Dominions Decline 11: The Grimgrinch vs Christmas

[KoolNoodles]

^ This is good stuff.

Still though, elves...don't say anything for two years then you assassinate my poor old mages who are just trying to design some new toys for Christmas. Some of those were funny though, casting twist fate over and over again. Get your ladies some gear man!

Or don't, whatever.

Edit: Also, this is just cruel man. Not even funny.

Spoiler

 

[Dayyālu]

No way this will end well.




The traditional problem with Grimwulf is not that he's aggressive (you should see the diplo convos between me and KN to see aggressive) but the thing is, that he's too.... I'll steal a term from sqeecoo, "reasonable". You can deal with him, and he will keep his word. And in the hellish world of psycho Dominions players, you start to automatically evaluate him as a "least favourite target" 'cause he keeps NAPs, he's good for trading, he's funny in shitposting, he helps you with stuff....

Then you realize it's you and him, and he's big and fuckdammit I lost another game 'cause Grimwulf is already allied with everyone goddammit why he's so charming he's drunk half of the time

I tend to roll like that, and that's probably why I lose so often. I never take a full advantage of my position.

You lost once in 10 games here on the 'Dex! And against Malakal! And Malakal is a weird creature!

Your knowledge of the game is greater than mine by a long shot, perhaps greater than anyone else in this game, but perhaps your diplomacy skills are about as sharp as a tree trunk.

Oh God my sides

Protip: never reveal your Greeet Koalition until the enemy is ded DED DED in the water. Ask Lizzurd what happened to the Coalition he got against me in Decline 10 (apparently it was mostly in his brain, as I'm still alive there). You gloat and cry and beg in private convos, and when the enemy is DEAD, you reveal your hand.

Subtlety and betrayals are the best part of valor!

 

[Isiloon]

SILENCE!

stay dead damn you

 

[Lizzurd]

Protip: never reveal your Greeet Koalition until the enemy is ded DED DED in the water. Ask Lizzurd what happened to the Coalition he got against me in Decline 10 (apparently it was mostly in his brain, as I'm still alive there). You gloat and cry and beg in private convos, and when the enemy is DEAD, you reveal your hand.

Eh. The sole purpose of it was to draw your attention from me, when you started to invade my lands. However you very quickly moved your forces away on your own and this coalition became obsolete, so I was only bothered of it and at some point I decided to reveal it, creating a turbulence in politics and gaining upper hand against Tien Chi.

 

[Grimwulf]

Thread delivers.

I am the least aggressive and the most reasonable player around. You know why I'm the only one who's making demands? That's because everybody else just attacks, and I'm (nearly) always trying to resolve matters with negotiations first. Guess that's why my diplo sucks. But don't you worry, Isiloon - I'll just straight pwn you, no talking involved.

Dayyālu and KoolNoodles are the true diplo masters here, though. Day knows his stuff, probably the best Dominions player I ever seen in that regard. And KN is just a master-manipulator. For some reason, people around ignore the fact that he's playing the strongest EA nation; that he is currently the largest and richest; two steps away from Throne vicotry; has the only global.

No, let's all gang on Grimwulf with his unremarkabe nation instead! This way we can get rekt in a most humiliating way! Yes, let's all stand in his way, so that Mictlan won't have any obstacles and win the game easily!

creating a turbulence in politics

Something created a turbulence in your head later on.

 

[Isiloon]

I have been commissioned to destroy you Grimwulf, but hey, you can bribe me off from attacking you.

Give me 800 gold and 35 death gems and another 20 nature gems so I can make more liquor.

:mrpresident:

 

[Lizzurd]

Something created a turbulence in your head later on.

I am sure everyone attack YOU but not Mictlan because only you brag about your victories. Giants won some fishmen? Let's write about it in the morning newspapers. Sieged underwater capital? It is on the first page! Won the duel against Abyssia? EXTRA ISSUE! Won another battle against them, losing only some chaff? Oh gods, good thing I don't have radio.

 

[Grimwulf]

I am sure everyone attack YOU but not Mictlan because only you brag about your victories. Giants won some fishmen? Let's write about it in the morning newspapers. Sieged underwater capital? It is on the first page! Won the duel against Abyssia? EXTRA ISSUE! Won another battle against them, losing only some chaff? Oh gods, good thing I don't have radio.

That's coz discussing battles is fun. Others don't post their reports not because they don't want to "brag", but simply because it reveals stuff. The less people know about you - the more advantage you have.

Me? I don't care about advantages. I play for fun.

 

[Isiloon]

So do I lol, I find it fun seeing if I can succeed where others failed and kill your overgrown popsicles

 

[Grimwulf]

I have been commissioned to destroy you Grimwulf, but hey, you can bribe me off from attacking you.

So do I lol, I find it fun seeing if I can succeed where others failed and kill your overgrown popsicles

Your derangement might surpass even Lizzurd's. You are Ukrop too, right?

 

[Dreaad]

This thread has drama with people who aren't even in the game

Edit: Since all the secrets are coming out anyway. Anyone say anything interesting about Dreaad in private convo? Who do I complain about you ask? Dayyalu and the water lenses he never delivered in that game a year ago no one remembers

Spoiler

Jokes bro you're a good ally to have. I don't complain about past trades..... that often.

 

[Isiloon]

Ukrop

Here we go the racial slurs come out.

I'm going to crush you, you vodka guzzling communist mongoloid

 

[Grimwulf]

That Fire Bola was all that I needed, Dreaad. I have a hero scout equipped in random shit I get from events and loot.

Bolas, boulders, and a sword. Pwning with style.

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

Edit: Also, this is just cruel man. Not even funny.

Rejoice! While the lesser beings of this world have been bickering amongst themselves, the pious followers of Hvitekrist have closed one gate of hell with the power of prayer. While another group fought against Buer the Goat Sun and his minions, and sent them all back to hell (so that you or Grimwulf can summon him).

 

[Harpsichord]

Still though, elves...don't say anything for two years then you assassinate my poor old mages who are just trying to design some new toys for Christmas.

 

[KoolNoodles]

I did NOT see that many Vanjarls coming(har har).

Well, at least TNN's main army is wiped.

 

[Grimwulf]

I did NOT see that many Vanjarls coming(har har)

Around elves, WATCH YOURSELF.

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

I did NOT see that many Vanjarls coming(har har).

This is a peacekeeping mission to save Tien Chi.

Question regarding game mechanics: did the retreaters from 85 survive? I'm trying to figure whether there is one or several retreat phases in turn resolution sequence.

 

[Grimwulf]

This is a peacekeeping mission to save Tien Chi.

 

[KoolNoodles]

Traitorous scum and villainy, the lot o' yah. Again, a game where I have attacked no one. Even TC struck first. Well, at least I have horrors, they won't betray me.

 

[Isiloon]

So after my first fight with Grim,

His obese giant looks like this after the fight

and you know, that wouldn't be too bad because Grim is a blood nation, so he could cast feast of flesh or whatever it was.

but plot twist, his giant is feeble minded as well!

 

[Isiloon]

However, he did survive and if I hadn't included chaff in my battle using up precious attack positions, then I would have killed the fat giant if not both of them.

My prophet who was a stupid monkey died, my next prophet will be something sexier.

 

[KoolNoodles]

You are nuts. :mrpresident:

 

[Isiloon]

I can keep going Grim, consider that offer I made earlier

 

[Isiloon]

If you make me wait 1 more turn, the deal I offered increases in value, where you have to pay me what I said, but also repay Oceania a compensation equivalent to your earlier extortion.