Generic-Giant-Spider
Guest
This is where we talk about ports of games, typically good or great games, to lesser hardware that are either surprisingly decent, a good attempt, or such piles of shit they have somehow become endearing. List whatever you want or hold unbridled nostalgia for.
I'd like it if you try to stick to games that would present a challenge of porting over, so no Tetris for Game Boy because it's Tetris and that is impossible to actually fuck up.
Let's start this one off with something hot and heavy.
Do you remember the Game.com? Chances are if you lived in the '90s and bought gaming mags you likely saw an ad for this thing and more notably, the ad for Resident Evil 2. The Game.com itself was this chimeric hellbeast of handheld console and palm pilot which included a stylus, touchscreen and even internet access. It's kind of an interesting piece if you look it up but then you see it was made by Tiger Electronics and you know where this is going. The biggest problem was the Game.com had poor lighting and this made the whole thing barely visible to both the human and eagle eye. Aside from that, the second biggest problem is the Game.com itself had shitty ports of games.
This is Resident Evil 2 in the year of our lord 1998. Now the screenshots in magazines made this seem somewhat good, in fact considering our other handhelds at this moment were Game Boy and, uh, Game Boy, I'd dare say it looked great. But as you can see from the video above, this was one hideously shit port. The FPS alone is barely legal and borderlines on virtual constipation but if you bother to watch that video entirely you'll see about 75% of RE2 has been completely cut out and it all makes no sense. Dogshit. Cool game.
Now if you did have gaming mags from this whole era, at some point in the late 90s and early 00s you no doubt saw the promise that Baldur's Gate was coming to PS1 and Dreamcast. It never actually did. What did surface years later though was a PS1 prototype of BG1 for the Playstation that certainly looks interesting to say the least.
But it's not always doom and gloom. Sometimes a port of a popular game series is released that is not only shockingly good but in some cases actually much better or on par with the big bro. This is the case with Metal Gear Solid for the Game Boy Color which while technically is a standalone game called Ghost Babel, was advertised and sold over here as simply Metal Gear Solid. It harkens back to the original Metal Gear games somewhat but retains everything you liked about the MGS game itself. It even has entire puzzle sequences of cardboard boxes and conveyor belts to travel around this terrorist base and if that's not enough includes a bunch of VR missions including combat VR. If that doesn't get your Kojima boner riled up, get this: the game has text-based cutscenes that can go on for at least fifteen minutes. I kid you not, I had my battery actually DIE on me mid-cutscene during one of these after a boss fight with that incel creep Marionette Owl and I was losing my shit IRL for a good five minutes. I do vividly recall going face down on my bed and flailing my arms and legs around wildly in what can only be called a good ol fashioned temper tantrum while screaming into my pillow. I did that entire shit without Night Vision goggles on so I felt it's justified.
Anyways, tight game. I still recommend it today if you've never tried.
Now it's your fucking turn. I'm tired of doing all the goddamn work around here.
I'd like it if you try to stick to games that would present a challenge of porting over, so no Tetris for Game Boy because it's Tetris and that is impossible to actually fuck up.
Let's start this one off with something hot and heavy.
Do you remember the Game.com? Chances are if you lived in the '90s and bought gaming mags you likely saw an ad for this thing and more notably, the ad for Resident Evil 2. The Game.com itself was this chimeric hellbeast of handheld console and palm pilot which included a stylus, touchscreen and even internet access. It's kind of an interesting piece if you look it up but then you see it was made by Tiger Electronics and you know where this is going. The biggest problem was the Game.com had poor lighting and this made the whole thing barely visible to both the human and eagle eye. Aside from that, the second biggest problem is the Game.com itself had shitty ports of games.
This is Resident Evil 2 in the year of our lord 1998. Now the screenshots in magazines made this seem somewhat good, in fact considering our other handhelds at this moment were Game Boy and, uh, Game Boy, I'd dare say it looked great. But as you can see from the video above, this was one hideously shit port. The FPS alone is barely legal and borderlines on virtual constipation but if you bother to watch that video entirely you'll see about 75% of RE2 has been completely cut out and it all makes no sense. Dogshit. Cool game.
Now if you did have gaming mags from this whole era, at some point in the late 90s and early 00s you no doubt saw the promise that Baldur's Gate was coming to PS1 and Dreamcast. It never actually did. What did surface years later though was a PS1 prototype of BG1 for the Playstation that certainly looks interesting to say the least.
But it's not always doom and gloom. Sometimes a port of a popular game series is released that is not only shockingly good but in some cases actually much better or on par with the big bro. This is the case with Metal Gear Solid for the Game Boy Color which while technically is a standalone game called Ghost Babel, was advertised and sold over here as simply Metal Gear Solid. It harkens back to the original Metal Gear games somewhat but retains everything you liked about the MGS game itself. It even has entire puzzle sequences of cardboard boxes and conveyor belts to travel around this terrorist base and if that's not enough includes a bunch of VR missions including combat VR. If that doesn't get your Kojima boner riled up, get this: the game has text-based cutscenes that can go on for at least fifteen minutes. I kid you not, I had my battery actually DIE on me mid-cutscene during one of these after a boss fight with that incel creep Marionette Owl and I was losing my shit IRL for a good five minutes. I do vividly recall going face down on my bed and flailing my arms and legs around wildly in what can only be called a good ol fashioned temper tantrum while screaming into my pillow. I did that entire shit without Night Vision goggles on so I felt it's justified.
Anyways, tight game. I still recommend it today if you've never tried.
Now it's your fucking turn. I'm tired of doing all the goddamn work around here.
