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Dominions 4 - Pink Natajara

Which era do you prefer?

  • EA

    Votes: 4 26.7%
  • MA

    Votes: 3 20.0%
  • LA

    Votes: 4 26.7%
  • Voting is for democrats!

    Votes: 7 46.7%
  • Aren't you that guy from the First Law Trilogy?

    Votes: 3 20.0%

  • Total voters
    15

Dreaad

Arcane
Joined
Apr 18, 2013
Messages
5,604
Location
Deep in your subconscious mind spreading lies.
red_dwarf_x_trojan_rimmer_face.jpg

My lord your new design
hoplite_12_the_protector_by_wbd.jpg
battle_1.png
outperformed even the DORF4 3.41 model! The council have finally granted you master engineer status!

iron_1.jpg


It was inevitable. My ice crafting skills are the best. I have been chosen by greatness.

red_dwarf_x_trojan_rimmer_face.jpg


Yes master.

iron_1.jpg


What about that new tribe we spotted, have they made their decision?

red_dwarf_x_trojan_rimmer_face.jpg


They payed the tribute like all the rest master!
tribute.png


iron_1.jpg


Excellent. No one in the council can oppose me and with the other tribes cowed I can begin the ritual to summon CHEBURASHKA. Continue with the subjugation of the savages.

red_dwarf_x_trojan_rimmer_face.jpg


As you wish master. What abou......

iron_2.jpg


Get out!
 

KoolNoodles

Arcane
Joined
Apr 28, 2012
Messages
3,545
This thread needs more poetic imagery.

Dry-desert-wasteland.jpg

Some T.S. Eliot to set the mood....

What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow
Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water. Only
There is shadow under this red rock,
(Come in under the shadow of this red rock),
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
KoolNoodles, you see an attractive man wearing fancy clothes on the horizon. He speaks in a strange voice-empowering device. His voice is sweet and raspy.

tumblr_n9xntkuB2T1s755fuo2_1280.jpg


- Jellyfish creatures of the desurt. I am Lord Humungus, the Chosen Warrior of Crystal Meth! From this day I will hunt you and your grandmothers.

nvodglqffw.jpg


The hunt will continue until I am paid by wise and loresome midgets of Gaelinia. If you wish no harm for your grandomother, your only option is to pay me more. I give you five moments to make a key choice.

He lowers the device and waits for your answer.

tumblr_n9xntkuB2T1s755fuo4_1280.jpg
 

KoolNoodles

Arcane
Joined
Apr 28, 2012
Messages
3,545
We've got a wide assortment of fish-like things to offer you, which surely, in the wasteland, is worth more than gold!

7rbiyhupmp_316b5bba_cd7a_d68e_81e3_5f26bb20308e.png


Even Lord Humongous Humungus would be satiated by such a banquet!
 

Caul Shivers

Scholar
Joined
Jun 21, 2015
Messages
125
Location
South Slav Siberia
Gereint.png


The Atlnomians have been dealt with and severely punished Your Majesty. We’ve successfully raided one of their provinces and plundered the bountiful riches of the land. I think it a lesson they shall not soon forget!

Broken%20Land_zps1lt5lhxx.jpg

Eloute.png


That is all good and proper but there is an invading army from Djanris on our very doorsteps.

Gereint.png


We’ve left adequate defenses in the newly conquered Nom Nomian lands and our troops are already on their way home. In as little as four months they will be back in the capital.

Eloute.png


Four months? But we’ll be under siege by the time they get back.

Gereint.png


Not to worry Your Majesty. Elements of the army are still present within the city and they only await your permission to march out and cut these wild dogs in half. Allow me the honor of dispatching these vile slavers personally your majesty, I beg of you.

Eloute.png


Very well, you have my permission.

Beauarte.png


Lord Percy, and just how many troops from the main army still remain in the capital to rid us of these barbarians?

Gereint.png


Ten, inquisitor cardinal Ximenez, sir.

Beauarte.png


Ten... squads?

Gereint.png


No. Ten men.

Beauarte.png


Ah, I see...
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle

KoolNoodles

Arcane
Joined
Apr 28, 2012
Messages
3,545
:salute: FISH ON THE WAY.

Humorous post that was meant to try and save my worthless butt is still in the works. Slightly altered. :lol:
 

KoolNoodles

Arcane
Joined
Apr 28, 2012
Messages
3,545
This is kind of long, and rambling. I'm desperate! :negative:

QRX2Ply.jpg

My Lord! We have been attacked on multiple fronts by treacherous lizards and villainous villains!

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And to make matters worse there's a huge guy decked out in metal contraptions calling himself Lord Humungo or something, right on our border! He threatened poor Bartlby out there! He didn't know what to do so he made some uhhh.....concessions.....

jtTa0YF.jpg


FSFwFKT.jpg

Bartlby that fool! What did he do.....



