NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

http://www.swtor.com/community/showthread.php?t=162569
May be old but I can't be arsed to read through all your bs!!

 

"High res" textures still look like shit. I'm not sure why anyone would care.

 

Because it's nextgen.

 

Obvious troll, Wyrmlord.

 

https://twitter.com/SkyrimMom


Skyrim Mom
@SkyrimMom
My 65-year-old mom is playing Skyrim. This is what she tells me.




SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

On fast travel: "I had to warp -- that's probably not the term in this game is it? -- anyway, I just warped over to River-town."
7 hours ago


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"Dad just came upstairs and asked, 'What are you killing now?' But I was trying to play the game so I wasn't even looking at him."
8 hours ago


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"I got stuck so I said, 'I'll see how the New Hampshire primary is going.' Then I thought, 'Maybe I'll spend this election with the PS3.'"
13 hours ago


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

On meeting strangers: "I generally wait and make everything daylight because it's safer. I don't know who these guys are."
14 hours ago


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"But by the time I equipped the lavender I'd be dead on the ground, so."
17 hours ago


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"I keep collecting lavender. I thought, 'Well, lavender has a very calming effect, maybe I can use the lavender on somebody.'"
17 hours ago


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"I can cook? Where do I cook? In some guy's house?"
21 hours ago


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

Roles reversed: "I made it to Whiterun, but then dad decided to make popcorn and I couldn't hear the guy giving me a mission. I was so mad!"
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"I have to level up my skills on the controller. If I can level up the controller, then I can level up myself."
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"What were you struggling with?" "Well at one point I had to pause to look at a guide, and then I thought, 'I don't know how to pause.'"
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"I died so I went back to the same house and did it again as a nice person."
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"I took on some woman in a house. I stole all her food and she pulled a knife on me and I killed her. Is stealing part of the goal?"
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"I was in a house and there was all this stuff, and it kept saying 'take it, steal it, steal it.' Am I supposed to be stealing things?"
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"I like the way I can walk around and pick up thistles. All I'm doing is picking locks and thistles."
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

I laughed so hard. I was just killing everyone."
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

And then I heard the funniest thing: 'Well what the hell are you shootin' at me for, you're supposed to be killin' them! Quit shootin' me!'
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

It was all dark and everyone was hiding behind boulders, and I didn't want to die again, so I just kept shooting and shooting and shooting.
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"It reminded me of Red Dead, when I went out with a bunch of cowboys one night to this gully to kill a bunch of bad guys.
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"Who is skilled enough to know castle language?"
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"These guys were yelling at me 'get to the Keep, get to the Keep!' I didn't know the symbols yet and I felt so stupid."
10 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

When my mom made this spoon rest in pottery class, another mom confessed to her: "I played the hell out of Fallout 3." pic.twitter.com/QAtT1KBN
9 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"I thought the beginning part after the chopping block was timed like Super Metroid."
9 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

"It took me like an hour to create my character. I couldn't decide between Macho or Girl."
9 Jan


SkyrimMom Skyrim Mom

My mom started playing Skyrim last night. Her first comment: "I think I need Todd Howard sitting on the end of my couch."
9 Jan

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I should've mentioned that it's some Bethesda employee's mom, so you can bet that Toddy's taking notes on how to fix Skyrim's accessibility issues.

 

Yeah, somewhere where there aren't any fans, therefore no one that would give a shit about your criticism.

"What the heck was that?"

"That, mom...was popamole."

"Popamole? Can I make tea with it?"

 

He already said he was embarrassed by what the codex had become, and that it was no longer the site he had co-founded. To what further depths could he sink?

 

The sad thing is, I recognize many of those commentators - either from kotaku or the border house iirc.

 

Ian Miles Cheong - Perhaps it could be something procedural, with characters not defined by their biology—"male" or "female"—but rather by their interests in other characters. How we react (internally) to the world and environment around is a reflection of who we are, perhaps.

 

Excellent idea! Let's make a game where you are an amorphous blob and your choices slowly create a unique biology for you!

