JarlFrank
I like Thief THIS much
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Heyyyy that's made by that one super obscure RPG developer I dug up some months ago in the obscure RPGs thread over in GRPG!
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Ninja Destroyer
Awesome video! It's really weird to see how closely the actors/actresses match the actual ingame sprites in MK3, I had assumed they had added a lot of the costumes etc post production (was especially shocked that Jax's cyber arms are just paint haha).
Google has hidden a text adventure game in Chrome
A secret text adventure game has been discovered in the source code of Google Chrome.
A Redditor found the easter egg by typing "text adventure" into google.com and opening Chrome's javascript console. Beneath a warning reminding users never to manually copy and paste anything nefarious into the code, the console asks: "Would you like to play a game? (yes/no)".
While not exactly complex, the story - which is a mission to locate the missing letters of the Google logo by way of simple text directions - requires you to navigate by way of a series of directional instructions, plus the actions "grab", "inventory", and "use". You can also ask "why", and bring up all commands available to you via "help".
The secret game is reportedly only unlockable on the .com domain
Right now it's not clear how long the game's been available for, but it would appear u/attempt_number_1 is the first person to report the finding, and according to u/jeremyhoffman, the locations depicted in the game seem to correspond to "Google Mountain View buildings 45/47 on Charleston Road", giving rise to the theory that the programmer works from the Charleston campus.
To play yourself, open Google Chrome, and search for the term "text adventure". On the front landing page, type Ctrl+Shift+I - or CMD+option+I if you're using a Mac - and you'll find the game in the console. Just make sure you're using google.com; right now, it doesn't seem to be available on any of Google's local pages like co.uk.
The real problem with this Bowsette porn parody is its flagrant disregard for Mario lore
Super Mario Car? Come on, you’re not even trying...
Have you heard of "Bowsette" yet? If you’ve spent any time on the internet in the last week - and hey, you’re here - then you’ll likely know that she's a Mario fandom-spawned phenomenon: a humanized, genderswapped Bowser with Princess Peach's hairstyle, often drawn in lewd or sexualized context. And were this any other day, maybe that's where this conversation would end. But this isn't any other today. Because today, porn studio Wood Rocket has released "Wetter Than A Water Level: The Bowsette Porn Parody".
Yup.
[NSFW WARNING: while I'll be keeping this post clean, we are nonetheless talking about pornography here, a decidedly NSFW topic in most workplaces. Please don't get in trouble by reading this article when and where you shouldn't. Okay? Let's continue.]
The meme started as a relatively innocent comic drawn by Twitter user Ayyk92, a sort of twist on the idea of making an ex jealous. It played on the idea that the Super Crown (an item being introduced in Super Mario Bros. U for Nintendo Switch) could transform Toadette into a Peach-looking being known as Peachette. Hence, why wouldn't it do the same for Bowser?
View image on Twitter
Since then, the character has been reblogged, retweeted, and remixed in a variety of ways, but perhaps the ultimate validation of Bowsette's status as a viral phenomenon is that there is now a live-action porn parody starring the character.
Now, I'm not going to judge your adult film-watching habits. You do you. What I do take issue with are the imprecise depictions of the wider Mario universe in this movie. If you'll permit me, I have a few inaccuracies and inconsistencies I'd like to point out, in the hopes that future pornography may raise the bar on both authenticity and quality. After all, if you must do this, at least do it right.
Toad's head is not a hat
Maybe I'm just being pedantic here and giving the Bowsette porn parody grief for not having better costumes, but this Toad is clearly wearing a hat and Super Mario Odyssey producer Yoshiaki Koizumi has stated that Toad's mushroom cap is in fact his actual noggin. That's strike one, Bowsette porn parody!
Inaccurate portrayal of plumber's tools
There are many tools Mario might need as a plumber. What he shouldn't need is a carpenter saw, which we see hanging on the wall next to various other hand tools. That's for cutting wood! Did no one on this production even think to contact an actual plumber?
Mario's coins are too flat
Mario coins have a distinguishing rim around the outside and indentation down the middle. Why, these look practically as though they were simply lightly spray painted sheet wood cutouts! For shame.
The Super Crown is the wrong color
The Super Crown is gold, with a pink-and-white mushroom popping out the top, almost like a little muffin. It has vertical slits for eyes, befitting the Mario style. But the Bowsette porn parody's Super Crown is red, lacks any white spots, and the eyes are just sad little marker spots. Tsk, tsk.
