NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[anus_pounder]

By the way, I didn't mean for my previous post to sound like I'm a fan of Russ. Not after he spent an entire article whining about how Jason Rohrer quoted a negative tweet about his game to promote it.

You can see Rohrer's reply here. Long live the right to quote, indeed.

Holy shit.

 

[felipepepe]

I'm more surprised by the fact that he hated the game yet gave it 5/10...

 

[Zewp]

5/10 is has been considered absolutely abysmal for years now. Everyone knows 8/10 is the new mediocre. Really, you must keep up with the times Felipepepe.

 

[felipepepe]

5/10 is has been considered absolutely abysmal for years now. Everyone knows 8/10 is the new mediocre. Really, you must keep up with the times Felipepepe.

But really, he hates the game, called it very bad as gets in a fight with the developer... but still going bellow 5 is a line not to be crossed?

 

[warpig]

Jason Rohrer forced me to do a thing I do not want to do, twice. The first time by creating a game in which it is literally not possible to be redeemed, and the second time by forcing me to appear to endorse that game against my will.
How I feel now is how I felt playing his game: defeated, bullied and taken advantage of. Whether or not he has intended it, he has carried over the message of his game into my personal dealings with him, and, just as in the playing of The Castle Doctrine, I find the experience mentally exhausting.

I get it, he's butthurt about his quote being used to advertise a game he doesn't like. But the way he writes about it, holy shit! "Bullied" by a game. This is coming from a 30-something grown man XD

 

[Angthoron]

Jason Rohrer forced me to do a thing I do not want to do, twice. The first time by creating a game in which it is literally not possible to be redeemed, and the second time by forcing me to appear to endorse that game against my will.
How I feel now is how I felt playing his game: defeated, bullied and taken advantage of. Whether or not he has intended it, he has carried over the message of his game into my personal dealings with him, and, just as in the playing of The Castle Doctrine, I find the experience menstrually exhausting.

I get it, he's butthurt about his quote being used to advertise a game he doesn't like. But the way he writes about it, holy shit! "Bullied" by a game. This is coming from a 30-something grown man XD

Yeah, sounds more like the exhaustion that'd have a different source. Fixed the quote.

 

[No Great Name]

Jason Rohrer forced me to do a thing I do not want to do, twice. The first time by creating a game in which it is literally not possible to be redeemed, and the second time by forcing me to appear to endorse that game against my will.
How I feel now is how I felt playing his game: defeated, bullied and taken advantage of. Whether or not he has intended it, he has carried over the message of his game into my personal dealings with him, and, just as in the playing of The Castle Doctrine, I find the experience mentally exhausting.

I get it, he's butthurt about his quote being used to advertise a game he doesn't like. But the way he writes about it, holy shit! "Bullied" by a game. This is coming from a 30-something grown man XD

Some people have forgotten how to assert themselves during a situation and at best, can only whine about it after it is already in the past. There is no man to be found here but a child.

 

[Infinitron]

Cliffy B doesn't like focus groups, thinks South Park:TSoT is hard: http://dudehugespeaks.tumblr.com/post/79412555432/coming-out-of-focus

Coming out of Focus

Today I’d like to talk to you about…yes, FOCUS GROUPS.

There was a time when I was at my former employer during the building of the Gears of War franchise that we leaned heavily on Microsoft’s internal testing labs. They had one way mirrors, for fuck’s sake, whole place looked like a police interrogation lab or R Kelly’s Bedroom. They’d bring in local “target demographic” (usually 18-35 year old males) and have them play a work in progress version of the game. We’d then get back an extensive report on what were the problematic areas, suggestions for improvements, and ratings on how fun each area was.

During the time this was useful…to an extent. At the end of the day we ultimately trusted our guts and used that to make a fair call on any given issue raised by focus groups. We shipped the games, usually to much fanfare and a good amount of acclaim and sales, and moved onto the next one. It was only after I’ve had the last year+ to reflect on the experience to realize that focus groups, when not used properly, are fundamentally a flawed way of looking at your game and I’m about to explain why.

