NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Blacklung]

Jesus, God, Mary, and Baby Jesus. What the fuck is going on?

 

[JrK]

Says he with his 666'th post.

 

[Vipera]

Er.


Hi.

Those keys are like, right next to each other.

A common Typo :wink:

I think I'm missing something here...

You're not alone.

WELCOME TO THE INTERNETS BITCHES
http://bash.org/?top

Those quotes are awesome!

 

[MF]

I'm sick of it, they're not playing along. Time for some spice.

Harold grabbed the two old socks in his knapsack and rubber banded them on Sij'Rath's front paws.
Then he put some lube on his fingers and lubed his hole up real good. After he was
all lubed up he put some more in his hand and got his dick all slick. Then all
he had to say was, "Mount Tiger!", and he was on him as fast as can be. it
didn't take him long to find his tight, puckered hole, and he jammed it in
and started fucking him like crazy. With every thrust he wanted more, he
pumped his meat in and out of the furball. With every jab he fucked him faster and
harder than before. Then he could feel his knot up against his asshole, but he
had a plan, and he kept him from shoving it in, though he wanted it. Within
seconds he could feel him shooting inside of it, he could feel every squirt. he
knelt there for a minute basking in the pure pleasure, then he pulled off and
it was his turn to get his rocks off. Grabbed the lube and lubed up his dick,
all the while, having Tiger's cum oozing from his asshole down his leg. he told
Tiger to lay down on his back and he slowly eased his dick in.
As he began to pump in and out of his doggy hole, he could tell he was liking it.
As he lay there on his back with his rock hard cock being shoved in and out of his
ass, he just laid there with his mouth open and eyes closed, occasionally licking
him on the face. He was enjoying the hell out of it, he was getting close to cumming by
now. As he gave one hard thrust he emptied hisself into him, so much that he
didn't have enough room and it started to ooze out around his still fully
hard dick. he laid there for a second before pulling out, so as to enjoy the
feeling as long as possible.

ooc: Locklear what the hell is that!!!! edit that or ill report that material.

OOC:That's roleplaying man. Didn't you figure Harold was into him yet? come on!
ooc: Edit or i will report
OOC : dude, your character is being raped, how about having him react?
OOC: By who?
OOC : By Harold, you did read it, did you?

Either these guys have a porn filter on the brain synapse level or I wass unclear about the whole matter.

Edit : HOLY COW!
Some admin deleted that post within 5 minutes. You can't get employees with that level of dedication if you paid them.

 

[Vipera]

I'm sick of it, they're not playing along. Time for some spice.

:shock:

Look at this:

OOC: Dude, your character's getting raped. How are you going to react?

OOC: By who?

Priceless.

 

[MF]

Meh. They banned me. Just when I was going to chastise them for not allowing me to roleplay my homosexual fantasies and start a faux gay-rights movement.

 

[Blacklung]

Says he with his 666'th post.

Haha, well I don't think that was the number of that post, but nice catch anyway. And did we really have to resort to furry sex stories? Between the constant eating, horrible typing, corpse torture, and general stupidity, that seems a bit overkill.

 

[aweigh]

http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/genmessage.php?board=922154&topic=31968983

Arkhem
Posted 11/24/2006 5:43:51 AM
message detail Don't get me wrong, I play all types of RPGs except MMOs and I've played a lot of games similar to Gothic 3 but I still find the game horrible even overlooking all the bugs and performance issues. I really shouldn't have any performance issues with any game with the system I have.

And no, none really likes Gothic 3, it's all in your head, you mistaken (of course I'm not serious, but honestly RPGs is basically the only thing I play and Gothic 3 is by far the worst I've ever played and everyone I know agrees with me)

 

[Romanian_Dude2005]

Why hasn't anyone come up with something that lets you stab people in the face over the internet?

Arklon wanted to do something like that back when he replied to a retarded post of a Diablo 2 fanboy who hailed Oblivion has being superior to every other RPG because it allows you LARP freely, although he didn't say LARP

 

[OverrideB1]

I've been reading that RP thread at the ESF with a sort of sick fascination. Dear lord, smite them now so that they don't fucking breed. It's the sort of role-playing you'd expect from a moderately bright 5-year old

While I appreciate that, for many of them, English isn't a first language, the level of spelling/grammer exhibited in that thread makes me wince every time I read it. And the fascination with stuffing themselves at every opportunity -- WTF is that?