QRX2Ply.jpg


Nothing much My Lord! Just Fish! He offered Fish....! But Lord Humingus wanted gold it seems. A bounty has been placed on our scales after all.

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We're DOOMED.

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Silence fools! What do the bean counters tell us.....do we have any money?

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Uhh....My Lord we're crunching the numbers here, and uhhh.....if we reduce snail intake by 73% we might be able to uhhh.....oh dear.

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I've got a dollar! I've got a dollar! Please Lord I don't want to diiieeeeeee!

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I will fight Lord Hu-mango! Let me at him!

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Jerry, you are two feet tall, just.....just go back to the gym, and let us handle this. *sigh*

j3GJNLg.jpg

We're DOOMED!!!!

QRX2Ply.jpg

Wait! My Lord! A tribe of OTHER MANLY MEN has just been found and they may be able to offer us assistance. Their leader, a great Lord such as yourself has come forth.
QnGSX7L.jpg

lPjwW09.jpg





FSFwFKT.jpg

Show him to me.

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They call me Conan, mightiest of the mighty! What do you offer Fish Lords? My people yearn for battle.

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Well uhh....we don't have gold, we already offered up all our fish in a move of desperation.....what about trinkets? Everyone loves trinkets!

yDy2Lvx.jpg

....................................

FSFwFKT.jpg

Lord Conan, I offer you and your people freedom. This is something without value, that the other nations cannot offer. We accept Fish Men, Half Men, and Mechanical Half Men into our ranks, so why not REAL MEN? Do you want to end up in slavery Lord Conan? That is what awaits you in the wasteland.
50d8DZd.png




RwwqxCV.jpg

Conan does not need to hear more wise Fish Lord. Conan will be FREE. Conan will FIGHT.
 

Dayyālu

Arcane
Joined
Jul 1, 2012
Messages
4,208
Location
Shaper Crypt
This is the greatest Dominion game I've ever had. The diplo alone is worth it :lol:

Yet, instead of Conan, I would have chosen a more fitting barbarian leader for the Waste Fishies:

yor06bis.jpg


That movie is sheer insanity. The comic is not bad, though (and I'm not going to link the US movie poster as it's terrible)
 

Dreaad

Arcane
Joined
Apr 18, 2013
Messages
5,604
Location
Deep in your subconscious mind spreading lies.
red_dwarf_x_trojan_rimmer_face.jpg

Master I am not sure this is wise! The throne has been guarded by treacherous witches for eons! You took every piece of ice available to create your force, dismantling all the other models for materials! If they fail here....

iron_1.jpg

SILENCE! The DORF4 3.41 model can handle any eventuality, even magic. They are powered by an inexhaustible power supply trough the blessings of Cheburashka. I did not think even you my loyal servant would doubt me during this final test? Check your privilege.

red_dwarf_x_trojan_rimmer_face.jpg

(This fool will waste all out remaining power on his stupid ego. If I do not stop him I will never take control of the council, doomed to be merely an assistant. There'll be nothing left if the other tribes sense our weakness!) Master please, listen, we can come back later, the throne will still be there and.......

iron_1.jpg

SILENCE! *female vioce* Checking LCL energy levels, removing safety protocols, activating IED drives.........

red_dwarf_x_trojan_rimmer_face.jpg

(Noo, I have to use the council override code now before it is too late!) Priority order, shut down, personal code Roderik!!

iron_1.jpg

Fool, you think I can't get around such pathetic ice code crafting? I am the chosen one. Begin the final release sequence!

iron_2.jpg

Activate primary control and weapon systems.

latest


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 minute later.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1400308574-iron-man.jpg


red_dwarf_x_trojan_rimmer_face.jpg

(That idiot is going to get out beautiful icy empire destroyed.) I must flee and tell the council........wait....... that's impossible......

iron1.png


red_dwarf_x_trojan_rimmer_face.jpg


He is.... he really is..... the chosen one?!

iron_1.jpg

Hmmm, damage was minimal, two units internal structure matrices were compromised. I'll have to redesign the chassis for more durability.... Come Roderick, we have work to do.

red_dwarf_x_trojan_rimmer_face.jpg

I.... yes master. (I've waited for so long, a few months more won't matter >=D)
 

Caul Shivers

Scholar
Joined
Jun 21, 2015
Messages
125
Location
South Slav Siberia
eAfSZte8qZmB.840x0.Vdef9Kkm.jpg


Twas a merry night in the Kodex Inn somewhere in the distant deserts. People were drinking excessively to quench their thirst and warm themselves in the cool desert night when a familiar face entered the inn.
“Hah! Bard Smard, you son of a tootles hamster! Sing us a song! You know the one about Lord Humy?”