Put simply: The party performing the focus group has asked these folks to come in and play the game. They already feel special, like VIPs, almost, entitled. “They want MY opinion? Wow, well then, I must be pretty darned cool!” They then sit down and play the game. Here’s the problem, though.

They don’t really play it.

Before I finish my point, let me fast forward to the present. I’m currently enjoying the hell out of “South Park: The Stick of Truth.” Last night I came to the Alien Spaceship Pilot and Co Pilot boss fight. As of this writing I’ve attempted this boss fight no less than 10 times, each time failing, and two times getting the pilot down to one health before he smites my poor little cartoon ass. I can skip the cutscene where the aliens get up from their chairs faster than you can say Unclefucker. I’ve yelled at the TV, tossed my controller, and generally scared the shit out of our dogs and prompted my wife next to me (who is still slogging through “The Bureau” for some godforsaken reason it’s like some alternate dimension Gears I think I saw fucking Tickers in there) to say “Wow. That looks hard.”

Know what I’m going to do as soon as I finish this blog post? I’m going to go back upstairs to our game room, fire up that damned game, and kick some alien ass. And I’ll tell you what, when I finally take out those two fuckers I’m going to be jumping up and down happily yelling “IN YOUR FACE YOU ASS PROBING MOO MOO MOTHERFUCKERS!” because…

THAT’S WHY WE PLAY VIDEOGAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Disclaimer: Gears will always have a place in my heart, and again, I think Rod and co are going to knock it out of the park.

However, there has been some valid criticism over the last generation of games that they were:

• Too linear
• Too easy
• Too hand holding with tutorials and puzzles

I remember sitting there with designers looking at videos of gamers getting lost in just the simplest of maps. A bare bones map, and they have no idea where to go. So, we’d make things a bit more linear. They can’t figure out how to perform a move? Force a tooltip on them! (no one reads that shit unless it’s on a loading screen anyways.)

The problem wasn’t the game. The problem wasn’t that it was hard or too difficult. The problem was that the folks in the focus group didn’t put down $60 of their OWN HARD EARNED MONEY to BUY THE GAME.

Their hearts aren’t in it. The first sign of something being a little tricky or confusing and they stop and write it down or it’s noted. It’d be as if someone who hadn’t run much in their life suddenly decided to go for a jog and found out it was too hard and was then denied the satisfaction of a completed run.

I get a good amount of shit for free. I didn’t get hooked up with South Park, I had to buy it myself with my own money. Now, I’ve been fortunate enough in my career that I can afford shit I want to buy, which is fucking amazing, but it doesn’t matter - that’s my sixty dollars that I worked hard for and I’m going to milk every bit of fun out of it, anal probes be damned.

People behave differently when they know they’re being watched. And, while data is good to a point, when you play too much to the data the tail winds up wagging the dog and you get watered down mushiness.

(Can you imagine if Dark Souls had gone through this ringer?! It would have been shit. “I died too much!” BOO HOO GO PLAY DANTE’S INFERNO YOU PRICK!)

On a side note, there’s a basic social interaction that comes out of asking someone what they think. If I was sitting at my favorite sandwich shop enjoying a pastrami on rye by myself and no one was watching me you can bet it’d be a far different experience than if someone was sitting across from me in a lab coat with a clipboard asking 500 questions about the sandwich. “How’s the crust?” “Well, normally I love it, but now that you’ve empowered me to act like a fucking expert I can tell you it could afford to be a little crunchier.”

Finally, if you ARE doing this and taking a survey, keep it AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE. Occasionally I’ll get an email from a company that is seeking feedback on something that I use, a service, or a product. And once in a while I go “fuck it” because I don’t have a job right now and I decide to take the survey. If I see it’s more than 10 questions, I say “nope” and go back to Twitter.

I’ll take a well managed and educated gut call over a million focus groups, any day of the week.

 

[FeelTheRads]

Fuck Bliffy C, but fuck focus groups, test players and design by committee even more.

(Can you imagine if Dark Souls had gone through this ringer?! It would have been shit. “I died too much!” BOO HOO GO PLAY DANTE’S INFERNO YOU PRICK!)

