Poke's, Pandemonium, and sPanglish-Let's Play Pokemon Marble

[IsaTheAwesome]

*~Let's Play Pokemon Marble~*

Updates:
The One Where Our Hero[ine] Is Introduced...Sort Of (This one! Scroll down!)

Ever since I read my first Pokemon LP, I knew how cool it would be to do one. But what to do? Something Awful had forbidden Pokemon LPs (and I was too cheap to get an account anyway), and the other LP forum I found allowed only videos.

And then I found two things: this very forum and this very mod:



Now, note that there are absolutely no Pokemon in common with the other games. So there is absolutely no way to predict the starters or anything. So if you know anything about this game, feel free to throw out any names you'd like.

And so it begins...

--
What the...?

Huh?

Where...where am I?




I could ask you the same thing. Now where am I? Am I dead? Because if I am, I'll kick your ass from beyond the grave.



Trainers...? Oh, right. Mom sent me to this seminar thing. Said I need to "do something besides sit in my room strumming that stupid guitar".

But why the hell is there no background? Where IS this Future Trainers' Seminar, Dimension X?



Tomorrow? Jeez, are you that desperate to kick us out of our homes and unload creature of mass destruction on us? Kanto cops would arrest you on sight if they knew about this.



Okay, but if it starts screaming "COMERADE!" at me and trying to enlighten me to the joys of Communism*, I'm beating it to death with my shoe.



Why am I not surprised that your Pokemon of choice makes an unholy, annoying cacophony?



No shit. I'm not a retard. I paid attention in third-grade science.



Are you blind? This place is bright as day. It should be clear that I'm a...



--

Well, ladies and gents? Are we male or female? Also, what's our hero's name? The rival probably needs one, too, so what's theirs? Only seven letters allowed, but other than that, go nuts!

And no, I'm not naming him/her Dongs.


*Offense to actual Russians not intended, that's just what the hat reminded me of.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Choose the girl, name her Bubbles, pick the water pokemon.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

But what to do? Something Awful had forbidden Pokemon LPs

What? The Quartz (hack) one was hilarious, specially the modder's horrible self insertion characterS...he has a CLON(sic). There's also some other hack , Black something. didn't play yet. Also other one that replaces all pokeymens with girls in costumes (Cute or something)

btw, the male looks like a frat boy.

 

[IsaTheAwesome]

What? The Quartz (hack) one was hilarious, specially the modder's horrible self insertion characterS...he has a CLON(sic). There's also some other hack , Black something. didn't play yet. Also other one that replaces all pokeymens with girls in costumes (Cute or something)

Yeah, SA banned Pokemon LPs because of pretentious assholes that take the game too seriously.

I've read the Quartz one. In fact, it's what inspired me to do Marble, which is the sequel to Quartz. And I've played Moemon, but I prefer Touhoumon (replaces all Pokemon with Touhou characters).

btw, the male looks like a frat boy.

Yeah, he does. That or a jock from the Grease version of the 1950s.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Female, Bubbles.

 

[IsaTheAwesome]

Okay, guys, turns out our rival does, in fact, need a name. He looks like a woman this:

 

[Reject_666_6]

Kingcomrade.

 

[Sovard]

He sort of looks like... a tranny.

That should give you a wealth of names considering this forum.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Name him Lithium and start already.

 

[Emotional Vampire]

What kind of abortion is this?

 

[IsaTheAwesome]

What kind of abortion is this?

It's no sort of abortion! It is, however, still pretty fucked up.

--

When we last left our heroine, she was speaking to an annoying guy in a strange dimension. We learned that her name was Bubbles, and her rival's name was Lithium Kabouchy (I wanted to name him Kingcomrade but a) I don't know the mythos behind Kingcomrade himself, and b) it wouldn't fit.)

Now back to our scheduled programming.

--



That was a messed-up dream. I don't even know what the fuck was going on.



Oh, hey Mom.

Mom: Oh my, you're late to the Pokemon selection!

But Mom, I don't want a P-

Mom: GO DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE. NOW, BUBBLES.



Away from you. I don't want to train a fucking Pokemon. I've got better things to do.



Hey Lithium. Your mom bully you into this, too?

Lithium: Like you wouldn't believe. She even threatened to disown me.

Ouch.



Stay out of my dreams, you asshole.



There are no other people. You only called us, you senile shithead.



A success? I'd expect that to be a bit of a failure, since you're stuck with an extra Pokemon.



Pokeballs. ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?



Okay, here we have a deformed radish...



...I don't have a clue what the fuck that is...



...and a demented rat.



