NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Humanity has risen!]

Except you can't say anything bad about you know what and don't have freedom, and you have to pay for it.

 

[DraQ]

Surface loss - $900 million
Bing loss - $1.3 billion
X-box loss - Priceless.

Funnified.

In an unexpected twist, an internet discussion about Something Awful "goons" ends with an RPG Codex punch line:

View attachment 3219

Except Codex is free. In both senses.


Also, we tend to be understanding when it comes to someone not wanting to join.

 

[Ninja Destroyer]

Surface loss - $900 million
Bing loss - $1.3 billion
X-box loss - ???

The most interesting numbers are missing.
But it's too early to close anything, due to the release of the new versions, and lacking bigger number of games on it.

http://bgr.com/2013/11/26/xbox-one-profit-estimate/
http://www.gamesindustry.biz/articl...osses-hidden-by-patent-royalties-says-analyst
http://www.neowin.net/news/report-microsofts-xbox-division-has-lost-nearly-3-billion-in-10-years

I really doubt the xbox one will do any better than the 360 did. It's just money down the drain for Microsoft.

That last article on neowin is full of win. And Sony, which is so tiny compared to MS has even bigger loss.

He shows, via Microsoft's own financial numbers. that the Xbox division has lost close to $3 billion in the last 10 fiscal years. Sony's gaming division lost even more money in the same time period, with a lost of almost $5 billion

Without this huge group of people buying consoles or console games, the console platform holders will no longer be able to make enough money to justify developing, marketing and manufacturing the devices.

He adds that it's possible that hardcore gamers who can't see themselves playing games on a mobile device could move to playing games on a PC.

 

[Dexter]

I'm very skeptical in regards to a lot of those numbers, since I don't really see where they could have lost a lot of that money some of these sources are arguing. On the latest console generation there was a lot less R&D spend aside from their obsessions with things like Kinect and they're basically selling rebranded PC components. On top of that they are making money with monthly Online subscriptions, 10% game tax on every sold game on their platforms, additional to the money they get through all the Advertisements on their platforms and things like "avatar clothing accessories" and all the digital downloads and DLCs they are pushing of which they undoubtedly get a large parts of.

I literally can not see what they could have possibly done to offset all of that and let those kind of losses occur. It's kind of like saying that Steam is making billions of dollars in losses when they don't really need to do much of anything and are basically printing money.
Only thing that comes to mind is subventioning a lot of expensive games and buying off Exclusivity and Advertisements like review magazines and similar.

 

[evdk]

He adds that it's possible that hardcore gamers who can't see themselves playing games on a mobile device could move to playing games on a PC.

How exactly would that be excellent? We have just barely gotten out of the slump caused by the first retard invasion.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Hey, who retardoed my post that had nothing to do with SJW? Gender and race were mentioned because the guy was talking about chargen, you aspies.

 

[LundB]

Hey, who retardoed my post that had nothing to do with SJW? Gender and race were mentioned because the guy was talking about chargen, you aspies.

Come on. Nobody was making fun of the first post about chargen, the focus was obviously the reply 'omg this is how we teach racism, the mature thing to do, etc.' sjw stuff.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Second guy was the focus of course, and he was also talking about chargen (and how the game shouldn't care if you chose to play as a high elf in a province where everyone hates high elves, etc.). Is it SJW if we're talking about elves and khajiit?...oh well. In my heart, I know it was game related.

 

[groke]

I don't see the problem with posting dumb shit (SJW or not) from other gaming forums, that's what BTE is for. The problem is posting non-game-related SJW spergery from tumblr and jezebel and shit (jury is currently out on whether kotaku is a gaming site or not).

 

[Delterius]

Clockwork Knight The Revolution is happening man, the downtrodden are rising against the SJWWatchers of this thread. Never again shall the lulz be impeded by people's inability to remove the more inane parts of social justice tumblr from their asses. Best not to be caught in the crossfire.

 

[groke]

btw, evdk catfood Broseph all you want; I may be very small, but inside, I'm tall!!