Coming Soon: Elder Scrolls V: The Luncheoning

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

Ive been playing more than 20 hours of KOTN.

But im role playing a paladin character.

I walked to each shrine, when i got their i prayed for a while to the gods for strength to continue my pilgrimage.

Took ages but thats what roleplaying is about.. atmosphere, immersion and using your imagination.

half the people here fast travelled to the closest location to each wayshrine and location. ran through each dungeon instead of walking.

what did you do when you saw the crusader helm? i bet you just quickly picked it up and left.
i prayed for a time, and spent some time in reflection about the loss of life involved in my getting this far.

I want them all to die of cancer.

 

[KreideBein]

At least we can take comfort in the fact that they won't last very long with that kind of intellectual capacity.

But DEAR GOD, they are IDIOTS.

 

[Darkflame]

ahahaha look at what he says next:

In defence of my own sanity, i dont actually pray myself.. i give my character on screen the time that praying would take.

So basically, if you want, i have breaks every time my character does something in character.

Example - If my assassin or thief is sat on a bench in the imperial city, he's watching for potential marks, or calculating how much gold that fat merchant has in his pockets.
I myself, sat on my chair in my living room, am having a beer watching the npc's go about their daily thing, watching tv out of the corner of my eye or taking in the wonderful graphics this game has.
Does take a lot of dedication to roleplay at times. And a lot of time. But with certain games i can do it so easily.

 

[Romanian_Dude2005]

BTW, how bad is KOTN? I know it's a shot in the face for originality, but does it show the least sign of non-linearity or some memorable characters that you don't have to kill?

 

[OverrideB1]

Ive been playing more than 20 hours of KOTN.
But im role playing a paladin character.
I walked to each shrine, when i got their i prayed for a while to the gods for strength to continue my pilgrimage.
Took ages but thats what roleplaying is about.. atmosphere, immersion and using your imagination.
half the people here fast travelled to the closest location to each wayshrine and location. ran through each dungeon instead of walking.
what did you do when you saw the crusader helm? i bet you just quickly picked it up and left.
i prayed for a time, and spent some time in reflection about the loss of life involved in my getting this far.

I want them all to die of cancer.

I'd rather someone taught them what role-playing actually is -- with a '2 by 4'* if neccessary



* Nails and/or barbed wire an optional extra

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

BTW, how bad is KOTN? I know it's a shot in the face for originality, but does it show the least sign of non-linearity or some memorable characters that you don't have to kill?

Apparently not. Oh, and the final boss level-scales and dies quicker than a bandit.

 

[Romanian_Dude2005]

http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/inde ... pic=595867

Only because of:

No, a player roleplays a game. A game does not roleplay the player.

You can roleplay any computer game out there, if you have imagination. Morrowind and Oblivion are better roleplaying games for me because they allow me to use my imagination to the fullest, they allow me the freedom to create my roleplaying experience any way I see fit. For the most part I am free to take my character wherever I want, whenever I want. And that helps me roleplay.

Cutting down on my choices does not help me roleplay, it makes roleplaying harder for me. If a game forces companions into my party and then forces companions out of my party at the developer's whim, if it pushes me through narrow landscapes that resemble corridors, if it gives me three dialog options that don't fit my conception of my character then that game is hindering my roleplaying, not helping it.

Roleplaying is in the mind, not in the game.

and

Precisely.

Gothic 3 has less roleplaying 'potential' than Oblivion, and is a worse game as a whole.

Ive listed why in my previous post.. its 'interesting' that people defending gothic 3, or saying oblivion is not a rpg (which of course is absurd and doesnt bare closer inspection) have little information to actually back their statements.

Neverwinter Nights 2, is a linear experience just as much as Oblivion.

The so-called choices you have are nowhere near as deep as everyone lies to make you think they are.
Its a step up from an interactive fiction title.. nothing more.

Nothing you do alters the main story at all. All choices are centrered around your immediate situation or the normal party-based 'love me' 'hate me' routines found in Kotor2.

NPC's in NWN2 that wander lifeless around towns, are exactly that, lifeless drones that have zero options for dialogue.. they dont even converse with eachother.

And neverwinter does not feel like a bustling metropolis because there simply arent enough of these automatons.