Totally agree with the sentiment.

 

[RK47]

 

[Rivmusique]

10 times? The only reason I died so much (3 times I think?) on first playthrough was a refusal to change tactics at all (didn't switch to alien counter hat, kept focusing captain first even though it buffed co-pilot), because I got so close on first attempt and figured 'well if I get these perfect blocks it's sure to die'. And it did. On second playthrough I actually used the counter hat and attacked co-pilot first, cakewalk. Maybe he had my mindset but just can't get the blocks, which I might have pursued endlessly as well (and is fair enough, fuck that one attack that takes like a 20second animation for the block icon to appear, followed up by really quick attack by the other alien). But I don't think that is a really satisfying challenge.

 

[7/10]

Holy shit, I just checked this Tim Rogers guy that was mentioned in the article. He wrote a 54 page review of Bioshock Infinite (yeah, I've checked).

 

[Siel]

 

[anus_pounder]

What if the game sucks? Or does that go under 'offensive'?

 

[Horus]

What if the game sucks? Or does that go under 'offensive'?

It goes under "Fraud".

 

[evdk]

What if the game sucks? Or does that go under 'offensive'?

It goes under "Fraud".

Clearly you have not been on the Internet for too long. It goes under "Hate Speech." Anything you don't like is Hate Speech.

 

[Broseph]

Now HHR will never be able to submit his roguelike about ex-gays.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

Oh my God, the game has boobs and fucking, whatever will we do? Imagine Sengoku Rance on Steam. It would count as all those but Fraud.

 

[evdk]

Now HHR will never be able to submit his roguelike about ex-gays.

He always could submit the ex-gay content later as a DLC.

 

[Pika-Cthulhu]

Does this mean Thiaf can be reported due to peephole nudity/sex scenes?

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Funny, you'd think making sure the games they're selling me is not malware is their job.

 

[Duraframe300]

Cliffy B doesn't like focus groups, thinks South Park:TSoT is hard: http://dudehugespeaks.tumblr.com/post/79412555432/coming-out-of-focus

Coming out of Focus

Today I’d like to talk to you about…yes, FOCUS GROUPS.

There was a time when I was at my former employer during the building of the Gears of War franchise that we leaned heavily on Microsoft’s internal testing labs. They had one way mirrors, for fuck’s sake, whole place looked like a police interrogation lab or R Kelly’s Bedroom. They’d bring in local “target demographic” (usually 18-35 year old males) and have them play a work in progress version of the game. We’d then get back an extensive report on what were the problematic areas, suggestions for improvements, and ratings on how fun each area was.

During the time this was useful…to an extent. At the end of the day we ultimately trusted our guts and used that to make a fair call on any given issue raised by focus groups. We shipped the games, usually to much fanfare and a good amount of acclaim and sales, and moved onto the next one. It was only after I’ve had the last year+ to reflect on the experience to realize that focus groups, when not used properly, are fundamentally a flawed way of looking at your game and I’m about to explain why.

Put simply: The party performing the focus group has asked these folks to come in and play the game. They already feel special, like VIPs, almost, entitled. “They want MY opinion? Wow, well then, I must be pretty darned cool!” They then sit down and play the game. Here’s the problem, though.

They don’t really play it.

Before I finish my point, let me fast forward to the present. I’m currently enjoying the hell out of “South Park: The Stick of Truth.” Last night I came to the Alien Spaceship Pilot and Co Pilot boss fight. As of this writing I’ve attempted this boss fight no less than 10 times, each time failing, and two times getting the pilot down to one health before he smites my poor little cartoon ass. I can skip the cutscene where the aliens get up from their chairs faster than you can say Unclefucker. I’ve yelled at the TV, tossed my controller, and generally scared the shit out of our dogs and prompted my wife next to me (who is still slogging through “The Bureau” for some godforsaken reason it’s like some alternate dimension Gears I think I saw fucking Tickers in there) to say “Wow. That looks hard.”

