NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Oriebam]

Not exactly BTE material and probably a repost:

http://www.x360magazine.com/opinion/deu ... s-and-10s/

 

[RK47]

A quickie that made me chuckle:

http://planetelderscrolls.gamespy.com/V ... il&id=1095

OFF TOPIC

HEY IRONWOLF56, GET YOUR OWN NAME RATHER THAN MINE WITH A 56 ON THE END!

When you signed up it told you the name was taken. Rather than properly choose a new one you just put two numbers on the end.

That's about as low as I have ever seen.

grow up n00b, he can name himself however he wants

There's no 47? Is there? Am I...defective?

 

[circ]

http://fadetoshadesofgrey.deviantart.com/art/Dragonborn-267864012?q=sort%3Atime%20skyrim&qo=27

My Skyrim tattoo. Yes it is real and yes it really, really hurt.

I cannot wait to lose myself to this game. I am Dovahkiin. I am Dragonborn.

I WOULD HIT THAT SO HARD MY DICK WOULD FALL OFF. SHE COULD PLAY SKYRIM AND I WOULD EAT HER OUT AND SHE COULD MOAN DOVAHKIIN. AND MAYBE I WOULD GIVE HER A RIMJOB TOO.

OH MAN.

 

[Coyote]

A transcript of a podcast the Border House did a while back. 47 minutes, over 8000 words, and 98 percent of it is about Bioware romances. :dizzy:

(I'll leave the rest for my bro sgc_meltdown to sift through if he wants, but a cursory glance at that deviantart account reveals Dragon Age cosplay, some "sexy" fanart, and, well, this.)

RAWLES: I completely–oh my–Jack is so frustrating to me because she will talk to you, like you said, she will talk to you about having been with women before, and she will just discuss all of these things with you, and just everything about the character is just right there, and then yeah, the wall just slams down. And I found it so–like, as a queer woman, I don’t–okay–I don’t play as a male Shep. I don’t like to play as a dude in games, it’s just not something I do because it’s very important to me, when I have the option to create my own character, to make a character who is, you know, like me, or just not the sort of default white guy. Because there are so many narratives and so many stories where everything revolves around this sort of white guy, and if I get the opportunity to instead make the entire universe revolve around the most important person in the world be a black woman, or you know an Asian woman, or a mixed-race woman or something you know, I’m going to do it. And so the complete like lack of ability, especially in Mass Effect 2, with all of these various female characters who seemed really interested in you, but then the door slams down. It’s just really frustrating, playing a female character, not to be able to follow up on that. It was just awful, and it was so–it was also really just contrived, because there was really no reason they needed to stop it there.

MATTIE: Yeah, also something that was interesting for me was, I guess, kind of an underlying concept of this entire topic is being forced into let’s say a monogamous relationship. Like for me personally, I wanted to explore like polyamory, or let’s say not rigid monogamous relationships. And I remember specifically, I was playing through the first game and there came a point where, to be honest I was flirting with both Kaiden and Liara, and eventually I was confronted about this. And I really didn’t feel like there was cheating going on, we were just talking, you know! So what was interesting was there was an option that kind of insinuates “oh, well let’s just like make something work out that’s not very traditional”? And instead the voice acting implication was like “I just don’t want to be committed, can’t I sleep with you both?” And I was like, that’s really not progressive whatsoever.

RAWLES: Now, I spend more time than is advisable probably wandering around the BioWare social network forum. And there is this sort of bogeyman, whenever someone talks about romance in the games, including same-sex romance, and the bogeyman they talk about is Dragon Age 2, where all of the romanceable characters were available to both genders. And to me, that should be the standard going forward. Like, I don’t see any reason to do anything but that ever again. I don’t–I don’t, like–unless you’re actually going to go and make all the characters have distinctive, assigned sexual preferences, and just include people who are same-sexual-relationships-only, which they have said specifically they will never do, then everybody should definitely be available for both genders, there’s no reason not to.

 

[MetalCraze]

I am absolutely willing to pay $60-90 every year for a game that gives me over 400 hours of immense satisfaction.
And yes, I think having a new 6 hour campaign, 15 new maps, new perks, guns, balance changes, etc. completely justifies paying another $60.

And this, kids, is why multimillion marketing is important.
More hype - more fun.

 

[Peter]

Not exactly BTE material and probably a repost:

http://www.x360magazine.com/opinion/deu ... s-and-10s/

Great opinion piece. The truth always hurts, particularly when it comes to gamers who are usually blindly loyal to a particular system and game series/style/genre. One thing’s for sure – forget all these over hyped dumbed down hybrid sequels trying to appeal to the masses and get The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim if you want one of the best gaming experiences you’ll ever have.