Now, if they made it like Assassins Creed, where you're literally squeezing your way through hordes of characters then the lack of interaction would have been acceptable.. as it is, it just reinforces the fact you're playing a game when you see two npc's stood in the same place in Neverwinter, that never move or converse.

I still don't buy his PnP childhood bluff

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

Oh, dear. I respected Pseron.

 

[OverrideB1]

Nothing you do alters the main story at all

And they do in Oblivion? I'd like a bucketful of whatever mind-altering drugs this moron is taking please...

Oh, dear. I respected Pseron.

I'm quite surprised by his comments too given Pseron was quite scathing about the lack of choices/consequences when Oblivion was being hyped., But they do prove, conclusively, that stupidity is catching

 

[KreideBein]

This guy is a moron...

Gothic 3 has less roleplaying 'potential' than Oblivion, and is a worse game as a whole.

If role playing is all about imagination, then how can you say that one game has more "potential" than another?

Ive listed why in my previous post.. its 'interesting' that people defending gothic 3, or saying oblivion is not a rpg (which of course is absurd and doesnt bare closer inspection) have little information to actually back their statements.

Other than the fact that there is virtually no role playing to be had in Oblivion?

The so-called choices you have are nowhere near as deep as everyone lies to make you think they are.

At least there ARE choices to begin with, rather than the imagined choices of Oblivion.

Nothing you do alters the main story at all. All choices are centrered around your immediate situation or the normal party-based 'love me' 'hate me' routines found in Kotor2.

So since Oblivion doesn't allow you to effect the main story either and has no party interactions, wouldn't that mean that it's a worse game?

NPC's in NWN2 that wander lifeless around towns, are exactly that, lifeless drones that have zero options for dialogue.. they dont even converse with eachother.

The NPCs in Oblivion are completely lifeless, wander around like morons, and have virtually no dialogue options. Apparently it's the mudcrab discussions make Oblivion a truly awsome game.

And neverwinter does not feel like a bustling metropolis because there simply arent enough of these automatons.

Most of Oblivion's cities have very little activity on the streets. And even when there is some, they aren't doing anything.

In closing, I can safely say that I'm glad that I abandoned the ESF when I did. I thought that it couldn't get any worse than Haknslash. I was wrong.

 

[Vidken]

All these games let you wander around freely in an open expanse of nature with some towns, talk to people, get quests, and kill things. I'm trying to figure out why Oblivion has more "teh roelpley potential" than the others because it's quests are the most linear and the absolute least change in the world happens when you invoke something that's implied to be signifigant.

I think I have a couple reasons why these people like to roleplay eating so much. The first is simply that they're fucking cows IRL and that's what they're used to, and know a lot about.

The second reason is that they installed some sort of eating requirements mod for Oblivion. If you played the eating mod with Oblivion's standard timescale, you'd be feeding your character a little more than three times per hour. You could change the timescale to something that isn't stupid, but unlike proper survival games like Unreal World, the world of Cyrodiil's food doesn't rot and there's random fruits, vegitables, and unspoiling meat scattered all over the place, so there wouldn't be much point because food is so readily available. There's also 35,352 deer per square mile and you can outrun them with a level 1 character.

 

[Vipera]

Example - If my assassin or thief is sat on a bench in the imperial city, he's watching for potential marks, or calculating how much gold that fat merchant has in his pockets.
I myself, sat on my chair in my living room, am having a beer watching the npc's go about their daily thing, watching tv out of the corner of my eye or taking in the wonderful graphics this game has.
Does take a lot of dedication to roleplay at times. And a lot of time. But with certain games i can do it so easily.

Ha! I've got to try that.

 

[Wild Slop]

heh

or you could not, and say that you did .... that would be roleplaying too

wouldnt it?

 

[suibhne]

It may not be ESF, but I think this thread needs a little WoW forum luvin'.

 

[Darkflame]

This will be a good thread...

I've never realy roleplayed a character before, the closest i ever did was being evil in Fable but i've seen some very interesting things said about roleplaying. I've tried roleplaying a redguard rogue type, but i ended up with a similar character that i always have, my own personality traits keep coming through and i end up playing the game instead of playing with the character if you know what i meen.

So how do you guys define your character, do you think about it alot before you start or does he evolve as you play? How much do you stick to the hardcore stuff, like eating and sleeping at night, and walking through towns with clothes instead of armour?

http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/inde ... pic=596774