From Software Elden Ring - From Software's new game with writing by GRRM

[Haplo]

By the way, Magic attuned Uchigatana still does better than enchanted 60 dex scholar armament katana.
Fully buffed with flame grant me strength and golden vow, this is how far we can go :

NG+4 banished knights get one shot. By the really quick L2-R2 of a katana.

I don't doubt that a quick katana might be more damaging. But I don't find colossal swords lacking with their huge Poise damage and enemy stagger.
R2-L2-L2 with Flame Grant me Strenght at 55 Str (one combo was enough here):

 

[Andnjord]

I don't doubt that a quick katana might be more damaging. But I don't find colossal swords lacking with their huge Poise damage and enemy stagger.

Just so you know, according to the wiki a fully charged R2 on a colossal sword does 40 poise damage, meanwhile the Unsheate L2->R2 does 30 while being much faster and almost as damaging

 

[mediocrepoet]

I don't doubt that a quick katana might be more damaging. But I don't find colossal swords lacking with their huge Poise damage and enemy stagger.

Just so you know, according to the wiki a fully charged R2 on a colossal sword does 40 poise damage, meanwhile the Unsheate L2->R2 does 30 while being much faster and almost as damaging

Yes, but the weeabery alone is reason enough to disincentivize this maidenless choice.

 

[Haplo]

I don't doubt that a quick katana might be more damaging. But I don't find colossal swords lacking with their huge Poise damage and enemy stagger.

Just so you know, according to the wiki a fully charged R2 on a colossal sword does 40 poise damage, meanwhile the Unsheate L2->R2 does 30 while being much faster and almost as damaging

Unsheathe is a Weapon Art.
How much does Lion's Claw for example do?

Cause it will knock down or posure break many enemies in 1, maximum 2 moves. And is also plenty fast post patch.

 

[mediocrepoet]

This is the only skill katanabros should be spamming.

https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/Seppuku

A katana user's guide to using Seppuku:

1. Press L1: are you dead?
1a. Yes: Go to 2.
1b. No: Go to 1.
2. Great success! Choose another weapon.

 

[ELEXmakesMeHard]

I just find it hilarious they both end up in the Library.

there's another NPC that ends up in a library other than Sellen?

Boc. His corpse is still there.

There is an alternate ending to his questline. If you do not know what it is you'll never find out on your own.

Come to think of it -- Lyric Suite has never told me that I'm beautiful, either.

There you go:

Oh no -- I hadn't expected this outcome. I was counting on you to ignore me due to my many cursed and perverted posts! Now I feel such pressure to reform and make wholesome posts only -- and maybe do an ethical permadeath run of the Codex, where I self-eject if I backslide.

 

[mediocrepoet]

This is the only skill katanabros should be spamming.

https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/Seppuku

A katana user's guide to using Seppuku:

1. Press L1: are you dead?
1a. Yes: Go to 2.
1b. No: Go to 1.
2. Great success! Choose another weapon.

You are just envious of our 1 goriillion folded steel that one shots 10 bosses at once.

Video of you cutting a tank in half or it didn't happen.

 

[Vibalist]

I just find it hilarious they both end up in the Library.

there's another NPC that ends up in a library other than Sellen?

Boc. His corpse is still there.

There is an alternate ending to his questline. If you do not know what it is you'll never find out on your own.

Same goes for Dung Eater.

Dung Eater, eh? What's that all about?

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Godfrey isn't that tanky. In fact for the penultimate boss I'd say he is fairly squishy. Combined with his long power-up animations he can be killed really fast. I think both him and Malekith could actually use additional hp. And I don't think his attacks are that unfair. Everything he does is telegraphed and easy to tell when to dodge. It is true he is very fast and relentless. But then again, most bosses in ER are deliberately designed like this. Combined with the epic, larger than life presentation, it was easily my favourite fight in the game. I never felt he was cheap in any way.

He has no tells in that fucking running embrace he does at the start of 2nd phase. Just runs toward you with arms held up and then takes 3/4ths of your healthbar unless you guess right on the dodge time. And the other shit has such bad tells it might as well not have tells, like when he lifts one leg up, the holds it like a dog for 10 seconds, another time when he drops it right away, it's just complete shit meant to fake people out. Like all the other bosses too. No one except a few select autists beats these bosses on timing.

Haven't been here in a minute, just wanted to post to say that this game is a fucking masterpiece. Love most of the bosses, but shamefully called on the Mimic Tear for a few second phases. I regret running to it when Malenia transformed because her "you will experience true horror" or whatever actually shook me, lol. Going into new game plus and going to try a no-summons run, I think I'm capable of doing it now. Every enemy or boss that genuinely frustrated me (like the Death Rite Bird in Caelid, my God) made me appreciate them even more, because their evil transcends simply being inferred by color schemes or disclosed through exposition, and manifests viscerally, accentuating the artists work of their portrayal.

So let me get this straight: you had to resort to cheese to beat all the tough fights (like all the rest of us), and you STILL think it's a masterpiece? Good god man... no wonder From Software keeps getting away with this decline shit...

 

[Bigg Boss]

Yeah if only he stood there with a greatshield the entire fight he would be a true hero of Codexian Incline.

 

[mediocrepoet]

Pretty sure there's going to be a tape leaked of Dorky getting sodomized by little Japanese men at some point in the future. It would explain a lot.

 

[mediocrepoet]

Re: butthurt - Yes, exactly. Only you know the depths of anal violation so well. I assume that's why it's your favourite rating.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Pretty sure there's going to be a tape leaked of Dorky getting sodomized by little Japanese men at some point in the future. It would explain a lot.