 

[DraQ]

How exactly would that be excellent? We have just barely gotten out of the slump caused by the first retard invasion.

You mean '95 one?

 

[evdk]

How exactly would that be excellent? We have just barely gotten out of the slump caused by the first retard invasion.

You mean '95 one?

Obviously not, cos that one's me.

 

[LivingOne]

BruceVC said
Funny enough that's true, I've used "intense" adult mods in games like FO:NV that includes full nudity, extra dialogue lines and enhanced sexual actions but I don't do it for real life sexual gratification. You do it for the RP experience. In other words if you consider your character is living in this post-apocalyptic world where mankind has been wiped out and death awaits at every corner you don't think he is also going to have sex with prostitutes and lecherous women. If your character can indiscriminately slaughter bandits and mutants he can also have enhanced, adult sex experiences. I don't consider sex as deviance. Sorry



But for me if I wanted really get some kind of sexual gratification through the Internet I would go to an Adult entertainment website. I don't think people use Adult mods because they "want to get there rocks off"

http://forums.obsidian.net/topic/64356-dragon-age-inquisition/page-25

 

[Infinitron]

Play Blinky Fish, EA's Flappy Bird Successor

Flappy Bird may be gone, but Blinky Fish promises to offer just as much quality and depth of gameplay. Emboldened by their monetization efforts in Dungeon Keeper and Plants vs. Zombies 2, Electronic Arts believes that Blinky Fish will be their next tentpole franchise. Although the game is still early in development, EA was kind enough to share a fully playable build with our audience.

Instructions for Blinky Fish build 1.0:

1. Tap or click the game screen directly below these instructions to start playing.

2. Tap or click Blinky (the fish) when he blinks - and ONLY when he blinks - to increase your total score by one point.

3. Tapping or clicking at any other time will reset your points to zero.

Patch Notes for the upcoming Blinky Fish 1.1 release:

• Implemented a visual representation of the user's score.
• The amount of time between each blink is roughly 24 hours. We believe in empowering our customers, however. If users want to shorten this interval they can buy and spend Blinky Bux from the EA microtransaction store to do so. Five Blinky Bux (ten actual dollars) will supercharge the experience and make sure that the next blink happens within one hour.
• Added sound and animation.
• Added an iTunes voting system. When a user attempts to give Blinky Fish a vote for anything lower than a 5/5, their device will discharge a wildly unsafe electrical shock then self-destruct.
• Switched the game from the .png file format to one that can actually be executed to run code and whatnot.
• For three Blinky Bux, players can now enable a Death Threat button which allows them to send a death threat directly to the creator of the game. After a single use, the button disappears. It can be purchased as many times as the user wishes.
• Fixed an error that made it possible to hear Blinky Fish's looping inner monologue about that unbroken six-minute tracking shot at the end of this week's True Detective.
• Released an unbelievably shitty PR statement chalking up all player complaints about Blinky Fish to disgruntled fans of Flappy Bird. We never addressed the real issues that customers brought up such as our intrusive and clunky implementation of in-game purchases, but we did claim that some people cling to the past and would probably gripe about anything different. Added some bullshit about being very proud of remaining true to the spirit of the original game and bringing the core experience to new audiences.
• Added a reminder that this game's sprites in no way resemble anything you've seen before, and that you should feel bad if the thought had even crossed your mind.
• Since Blinky Fish is published under our Indie Division Corporate Initiative, the in-game news updates will now express a concern over how truly "indie" the game might be. If enough users buy Indie Points each week to prove that it is an indie game, the title will not be deleted.
• Replaced all graphical elements with buttons that urge players to "Unlock This For Just 2 Blinky Bux!"

 

[Angthoron]

Flappy Bird Developer Realized the Damage His Game Has Done After EA Offered Him a Job
by Jack · February 8, 2014

Creator of the hit game Flappy Bird, Dong Nguyen, is taking down the game. He’s doing this because he realized how much damage his game has done to the industry after EA offered him a job.

