Most useless cRPG companions.

[Shadenuat]

don't know dont' remember anyone in bg1 casting Insects on me. I tried tho, and failed even against fairly common wizards.
well I still had my 5 nymphs.

man I wish in one game druids would be reasonably terrifying. like Ravels thorns magic, she felt more of that than any d&d druid.
and less green crap more celtic horror.

also elves should use swords spears axes and not plink with bows.

and uh
(drinks wine)
i'll think of rest ..maybe later.

oh right, I mean, Sylvanus, really? even Faldorn worships him. Thats some kiddy god. worship something more archaic and primal, dammit.

 

[The Brazilian Slaughter]

Virgil, if you play as a tech character.

Every fight starts with him screaming "aargh i'm seriously wounded, pls halp me", and after the fight he wastes his entire fatigue bar to unsuccessfully cast healing spells on you.

Came here just to say "Virgil" who's the biggest BITCH BOY in all of Arcanum, even if you have zero tech aptitude throughout the whole thing.

Are you being attacked by wolves?
Virgil will try to heal you and will pass out and die like a bitch.

Attacked by thieves?
UGH I'M SERIOUSLY HURT SIR PLIS HELP MEEEEEE

Do you need some one to resurrect you?
Virgil will gladly take the scroll and will pass out and die like a bitch during the summon.

Molochean boys ambushed you?
Time to heal your missing 5 hp with major healing, pass out and die like a bitch.

Plot moving forward and you reincounter him in some basement?
Watch him die like a bitch and after being brought back he's even gayer than before.

Why the fuck is a supposed ex bandit badass such a pushover bitch? I fucking hate Virgil. Also scratch that about him being the biggest bitch boy in Arcanum, he's the biggest B I T C H B O Y in all cRPGs.

Virgil is worth it just to get him to Thanatos where he will

Spoiler

Proceed to rant and berate at some heretic elf for disrespect to Nasrudin, and then have a major crisis of faith when he finds out he pretty much berated his own god.

Also, you can play an evil character and get Surly Virgil.

 

[NecroLord]

Zen Virgil has some very interesting things to say after his "accident".
About the afterlife,after his resurrection. It is not some dark place of endless torment,but a literal warm sea of tranquility.
Kerghan justifies his bringing death to all Arcanum as a sort of return to the natural state of all things.

 

[notpl]

I like Garrick, beat the game with him. He is a bard, acts like a bard and without being overly obnoxious like Haer'Dalis or Grobnar.
Xoti in Deadfire is probably the crpg companion I hate the most, horrible writing, weak class weak stats, really only good for her unique item.

Haer'Dalis being obnoxious is his best quality. Well, second-best, after offensive spin + melf's minute meteors.

 

[Lady Error]

This guy in Eye of the Beholder 2:

Steals your stuff and leaves the first time your rest with him in the party.

 

[Grampy_Bone]

Probably already been said but the droids (besides HK-47) in both Kotor games. Totally useless. If you keep them on your main team for anything other than the lulz, u r gay.

Valerie and Amiri in Kangmaker - So poorly built they are each like half a character, you can easily replace both with mercs and get all their strengths and none of their weaknesses. They have nothing redeeming in their personal questlines that makes them valuable, and they're insufferable cunts to boot. Using them in your party is the single worst decision you can make in the game.

 

[Ol' Willy]

All of them, play solo

 

[Mauman]

Jinx Dog

 

[NecroLord]

I also forgot about this waste of flesh.

 

[Sykar]

I also forgot about this waste of flesh.

Well he can be entertaining.

 

[Stoned Ape]

The "weakest" party member in wrath is probably greybor, because he bring nothing to the team and start with already 10 level, so not much build opportunity.
I guess a case could also be made for trever, but most people probably don't even know that he exist.

Not even close

Trever is the most useless character in Wrath by a considerable distance.

 

[bionicman]

Jinx Dog

This, pariah dog. I got him from the random encounter and since I didnt have any other saves I had to restart my playthrough since you can't rid of this dog unfortunately. It's like maxie but worse. /thread

 

[Sarathiour]

The "weakest" party member in wrath is probably greybor, because he bring nothing to the team and start with already 10 level, so not much build opportunity.
I guess a case could also be made for trever, but most people probably don't even know that he exist.

Not even close

Trever is the most useless character in Wrath by a considerable distance.

I mean, I did not even bother to try recruiting him, and that's probably also true for the few people that reached act 4. I just saw his build and made an educated guess, never used him in my party.

 

[NecroLord]

Funny,with the "Jinxed" trait bestowed upon you by the Pariah dog,and if you have a good Luck attribute(to offset the major penalties associated with the "Jinxed" trait),you can see all kinds of crazy and hilarious stuff like Enclave patrols critically missing and destroying their guns,Deathclaws breaking their limbs,your followers critically missing and destroying(or dropping their guns).
Not for everyone,but can be a fun experience.