Know what I’m going to do as soon as I finish this blog post? I’m going to go back upstairs to our game room, fire up that damned game, and kick some alien ass. And I’ll tell you what, when I finally take out those two fuckers I’m going to be jumping up and down happily yelling “IN YOUR FACE YOU ASS PROBING MOO MOO MOTHERFUCKERS!” because…

THAT’S WHY WE PLAY VIDEOGAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Disclaimer: Gears will always have a place in my heart, and again, I think Rod and co are going to knock it out of the park.

However, there has been some valid criticism over the last generation of games that they were:

• Too linear
• Too easy
• Too hand holding with tutorials and puzzles

I remember sitting there with designers looking at videos of gamers getting lost in just the simplest of maps. A bare bones map, and they have no idea where to go. So, we’d make things a bit more linear. They can’t figure out how to perform a move? Force a tooltip on them! (no one reads that shit unless it’s on a loading screen anyways.)

The problem wasn’t the game. The problem wasn’t that it was hard or too difficult. The problem was that the folks in the focus group didn’t put down $60 of their OWN HARD EARNED MONEY to BUY THE GAME.

Their hearts aren’t in it. The first sign of something being a little tricky or confusing and they stop and write it down or it’s noted. It’d be as if someone who hadn’t run much in their life suddenly decided to go for a jog and found out it was too hard and was then denied the satisfaction of a completed run.

I get a good amount of shit for free. I didn’t get hooked up with South Park, I had to buy it myself with my own money. Now, I’ve been fortunate enough in my career that I can afford shit I want to buy, which is fucking amazing, but it doesn’t matter - that’s my sixty dollars that I worked hard for and I’m going to milk every bit of fun out of it, anal probes be damned.

People behave differently when they know they’re being watched. And, while data is good to a point, when you play too much to the data the tail winds up wagging the dog and you get watered down mushiness.

(Can you imagine if Dark Souls had gone through this ringer?! It would have been shit. “I died too much!” BOO HOO GO PLAY DANTE’S INFERNO YOU PRICK!)

On a side note, there’s a basic social interaction that comes out of asking someone what they think. If I was sitting at my favorite sandwich shop enjoying a pastrami on rye by myself and no one was watching me you can bet it’d be a far different experience than if someone was sitting across from me in a lab coat with a clipboard asking 500 questions about the sandwich. “How’s the crust?” “Well, normally I love it, but now that you’ve empowered me to act like a fucking expert I can tell you it could afford to be a little crunchier.”

Finally, if you ARE doing this and taking a survey, keep it AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE. Occasionally I’ll get an email from a company that is seeking feedback on something that I use, a service, or a product. And once in a while I go “fuck it” because I don’t have a job right now and I decide to take the survey. If I see it’s more than 10 questions, I say “nope” and go back to Twitter.

I’ll take a well managed and educated gut call over a million focus groups, any day of the week.

Wonder how much trouble Cliffy would have had if everything in the game wasn't watered down.

 

[DraQ]

Cliffy B doesn't like focus groups, thinks South Park:TSoT is hard: http://dudehugespeaks.tumblr.com/post/79412555432/coming-out-of-focus

Coming out of Focus

Today I’d like to talk to you about…yes, FOCUS GROUPS.

There was a time when I was at my former employer during the building of the Gears of War franchise that we leaned heavily on Microsoft’s internal testing labs. They had one way mirrors, for fuck’s sake, whole place looked like a police interrogation lab or R Kelly’s Bedroom. They’d bring in local “target demographic” (usually 18-35 year old males) and have them play a work in progress version of the game. We’d then get back an extensive report on what were the problematic areas, suggestions for improvements, and ratings on how fun each area was.

During the time this was useful…to an extent. At the end of the day we ultimately trusted our guts and used that to make a fair call on any given issue raised by focus groups. We shipped the games, usually to much fanfare and a good amount of acclaim and sales, and moved onto the next one. It was only after I’ve had the last year+ to reflect on the experience to realize that focus groups, when not used properly, are fundamentally a flawed way of looking at your game and I’m about to explain why.

