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Random game mashup

Joined
Sep 1, 2020
Messages
979
Just a little fun. No rules, really.

Fallout: Quest of the Avatar
War... war never changes. 80 years ago, humanity was nearly wiped out in a nuclear apocalypse. Ruins and scattered settlements remain, where survivors struggle to eke out a living from the barren soil. Lawlessness and despair prevail and the once blessed people of California have now forgotten the Virtues. Yet, hidden deep in the ground, remnants of the old civilization still endure. These are called Vaults. From one of these, Vault 13, a champion--in later days he'll be known as the Avatar--is sent forth to teach the lost people of California about the ancient Virtues. But first he must find the true meaning of the Virtues by travelling throughout the land and meeting its people, while facing many challenges and trials, not least among them a new evil which lurks in the land, the so-called Master and his army of mutants.

Victorian Princess Maker: Heart of Darkness
The year is 1836. One fateful night, you feel drawn to a light in the sky. A shooting star appears and quickly approaches you, and inside you see a little girl. A voice explains to you that she's an innocent child from the celestial realm, and she's been entrusted to you to raise in the manner you see fit. Only you can determine her future and mode of living. Many options lie at your disposal. You can teach her to read, which will open new profitable occupations, but this will raise her Consciousness, which can maker her rebellious. Will you focus on a martial education, or will you teach her about the arts and sciences, bringing Prestige and Influence? Will you raiser her to be a good hard-working Conservative, or Radical Socialist fighting for social justice? Those who follow the martial path will have the option of sending her on special Colonization missions, where she must tame useless Primitives into laboring for you. Success in her endeavors will ultimately grant her an alliance with other great Princesses as well as the opportunity to "annex" the property of your neighbors and exploit them for your economic benefit.

Final Fantasy Larry 7
Larry Strife is a 21 year old virgin. Haunted by his own feelings of inadequacy he suffers a psychological breakdown, after which he acquires a new identity modelled on one of his brief acquaintances in the army, a charismatic member of the special operations unit SOLDIER. With newfound enthusiasm, Larry decides to make his way into the world's greatest metropolis, Midgar, hoping that there he'll have the highest chances of getting laid. Despite posing as a badass mercenary, he's unable to trick any woman into going on a date with him, while still managing to get ripped off several times (he makes it back by gambling). He meets a flower girl named Aeris who calls him "cute" and this sends him into unfiltered ecstasy, but she disappears when he's not looking. Soon after, he finds out that his high school sweetheart Tifa is involved with a terrorist group called AVALANCHE, who oppose the mega corporation Shinra. Still pretending to be part of SOLDIER, he approaches their leader, offering his skills as a mercenary. What follows is a serious of disasters, which end up in them escaping the metropolis while persecuted by Shinra, who for some reason are also after Aeris. While on the road, the two ladies start to compete for his attention, the first time that happened in his life. "This time I'll get lucky", he thought. But fate had other plans for him.
 
Joined
Sep 1, 2020
Messages
979
Barbix

Bix is a stunning young ship commander who falls victim of a plot by jealous brunette coworkers. While flying to her next fashion show in Berlin, her beautiful pink spaceship is shot down and she loses her memory during the impact. Somewhat disoriented, she looks around and finds a jetpack, allowing her to evade the dangerous wildlife like Fluffy Raptors and Hungry Chickens. Soon after she meets the young explorer Stacie, who brings her into a village full of hardworking, but primitive and unfashionable Germans. "Am I in Germany?" she asks herself. Distressed by their condition, she becomes committed to bringing fashion to all the corners of Germany and its many peoples. But how? In the village, she learns about Barbix crystals, which automatically make one more fashionable when consumed, with the small tradeoff of slightly increased autism. She departs in search of more Barbix, making use of her jetpack to explore a wonderful open world filled with mountains, forests, caves and ruins, while taming angry beasts with her fabulous rainbow plasma gun. Along the way she makes many new friends and learns the secrets of Barbix, as well as the troubled history of Germany.

