Dominions Decline 11: The Grimgrinch vs Christmas

[Grimwulf]

Sent a scout to see what's inside Grimwulf's castle and I see this.

Why you'd put protection from arrows shield on the guy who's already fucked up I don't know Grim.

Grim's giants decided that they can't fight me in melee combat and opted to get pew pew lances so they can stand at the back and shoot like cowards.

So much loud words, and now you run? Not only run, but going through Mictlan, hoping that my NAP with turkeys will save you? That's the single most cowardly act I ever saw in Dominions.

You may try to hide behind Mictlan, Vanheim, Abysia and whatnot. Give away your provinces. Hope that Niefelheim won't reach you. Pray for safety. Trot along, chop-chop.

But both of us know that in the end, you will never escape from me.

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

Meanwhile Niefelheim bullies and beats down their neighbors(how soon we forget Oceania) while people cripple a credible check on their power. Have fun losing to Grim again you guys.

What did "The Only Credible Check on Niefelheim's Power(tm)" say when small bands of giants raided a few of his border provinces?

a) "Please, Mister Ice Giant, take my wallet! Just don't hurt me!"
b) "Please, Mister Ice Giant, take my pants! Just don't hurt me!"
c) "Please, Mister Ice Giant, take my provinces, gold and throne! Just don't hurt me!"
d) all of the above

 

[Grimwulf]

What did "The Only Credible Check on Niefelheim's Power(tm)" say when small bands of giants raided a few of his border provinces?

I'm more interested in what did Lanka say for you to take over province 9.

a) "Please, Mister Elf Master, take my provinces and protect me from Niefelheim, I will give you everything I have, dignity included. No, wait, I gave it away quite some time ago. Maybe gems?"
b) ...

No, actually I think that a) is the only possibility here.

 

[KoolNoodles]

That was the most pure snipage by short bows(and one sling!) I've ever seen in a single turn. Three attacks, three (blessed!) Mictlan priests get maximum damage sniped, one got hit twice in single combat round, and one lost his head. Fucking Legolas in that Province Defense. Dominions.....you bitch.

 

[KoolNoodles]

Meanwhile Niefelheim bullies and beats down their neighbors(how soon we forget Oceania) while people cripple a credible check on their power. Have fun losing to Grim again you guys.

What did "The Only Credible Check on Niefelheim's Power(tm)" say when small bands of giants raided a few of his border provinces?

a) "Please, Mister Ice Giant, take my wallet! Just don't hurt me!"
b) "Please, Mister Ice Giant, take my pants! Just don't hurt me!"
c) "Please, Mister Ice Giant, take my provinces, gold and throne! Just don't hurt me!"
d) all of the above

I said "a" credible check on their power, since I bordered them at multiple points(less now! ).

The answer is, of course e) None of the above. "Please, Mister Ice Giant, I'm already fighting the rest of the map, stop advancing so I don't have to worry about another attacker."

Constantly having to shift strategies against multiple different enemies is a losing proposition, regardless of what threat they posed at the time(and well equipped giant thugs is a pretty big threat!).

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

What did "The Only Credible Check on Niefelheim's Power(tm)" say when small bands of giants raided a few of his border provinces?

I'm more interested in what did Lanka say for you to take over province 9.

a) "Please, Mister Elf Master, take my provinces and protect me from Niefelheim, I will give you everything I have, dignity included. No, wait, I gave it away quite some time ago. Maybe gems?"
b) ...

No, actually I think that a) is the only possibility here.

The most obvious answer is that I'm an opportunistic hyena pouncing on smaller and weaker nations the moment they get in trouble. Just like all the other Dominions players.

 

[Grimwulf]

The most obvious answer is that I'm an opportunistic hyena pouncing on smaller and weaker nations the moment they get in trouble. Just like all the other Dominions players.

Yes, that's the most obvious answer. Can't even argue with that legend. Well-played.

Although I will find a way to conquer Lanka, no matter how many nations stand between us.

 

[Isiloon]

I never intended to fight you one on one Grimwulf, when both of my 'allies' were on about some shit like 'remember don't let him break up our alliance and take one each of us 1 at a time, we must fight till the end, or else it will only make him stronger'.