Put simply: The party performing the focus group has asked these folks to come in and play the game. They already feel special, like VIPs, almost, entitled. “They want MY opinion? Wow, well then, I must be pretty darned cool!” They then sit down and play the game. Here’s the problem, though.

They don’t really play it.

Before I finish my point, let me fast forward to the present. I’m currently enjoying the hell out of “South Park: The Stick of Truth.” Last night I came to the Alien Spaceship Pilot and Co Pilot boss fight. As of this writing I’ve attempted this boss fight no less than 10 times, each time failing, and two times getting the pilot down to one health before he smites my poor little cartoon ass. I can skip the cutscene where the aliens get up from their chairs faster than you can say Unclefucker. I’ve yelled at the TV, tossed my controller, and generally scared the shit out of our dogs and prompted my wife next to me (who is still slogging through “The Bureau” for some godforsaken reason it’s like some alternate dimension Gears I think I saw fucking Tickers in there) to say “Wow. That looks hard.”

Know what I’m going to do as soon as I finish this blog post? I’m going to go back upstairs to our game room, fire up that damned game, and kick some alien ass. And I’ll tell you what, when I finally take out those two fuckers I’m going to be jumping up and down happily yelling “IN YOUR FACE YOU ASS PROBING MOO MOO MOTHERFUCKERS!” because…

THAT’S WHY WE PLAY VIDEOGAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Disclaimer: Gears will always have a place in my heart, and again, I think Rod and co are going to knock it out of the park.

However, there has been some valid criticism over the last generation of games that they were:

• Too linear
• Too easy
• Too hand holding with tutorials and puzzles

I remember sitting there with designers looking at videos of gamers getting lost in just the simplest of maps. A bare bones map, and they have no idea where to go. So, we’d make things a bit more linear. They can’t figure out how to perform a move? Force a tooltip on them! (no one reads that shit unless it’s on a loading screen anyways.)

The problem wasn’t the game. The problem wasn’t that it was hard or too difficult. The problem was that the folks in the focus group didn’t put down $60 of their OWN HARD EARNED MONEY to BUY THE GAME.

Their hearts aren’t in it. The first sign of something being a little tricky or confusing and they stop and write it down or it’s noted. It’d be as if someone who hadn’t run much in their life suddenly decided to go for a jog and found out it was too hard and was then denied the satisfaction of a completed run.

I get a good amount of shit for free. I didn’t get hooked up with South Park, I had to buy it myself with my own money. Now, I’ve been fortunate enough in my career that I can afford shit I want to buy, which is fucking amazing, but it doesn’t matter - that’s my sixty dollars that I worked hard for and I’m going to milk every bit of fun out of it, anal probes be damned.

People behave differently when they know they’re being watched. And, while data is good to a point, when you play too much to the data the tail winds up wagging the dog and you get watered down mushiness.

(Can you imagine if Dark Souls had gone through this ringer?! It would have been shit. “I died too much!” BOO HOO GO PLAY DANTE’S INFERNO YOU PRICK!)

On a side note, there’s a basic social interaction that comes out of asking someone what they think. If I was sitting at my favorite sandwich shop enjoying a pastrami on rye by myself and no one was watching me you can bet it’d be a far different experience than if someone was sitting across from me in a lab coat with a clipboard asking 500 questions about the sandwich. “How’s the crust?” “Well, normally I love it, but now that you’ve empowered me to act like a fucking expert I can tell you it could afford to be a little crunchier.”

Finally, if you ARE doing this and taking a survey, keep it AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE. Occasionally I’ll get an email from a company that is seeking feedback on something that I use, a service, or a product. And once in a while I go “fuck it” because I don’t have a job right now and I decide to take the survey. If I see it’s more than 10 questions, I say “nope” and go back to Twitter.

I’ll take a well managed and educated gut call over a million focus groups, any day of the week.

Ok, that's creepy.

Not that I don't appreciate that, but Cliffy B?

Spoiler

 

[dnf]

Too little too late. According to Icycalm, Gears of War is the manliest game ever made

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWZLa4AnN5k

 

[Night Goat]

Gears of War: so manly, it's actually kind of gay.