It's Mario *Kart,* not Mario Car
Mario doesn't drive a sports car, you degenerates! He drives a kart! What, you couldn't afford to build a functional go-kart with spinning turtle shells on your porn parody budget? Gawd! (I do like the fact that the car's number is 69, though. Nice touch.)
Bowsette doesn't have a jewel in her chest
Bowsette's design is meant to be derivative of Peach. Peach wears a jewel brooch, so Bowsette has a jewel brooch. But those are just decorations pinned to their clothing, they're not an actual part of their bodies. Come on Bowsette porn parody, it's like you're just cashing in on a fad while not paying attention to the details!
That "boner pill" would kill Bowsette
About 7 minutes into the porn parody, Mario takes a "Super Mario Boner Pill," which is not a pill at all, but rather a Super Star, aka the Invincibility Star. Touching any creature while under its effects will cause an instant KO, so really this whole scenario is just absurd. Way to ignore simple logic that everyoneknows!
Not a single plumbing joke
This is supposed to be a parody, and Mario doesn't make a single joke related to his profession as a plumber. Not one "I'm here to look at your pipes ma'am" or a simple "well there's your problem" innuendo. Besides the missed opportunity for humor, this could've filled some significant plot holes - after all, where does Mario get his money? You ever think of that, Bowsette porn parody? Hmmm?!
Overall I have to say I'm very disappointed in this pornographic rendition of an internet meme. It feels slapped together and kind of last-minute. Everyone knows that plot and set design are the most important features in an adult film production, and the Bowsette porn parody falls flat on both accounts. I will, however, give it props for having a watercooler full of Fireball (get it?). Now that's good writing.
The Definitive Morrowind Mod Installation Order
1. Install the game
2. Install the Better Bodies mod
3. Install the Worse Bodies mod
4. Install the Unofficial Patch, which fixes a total of three bugs and adds hundreds of erotic books to the game
5. Manually delete the entire game directory
6. Repeat steps 1-3 then move to step 7, being careful not to repeat step 6
7. Install the Cleaner Faces mod for maximum cleanliness, which has the small side effect of turning every character and creature into a whiter Angelina Jolie
8. Install the Morrowind Script Extender. This makes it possible for the game engine to do things that were previously not possible. For instance, rendering the entire game upside down
9. Install the Rightside Up mod, which reverses the changes made in the Morrowind Script Extender to make the game appear normal again
10. Install the Deader Eyes mod to ensure that no characters in your adventure exude even the dimmest light of vitality
11. Install the Large Memory Patch, which makes the game aware of the fact that your modern computer has much more memory than was available in a typical PC back when Morrowind launched in 2002. The game will not use any of this additional memory, but it will be aware that it exists
12. Install the Face Textures For Terrain mod, replacing all boring ground textures with faces
13. Install the Cleaner Terrain Face Textures mod
14. Install the Realistic Weapons Pack, which adds more than 300 photorealistic weapons to the game, all scanned from actual commemorative blades featured on QVC
15. Run the Morrowind Mod Manager to ensure that all your mods load in the correct order (every third mod first, then the rest in reverse alphabetical order sorted by cleanliness of faces)
16. Install the Enhanced Combat Overhaul, an exhaustive retooling of the game's combat system that replaces all attacks with Three Stooges eye pokes, complete with the accompanying "doink!" sound effect
17. Install Even Better Bodies
18. Install Far Worse Bodies
19. Install Skippy's Overhauled Lighting and Weather mod, which makes everything way darker, replaces the skybox with an HD scan of the Milky Way, and adds slave woman companions to every inn
20. Install the Professional Typographer's Font Replacement mod, swapping the default font with Halloween-themed dingbats
21. Install the Run Speed Fix mod. This adjusts the game's painful default movement speed, slowing it down by 15%
22. Reinstall the original Better Bodies mod to counteract the Far Worse Bodies mod, making all bodies an ideal 80% worse rather than 100% worse
23. Run the game to make sure everything works. As you hide on top of the lighthouse waiting for that dude to sneak towards his stash in the swamp, think about what you're doing and how much time you've invested up to this point
24. Uninstall the game
25. Drag and drop the contents of the Worse Bodies mod to your desktop
Subway... We all know this place and use it every day, but what happened with human, who stay in subway... on the all night? Answer in this game.
Small indie-horror with attraction of fear.
Features:
- Atmospheric locations
- The oppressive atmosphere of the metro
- Unexpected events that will not let you get bored
- Try to reach the end alive
I never liked Retro Gamer... they have some cool articles & interviews, but the editorial line is so close-minded...
Seriously, 178 issues and the only cover about CRPGs is Diablo. Even Kotaku talks more about older CRPGs than they do.