I took longer in the club than I thought haha! You see, I came across a strong black BULL in the club and he was watching a DVD on his laptop. It was about something called BUCK BREAKING how slave owners would "break bucks" by... well, I don't want to think about it it's so bad. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick to my stomach knowing the kinds of evil my ancestors did to the Black man. It makes me letting Tyrone satisfy my wife all the sweeter knowing it's payback for generations of pain and suffering! Anyways, as I was leaving the club something caught my eye:

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OMG are those freakin' PRIDE FLAGS? so heckin' POWERFUL!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

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Haha looks like someone set up a stand, let's go check it out!

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Brave.

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Powerful.

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Stunning.

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Hahaha I am kidding of course! I knew it was Pride month I just sort of forgot, but I don't want Amanda to know because that would offend her and bring my allyship into question!

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Uh oh, did I just offend her? I didn't mean to.. dammit, why am I so stupid?! It's not OK to be straight anymore and I should have realized that words can be violence. I am so ashamed! I better fix this fast!

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YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!!!!

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I dunno what to pick, I mean I do love my wife but maybe it would be better to say I'm gay? I might get more updoots that way haha not really since this isn't reddit, but kind of since life is like Reddit if you think about it and people's approval of you are basically updoots and disapproval of you are downdoots... XD wow, life really is like Reddit! hahaha

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Oh that's a relief, I'm really good at changing my mind! hahaha XD

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Find out next time!
 
Joined
May 6, 2009
Messages
1,875,971
Location
Glass Fields, Ruins of Old Iran
If Cuckold picks gay then the wife might not like it and divorce taking the house, kids, Tyrone and the funky pops with her. Not having sex with him ever doesn't mean she wants a poof for a husband. She's a strong independent woman and deserves better.
 

Jenkem

その目、だれの目?
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Nov 30, 2016
Messages
8,846
Location
An oasis of love and friendship.
Make the Codex Great Again! Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. I helped put crap in Monomyth
I pondered what my new sexuality was, it couldn't just be that I'm bisexual, could it? I mean I just like to watch, there has to be a different category for me.. I better tell Amanda.

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Uh oh! I really mad an ass out of myself.. Stop being so damn dumb! DO. BETTER.

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Hahahahaah this is so COOL!!!!!! I feel so good haha! Is this what PRIDE feels like??!

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XD I love Futurama!

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Oh, this is interesting and it makes sense since money is evil. But spreading the message about PRIDE is good! THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO PROGRESSIVE!!!
I bet I could do a lot of Pride Outreach at DeShawn's school! Kids are probably much easier to initiate than adults!

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OMG I WONDER IF THEY HAVE PRIDE FUNKY POPS!!!!!!

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WOW THAT WOULD BE SO HECKIN' COOL TO HAVE!!!!!!!! I NEED IT!!!

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Hahaha I like that! PRIDE ON!!!! haha YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS PRIDE ON BABY XD XD Haha, wow! I'm part of something of big and ready to take on the world. I've been so focused on work, and raising the kids and my funky pops that I almost forgot what it's like to be a part of a group. I wonder if Amanda has any advice for what I should do about my funky pops or about Chinatown...

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So true. I feel ashamed for attacking this person, and in THIS month of all months... I feel like I've just been downvoted on reddit :(

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I decided it was time to leave before my big mouth got me in anymore trouble, I had just been welcomed into this wonderful community and wanted to keep it that way.. I figured it was time to go home and get to bed, got another day at work tomorrow after all and I still need to go hit up Chinatown to get some drugs for that real life Anime girl!

As I was leaving I noticed a green sparkle out of the corner of my eye and decided to investigate it...


OMG

IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS???

HAHAHA HOW DID IT GET HERE OF ALL PLACES????

MY LITTLE FUNKARINO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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IT'S A PRIDE MONTH MIRACLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,156
If Cuckold picks gay then the wife might not like it and divorce taking the house, kids, Tyrone and the funky pops with her. Not having sex with him ever doesn't mean she wants a poof for a husband. She's a strong independent woman and deserves better.

I wouldn't be surprised if this could actually happen in-game.

D I love Futurama!

It's disgusting to see the woke cultists taking over good cartoons.

Kids are probably much easier to initiate than adults!

Yeah, what's what the alphabet soup is trying to do IRL...
 

reGZ

Novice
Joined
Feb 1, 2021
Messages
9
i have seen videos. if they add some Age of Empires stuff like converting the mobs i could think about it.
xD:fuuyeah:
 

SharkClub

Prophet
Patron
Joined
May 27, 2010
Messages
1,508
Strap Yourselves In
I know everyone's going to think this is fake but trust me when I say this is an actual situation I'm going through. So for some explanation I have been collection Funko Pops way before I even met my wife. Buying Funko Pops started off just as a small interest but quickly became a passion of mine. Since my first time buying a Funko Pop 6 years ago I've stocked up thousands of these figures. So now about my relationship with my wife. 2 years ago I met my soon to be wife. From the very beginning of the relationship she was well aware of my Funko Pop collection and was well aware that at the time I was spending a few hundred bucks monthly in order to keep expanding my collection. She was perfectly fine with this btw. In fact she would buy Funko Pops for me for my B-Day and for Christmas. However about a week ago we got in a huge fight over my spending of Funko Pops. I will admit these past few months I have been dropping about $500 monthly on Funko figures, but in my opinion it was not financially tanking considering me and my wife have pretty decent jobs. I don't want to state what those jobs are for privacy reasons. Anyways she was telling me I needed to stop the Funko Pop collecting for a long time or at least cut down my Funko spending to 3 Funko Pops per month. In my opinion that is so ridiculous considering how limited I would be in my choice of Funko Pops. I tried to explain to her how much I enjoy collecting these figures, and how much it means to me. She then started yelling that we were going to go in debt because of the amount of money I've been spending on Funko Pops. I stated to her how she was completely over-reacting and there is no way we could possibly go in debt from this.