Bard Smard puffed up arrogantly as befits an artist of his talent. After all he was the best bard in the entire village and all its 37 occupants.
“Forley you son of a halfbred lizard! Do I know the one about Lord Humy? Do Djanrisian women have beards?”

Forely of course had no problem ordering a song by such an accomplished artist. He was, after all, the wealthiest man in the entire village as he had not one but two goats in his ownership.


Is that the song about that attractive man in fancy clothes and the great serpent of Gaelinia?

The innkeeper asked curiously as he spat into a tankard and began cleaning it.

Aye, Lord Humungus, the Chosen Warrior of Crystal Meth and his battle with Sir Rumplesnakeskin Slithers.

So what happened?

They say Lord Humungus saw the Serpent God and then…

Bard Smard began and then made an all too well practiced dramatic pause


What? What!?

Then brave Lord Humy ran away,
Bravely ran away away,
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled,
Yes, brave Lord Humy turned about,
And gallantly he chickened out,
Bravely taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Lord Humy!


Snake%20eats%20Grimwulf_zpscopyzg4y.jpg
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
Meanwhile in Tecaburg

ygzkthpspm.jpg


ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
Lord Humungus is dead.

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Jesse. Back when I asked you to send him claiming nearby provinces, where did you send him instead?

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
I told him to go right there. To the, um... the desert.

esojqqglwr.jpg
Son of a bitch!

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
Whoa whoa. No, this is not my fault, alright? The clicker didn't click.

esojqqglwr.jpg
The WHAT?

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
The clicker! The clicker that clicks when you put the meth inside their dumb heads. To like let you know that the patient is ready to do whatever crazy shit you want him to do. I know that! It didn't click. Look, I didn't go low on the blue stuff or anything, alright? I'm not stupid. Did you hear the clicker click? I did not... It's faulty, it's a faulty chosen warrior.

esojqqglwr.jpg
Is this just a genetic thing with you? Is it congenital? Did your, did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
THE CLICKER DID NOT CLICK and you were the one that made this meth in the first place, REMEMBER?

esojqqglwr.jpg
Yes, I see your point. Your imbecility being what it is, I should have known to say JESSE, DON'T LET HUMUNGUS GO WHERE HE LIKES AND DO WHAT HE SEES FIT!

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
I wanted to leave him here in meth lab. BITCH. Oh, I'm sorry, oh, the "Chosen Crystal City Tecaburg". Jesus.

esojqqglwr.jpg
Okay, just... Alright so, we need to get to the bastards who killed him somehow.

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
Okay. How? Last thing I heard, he was hunting for "midgets" to claim Gaelinia's bounty. Then he saw a great "Earth Serpent" and obviously had to attack it.

esojqqglwr.jpg
Obviously.

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
Then he realized that the bitch was somewhat bigger than a midget and escaped. When they found his body somewhere in Gaelinia, he was dead already.

esojqqglwr.jpg
Look, I feel like I'm running out of ways to explain this to you, but once more I shall try. This Serpent is a major problem for us: It will ruin our batch, and we need to destroy it and every trace of it so we can cook. Failing that, we're dead. There's no more room for error.

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
...

esojqqglwr.jpg
Who messes with the blowfish Jesse?

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
Nobody.

esojqqglwr.jpg
You're damn right.

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
I'm a blowfish.

esojqqglwr.jpg
You are a blowfish. Say it again.

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
I'm a blowfish.

esojqqglwr.jpg
Say it like you mean it.

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
I'm a blowfish!

esojqqglwr.jpg
Yeah you're a blowfish that's right!

ujomqkjcpo.jpeg
Yeah! Blowfishin' this up.
 

Dayyālu

Arcane
Joined
Jul 1, 2012
Messages
4,208
Location
Shaper Crypt
We have been abandoned by the Gods, yet their order lingers through their chosen Vessel, the saviour and master of this world.

Sound and word are at the beginning of every thing, source and process. Without difference in form and meaning, condition of beauty and efficiency of our language, of our song. The song dear to the Gods, words made into verses that enlighten men and make the spirit rise and see the universal spirit of the world.

It has been called Sahityasastra, "Science of Composition", by our forefathers. At once poetry and literature, and in these days, linked with our divine Song. Yet, no more songs these days are about Srngara, love, Hasya, laughter, or Vira, courage. Only Raudra, rage, Bhibatsa, hate, Bhayakana, terror can be understood by our kin in the blasted wastelands.

Yet, we mantain even the older tradition. Who knows, maybe there will be light again. Or we will reach the end, the long sought Vacuity.

Have not our undead Brothers and Sisters arelady reached Vacuity? Their bodies still with us, their minds free of the shackles of perception.

zrtotooolr.png
"
KING! Kiiiing!"

