NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Caim]

Broke: Having a UI because it's a game.
Woke: Have your UI on your back, guns and projected in front of you because it makes sense for lore reasons (aka the Dead Space approach).
Bespoke: Tiddy health bar.

 

[Dayyālu]

Bespoke: Tiddy health bar.

Fun fact: you don't have legs in Trespasser. You're tits, an arm and a couple of items glued on an invisible rolling ball - causing interesting problems in locomotion. Bunny hopping is sadly optimal in Trespasser.

Second fun fact: if I remember right - but I'm maybe misremembering, been years since I've read that - even the tiddy health bar was an emergency solution because they could not find a proper diegetic way to represent health. When they were forced to throw out the game - Trespasser development was an amusing mess - they went "fuck it" and got the giant tiddies with heart tattoo, much like "we can make only one arm work properly, fuck it".

 

[The Decline]

I wish someone would take a crack at making another Trespasser, there's a disturbing lack of games with scary dinosaurs. Capcom is unwilling to bring back Dino Crisis and all the recent Jurassic Park games are just theme park simulators.

 

[Fedora Master]

 

[JarlFrank]

Can't beat the original:

 

[Mikeal]

 

[markec]

 

[Baron Dupek]

 

[Twiglard]

 

[Infinitron]

 

[Gerrard]

No Unreal

 

[Infinitron]

 

[Caim]

No Unreal

The artist misread that as Urinal.

 

[Shin]

 

[Mikeal]

 

[forumvisitor#451]

Whoosh

 

[Clockwork Knight]

 

[Ninja Destroyer]

 

[Unkillable Cat]

Are most modern-day gamers who stream nothing more than man-babies with low self-esteem? Or are games now being made to condition people's thoughts? You decide!

The latest 'fad' indie horror game is called 'Poppy Playtime', where you explore an abandoned toy factory while avoiding the mother of all Sesame Street-rejects.

The first puzzle of the game is figuring out the combination to a numerical lock... that has no numbers on it, only colors.

Now note how various streamers react to this puzzle... and especially just after they solve it.

(I apologize in advance for making you watch streamers like these, which is why I point out the timestamps.)

First up is Jolly Wangcore (skip to the 5:40 mark)



Then we have Ohmwrecker (skip to the 5:20 mark)



Now it's Markiplier's turn (skip to the 5:10 mark)



Then it's some weeaboo anime faggotry-streamer I'm not gonna bother to name (skip to 2:22)



And finally we have the "oldest" gameplay video of the game (skip to 4:24)

Spoiler

"I am teh smart!"

 

[Viata]

I like how they had to paint both the VHS cassette and the VHS player blue so people would connect those two and go "oh I have to put this blue thing in that big blue thing".

 

[Cyberarmy]

I like how they had to paint both the VHS cassette and the VHS player blue so people would connect those two and go "oh I have to put this blue thing in that big blue thing".

Imagine the confusion if one of them is Betamax

 

[Caim]

I like how they had to paint both the VHS cassette and the VHS player blue so people would connect those two and go "oh I have to put this blue thing in that big blue thing".

Imagine the confusion if one of them is Betamax

The cassette player or the players themselves?

 

[Clockwork Knight]

If you're gonna use logs and diaries to give background on the story, you better make them very visible. You don't want people missing them because the black tapes blended with the shadows of the scenery and then finish the game confused about what happened.

 

[lightbane]

Each video can be rated from least obnoxious to most. At least Jolly is an actual, legit retard, as he's too good at acting otherwise.

 

[JarlFrank]

Each video can be rated from least obnoxious to most. At least Jolly is an actual, legit retard, as he's too good at acting otherwise.

Jolly being legit retarded is what makes his videos fun tbh.

He's also fully self-aware about being an idiot.