NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Bluebottle]

So since when does abortion exist in a pre-medicinal society?

I'm sure Bethesda could cook up a mini-game, like the lockpicking one, where you insert a few metal tools into the womb, press up a few times, and despite having a low skill level, the job is accomplished.

All you'd need is a decent flight of stairs and a paralysis spell. Havok would do the rest.

 

[Chinese Jetpilot]

I think I pissed off the ring leader:

Sij'Rath saw Vampyros Oh no not that man he tought
he lisend what vampyros "Shut up" he said furyous and jumped on Vampyros
he Drew his sword and layed it close to Vampyros's throught
"Say another word about her and i will kill you"
He loved her and would defend her with his life.
"I Love her, so keep your hands of her"
He gave out a little roar and punched him with his free hand useing his knees to hold him down.

Sij'Rath hits him hard again in his face
He made a little scare over Vampyros's fourhead.
"Shut up or you will die" And put his sword back against Vampyros's throught
He gave him another hard punch at vampyros's Face
"You are one Son of a [censored]"

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

I thought you weren't allowed to control other people's characters.

 

[Chinese Jetpilot]

I thought you weren't allowed to control other people's characters.

Yeah, how quickly that went out the window, they've all decided to fight me. I've decided to fight him to the death.

Vampyros throws Sij'Rath off of him with his powerful, stubby legs. "It's time, Sij'Rath...time to die!"

SWING! SWING! BLOCK! STABBING THRUST! Vampyros misses with all of his attacks. He jumps on top of the ship's railing, managing to retain his balance.

POWER ATTACK! POWER ATTACK! Again, he fails. Vampyros begins to tire, because he has not eaten, and as everyone here knows, food provides energy. Without energy, he cannot fight. "I have one last attack in me!", he exclaims.

He lunges at you. JUMPING POWER ATTACK! You manage to block the attack. He hovers the targeting cursor over you, and notices you still have full health. He mumbles under his breath. "Damn you, you must have just eaten, because you have energy!"


- My apologys vampyros but i never betraye my leader, aravy drew his katana and tryed to cut vampyros's arm

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

You're getting INTO it, aren't you?

 

[Chinese Jetpilot]

You're getting INTO it, aren't you?

Yeah, too bad they killed me.

 

[OccupatedVoid]

You're getting INTO it, aren't you?

Yeah, too bad they killed me.

Did they eat some more before or after they killed you?

 

[Chinese Jetpilot]

You're getting INTO it, aren't you?

Yeah, too bad they killed me.

Did they eat some more before or after they killed you?

Haha, I'm sure it won't be long until they're hungry. Now they're taking turns to torture my corpse:

"Shut up you he started by trying to kill Karina and Take over leader ship" he said Cilvia takes a verry strong rope and ties him up
Then Sij'Rath walks over and cuts off his fingers and ties him up in a pole and said "You will suffer" and cut a nice fine cut over Vampyros's nose
"You will never harm anyone again" Sij'Rath said
Cilvia held her sword by his neck and said "You will not toch him again" and made a little scarr over his throught.

- aravy looked at all the scars and sais "i want to make one to!"he said and used his long katana and maked a pretty long cut at his breast

 

[OccupatedVoid]

Grind their nose of and pour water in it. Easy Native American-derived insta-kill method.

 

[Vipera]

:shock:

My eyes started hemoragghing about halfway into his post. Did I miss anything extremely retarded?

 

[Chinese Jetpilot]

:shock:

My eyes started hemoragghing about halfway into his post. Did I miss anything extremely retarded?

Not really, the "heroes" got angry at me, and just decided to kill and maime my corpse. It's like a second-coming of Fallujah. An example of their latest bloodlust:

"Hes gone" he said
"The Traitor will not hurt anyone anymore" Cilvia said
"Im glad Cilvia is a withness" Sij'Rath said
He Staped Vampyros on the face and cut of his head and threw it in the water.
Cilvia Carryed Vampyros and threw him out of the boat
"I Hope he Rots in [censored]"

 

[Vipera]

He apparently suffers from spontaneous capitalization syndrome.

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

Why hasn't anyone come up with something that lets you stab people in the face over the internet?

 

[JrK]

Because YOU ALL SUCK DICK.

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

Well, apart from that.

 

[JrK]

Er.


Hi.

Those keys are like, right next to each other.

 

[Ahzaruuk]

Er.


Hi.

Those keys are like, right next to each other.

A common Typo :wink:

 

[MF]

This is like playing 'guess who' with a class of retarded kids! Awesome!
I just wrote this.

http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=594652&st=20&gopid=8652004&#entry8652004

Name: Harold Braunschweiger
Race:Nord
Sex: Male
Age: 29
Apperance: An aesthetically pleasing body and balanced physique, extremely buffed out and blond.

Weapons: A claymore.
Armor: Just an iron thong and chest hair.

Bio: Lost his wife and family and is now a tinkering rover.



Everyone spots a sail on the horizon. Anxiety builds up as speculations are made as to what may be beneath the sail. As the white canvas draws closer to the party's ship, your look turns into one of astonishment. The sail is hoisted upon a mast, no surprise there. The mast, however, sits upon what looks like a makeshift raft. Nothing more than scrap boards tied to a bunch of barrels with a good length of sturdy old rope. What is more astonishing than the raft is the guy holding on to the mast and frantically waving at the ship.
Illy clad and shod, almost naked save for smooth cast underwear and sporting an enormous sword, it is a sight to behold. Clearly, this man needs help.

Think it's too obvious?

 

[Chinese Jetpilot]

They're so stupid they'll have no clue you're ridiculing their pathetic game. Don't be surprised if one of those dim-bulbs responds with something like:

"Hey, there's a man over there, Maybe he needs our help. We can never have egnoth helpers, and the laburint is hard to get through so we will need a lot of fighters."

 

[Vipera]

Er.


Hi.

Those keys are like, right next to each other.

A common Typo :wink:

I think I'm missing something here...

 

[Vipera]

This is like playing 'guess who' with a class of retarded kids! Awesome!
Think it's too obvious?

If anything, it's too subtle.

 

[OccupatedVoid]

Er.


Hi.

Those keys are like, right next to each other.

A common Typo :wink:

I think I'm missing something here...

You're not alone.

 

[Lord Chambers]

Er.


Hi.

Those keys are like, right next to each other.

A common Typo :wink:

I think I'm missing something here...

You're not alone.

WELCOME TO THE INTERNETS BITCHES
http://bash.org/?top

 

[MF]

Those two are engaging in some kind of softcore cybersex activity. Let's see if I can get their eating frenzy back into place.

Harold Braunschweiger was always the man for beef. Protein was the source of his muscle, it was the provider of the contractile tissue that made him feel whole. It was the object of his craving, and the smell of it drove his every action. As the raft approached the ship, everyone could hear the deep, roaring voice as the bulky Nord bellowd out. "You there, I need food. And water. But mostly food. Meat. Red meat. Ham, lots of ham. Lamb and veal." A gleam from the sun reflected on what appeared to be saliva dripping from his beard. With a mighty jump, the Nord jumped off the raft and swam towards the ship.

 

[whatusername]

Er.


Hi.

Those keys are like, right next to each other.

A common Typo :wink:

I think I'm missing something here...

You're not alone.

WELCOME TO THE INTERNETS BITCHES
http://bash.org/?top

To be completely off-topic: http://bash.org/?111338