They all look like ass. I'm going home.



Oh, fuck you.

--

And now we vote on the starter.

EDIT: Never mind, I fixed them.

Please don't make me pick the Coalchu.

 

[Satori (original)]

The fuck is a Coulchu? First-gen Pokemon or gtfo, next-gen cunt.

 

[IsaTheAwesome]

The fuck is a Coulchu? First-gen Pokemon or gtfo, next-gen cunt.

I don't like them any more than you do. If you have an issue with this hack, you ought to take it up with the creator, not me. I'm just LPing it FOR LULZ AND SCIENCE.

And don't call me a next-gen cunt, purist shithead.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Pick the Todad and name it Flappyjack.

 

[Emotional Vampire]

Fuck off, horse. Your LP failed. It's enough we're playing a female with a dumb name.

I say go with fire Pokemon, it looks badass, it sounds kinda Lovecraftian and it's the hardest choice.

 

[Sovard]

Pick the little green acorn and call him 'Sacrebleu'

lol wut

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Fuck off, horse. Your LP failed. It's enough we're playing a female with a dumb name.

I don't really think you can abandon a pokemon lp and fail.

 

[OccupatedVoid]

Pick the wierd raddish thing as your starter!

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Because he abandoned this lp, I'm going to mark it as "COMPLETED" and "AN INSPIRATION TO US ALL".

Whenever I have time.

 

[IsaTheAwesome]

Because he abandoned this lp, I'm going to mark it as "COMPLETED" and "AN INSPIRATION TO US ALL".

He? Since when is "Isa" a boy's name?

And I didn't abandon it. In fact, I am organizing the next installment as we speak.

--

What'd I tell you?

When we last left Bubbles, she had encountered The Annoying Professor again, and was promptly dragged kicking and screaming to his laboratory and forced to choose from three abominations. She wound up selecting, by a vote of two...

THE FUCKED-UP RADISH!

And now back to our scheduled programming.

--

What the fuck is up with its profile picture? It looks like a dinosaur, but it's a radish.

Lithium: Hey, Bubbles?

Yeah?

Lithium: If this thing eats me, you can have my Wii.

I don't blame you one bit for saying that.

Oh, okay. Goodbye, sayonara, adios, au revoir, FUCK YOU.

Baro: U'LL HAS NO TRUBBL GETIN DERE, BBLS!

Get the hell out of my sight.

Lithium: Let's battle! *whispers* As soon as this battle is over, I want you to run and not turn back for any reason. Once you hit Tangerine, you are not to go near--

Baro: OBLGTRY BATL TTRIL!

Please just die.

Lithium: Thank you.

Again, ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER.

Lithium: But you'll never beat me blah blah blah. *whispers* Fucking run.

Gladly. Judging by what Lithium's been going on about, this is bound to be the last true rest I'll have for a while.

Thank whatever holy thing there is I'm out of that dead-end town.

HOLY HELL. Seriously, w-w-what is that thing? It looks like it'll tentacle rape me when I sleep.

...

With all those rape-tentacles, it'd be one hell of a drummer, though.

No, but your name sounds awfully familiar. I think Baro was raving about you. Said you were his biggest success.

Foxy: You heard about me from...oh shit it's happening again BAAAAAARRRRRROOOOO!

...What the FUCK just happened?

The fact that someone keeps this many turkeys in their house hints at a farm or a REALLY sick fetish.

Guy: My sister let all the Tukur out of her Love Shack! FUCK!

...Why can't it ever be the farm?

Yes, I'd like a couple Full Restores, four or five Potions, ten Max Ethers, and--

Clerk: OHAI UR FRM BLOSUM TAON U MUST B BARO-SAMA-SENPAI-SENSEI'S GODSON!

Uh, I'm pretty obviously--

Clerk: TEK TIHS PAKAJ 2 UR GODDADDY U CHEKY BOI!

--female.

There's just no reasoning with Barolings.

Training? What train--

Baro: ZOMGZORS THE PAKAJ! BUT TAHT WUZ 4 LTHM!

Yeah, the clerk kind of shoved it into my hands...

A...costume?

You sick fuck.

Baro: O BTW POKEDEXES.

Lithium: *whispers* What the hell, Bubbles? I told you not to go near the Pokemart!

Sorry. Your asshole godfather drowned you out.

Lithium: My mom's got maps. Leave for REAL this time!

Take that, you tentacle-rapist/drummer.

Most fitting name ever.

--

And I leave you here.

BTW, I'm not bothering with Pokedex entries because lazyass Baro didn't change them.