After some more screaming she locked herself in our room and I had to sleep on the couch that night. I really did not feel bad at all because I knew she was over-reacting. When I woke up in the morning she told me she was going to stay at her sisters house until we could sort things out. I honestly just couldn't believe she was going so far with this. I tried my best to convince her to stay but again she kept stating that I needed to stop the Funko collecting for a long time. That isn't an option for me because again she is completely over-reacting and it is in no way affecting us financially.

A few days go by and I get a call from her. She tells me that I need to choose. Either I stop the Funko Pop collecting or we're getting a divorce. I started telling her how ridiculous she was being because she obviously is being ridiculous. After 2 years she was just willing to throw away our marriage over my passion. She was pretty much sobbing at this point and then I finally just told her I'm not going to let her get in the way of my passion. I still haven't gotten the divorce papers but I'm expecting them soon.

So am I the asshole for choosing Funko Pops over my wife? Again I'm very passionate about them and I think it's ridiculous for someone to try and take that away from me when it is in no way shape or form hurting them..
 

Joggerino

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 28, 2020
Messages
4,472
Spending 500$ monthly on some fucking plastic dolls or whatever means you are already so fucked up you aren't even human anymore.
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,156
Jenken is banned? Why? Actually, a bunch of more users are as well, including Gobblecock, so it's a good thing at least the last part.
 

SharkClub

Prophet
Patron
Joined
May 27, 2010
Messages
1,508
Strap Yourselves In
RIP Jenkem, we shall never know how the adventures of the beta male cuck conclude.
 

Jenkem

その目、だれの目?
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Nov 30, 2016
Messages
8,846
Location
An oasis of love and friendship.
Make the Codex Great Again! Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. I helped put crap in Monomyth
Hahaha we are back! I wish I could have posted sooner but I was really busy with my moderation duties XD! Well, anyways, I guess the time for fun is over and now it's time to get back to work.. I was just about to leave when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye... Is that a FUNKY POP???? OMG I THINK IT HECKIN' IS!! Over there... on the ROOF across the street! hahahaahahah these guys can really move it move it, they like to move it move it, they like to... MOVE IT! hahahaahah

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Well, I guess I'll be skipping my double soy mochalatte, I won't have time to stop by BrokeBucks Coffee if I go and rescue my little funkarino, which I obviously HAVE to do!
Hold on, buddy... Daddy's coming.

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Woah... WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT THE FUCK? Why the fuck is this racist flag on this house? I never figured my neighbor to be a racist chud nazi... I bet he stole my funky pops... dirty fucking racists! It's a good thing I'm here to rescue my little guy because otherwise I'd have a mind to kick this nazi chud's ASS! What a shameful display of everything we are fighting against!

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Now I just need to figure out how to get up there.. time for some more HARDCORE PARKOUR XD... but I can't see a way up over here. Dangit! This is heckin' wearin' me down!

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But I won't give up. I am determined. There HAS to be a way!

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omg yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!! I think I can get up here from here... hahaha fuckin' chud thought he could kidnap my little funky boi, well you LOSE, CHUD! hahahaahah

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I'm almost there... I can feel his love radiating towards me, guiding me ever closer to one of my best friends.

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YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

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Now that he's been rescued, I've got to get myself to work... Another boring drive to the office where nothing happens.. I did listen to some NPR and that was good, but I'm already feeling the effects of not having my turbo protein boosted soy mochalatte with almond milk! Just as I was going to my desk I noticed a picture on the wall... was this always here? I never noticed it...

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Wow! I do not like this message at all. Maybe I'm just charged up after seeing that horrible racist flag, but this picture seems like it is evoking something like slave imagery. I bet many a bucks had their feet shackled when they were broken. It's very offensive to someone like me who knows the struggles of Bulls and is very progressive! I think I should bring this to my boss's attention, he might not get the symbolism of it like I do... or worse yet, could he be a nazi chud himself??? Oh no....

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I'm not sure what to do.. should I just go back to work or should I confront my boss? If I just go to my desk I can get my day's pay and then finally head over to Chinatown, or I could open the door to my Boss's office, but who knows what lies in store there....

What do you guys think I should do??
 
Last edited:

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,156
Yay, it's back! And it's so depressing it's funny!
As for the choice, confront the boss! It's boss time!!!
 

Slaver1

Savant
Joined
Dec 9, 2019
Messages
341
Don't do it. Your asshole chud neighbor/thief/kidnapper/anti-vaxxer with the stupid striped White Supremicist flag got you worked up so you're perceiving something that isn't there in the imagery your boss put up to improve workplace morale.

Plus you're lacking your daily dose of essential soy nutrients so you aren't in the ideal frame of mind to encounter your boss. If you haven't forgotten to renew your subscription to the Blacked website it might be a better idea to go home & use that to pick up some tips for your wife so you get additional pleasure the next time Tyrone comes around. It will go a long way to alleviate the stress from the flag trigger moment.
 

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