Call of Duty and Steamworks Obscura: Early Modern Warfare with Broken Magic

BOOM! Headshot LMAO! Suck on that, faggot! From the creators of Fallout, the ultimate RPG experience now as action packed FPS with state-of-the art graphics. Choose from an immense variety of broken builds and humiliate the other players by casting Harm repeatedly until they ragequit! There's a lot of dialogue, but it doesn't matter because you can kill everyone! True RPG, Choices & Consequences! Call people niggers, it's the 19th Century! It's a highly intellectual game where you can read books inside the game... or don't! Who cares? Just kill everyone, that's what I do! It doesn't matter! I've got 9 companions.
 

Zenithsan

Educated
Joined
Dec 6, 2021
Messages
144
I'm too lazy to elaborate in deep, so I'm just going to write the titles. I'm hoping your imagination will fill the blanks.

World of Rapelay

Final Rapelay XIV

Rapelay Wars II

Rapelay Online

Shroud of the Rapelay

New Rapelay

Lost Rapelay

And my personal favorite:

Rapelay Rapelay
 

Unkillable Cat

LEST WE FORGET
Patron
Joined
May 13, 2009
Messages
27,089
Codex 2014 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy
Crusader: No Regerts

Taking on a global conglomerate like the WEC can push even the strongest Enforcers past their breaking point. After a harrowing escape from the Moon, the Enforcer opts to just walk away from the fight. He wanders 'till he reaches the backwaters of the state formerly known as Arizona, one of the few places left on the planet outside of WEC's absolute control. He stashes away his armor and starts a new life in the small town of Paradise. It's not much, but it's his to do with, no more orders from anybody.

Two years later and the Enforcer Dude is being bossed around by his monster of a wife, and heads out the door to pick up some milk. "Maybe I was better off fighting the WEC?" he thinks, as he spots a familiar sight rolling into town: A caravan of WEC trucks and APCs. "One of their forced recruitment drives. Either you sign up and get shipped out, or set aside and blown up."

The Enforcer Dude sighs heavily. It was futile to think he could live in paradise. It was crazy to think he could run from the war. Now it's found him. With no way to contact the Resistance, the Enforcer Dude is on his own with naught but an ill-serviced armor and a sidearm... but there's plenty of ways to improvise. Paradise has an comically absurd amount of explosives available, and those hoverbikes can be easily jury-rigged for greater speed. Not a lot of Spiderbots can be found in Paradise, but there sure are plenty of prairie dogs around. "Now where did I put the duct tape?" the Enforcer Dude thinks as he heads home to prepare...

Tetris Forever

The next revolutionary step forward in Tetris gameplay, developed by Alexey Pajitnov himself... for close to 30 years and counting. "It'll be released when it's done!" Pajitnov said in his latest interview (dated 2009).

Don't Shoot the President!

The little online-game from Catturd Studios that took the world by storm. President 'Brandon' finds himself standing at a podium with an open mike, a captive audience... and a M198 howitzer, armed, locked and pointed directly at him. Unfortunately for the President the howitzer not only has a hair trigger, but it's also come under the control of some random internet user, whose slightest input is likely to set off the cannon. Can the user (you) resist the temptation to fire the cannon, as the addled President prattles on and on and on and on? Can Brandon talk his way out of this one? Why is the entire Secret Service not answering their phones? Do you dare log in and find out?

Return of the Normandy

After the cataclysmic showdown with the Reapers, Commander Shepherd's personal vessel, the Normandy, disappeared with all hands lost. Now, seven years later she's found intact, but adrift and powerless with no life signs onboard. As the salvage team prepares to enter the vessel, a high-priority message is received from Systems Alliance-command: "Stand by, wait for special assessment operative to arrive, who'll take command upon arrival." A few hours later a small shuttle arrives and docks at the Normandy. It's name written on the outside hull reads 'Memento Mortem' and the salvage crew can only stand and watch as a single individual enters the Normandy...

As the Special Assessment Operative from the Systems Alliance, your job is to determine the final fate of every member of the ship. You go about this using an ancient and powerful device; a stopwatch that allows you to relive the final moments of a deceased individual. What secrets await to be discovered? What kind of life did Commander Shepherd live? Why was your spacesuit rigged with a ultra-high definition video recorder?
 