Is this what you fantasize about? Touching...



Well, I have great news: I am finally done with this fucking shitpile of a game!

Took out Radagon and his bedroom pet Elden Breast by maximum amount of cheese. I mean I did it all here people, switched to Fingerprint Shield for max holy damage negation, summoned a mimic tear, applied fire grease to weapon (it does really good things to Elden Breast). For bonus points, watch Porky sit on the throne as he rightfully deserves at the end, after completing yet another difficult game:



In conclusion, I would like to thank my elite skills as well as give Malenia the middle finger, haha... Optional boss in a shitty game you say? Let Miyazaki fight those...

As far as Elden Ring, it is a highly disappointing game to me. In it, I see the natural progression of massive decline of From Software, from the fun tactical action combat of Dark Souls 1 to this fucking twitch-fest, more suitable to dumb young high schoolers than to RPG players. Aside from the combat, the world is also not nearly as well designed and layered as Dark Souls games, and the quests are absolute horse-shit, mostly only completable by having wiki open at all times. Will only be buying their games in discount bin from now on, if at all. Adios From Software, you were alright for a while, and then entropy fucked you in the arse.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Many men claim to be gud, but only one constantly delivers:

 

[mediocrepoet]

Hang on, I almost missed this...

In conclusion, I would like to thank my elite skills as well as give Malenia the middle finger, haha... Optional boss in a shitty game you say? Let Miyazaki fight those...

Translation: Even your mimic tear cheese and cheat code nonsense couldn't save your sorry fat ass.

Alright, crawl away to wherever you go when you're not pretending that you're not terrible at gaming.

 

[Bigg Boss]

I want you guys to duel.

 

[mediocrepoet]

I want you guys to duel.

I was actually thinking a Codex fight club thing would be cool, assuming region lag wasn't too brutal.

 

[Bigg Boss]

The only reason it did not happen is because all of you fags were too busy trying to see who had the biggest dick. Spoiler alert they are all tiny.



Porky please your ego is the annoying thing about you. You are kinda like Don Quixote running around making an ass of himself.

 

[mediocrepoet]

The only reason it did not happen is because all of you fags were too busy trying to see who had the biggest dick. Spoiler alert they are all tiny.

Aw, you looked!

 

[cruel]

I've reached 100 hours, level 90, and hit a crisis. The boredom got me, too much open world, too much recycling, not enough excitement. The difficulty in this game is fucked. Either you go too early for say Crucible Knight and suffer, or you come back too late to some of the bosses and they go down too easily. In those 100h, the only bosses who were hard for me were Margit (10-15 tries) and Draconic Tree Sentinel (10+). Possibly I may add Shaded Castle boss to this list, as he seems to be designed to screw anyone who is running with a slower weapon (I'm using Large Club), but we'll see. I'm still keeping the weapon at +13, even when I could go to +16, only because I'm afraid that some of the bosses I missed won't be fun :/ Based on what I read here, some of the late game bosses will probably quickly change my mind about the 'easy' part.

Does it make sense to force myself and still explore every nook? Or just skip to main path at this point, if I'm bored? I'm pretty much done with Caelid (most of it), debating between Nokron or Leyndell.

 

[mediocrepoet]

If you're bored and aren't going to just drop the game entirely, just look at a wiki, see what items you might want and go for those + the main path. I liked the exploration and stuff, but at the end of the day, games should be fun. If they aren't, you might as well do something that is, or something productive / make some money in real life.

I don't really get why people feel compelled to push through an experience they aren't enjoying. No one actually cares about the e-peenery and life's too short.

 

[Grunker]

how is there still no plane tickets bitch thread for mediocre and porky

 

[mediocrepoet]

how is there still no plane tickets bitch thread for mediocre and porky

He can't afford the 3 seats it takes to house his ass. Maybe Greyhound, bitch?

 

[NJClaw]

Now that porky has finally made an ass of himself for (hopefully) the last time in this thread, I want to remember you all how it all started:

It's funny how some people say "Elden Ring is so easy", while others say "ER is insanely difficult". Until you realize that the former are playing with summons, OP weapons/builds, after following streamers'/online guides, etc, while the latter are trying to play it like an actual aRPG.

But I guess in 2022, Codex is ok with that kind of shit. Soon, the "RTFM" of the 80s/90s will turn into "WTFSF (watch the fucking streamer first)".

Of all his shit takes that show how he understands nothing about this game and (probably) life in general, this is still the funniest to me. I love how the curse that makes everything he says untrue struck him once again, and in the end he, the one who said "ER is insanely difficult", turned out to be the one to use summons, OP weapons, and online guides. Sometimes I wonder if he sees how reality contradicts every single thing he says.

 

[DemonKing]

As far as Elden Ring, it is a highly disappointing game to me. In it, I see the natural progression of massive decline of From Software, from the fun tactical action combat of Dark Souls 1 to this fucking twitch-fest, more suitable to dumb young high schoolers than to RPG players.

So disappointing that you managed to make it all the way through to the end? Edge Lord detected.

I finally finished today - level 147 after 155 hours. I took 6 weeks of Long Service Leave specifically to devote some serious time to this game and still couldn't finish it during that period. I would have been more than happy if they'd shaved that time by 1/3 or even 1/2 and cut down on some of the reused bosses to be honest. Graphic fidelity may not have been top notch but the art design was so good I never noticed.

I shudder to think what Elden Ring 2 will be like size-wise. Hopefully they have so much money now they don't have to reuse assets quite so much.