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CKII is released.
- Thread starter Trash
- Start date
Cassidy
Arcane
Things such as this are why I never adapted or posted any AAR of a Paradox game in their forums, besides the screenshot per post restrictions.
sser
Arcane
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2011
- Messages
- 1,866,834
Note, if your only heir is a religious homosexual, find the most lustful woman in the kingdoms and she will force herself upon him night after night and produce almost a dozen kids for you.
That's how a rapey queen saved the Lithuanian Kingdom.
That's how a rapey queen saved the Lithuanian Kingdom.
Vaarna_Aarne
Notorious Internet Vandal
And make sure said rape-queen has at least one positive genetic trait if possible.
Trash
Pointing and laughing.
Well, I always figure it to be the children of the local stableboy but who cares. The dynasty continues in name.
Vaarna_Aarne
Notorious Internet Vandal
One interesting thing about CK1 was that it seemed that bastards seemed to be destined to become unstoppable ubermenchen in terms of stats.
(This could be a very sly mockery about royal inbreeding)
Trash
Pointing and laughing.
Am amazed btw at the incline that GoT is. Even when the whole setting means fuck all to you they've really improved the base gameplay. It's like CK2Plus before it went retarded. Highly recommended, even when there are a few unpolished spots left and playing the wildlings or those ironborn can be better left untill Paradox releases The Old Gods.
Even enjoy the loading screen texts. Lolled a little about 'Cthulhu worshipping vikings are not to be trusted.'
And even that mod is hit by modder drama. Fucking prima donnas.
Even enjoy the loading screen texts. Lolled a little about 'Cthulhu worshipping vikings are not to be trusted.'
And even that mod is hit by modder drama. Fucking prima donnas.
sser
Arcane
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2011
- Messages
- 1,866,834
So... once the Kingdom's future was insured courtesy of a bedroom battleaxe, I focused on centralizing power and raising taxes. I sent my first born off to marry a very weak Queen of Leon. And then... in an amazing coup, I took over Hungary:
There were huge civil wars to start with, but they were all put down in order. A huge faction of about 6,000 soldiers exists, threatening my domain, but I'll deal with them later. Right after this picture was taken, the King died. I took the new King and released a bunch of prisoners and spread around gold to get everyone onboard, or at least try to. It's already rough ruling a kingdom split between Roman Catholicism and Orthodoxy. But what's very interesting is that the current ruler is King of Lithuania, Hungary, and Leon. Leon is ruled by a Queen, who only has a single Heir. If I were to kill the kid and the queen, I would then rule Leon... I'm thinking of turning my sights on Russia. HRE has spread into Spain and Italy; Pisa is all over North Africa and the Middle-East is a complete wreck. Norway took over Scandinavia, but there are some holdouts. Poland has sat on its haunches for the entire game, watching itself get surrounded by blobs.
There were huge civil wars to start with, but they were all put down in order. A huge faction of about 6,000 soldiers exists, threatening my domain, but I'll deal with them later. Right after this picture was taken, the King died. I took the new King and released a bunch of prisoners and spread around gold to get everyone onboard, or at least try to. It's already rough ruling a kingdom split between Roman Catholicism and Orthodoxy. But what's very interesting is that the current ruler is King of Lithuania, Hungary, and Leon. Leon is ruled by a Queen, who only has a single Heir. If I were to kill the kid and the queen, I would then rule Leon... I'm thinking of turning my sights on Russia. HRE has spread into Spain and Italy; Pisa is all over North Africa and the Middle-East is a complete wreck. Norway took over Scandinavia, but there are some holdouts. Poland has sat on its haunches for the entire game, watching itself get surrounded by blobs.
Vaarna_Aarne
Notorious Internet Vandal
Turov and Kiev are the obvious first targets, a land connection will prove important to Lithuania-Hungary. Leon is far away and only adds more cultural tensions to the empire's vassals. It's also wise to start looking for your capital duchy(s), Kiev is IIRC a pretty good one, having the high level Kiev province (one of the valuable 7 holding provinces in the game) as well as decent provinces besides it.
Also, begin sucking up to the Germans pronto. They're the primary threat and need to be taken out of the picture either through marriage alliances, or Lithuanian Hitmen.
Also, begin sucking up to the Germans pronto. They're the primary threat and need to be taken out of the picture either through marriage alliances, or Lithuanian Hitmen.
Vaarna_Aarne
Notorious Internet Vandal
Sword of Islam, Legacy of Rome and The Republic are the expansion DLCs, with The Old Gods being the next one.
Besides them, usually it's the portrait packs due to most mods making use of them. And of course, if you want your niggas more than just tanned, you need those.
So I was starting a new game to bring Norse Enrichment to Scandinavia. I start off with a genius ruler (and pay the age penalty for it). I immediately marry a 16yo courtier with the strong trait who has absurd martial and intrigue score and is deceitful+lustful since she'd make a good spymaster.