My face when I find out all of them gave you cookies and made a NaP with you.

Fortunately the people of Lanka were wise not to forsake their previous allies, despite calls from Mictlan to do so and these allies have come to help during a time of need.

I still have the satisfaction of hospitalizing your best giant and not paying you shit.

 

[Grimwulf]

As I thought. As soon as you realized nobody is going to protect you, all your ballzy attitude was gone, eh?

Doesn't matter. You are as good as dead.

I still have the satisfaction of hospitalizing your best giant and not paying you shit.

That giant will be healed. And you don't have to pay me - I will take everything from you by force.

 

[Isiloon]

I never had a chance of winning fighting you one on one and there's no shame in that, you have three times as much territory as me, hence I'm not even risking it and walking away so at least my 0 upkeep army can survive and make me more relevant in the future.

So yes when I felt the odds were in my favor I was attacking and when they are not in my favor I walk away and ask my neighbors who have a NaP with you to close the borders on the way out.

Why shouldn't I benefit from other people's NaP? That's diplomacy isn't it?

 

[Harpsichord]

That was the most pure snipage by short bows(and one sling!) I've ever seen in a single turn. Three attacks, three (blessed!) Mictlan priests get maximum damage sniped, one got hit twice in single combat round, and one lost his head. Fucking Legolas in that Province Defense. Dominions.....you bitch.

 

[Dreaad]

Fortunately the people of Lanka were wise not to forsake their previous allies, despite calls from Mictlan to do so and these allies have come to help during a time of need.

Would those be the same allies that attacked our best hope of victory at the absolute worst possible moment and ruined our coordination efforts?

 

[Grimwulf]

Well, fuck. Thanks for killing those indy titans in the middle of my turf, Vanheim. Now I will never Hellbind them.

I will take over the province now.

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

Well, fuck. Thanks for killing those indy titans in the middle of my turf, Vanheim. Now I will never Hellbind them.

I will take over the province now.

It was never yours.

 

[Grimwulf]

It stands between me and Agartha, we can sort it between ourselves. Vanheim is nowhere near. You do not simply claim indy provinces in the middle of another nation.

I'm going there right now, and give you a fair warning to step aside.

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

It's easily reachable by my troops and I can pull income from there. And no one told me of any 'reservations'.

 

[Grimwulf]

Was that an apology? I accept it. Obviously, you were supposed to ask me or at the very least Agartha for permission, not the other way around.

But if you think you can get away with that:

I'm taking it back; topic closed.

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

Seems like I forgot to read the fine print of our agreement.

NAP until turn x (unless Grimwulf gets butthurt; then no NAP)

Or maybe that's just implicitly part of all the NAPs with you.

 

[Grimwulf]

Do you seriously want to use that as an excuse to start a war with Niefelheim? This is ridiculous.

Fine, I will play your game. I will give you a war if want it so much, you have to use that kind of methods. Jeesus. You could simply ask me politely, it's not like I'm against fighting.

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

I'd be fine with keeping our NAP. But if you really try to take my province, that would be violating it. Even if you feel it should be yours.

 

[Grimwulf]

Stop the act - your game is obvious for everybody. Even a man whose eyes are stuck way up his asshole can see that you had no right whatsoever for this province. If it was owned by indies, then it's my business, and my problem. You knew perfectly well that I'm no dumbass, and that kind of "diplo" won't work. I will reclaim it.

Want to call that a NAP violation? Some would say you have a right to do it. For me, you are the one violating it. The Great Lanka Escape was played elegantly enough to let it slip. This? This is foul play, and I am not going to forgive that.

I will ask one last time - will you get out of my terriotry, like a man of reason? Or should I return the favor in kind?

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

you had no right whatsoever for this province. If it was owned by indies, then it's my business, and my problem.

You would have a point if it had been your province previously and had just been taken over by indies. But that wasn't the case here.

 

[KoolNoodles]

 

[Grimwulf]

You would have a point if it had been your province previously and had just been taken over by indies. But that wasn't the case here.

Still refusing to drop the act. Glam has corrupted your very soul, I see.

So be it. Your wish is granted. The giants will march again.

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

Yes, that's the province. My national commanders can reach it from six of my provinces. Truly outrageous outreach.