Imperial Guide to the World of Man
12th Year of His Imperial Majesty's Reign
In a noble effort to enlighten humanity and keep it up-to-date with our constantly shifting global politics, the Imperial Herald is proud to announce the new and revised edition of the
Imperial Guide to the World of Man - as always 100% truthful, unbiased and completely reliable. Whether you wish to brush up on your knowledge, find the hot spots for profitable investment or simply impress your friends and colleagues by being informed on the current state of affairs, this illustrious guide is your obvious choice!
The Disunited States of Kwanzania
A far cry from its former self, Kwanzania has rapidly succumbed to its foolish socialist schemes, paying the terrible price for its careless flirtations with multi-kult communism. The dreaded congoid rape apocalypse is a confirmed fact, and as chaos sweeps the nation, its previously impressive space program has grounded to a complete halt. Valiant efforts to restore freedom and democracy by the coalition of peace and prosperity have been exceedingly effective, resulting in several smashed enemy armies and the restoration of the New California Republic. Complete liberation of Kwanza is prolonged solely by the malicious covert and overt aid to terrorists, cyber-machete rapists, mutants and insurgents provided by freedom-hating elements within the Soviet Union.
Luso-Brazilian Star Empire
Trusted allies of the Greater East Asia, the Luso-Brazilian Empire has focused entirely on strengthening its Earth-based operations. Its industrial might is spectacular, and its armed forces rank as the fourth strongest in the world. Its participation in the liberation of Kwanzania has helped secure several victories against the forces of chaos, as the commendable Luso-Brazilians have resolutely held their ground against the mainstay of the Kwanzanian horde, allowing Celestial and Polish-British forces to accomplish several joint objectives. In light of the imminent depletion of planetary TN-resources, it would however seem that the Earth-centric strategy is quickly running its course. Unless the Empire expands to other celestial bodies, it will soon find it very difficult to sustain its massive industrial sector.
Irkalla Collective
As reclusive as ever, the Collective has mostly continued to stay out of international affairs. Notable exceptions are the opening up of limited trade with the Celestial Empire, and the military and economic alliance with the Soviet Union, commonly referred to as the "Cairo Pact" (highly ironic, since the League of God which currently controls its namesake denounced the alliance and its own alleged participation mere hours after its announcement). Unlike their Soviet allies, the Collective has yet to join the space-faring powers, preferring instead to strengthen its Earth-based defences by deploying several additional Meson-cannons.
Celestial Empire of Greater East Asia
Continuing to distinguish itself as an ever-peaceful, prosperous and powerful vanguard of freedom, tradition and capitalist values, the Pan-Asian Celestial Empire stands like a colossus astride the world, fielding a Trans-Newtonian army second to none, ruling over colonies on Luna and Mars and operating a healthy free market rivalled only by that of our Omniventurial friends. In addition, Greater East Asia possesses a massive fleet of civilian ships, and has established mining bases on Tempel-1 and Reinmuth. The Empire is currently allied with the Luso-Brazilian Star Empire, enjoys close ties with Omniventures Inc. and the Polish-British Commonwealth, and is currently involved in the great restoration of the failed state Kwanzania.
New Kingdom of Prussia
From a promising beginning, the kingdom is now suffering greatly due to the sudden withdrawal of King Frederick IV. The powerful Landwehr is inactive, and New Prussia itself, the once proud bastion of the Nordic race, is left entirely dormant, supposedly since its rigidly disciplined and extremely lawful population simply cannot proceed without receiving new orders from their superiors. German punctuality at its finest, though possibly also its worst. It remains to be seen whether the monarch will return to break this deadlock, if new leadership emerges, or indeed, if the entire realm disintegrates, either by falling victim to barbarian hordes or by having regions secede to join friendly powers.
Eternal League of God
The League recently surprised the world by denouncing its former (alleged) partner the Soviet Union, rejecting the "Cairo Pact", embargoing the communists and making sudden diplomatic overtures with the New Kingdom of Prussia. In international politics, the League has been dismissive of claims to celestial bodies, with their representative Mr Fritzl arguing strongly in favour of free utilisation. While the Templars have no known space assets aside from their shipyard facilities, it is expected that they will soon launch off-planet mining to sustain their industry. Once they do, their apparent disregard for territorial claims might spark conflict with the other great powers on Earth.
Polish-British Commonwealth
Despite the recent addition of the racially white population of the Free Capitalist Boerestaat (as part of the system of supported democratic self-rule) to offset its horrendous amount of parasitic low-born citizens, the Commonwealth still struggles under the constant strain of powerful and entitled coloured minorities. Its multitude of less advanced associate members (included in the map above) may also constitute a far heavier drain on Commonwealth resources than they mitigate with potential contributions. Internal problems aside, the Polish-Brits have nevertheless pushed into space, establishing colonies on Luna and Mars, and Yates Transport Limited operates several state-of-the-art spaceships and a number of off-planet mining bases. The Commonwealth Army is also a force to be reckoned with, comparable in all respects to the Imperial Army of the Celestial Empire, having recently distinguished itself in Operation Freedom Shield and the Kwanzanian liberation.
Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
The black octopus has grown bolder in recent years, huffing and puffing hateful rhetoric while greedily spreading its tentacles towards moons and planets alike. The Red Army maintains control in the totalitarian state, and currently masses in Central Asia to menace their new ideological enemies in the League. Meanwhile, outdated factories run around the clock to fuel the rampant exploitation of Venus, Mars and Titan. However, all is not lost, for there are also some good news: the crude state-owned transport fleet, horribly inferior to Omniventurial, Celestial and Polish-British shipping, has recently been strengthened with what appears to be pseudo-capitalist ventures - a glimmer of hope that the communists may indeed be opening up to real progress and freedom. The ventures have even begun speedy utilisation of Halley's Comet and Schaumasse, proving the superiority of a laissez faire approach. Furthermore, negotiations during the Olympus Conference have been quite constructive so far, providing what may soon be turned into a framework for peaceful coexistence in our Solar System.
Omniventures Inc.
Last but never least, the thrifty corporate republic Omniventures Inc. continues to shine like a beacon of freedom and prosperity in the world, a bright and beautiful twin star to the glorious Co-Prosperity Sphere in the East. After having helped restore freedom and democracy to the Free Capitalist Boerestaat, the business-savvy moguls of Prosperia have now shifted focus to their Deep Space ventures. Predictably, the results have been nothing short of majestic, with Eisenstark producing armadas of modern ships, developing Trans-Newtonian mining on Van Biesbroeck and establishing a healthy, thriving capitalist colony on Io, one of Jupiter's moons. A splendid future awaits our Omniventurial friends and partners, for the stars are ripe with the Trans-Newtonian materials we so dearly need, and to quote a certain Boerestaat businessman: "the rewards of wealth still await those wise enough to recognise this deep thrumming of our common pulse."