Dong Nguyen is not a happy man. His game Flappy Bird was never supposed to be a hit mobile game. But it happened. The whirlwind success of Flappy Bird and the subsequent clones that followed all reveal the dangerous world of smartphone games. And it’s too much for one man to bear.

An employee who works for EA, who wishes to remain anonymous, told us that Nguyen was extremely upset after he offered him a position at the company. According to the employee, Nguyen went on a very passionate rant about what Flappy Bird has done to himself and to the game industry.

“He called EA a really bad game company which I think is unsubstantiated most of the time,” said the employee, “This guy then went on to say that Flappy Bird is destroying his love for video games. I don’t see how because he’s making a lot of money off of the game. It’s the main reason we want this guy to be part of our team.”

“All we wanted to do was turn Flappy Bird into a real money-making machine,” continued the employee, “He clearly has the knowledge on how to make a really addictive smartphone game, but we can do the hard work of adding microtransactions and time sinks. We would also love to include an in-game currency like feathers as well.”

“This guy doesn’t realize what he’s throwing away,” he explained, “His complaints about how games like this shouldn’t be the face of gaming is really disheartening to us. This could be the next Angry Birds. Imagine children buying Flappy Bird shirts and dolls. To be honest, I don’t think we even need to improve the game with microtransactions because it’s so popular already. I’d love to get started on licensing this IP because it sure beats putting effort into the game.”

After informing the employee of an article accusing Nguyen of using bots to artificially inflate Flappy Bird‘s popularity, the employee then wanted to redouble his efforts on hiring him saying that Nguyen is much more of a genius than he first appeared to be.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

To be fair, the Devil would quit running Hell if EA offered him a job.

 

[Infinitron]

That's from P4RGaming. Angthoron you sly dog.

 

[Spectacle]

I still don't understand why the flappy bird guy took the game down. If he was making that much per day, why not just fuck off to a luxury resort for a couple of months while the whole thing blows over? Death threaths and harrasment be damned, they have resorts for rich people with privacy and extra security.

 

[racofer]

Same thing that must go through the minds of modders that pull their mods from the interwebs.

A bunch of drama queens.

 

[Spectacle]

To be fair, the Devil would quit running Hell if EA offered him a job.

I have no interest in a position at EA, I am quite happy in my current job as CEO of Activision Blizzard

 

[Jick Magger]

Probably can't take the pressure of basically becoming a millionaire overnight by discovering mobile game herion. Hopes that if he just gets rid of it and pretends the whole thing never happened that everything will just go back to normal.

 

[Ninja Destroyer]

“All we wanted to do was turn Flappy Bird into a real money-making machine,” continued the employee, “He clearly has the knowledge on how to make a really addictive smartphone game, but we can do the hard work of adding microtransactions and time sinks. We would also love to include an in-game currency like feathers as well.”

Another DK therapy session?
Good for the guy that he has some principles.
I really don't care about the game, but quotes like this and the clone game are causing my inner awor sense to tingle.

Edit: Angthoron trolling successful.

 

[LundB]

I still don't understand why the flappy bird guy took the game down. If he was making that much per day, why not just fuck off to a luxury resort for a couple of months while the whole thing blows over? Death threaths and harrasment be damned, they have resorts for rich people with privacy and extra security.

He didn't take it down because of the death threats and harassment, those started AFTER he said he was going to take it down.

Apparently he said he was taking it down because he felt that the game was an 'addictive product', and continuing to sell it didn't seem morally sound. He said that he intended it as a timewaster during little minute-long breaks in the day, but he heard stories that made him think it was becoming an unhealthy fixation for too many people.

Considering he got crackhead-style death threats after announcing he was going to take it down, and people were bidding thousands of dollars for phones preloaded with it on ebay, it looks like he wasn't wrong.

Normally I'd say the guy was full of shit, but honestly why else would he take down a game at the height of its popularity, when it was apparently making him tens of thousands every single day?

 

[Baron Dupek]

Streisand effect at the finest.
Why do even care if you live in shithole places like Vietnam.