V17

Educated
Joined
Feb 24, 2022
Messages
266
Horizon Forza

An open-world scifi racing game where the tracks are plagued by robotic animals and all the drivers are mildly unattractive women.
 

JarlFrank

I like Thief THIS much
Patron
Joined
Jan 4, 2007
Messages
33,052
Location
KA.DINGIR.RA.KI
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
Monkey Elysium: Guybrush Threepwood is a washed up pirate in his 40s, addicted to grog and plagued by crippling depression after his breakup with Elaine. He is still the greatest pirate who ever lived, and the one who defeated Ghost Pirate LeChuck several times, yet in recent years he has only rested on his laurels and bungled all his new adventures to to excessive consumption of alcohol and overly lewd behavior towards women. His old friend the Voodoo Lady still believes in him, however, and sends him on one last adventure where he is supposed to prove that he still got what it takes to be a pirate. He is joined by the nerdy cartographer Wally as his companion.
 

Spukrian

Savant
Joined
May 28, 2016
Messages
667
Location
Lost Continent of Mu
Disnesia: Death of the Rebirth Infinite: This was a strange game. You play a man who is pregnant because of supernatural shenanigans and is being chased by the servants, both human soldiers and supernatural monsters, of the immortal Empress Delilah, who has nefarious plans for the baby. The setting is a gargantuan city stretching throughout both the desert and the caverns underneath, aptly named Gomorrah. The pregnancy proceeds unnaturallly fast and pretty soon you're taking care of a baby, which hampers your abilities. Fortunately in a mattter of hours the baby grows up into a sidekick that "helps" you in combat. Use stealth, melee combat, ranged combat and supernatural abilities. Of note is an ability to enter a parallell world where you sometimes solve puzzles or find an alternative route.
 
Joined
Sep 1, 2020
Messages
979
Fallout: Quest of the Avatar was definitely a classic, but many have forgotten its more obscure sequel, Depression Quest of the Avatar.

Depression Quest of the Avatar (2013, The Guardian Studios, published by Hardcore Journalist and Gay Nintendo Generation)

In the cursed year of 2013, a young millennial woman with purple hair and self-diagnosed depression finds a mysterious portal to another world. In the brink of suicidal ideation she steps inside, only to find herself in a dark, medieval place, much to her disappointment, as going on an adventure was the last thing she wanted. "This isn't like Harry Potter at all", she thought. She soon discovers that this world has a name, the ominous sounding Britannia, and its inhabitants live by an ancient code called the Virtues, imposed by a typical cis-male White hero with blond hair, who she quickly identifies with the "White savior" and "Ideal hero" tropes. The Virtues include a bunch of Medieval jargon like Honor and Valor, the meaning of which she ignores, but quickly realizes are incompatible with her uniquely self-absorbed conception of the universe. All of this contributes to making her even more depressed.

In order to go back to the old world and watch Big Bang Theory, she must wrest these benighted and neurotypical peons from the darkness and into the light, by teaching them to reject the Old Virtues and affirm the new Signaling Virtues. These are Consent, Allyship, Anti-Racism, Empathy, Therapy, Activism, Credentialism and Respecting Women. These are organized according to the three Principles of Self-care, Identity and Hypocrisy, included as a colorful chart within the original copies of the game. Things don't go exactly as planned, though, and she must make certain sacrifices to spread her message, including sleeping with several men in minor positions of authority while avoiding any responsibility for her actions.

Despite being made in 2013, the game has no graphics or any meaningful mechanics and consists of a serious of text prompts, which may put off testosterone fueled teenagers accustomed to graphical celebrations of murder and other typical gamers. The game was praised by critics for educating players on the daily struggles of people suffering from depression and lack of ethics, but only managed to sell a few copies, and some players questioned if it was a worthy sequel to Fallout: Quest of the Avatar. It was later bundled with the October '14 editions of Hardcore Journalist and the January '15 Gay Nintendo Generation)
 

Nifft Batuff

Prophet
Joined
Nov 14, 2018
Messages
3,169
The Dark Soul of Pacman: it plays exactly like the original Pacman.
 

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