 

[sgc_meltdown]

I've also seen a mentally retarded kid having the time of his life eating his own snot

that reminds me of a classic tale told on SA by the IT tech guy of a special ed facility

Ah fuck it, I need a drink, I have had a cold and have been intolerably thirsty. So off I go, DOWN THE HALL. It was quiet, as most of the "special people" have left, only a few stragglers who rode the REALLY SPECIAL bus, you know the REALLY REALLY special people.- WARNING SIGN 1.

It was quiet, except for what was undoubtedly a "special persons" voice, muttering SSSSSSSSNICKEEEHHHRRRSS BBAAAHHHHHHH SSSSSSSSNICKEEEHHHRRRSS BBAAAHHHHHHH over and over.- WARNING SIGN 2.

okay, stay cool, just a "special person" nothing to wig out over, nothing to get all ben......WWHAT IN THE GODDAMN FUCKING HELL@!~#@$!$#!~13

There was an older male, age around 40ish, with his pants down, a half eaten snickers bar melting in his half agape mouth, as he gummed it, snickers bar bits rolled down his mouth dropping freely to his....

FULLY ERECT COVERED IN CHOCOLATE SPECIAL PENIS -RED ALERT RED ALERT WE ARE UNDER ATTACK

He was apparently VERY VERY happy to be eating a snickers bar and was using the melted chocolate as a lubricant, and one hand fumbled his erect chocolatey nougat covered member while the other twisted restlessly in his hair, chocolate was everywhere, and I about faced and sprinted out of the vending area.

As I ran away a "wrangler", I nearly knocked down, asked what was wrong, I told them to "CHECK OUT THE VENDING AREA" ( I wanted to say GO FUCKING FIX THAT GODDAMN FUCK IN THERE WACKING OFF WITH A GODDAMN SNICKERS BAR, but alas) without looking back I fumbled with my keys to open my door, opened the door, ran in my office, slammed the door, and laid in the fetal position in the floor and started crying.

I DO NOT EVER WANT TO SEE A SNICKERS BAR EVER AGAIN.

No drink was worth that, not by a goddaamn long shot. I think I can get some kind of fucking workers comp for the trauma I have suffered.

if we all had magical moments like that nobody would need disneyland

SHE COULD PLAY SKYRIM AND I WOULD EAT HER OUT AND SHE COULD MOAN DOVAHKIIN. AND MAYBE I WOULD GIVE HER A RIMJOB TOO.

OH MAN.

http://fadetoshadesofgrey.deviantart.co ... 68087&qo=0
http://fadetoshadesofgrey.deviantart.co ... 8087&qo=41

http://borderhouseblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/da2___to_tame_the_dragoness_by_aimo-d3a03g7.jpg

looking good there david tennant

jesus christ an actual cosplay of hawke's dipshit brother

and finally, the current status of fallout fandom:

very post apocalyptic.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FCBcOdYRPM
Capcom now selling god mode and infinite weapon durability for Dead Rising 2 OTR as DLC


http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2011/11 ... -effect-3/
on Mass Effect 3 being split into Action, RPG and Story play modes.

You can’t make a game to please all audiences. Some people want a story and some want a good fighting game, they are separate and they don’t buy the same games.

If Bioware does not think it has a good mix of elements that appeals to a wide audience then this little selection isn’t going to make the game any more enjoyable. How about Bioware just focuses on making the best Mass Effect game it can rather than failing badly to appeal to everyone?!

Difficulty selections are not new. Choosing play styles like ranged or melee, strong or clever, magic or tech are not new.

What on earth are you talking about?

Yes. Choosing story mode means I am choosing the story strategy. Mass Effect 3 will be 3 times as replayable. Also: Wizardry gets fanhandled in comments.

bros I think Arma 3 should be divided into Simulation, Arcade and Cinematic


http://www.wired.com/gamelife/2011/11/s ... te-quests/

Skyrim director Todd Howard told Wired.com in a phone interview Monday that the game will feature a never-ending stream of procedurally generated content, giving players an infinite number of things to do.

“The vibe of the game is that it’s something that you can play forever,” Howard said.

The game’s Radiant quest system randomly generates new tasks based on your progress in the game. An innkeeper might ask you to hunt for bandits in a place you haven’t found yet, or an aspiring alchemist could request that you collect 10 undiscovered flowers for his work. Howard claims that the options are endless.