She gives me a son who inherits the Quick trait. A year after she gives me a daughter who inherits the Strong trait. My übermensch breeding scheme is looking good.
Two years later she is pregnant again... But I wasn't home when it happened. O shi--!
Yeah, so my deceitful, lustful wife gives birth to a bastard. I should be angry until I see that not only has he failed to be quick or strong. He actually got a bunch of negatraits from the deadbeat courtier who sired him. Vaarna_Aarne, being the BROest of BROs quickly instructs me in how to edit save files to change birth name + culture.
I will be raising this bastard personally once he turns 6
[Edit]
Not 2 months after that screenshot was taken, my spymaster informs me that Glyphwrights treacherous mother is trying to Embezzle money from me. Clearly she is a crypto-Georgian. I told her to stop being an idiot for now. But once she gives me a few more children, I think I'll have to arrange an "accident".
[Edit 2]
16th of Feburary, 1076 a new Norse reality show launches: "How to raise your Georgian".
Using my superior Viking intellect, I have begun methodically erasing all of the backwards asian characteristics from the Georgians traditional culture. He may actually pass for a Swede now, since Swedes are known to be a bit dense.
Even so, genetics are a cruel master. He is already showing tendencies towards depravity. I have tried to lovingly beat the shit out of him, but to no avail.
Glyphwright indulges in the deadly sin of Pride, claiming his fathers inferior culture is European of all things. I beat him with the switch until he stopped such nonsense. And by stopped I mean he was unconscious. Tough love is best with problematic children.
By his 9th birthday, the problem child finally began to understand he was born inferior to normal men. But instead of striving to improve himself, he regressed into envy. I applied beatings with the stick of wisdom until he stopped muttering about Russia stealing his birthright, but the lesson did not appear to sink through his thick skull.
Being unused to first world economy, the greedy child gorges himself in the kitchens every night. I tried administering the whip of temperance to curb his excess, but his genes compel him to consume all that he can lay claim to before winter and Putin comes.
Having been in my care for only 4 years, the treacherous Asian is already commiting almost every sin known to man. He is little more than an animal, incapable of learning.
I begin to despair. But I must do my solemn duty as a guardian and see this through to the end. In an attempt to salvage this troubled beast, I decide to enact the Putin Agenda and erase the last vestiges of his cultural identity.
There is hope in the midst of the despair. My true-born son, raised by the same loving methods, just came of age. This is what True Viking Blood with a True Viking Upbringing leads to:
On the eve of his 16th birthday, the Georgian dissapointment causes Loki to die of severe stress. He is succeeded by Hymer Lokisson who promptly crowns Glyphwright the court jester. For that is all a Georgian is good for.
Epilogue
8 years into Hymers reign, the spymaster could no longer bear the Asian taint that had crept into court. The jester was found swinging from a tree. In his infinite wistom, Hymer decided to forgive the spymaster this transgression.
She gives me a son who inherits the Quick trait. A year after she gives me a daughter who inherits the Strong trait. My übermensch breeding scheme is looking good.
Two years later she is pregnant again... But I wasn't home when it happened. O shi--!
Yeah, so my deceitful, lustful wife gives birth to a bastard. I should be angry until I see that not only has he failed to be quick or strong. He actually got a bunch of negatraits from the deadbeat courtier who sired him. Vaarna_Aarne, being the BROest of BROs quickly instructs me in how to edit save files to change birth name + culture.
I will be raising this bastard personally once he turns 6
[Edit]
Not 2 months after that screenshot was taken, my spymaster informs me that Glyphwrights treacherous mother is trying to Embezzle money from me. Clearly she is a crypto-Georgian. I told her to stop being an idiot for now. But once she gives me a few more children, I think I'll have to arrange an "accident".
[Edit 2]
16th of Feburary, 1076 a new Norse reality show launches: "How to raise your Georgian".
Using my superior Viking intellect, I have begun methodically erasing all of the backwards asian characteristics from the Georgians traditional culture. He may actually pass for a Swede now, since Swedes are known to be a bit dense.
Even so, genetics are a cruel master. He is already showing tendencies towards depravity. I have tried to lovingly beat the shit out of him, but to no avail.
Glyphwright indulges in the deadly sin of Pride, claiming his fathers inferior culture is European of all things. I beat him with the switch until he stopped such nonsense. And by stopped I mean he was unconscious. Tough love is best with problematic children.
By his 9th birthday, the problem child finally began to understand he was born inferior to normal men. But instead of striving to improve himself, he regressed into envy. I applied beatings with the stick of wisdom until he stopped muttering about Russia stealing his birthright, but the lesson did not appear to sink through his thick skull.