 

Mattie Brice - +Ian Miles Cheong It would be interesting to have a game like that, because you'd have to go through at least some sort of preliminary phase (or maybe nothing at all) for the game to know how to adapt to you. Obviously we'd need need to separate two things: how others see you and how you see yourself. I may identify whatever I want, but if someone sees a hot mess of gender confusion, they aren't going to act towards me like how I identify (and believe me, I've been in the position).

The awesome this could do would really tie in ludic-ly and technologically; one reason to play video games over board games is because the computer has the ability to adapt and react to the player. Instead of assigning the player a sexuality, they merely have their impulses measured. You never seem to pick the paths to sex, then let the NPCs adapt to that. No one will assume your sexuality and allow your actions to speak for themselves.

I am to make some fusion of a dating sim eventually, and I want NPCs who try out different sexualities and come to terms with it. But I also think this allows the player to actually play. To be themselves and at the same time try out something else that's unfamiliar to them.

 

Sweet find Infinitron. My herp-a-derp gauge got full before getting half way through. "If I can do it in RPGMaker, Bioware should be able to..."
"I felt weird playing XYZ game because it did not allow me to play as a lesbian polyamorous female character..."

 

What's wrong, hoopy?

 

I think he just wants to...



...flip-flop.

 

Kinda-sorta talking about games after watching Let's Plays isn't the same thing as playing them.

I wish I could undermine the ground under your feet. With mines.

There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

A glimpse into the future:
In 2052 America has established the GLAAD Corps of Enqueerineers. Their job is to analyze buildings and infrastructure to determine if they're compliant with feminism. For example, skyscrapers are a no-no because they're phallic symbols. They're dismantled with 747s (pilots provided by CAIR free of charge). Bridges that weren't built by gays and women and non-whites are blown up under the Inclusion Act of 2044. Let's also not forget the problematic implications of tunnels.

Unfortunately the Corps is not able to replace these structures with new ones because engineering has been outlawed as repressive (it discriminates against women by being uninteresting to them, and has too much emphasis on rigid and unflexible Western male thinking like "This thing is going to fucking collapse if you fuck up the calculations"), and nobody is intelligent enough to practise it anyway. The Presidentess (elected through a reality television show) tries to ask the Chinese for help, but they aren't interested in third world countries and are too busy with their Mars colony anyway.

And there's no beastiality or pedophilia either. And what if I want an orgy or to fuck a robot? Shit, at least New Vegas lets me fuck a robot. GOTY right there. Obsidian knows what's up.

Yes, it's surprising that video games don't account for every imaginable orientation and fetish and lifestyle choice, even if they aren't dating sims. You'd really think the Mario series would let you fuck Luigi in the ass by now. This is 2012, not the 1950s or whenever the NES was made. Your grandpa (that fucking misogynist prick) may have been fine with the technical limitations of Super Mario Bros., but today's gamers expect more.

When men talk about liberty, they mean things like liberating Nazi concentration camps, or the Statue of Liberty and what it represents. When (feminist) women talk about liberty, they mean slutting it up. But only when men aren't looking, because the male gaze robs them of their liberty (probably because it makes them feel ashamed). A woman is most liberated when she's locked away in her home, prancing around in her underwear when nobody is looking. Hey, wait a minute... now I think I understand why feminists don't get agitated over the conditions of Muslim women. They were liberated all along!

"Problematic" is codeword for "I am spewing shit from my mouth, please ignore me."

I was taking a step back from the conversation to acknowledge my male privilege and educate myself on Feminism 101.

 

Discussions like those sometimes push me towards believing eugenics is not such a terrible thing. If these pseudo intellectuals had their way we'd all be looking like Marilyn Manson from the Mechanical Animals cover.

BioWare presents Social Awareness Sensitivity Trainer Age Origins

 

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-modern-gaming-doesnt-suck-anti-rant/

 

This is probably one of those guys who grew up playing only console games and is only familiar with PC games released during the past decade, if even that.

I think writing used to be better because it was done by more well-rounded people who had frames of reference other than video games, comics, fantasy novels, bad anime and even worse pop culture. Roberta Williams also had this to say on the subject:

Ahahahaha he has no idea that "indie" games have existed since the very beginning of computer games. Because he's only played console games and hasn't bothered to find out about anything else. Great research you did for this article, guy.

You're supposed to use past tense in this sentence.