In addition to these minor tasks, Howard says you’ll be able to do extra work for each of the game’s factions, like the Dark Brotherhood and the Thieves Guild. Once you complete the scripted quest lines for each group, you can go to their respective hubs and pick up randomly generated missions to steal gems or assassinate shopkeepers across Skyrim’s massive world.

Though some players might not love the idea of endlessly collecting groups of random ingredients, Howard says that Radiant quests play into one of the game’s major strengths: environmental storytelling. Skyrim’s world is sprinkled with secrets and minor bits of narrative that you’ll have to piece together as you explore, an aspect of game design that Howard says the team picked up while working on their last game, Fallout 3.

“With Fallout, it’s not as beautiful a world to everybody,” he said. “We had to find ways to make exploration of [a destroyed wasteland] interesting.”

For Skyrim, Howard says that Bethesda has learned a few new tricks and gotten better at the old ones. The most enjoyable part of the Radiant system won’t be completing quests, he says, it’ll be the things you discover along the way: bandit-infested fortresses, or a terrifying lighthouse.

“The world is probably the one thing that sets [Skyrim] apart from other games,” he said. “It feels really real for what it is … It’s just fun to explore.”

IT'S REAL FOR WHAT IT IS

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Not exactly BTE material and probably a repost:

http://www.x360magazine.com/opinion/deu ... s-and-10s/

Great opinion piece. The truth always hurts, particularly when it comes to gamers who are usually blindly loyal to a particular system and game series/style/genre. One thing’s for sure – forget all these over hyped dumbed down hybrid sequels trying to appeal to the masses and get The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim if you want one of the best gaming experiences you’ll ever have.

I can't even imagine what this guy considers "blindly loyal".

 

[sgc_meltdown]

I can't even imagine what this guy considers "blindly loyal".

probably something fantastic like a superman fan refusing to admit that superman 64 was not the best console game

that game's shittiness is harder to refute than the non-flatness of planet earth

 

[hoopy]

A transcript of a podcast the Border House did a while back. 47 minutes, over 8000 words, and 98 percent of it is about Bioware romances. :dizzy:

Our goal is to promote diversity in the gaming community.

...Dragon Age 2, where all of the romanceable characters were available to both genders. And to me, that should be the standard going forward. Like, I don’t see any reason to do anything but that ever again.

It was pretty awesome when they–when they announced that all the, the romance interests in DA2, they were all bi. Or… yeah. They’re all–they’re available to both genders, and, yeah, that should definitely be the standard going forward.

Nothing says "diversity" like getting rid of heterosexuality.

The Border House is such a goldmine of stupidity and insanity that it could easily have a dedicated thread.

 

[Sacculina]

I can't even imagine what this guy considers "blindly loyal".

probably something fantastic like a superman fan refusing to admit that superman 64 was not the best console game

that game's shittiness is harder to refute than the non-flatness of planet earth

The website of the International Flat Earth Society
Their 'thriving' forums
The Society's library, including newsletters dating back to 1976
The Flat Earth Society wiki

The truth will never eradicate resolute idiocy.

 

[hoopy]

http://kotaku.com/5857878/the-problem-w ... ideo-games

As I said in comments posted to Kotaku on Monday, military-themed video games simplify, glamorize and fetishize global conflict. The narrative possibilities offered players are exclusively militaristic and indiscriminately destructive.

You don't say.

Furthermore, video games are not movies or television. We play video games because they offer us opportunities to engage with media and each other in more active ways than film or television.

I thought we played them because oh fuck it

I have a question: is there even one woman writing about video games who isn't a complete tool? Ok, correction: they're not really writing about video games, but rather using them as a platform to talk about whatever social issues concern them. At least this one isn't about feminism.

A comment:

jesus. i respect your opinion as a person but i am really getting tired of hearing from female gamers. most of them just wax philsopicly about what i think is bull shit. they are for the most part trying to inject emotion and deeper meanings into somthing that is primarily a form of entertainment.

my girlfriend was ten times more excited for MW3 than i was and she enjoys it for what it is. shit blowing up and shooting guys in the face. it's not a real life opera played on the world stage. i honestly hate to single out female gamers but whichever site i go to there allways seems to be one hanging around trying to examine the emotional or psych nature of video games. its a fine conversation to have but it only serves to make women look like "girls" when they are usually the only ones talking about it.