 

[Crichton]

IE games incorrectly implement a lot of rules, one of the more obvious bugbears for me is letting jaheira wear metal armor and her portrait in BG2 features her wearing metal armor

This isn't true (though it should be). Whoever wrote the multiclassing section of the 2E Player's Handbook forgot about the possibility of armor restrictions for priests.

"Priest: Regardless of his other classes, a multi-classed priest must abide by the weapon restrictions of his mythos. Thus, a fighter/cleric can use only bludgeoning weapons (but he uses the warrior combat value). He retains all his normal priest abilities"

On topic; I've never been particularly bothered by poor companion builds as long as they don't have irritating dialog; so Minsc and his witch having dodgy builds didn't bother me but Jaheria whining at high rep did.

The most annoying companions for me are always forced companions (Blitz, Kreia, half of those Jade Empire retards).

 

[bionicman]

Funny,with the "Jinxed" trait bestowed upon you by the Pariah dog,and if you have a good Luck attribute(to offset the major penalties associated with the "Jinxed" trait),you can see all kinds of crazy and hilarious stuff like Enclave patrols critically missing and destroying their guns,Deathclaws breaking their limbs,your followers critically missing and destroying(or dropping their guns).
Not for everyone,but can be a fun experience.

The dog also reduces your luck to 1.

The moment the player enters the map, the game makes a Luck check and repeats it every ten seconds. If the player character fails the Luck test, the dog joins their party over the party limit, dropping their Luck to 1 (2 for the gifted) and providing the Jinxed trait free of charge.

 

[rusty_shackleford]

IE games incorrectly implement a lot of rules, one of the more obvious bugbears for me is letting jaheira wear metal armor and her portrait in BG2 features her wearing metal armor

This isn't true (though it should be). Whoever wrote the multiclassing section of the 2E Player's Handbook forgot about the possibility of armor restrictions for priests.

"Priest: Regardless of his other classes, a multi-classed priest must abide by the weapon restrictions of his mythos. Thus, a fighter/cleric can use only bludgeoning weapons (but he uses the warrior combat value). He retains all his normal priest abilities"

On topic; I've never been particularly bothered by poor companion builds as long as they don't have irritating dialog; so Minsc and his witch having dodgy builds didn't bother me but Jaheria whining at high rep did.

The most annoying companions for me are always forced companions (Blitz, Kreia, half of those Jade Empire retards).

Jaheira is a druid which is its own class in 2E, and yes it is true.
"Multi-class druids must abide by the weapon, shield, and armor restrictions of their branches."
— The Complete Druid's Handbook

predated BG2 by about 6 years so there was no excuse for excluding it from an official AD&D 2E game

[edit]
and for the record, it didn't require an additional explanation and was implied by being a druid. A multi-class druid isn't a half-druid or something, they're a druid. I assume it was added because it was a question asked more than once and they wanted to clarify.

 

[Mauman]

Funny,with the "Jinxed" trait bestowed upon you by the Pariah dog,and if you have a good Luck attribute(to offset the major penalties associated with the "Jinxed" trait),you can see all kinds of crazy and hilarious stuff like Enclave patrols critically missing and destroying their guns,Deathclaws breaking their limbs,your followers critically missing and destroying(or dropping their guns).
Not for everyone,but can be a fun experience.

No.

Pariah dog sets your luck to 1.

Yes, 9+ luck and jinx can be a fun way to play the game. Pariah dog ain't that way.

edit - ah, Bionicman already beat me to the punch here

 

[NecroLord]

Yeah,I completely forgot about that.
But Jinxed can also be taken as a trait at character creation,so...

 

[blessedCoffee]

Jinx Dog

This, pariah dog. I got him from the random encounter and since I didnt have any other saves I had to restart my playthrough since you can't rid of this dog unfortunately. It's like maxie but worse. /thread

What? You can, through the use of violence, and it won't even try to attack you when harmed.

Go inside a room and lock it (another companion may open it during the fight, otherwise), initiate combat and kill Pariah dog (it can't possibly escape inside a locked room).

 

[NecroLord]

Sulik and Cassidy are absolute badasses. Great companions. Cassidy has a talking head if you play with the Restoration Project.

Staying on topic,what other shit companions can you think of?

 

[kangaxx]

The dog from KCD. Fucker kept getting me arrested and thrown in the cooler.

 

[3 others]

"I fix you, you pig! Then I spit at you!"

Slow, weak, stupid, Romanian, inaccurate, abrasive, slaughters teammates at night, useless gear.