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"Yes, little one? Are you here too to hear the wisdom of the Magi and the Exarchs?"

zrtotooolr.png
"Well, no. I've been sent here by the council of Chieftains. Do you remember, oh King, when the Shadow Guards were sent to pacify a bunch of raiders and bandits on Khaz Dupar? Well, it did not turn out so well.... the bandits were disposed of, their corpses enlightened and employed for the common duties. Sadly, a bunch of lizardmen appeared from nowhere and attacked."

zbhtcmjbsv.jpg
"
Lizards? Their kin survived the end of their beloved swamps?"

zrtotooolr.png
"I guess they are Desert Lizards or something. They were very well equipped, one of their swords is bigger than a Markata!"


zbhtcmjbsv.jpg
"Defeat, then. We need to ask for forgiveness."
zrtotooolr.png
"No, my King. Our Shadow Warriors are some of the greatest soldiers of the land, and their skills about ignoring the need of the Self are great. It ended... poorly for the Lizards. Furthermore, following the fleeing survivors our Shadow Rangers found their hidden city. It's a shadow of the great costruction it must have been, but thousands of the lizards still live in there."

ngnkedjeak.jpg



zbhtcmjbsv.jpg
"A great chance. Should we move in and try to enlighten them about the fate of the world and the Hoburg Scourge?"


zrtotooolr.png
"The council favours to send one of our sacred messengers. With Tecaburg the results were good. Bar of course when Magus Akkarkara sniffed that weird blue thing, that was... improper."

timthumb.php



zrtotooolr.png
"
About other subjects, another group of bandits has been spotted, fleeing from the fishmen of Nom. We have sent our Chosen in pursuit, as they are excited to test the latest Songs we have discovered in the Archives."


zbhtcmjbsv.jpg
"Be it so."
 

Caul Shivers

Scholar
Joined
Jun 21, 2015
Messages
125
Location
South Slav Siberia
The crowd cheered on as Lord Percy returned victories to the capital. Men brofisted him and women threw their knickers at him.

Klaques.png


People flock to Gaelinia to join our even growing ranks as word of the noble Lord Percy’s miraculous victory against Djanris spreads across the entire universe and all the other places.

Beauarte.png


I think you’ll find that the universe pretty much covers everything.

Eloute.png


Soldiers are pledging allegiance to us?

Klaques.png


They like totally are your majesty.

Merc1_zpszrxe2r9o.png
Merc2_zpsxlrc7jb2.png
Eloute.png


How marvelous! Come in Lord Percy, warm yourself by our fireside and have a cup of milk so you can tell us all about this devious, cunning plan you had to stop Djanris.

Gereint.png


Yes your lordship, bottoms up!


Lord Percy gulps down the milk in a single sip and slams the tankard on the table as he swipes his milkstache with the back of his sleeve.


It was not just a cunning plan your lordship, it was a bowelshatteringly good plan!

Eloute.png


Obviously!

Gereint.png



Obviously!
So there we were, and there they were. 200 heathens for every one of our men! Our numbers might have been small but the Lord’s fiery passion blazes inside our chest like a thousand suns. Then the heathen charged!


Eloute.png


Oh how exiting!

Gereint.png


Indeed your lordship! An endless sea of soulless sinners fell upon us like rabid monkeys. They charged wave upon wave with no regard for their own safety.

Eloute.png


What ever did you do?

Gereint.png


Haaa! Here comes the truly devius part if I may say so your lordship. They charged us and then… we killed them all! Hahahahahahahah!!! We hacked and slashed and slashed and hacked until our arms felt leaden.

Battle_zpsoh81pegk.png

Beauarte.png


What a very cunning plan...
 

Malakal

Arcane
Joined
Nov 14, 2009
Messages
8,522
Location
Poland
Guys my internet died (posting from not-home). Postpone next turn for 24h just in case. Thanks and sorry.
 

Mraston

Learned
Joined
Jan 23, 2013
Messages
254
The Sacrificial Engine room is filled with moans and lamentations - the desert grows quiet, Mwuando slain, his army swallowed by unclean men to the South.
Amidst the sobs a whisper grows - a hero has come to the city of the chariot and stands outside the gate.


LlKwhQx.png


He is fishenman accompanied by a holy fuel-fire incarnate. He has three unclean men in shackles. He commands the men into his holy fuel-fire and they burn and scream and crackle.

"Wise oracles of Djanris, see my sacrifice and hear my plea! I hear of your conflict with those that fester to the south. They hunt me and my kind. Our beauty confuses and enrages their simple minds. Take me into your city, give me shelter and peace and I will promise to not rest until King Beaufort himself is burning in your engine rooms!"

A cry of joy rings through the city and the stranger is welcomed.

tumblr_ntgptyJ6Iq1sje9y8o1_500.png
 

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