Being unused to first world economy, the greedy child gorges himself in the kitchens every night. I tried administering the whip of temperance to curb his excess, but his genes compel him to consume all that he can lay claim to before winter and Putin comes.
Having been in my care for only 4 years, the treacherous Asian is already commiting almost every sin known to man. He is little more than an animal, incapable of learning.
I begin to despair. But I must do my solemn duty as a guardian and see this through to the end. In an attempt to salvage this troubled beast, I decide to enact the Putin Agenda and erase the last vestiges of his cultural identity.
There is hope in the midst of the despair. My true-born son, raised by the same loving methods, just came of age. This is what True Viking Blood with a True Viking Upbringing leads to:
On the eve of his 16th birthday, the Georgian dissapointment causes Loki to die of severe stress. He is succeeded by Hymer Lokisson who promptly crowns Glyphwright the court jester. For that is all a Georgian is good for.
Epilogue
8 years into Hymers reign, the spymaster could no longer bear the Asian taint that had crept into court. The jester was found swinging from a tree. In his infinite wistom, Hymer decided to forgive the spymaster this transgression.
Post-epilogue:
Hymer Reigned for 19 years until he was slain when trying to wrestle a bear. He was succeeded by Tyr who was not so much a ruler as a venerable space marine dreadnaught with a martial score to scare the shit out of Khorne himself. His glorious reign lasted 5 years before his diplomacy of 2 and intrigue of 4 saw him poisoned. This was, however, enough time for him to deplete the war chest, claim Lappland and Kemi for the Jarldom of Norrland and give birth to Frigg, God-Empress of the North. Frigg was born with the Genius and Beautiful traits. Tyr managed to pass on Ambitious and Diligent to her before he croaked and her guardian raised her to become a Briliant Strategist. She created the Dutchy of Finland and set about kicking the living daylight out of anyone who held territories in her duchy. Sweden is currently employing a holy order and Norway is in an alliance with Denmark so neither is a sensible target just yet. I'll continue expanding east until such a time the christ-men of scandinavia no longer stand united. Then we will descend upon them with the fury of the thunderer!
Hymer Reigned for 19 years until he was slain when trying to wrestle a bear. He was succeeded by Tyr who was not so much a ruler as a venerable space marine dreadnaught with a martial score to scare the shit out of Khorne himself. His glorious reign lasted 5 years before his diplomacy of 2 and intrigue of 4 saw him poisoned. This was, however, enough time for him to deplete the war chest, claim Lappland and Kemi for the Jarldom of Norrland and give birth to Frigg, God-Empress of the North. Frigg was born with the Genius and Beautiful traits. Tyr managed to pass on Ambitious and Diligent to her before he croaked and her guardian raised her to become a Briliant Strategist. She created the Dutchy of Finland and set about kicking the living daylight out of anyone who held territories in her duchy. Sweden is currently employing a holy order and Norway is in an alliance with Denmark so neither is a sensible target just yet. I'll continue expanding east until such a time the christ-men of scandinavia no longer stand united. Then we will descend upon them with the fury of the thunderer!
Grab moar, want moar, take moar
Another day, another vassal wants to revolt against the Basileus, judging from the lack of eyes, this guy is now putting his balls on the line.
A commendable struggle, but we'll stay out of it and just focus on making House Orsini profit and amass wealth for the inevitable collapse of the Byzantine Empire. (Hint: Mongols)
Well, well what do you know? They actually succeeded this time? Time to send some virgin granddaughters to the Basileus court to be educated.
The new basileus? Yeah I met him, FUCK HIS BLOODBOWL SKAVEN TEAM.
On to important matters.
FINALLY WE CAN START OWNING CROATIA! USE IT!
FUUUUUUCK - LIMITED WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY! TO ARMS!
Y'know what surprises me more? The new Basileus is 20 ... and is an illegitimate bastard.
and he chose to marry my hunchback daughter - matrilineally...
That's ok, let him fuck my daughter while I grab what I can before Absolut Crown takes effect...
Mercs are called, we're breaking our piggy bank...
Who the fuck is this heretic? And why is he carrying 250 gold with him? IMPRISON HIS ASS.
AND TAKE HIS GOLD. AND PLEASE COME BACK AGAIN.
ONE COUNTY TAKEN.
If someone tells me an Orsini will rise to be a Basileus at the start of this campaign, I'd call them insane... but hey... there's a chance of that happening now...
If all goes well, that is. Heck, the Basileus is still young. We better treat him real nice.
A commendable struggle, but we'll stay out of it and just focus on making House Orsini profit and amass wealth for the inevitable collapse of the Byzantine Empire. (Hint: Mongols)
Well, well what do you know? They actually succeeded this time? Time to send some virgin granddaughters to the Basileus court to be educated.
The new basileus? Yeah I met him, FUCK HIS BLOODBOWL SKAVEN TEAM.