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

Disgusting.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

I can't even imagine what this guy considers "blindly loyal".

probably something fantastic like a superman fan refusing to admit that superman 64 was not the best console game

that game's shittiness is harder to refute than the non-flatness of planet earth

The website of the International Flat Earth Society
Their 'thriving' forums
The Society's library, including newsletters dating back to 1976
The Flat Earth Society wiki

The truth will never eradicate resolute idiocy.

But mang, there no way, NO WAY, anyone could try to claim Superman 64 isn't total shit. There's being a delusional retard, and there's literally having no brain.

 

[Sacculina]

But mang, there no way, NO WAY, anyone could try to claim Superman 64 isn't total shit. There's being a delusional retard, and there's literally having no brain.

Humans, mang--if you think they can't get worse, they'll find a way. For example, the following shows that apparently it is possible to reconcile candour with blind loyalty:

I'm a fan of Superman 64 but I do know how horrible it is.

Source: http://www.rarewarecentral.com/superman-64-beta

:nonplussed:

 

[Admiral jimbob]

The Flat Earth Society are about as legit as the Landover Baptists.

 

[Sacculina]

The Flat Earth Society are about as legit as the Landover Baptists.

Daniel Shenton should be the most irrational man in the world. As the new president of the Flat Earth Society, you'd imagine he would also think that evolution is a scam and global warming a myth. He should argue that smoking does not cause cancer and HIV does not lead to Aids.

Yes, that Flat Earth Society, a group that has become a living metaphor for backward thinking and a refusal to face scientific facts. Yes, it is still going, and no, this isn't an early April fool.

...

He is mainstream on most issues, but not all. For when Shenton rides his motorbike, he says it is not gravity that pins him to the road, but the rapid upward motion of a disc-shaped planet. Countries, according to him, spread across this flat world as they appear to do on a map, with Antarctica as a ring of mountains strung around the edge. And, yes, you can fall off.

...

"I can't say what everybody's motive is for joining, but there are quite a few who I know are as serious as I am," he says. "Lots of people log on once to hurl abuse but they tend to get bored and go away. We're not ­fanatical about it and we're not going to engage in pointless, ­angry discussions."

Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/global/2010/feb/23/flat-earth-society

 

[Clockwork Knight]

http://superadventuresingaming.blogspot ... s-dos.html

That's...a bunch of reloads. On the other hands, he's willing to try again and again.

 

[Peter]

http://superadventuresingaming.blogspot.com/2011/07/elder-scrolls-daggerfall-ms-dos.html

That's...a bunch of reloads. On the other hands, he's willing to try again and again.

Fuck, even skimming through that was painful.

I don't expect consoletards to be able to play Daggerfall effectively, but stop blaming your own retardation on the game, and drop the attitude ("You call that a door?"; "How dare you not have the decency to give me a quest compass?").

 

[Luzur]

i cant select a profile, otherwise i would post a Codex comment there.

 

[Grim Monk]

Im tierd of hearing this.

Pc gamers and Pc reviewers Please SHUT UP!
I'm tired of hearing "Oh this is better for the console gamers" Or "Oh this was made for consoles in mind warf warf dribble dribble poo". All i hear from Pc gamers is how the consoles NEED auto aim and NEED a lower frame rate and NEED a closer FOV, That is all pissing in the wind as i see it.

We hate tight FOV's We like fast games we don't like Auto aim we know are systems are about 7-10 years old we want a new better one. Why is it that Pc gamers ALWAYS look down on console gamers just because we don't own a system that's the price of a freak car!? I like my Xbox and PS3 I would rather buy games on them I buy some games for my PC like RTS games.

If there are any hardcore PC gamers tell me WHY the consoles suck and WHY we need WORSE game macanics.(and for people wanting to report this this ISNT a hate thread or Troll, I just want awseres.)
Edit: ok so people CLEARLY didnt get what i meant with this post It was the TECH I know PCs will always be better then Tech thats NOT this discution Its about the way the games play! We dont need auto aim small FOV or only 60 FPS thats the discution

 

[Clockwork Knight]

just because we don't own a system that's the price of a freak car!?

my Xbox and PS3

 

[Grim Monk]

"8 Reasons to Hate PC Gamers" on pcworld.com:
http://www.pcworld.com/article/214603/8 ... amers.html

Awesomely deconstructed by the people from "razetheworld.com":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlxWe65_TkY

Major Bro Credits to them.

 

[Grim Monk]

Nevertheless, the deconstruction is very solidly done.

 

[Peter]

http://lurkerfaqs.com/posts/view/602172

And it's all true.

why would anyone unironically like planescape argggghh