You know those games where you win but you are still yelling profanities at the monitor because Nuffle is giving you some of his special sauce? Yeah, just had one of those. To be fair to Fildrigar, he also had plenty of opportunities to yell at his monitor too.
This was a comedy of errors, first action turnovers and horrible dice rolls at both ends. The winner was going to be whoever ended up managing to not fail dice rolls the most.
The Chaos team kicked the ball off the pitch so I gave it to Cosplay is for Amateurs, my Thrower who was safely tucked away at the back. Meanwhile I had a cunning plan involving the Rat Ogre Secretly A Unicorn making a bit of space in the middle and then Stormvermin wrapping up the wings. For the very first action of the game, Secretly A Unicorn throws a block, gets a push, follows up and then rolls double skulls. Burn a reroll but the loner skill says 'Nuh uh!', SaU hits the deck, KOs himself on the way down and that's my first turn over. The Chaos team take full advantage and swarm my exposed guys but luckily don't manage more than a handful of pushes before running out of time. I modify my cunning plan to one where I draw the Chaos players into a scrum in the middle before breaking the ball out and carrying it out of range. I throw some blocks back and again get a bunch of pushes but that's fine. I'm out-bashed and I don't expect to be knocking down Chaos Warriiors with linemen. I move I Have A Backstory You Know out to get a better line on something and he fails a dodge. I've already used my reroll so that's it again and I've not yet moved my Thrower out of range of the rampaging Beastmen. The Chaos team park a Beastman next to Cosplay Is For Amateurs before kicking the crap out of all the Skaven in reach. Cosplay is For Amateurs tries to dodge away, fails, eats a reroll, fails that and then stuns himself trying to work out just how hard he failed. The ball is now loose deep in my half with no mobile rats in range of it. Enlivened by this display of crapness, the Chaos team injure a Gutter Runner called I Was Born A Dragon You Know, knock down a couple more Skaven for good measure and then grab the ball to walk it over the line for an early score.
We kick off again and my Rat Ogre is still out so I'm down to 9 players vs a full Chaos team. It's a short kick so Cosplay is For Amateurs grabs the ball and scampers back out of blitz range. He's still a bit nervous about the last drive so he goes for it one extra square to get out of marking range too and falls over stunning himself once again. The Chaos team bring their greater numbers and higher strength to bear and take down a bunch of Skaven including a KOd and a stunned linerat. Things go south for them when a block goes bad vs a Stormvermin who remains standing after a both down and the Skaven start to push back. I injure a Beastman with a Gutter Runner Block and then promptly stun a linerat with a failed dodge. The Chaos team swoop in on the ball but fumble it and the rats have half a paw back in the game. Cosplay Is For Amateurs stands up, dodges away from his marker, grabs the ball, dodges again to a clear square and lines up a throw to an unmarked Gutter Runner on the opposite wing. Unfortunately he fumbles the pass, rerolls with his pass skill and fumbles that too. Two more Skaven leaves the pitch when the Chaos team score a Badly Hurt injury on I Have A Backstory You Know and a KO on Let Me Show You My Fursuit. Unfortunately they then fail a GfI trying to get to the ball. Cosplay Is For Amateurs reprises his dodge, pickup, dodge trick from the previous turn, unfortunately he also reprises his fumble, reroll fumble anyway routine. The Chaos team take him down, grab the ball with a Chaos Warrior and then foul him resulting in a Beastman being ejected for unsporting behaviour. I put some markers on the Chaos Warrior with the ball and then get double skulls on a two dice block against him. Luckily he's still double marked so, after clearing away one marker, he still has to make a dodge to score which he fails and that's the first half. I'm 1-0 down and a depressingly large chunk of my team are in the dugouts.
Secretly A Unicorn and Let Me Show You My Fursuit come back which means I'm down to 8 players for the second half, while the Chaos team have nine thanks to an injury and a sending off. I kick short, the Chaos team throw all the blocks they can, knocking down the Rat Ogre and a Stormvermin but not doing any damage. In my turn Yiffy the Gutter Runner makes a couple of dodges, burns a reroll on a GfI to get to the ball and then makes another GfI and a dodge to get to a clear square. Another Gutter Runner is close by to receive the ball but he's been learning to throw by watching Cosplay Is For Amateurs and so the ball is fumbled. A Beastman blitzes Yiffy as the first Chaos action, gets a bad result, rerolls it and they both go down anyway. The ball is loose in the Chaos half and I have a Gutter Runner in scoring range so Let Me Show You My Fursuit comes steaming up the pitch, grabs the ball and throws it to Not Going To Lie, Fur Is Hot who scampers over to the endzone to tie the game.
Now we're both down to 8 players a side and the Chaos team come out swinging but fail to do any damage to the Skaven. They do manage to get the ball safe though. Unfortunately the Beastman with the ball is in blitz range and so a couple of Gutter Runners put assists on him while It's Not A Costume shows him some Stormvermin love. Not Going To Lie, Fur Is Hot sprints in and grabs the ball before running to relative safety with it. I mark up the Chaos players that I can but KO a Linerat in the process. The Chaos team are in a bad spot, I have the ball and their players are tied up, they push a few rats out of the way but fail a GfI trying to get more markers on the ballcarrier. I push away the marker and then romp over the line to take the lead.
The next drive again sees the Chaos team with a slight numerical advantage as 8 rats and 9 Chaos players take the pitch. There are only 4 turns left so it's going to be hard for the Chaos team to equalise and they start badly by getting a turnover on their very first block. The Skaven turn isn't much better as Secretly A Unicorn fails his Wild Animal roll and then You Wouldn't Understand fails a dodge, burns a reroll and still fails, injuring himself in the process. The Chaos team grab the ball and push down the pitch in a desperate bid for a late score but a failed GfI on a blitz leaves the ball carrier dangerously exposed. The Skaven surround the Beastman with the ball, Secretly a Unicorn KOs a Chaos Warrior and it looks as though I have a safe-ish 2-0 win in hand. There is a little scrum forming on one sideline with the ball in the middle, held by a Beastman. I'm confident he can't move forwards but I'm not confident I can get it away from him. Another bad Chaos block however gives me an in and it's Not a Costume knocks down two Beastmen in quick succession - one who threw a block at him and one who he threw a block at. The last of these was the guy with the ball which bounced into the hands of Not Going To Lie, Fur is Hot who slips away, makes a pass to Let Me Show You My Fursuit and that's a third Skaven touchdown.
We have one turn left each, I have 7 players to the 9 Chaos guys on the field. They fluff a block and that's their game over. I throw a few blocks, grab the ball and try a pass for cheap SPPs but that backfires when a Chaos Warrior makes an intercept. The whistle blows and I've won 3-1 despite an utterly awful start to the game.