On to important matters.
FINALLY WE CAN START OWNING CROATIA! USE IT!
FUUUUUUCK - LIMITED WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY! TO ARMS!
Y'know what surprises me more? The new Basileus is 20 ... and is an illegitimate bastard.
and he chose to marry my hunchback daughter - matrilineally...
That's ok, let him fuck my daughter while I grab what I can before Absolut Crown takes effect...
Mercs are called, we're breaking our piggy bank...
Who the fuck is this heretic? And why is he carrying 250 gold with him? IMPRISON HIS ASS.
AND TAKE HIS GOLD. AND PLEASE COME BACK AGAIN.
ONE COUNTY TAKEN.
If someone tells me an Orsini will rise to be a Basileus at the start of this campaign, I'd call them insane... but hey... there's a chance of that happening now...
If all goes well, that is. Heck, the Basileus is still young. We better treat him real nice.
16 years after taking control of the Jarldom of Norrland, Frigg, The Valkyrie Who Walks Amongst Mortals, created Valhalla in Midgaard! As soon as her new subjects converts to the norse faith and stop being so uppity, the conquest will continue! Not bad for 3 generations out of a start as an independent chieftain of Ångemanland.
I need to decide on which two duchies to make her core territories however. I'm thinking Finland and Kexholm (going to press de jure claim on it as soon as my levies are replenished). Sadly, her not-so-great father ended up giving away one of the chiefdoms in the kingdom to a sibling and I'm kinda hesitant to revoke it.
I need to decide on which two duchies to make her core territories however. I'm thinking Finland and Kexholm (going to press de jure claim on it as soon as my levies are replenished). Sadly, her not-so-great father ended up giving away one of the chiefdoms in the kingdom to a sibling and I'm kinda hesitant to revoke it.
GarfunkeL
Racism Expert
God-Empress of the North Frigg, The Valkyrie Who Walks Amongst Mortals.
Not a bad name/title-combo :D Eläköön!
Not a bad name/title-combo :D Eläköön!
GarfunkeL
Racism Expert
If I remember correctly, the line on Pdox forums was that you should buy DLC from the same place that you bought the game from.
How do I get my DLC & Mini-expansions?
If you have a Steam version, you get it through either activating a Steam-code if you buy it from anywhere else, or buy it through the steam store overlay in the game.
If you have a GG version, you buy everything through the ingame store, using bluecoins, and it will be downloaded.
How do I get my DLC & Mini-expansions?
If you have a Steam version, you get it through either activating a Steam-code if you buy it from anywhere else, or buy it through the steam store overlay in the game.
If you have a GG version, you buy everything through the ingame store, using bluecoins, and it will be downloaded.
Alright so I've started a new game recently, after buying Sword of Islam and Legacy of Rome. I wanted to try playing a lowly Count, but much to my chargrin, the incomptent king of Croatia decided that granting me a duchy and thus making me own 3/4 of his kingdom was a good idea. I went along with this facade, snapping up new counties in as much as elective succession allowed me to maintain control over them. After a while I noticed that I was doomed to forever remain insignificant, because puny Croatia was surrounded by the huge Byzantium, HRE and SICILY?. I was ready to start a new game, but somehow some Byzantine despot inherited claims to both Croatia and Hungary, with the former being his primary title. So now Croatia has become a regional powerhouse, although the overnight change from a Catholic kingdom to an Orthodox satrapy did cause a lot of problems and blindness among unruly vassals. So yeah, the game is a lot more dynamic now.
Stray observations:
-What the fuck is the deal with republics? Sicily basically took over the Italian peninsula and almost all of North Africa. They don't have any revolts, rebellions and the Doge owns nearly every province in the damn state.
- Are the Mongols still so unstoppable? I never got to their invasions in my previous games, but now only a fragmented Byzantium and Turkey stand between Croatia and the Golden Horde and the Ilkhanate.
- Is it just me, or is there a shitload more wars than in the 1.0 version?
Stray observations:
-What the fuck is the deal with republics? Sicily basically took over the Italian peninsula and almost all of North Africa. They don't have any revolts, rebellions and the Doge owns nearly every province in the damn state.
- Are the Mongols still so unstoppable? I never got to their invasions in my previous games, but now only a fragmented Byzantium and Turkey stand between Croatia and the Golden Horde and the Ilkhanate.
- Is it just me, or is there a shitload more wars than in the 1.0 version?
Fart Master
Savant
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2012
- Messages
- 241
Do you have the latest patch? Supposedly they nerfed merchant republics to the ground.
Average Manatee
Arcane
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2012
- Messages
- 14,959
The DLC files themselves are universal I believe. The issue is that I'm not sure whether any given download service would let you download the DLC alone, or just throw up a warning saying "you can't download this without CK2 registered as well."
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