Review Dragon Age II Review @ Gamebanshee

[VentilatorOfDoom]

Tags: BioWare; Dragon Age 2

<p>Gamebanshee published their own <strong>Dragon Age II</strong> review, which is worse than our own because it lacks funny screenshots, but is otherwise fairly accurate.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>Dragon Age II</em> starts out in parallel with <em>Origins</em>.&nbsp; You play a character fleeing from the destruction of Lothering (which was sacked early on in <em>Origins</em>), but then you make your way to the city of Kirkwall where, a year later (and with all of the events from <em>Origins</em> and <em>Awakening</em> now in the rear view mirror), your adventure starts in earnest.&nbsp; You then do the usual -- you meet up with some companions, you complete some quests, and you learn about the world you're in -- before the game culminates with a major boss battle and you save the day.<br /><br />Unfortunately, the story is about as uninspired as the generic description I just gave for it.&nbsp; There isn't much of a plot (you basically just wander around and complete 150 side quests on your way to the end), your companions are sort of dull (with voice acting to match), and the quests are less than memorable (there are almost no interesting villains; you just defeat hundreds of anonymous bandits and mercenaries over and over again).&nbsp; The game sort of feels like BioWare went to an RPG rummage sale and bought whatever quests and story ideas were available, and then just threw everything together.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><a href="http://www.gamebanshee.com/reviews/102251-dragon-age-ii.html" target="_blank">Read the whole thing here.</a></p>
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<p><em>Rating: sozzier than SoZ out of 10</em></p>

 

[Volourn]

"Finally, I didn't like some of the "twists" BioWare inserted into the story. As with Origins, some of your companions can leave you or die, but unlike Origins, it's more the plot deciding when these things happen rather than you. In the game I played with essentially a lawful good character, I ended up with only one mage who could heal -- and he turned out to be something of a murdering psychopath. My character should have executed him for his crimes, but I was worried about how the end of the game would go if I only had potions (and their extremely long cooldowns) to rely on, and so I reluctantly stayed with him. That just ended up being one more reason out of many why I wasn't happy by the end of the game"

How can anyone take any bullshitf rom this guy seriously when he writes retarted things like that.

Sorry, but story and character wise DA2 wins over DA1. DA2 Anders is a lot more intersting than Awakenings Anders, btw. WQow, he lvos fuckin' cats. STFU! with that cutesy bullshit!


"fights tend to be a mess, and frequently rely on goofy strategies like having one character run around in circles while being chased by enemies until either the rest of your party can finish off the enemies, or else the (lengthy) cooldowns on your health potions and healing spells finally expire."

This is the type of shit I mean. he writes this like its some sort of new concept. This has been true for so many games - DA1 included - that toc ry about it here just reeks of retartadation while you praise other games' combat. R00fles!


T"hey didn't want players to read a line of dialogue and then listen to it being acted, and so instead they adopted a system close to what Obsidian used in Alpha Protocol"

Ohoho... AP not ME series. L0L0L0LLIP0P

STFU loser!


P.S. Butthurt is butthurt but moronicy deserves butthurt responses!

 

[commie]

I wonder why you're not on my ignore list Volly. Maybe cause I have a morbid fascination in seeing just how low homo sapiens can go?

 

[Volourn]

Can't get much lower than the internet.

Try to prove what i posted as wrong? It's impossible.

P.S. The reviewer actually likes DA2.. but, he's still an idiot.

 

[VentilatorOfDoom]

How can anyone take any bullshitf rom this guy seriously when he writes retarted things like that.

Let's have a look at it:

Finally, I didn't like some of the "twists" BioWare inserted into the story. As with Origins, some of your companions can leave you or die, but unlike Origins, it's more the plot deciding when these things happen rather than you.

Is that not true? In DAO you could influence situations where you could possibly lose someone. It was the player's choice. In DA2 the plot decides for you. Or could you do something about the unfortunate demise of your brother, your mother? Could you prevent them from taking away Bethany? Which leads us to the exception, Anders:

My character should have executed him for his crimes, but I was worried about how the end of the game would go if I only had potions (and their extremely long cooldowns) to rely on, and so I reluctantly stayed with him.

Let's take a look at the *vastly improved* spell system: In DAO - which was already lame in comparison to DnD cRPGs - you had healing spells: Heal, Regenerate, Mass Heal, Healing Aura and Life Guardian. Available to all Mages. Additionaly there were different healing potions, each with its own cooldown (thanks god everything has a cooldown nowadays, wouldn't be tr00 roleplaying otherwise). In DA2 you have exactly 2 healing spells. Heal and Mass Heal. If you're Anders. If you're Merrill you'll have zero healing spells because BioWare decided that it would be wrong for Merrill to pick healing spells. Given the long ass cooldown on healing spells and the now *global* long ass potion cooldown I think it's understandable that he was concerned losing Anders for that very reason, especially since it was obvious at that point in the game that you were soon in for some Awesome!! DA2-style bossfights.

As an unrelated note, the retarded global cooldown on potions lead to much hilarity. There were potions of Heroism that granted a damage bonus. There were also potions that kinda replaced the Life Guardian spell in functionality. Now, technically the game allows you to use both potions simultaneously. Except you have to drink the first one, then stare at the monitor for 5 minutes and only then be allowed to drink the second one. Global cooldowns. Wouldn't be very welcoming otherwise I presume.

Sorry, but story and character wise DA2 wins over DA1. DA2 Anders is a lot more intersting than Awakenings Anders, btw. WQow, he lvos fuckin' cats. STFU! with that cutesy bullshit!

What a convincing argument, dipshit. While his love for cats didn't really change there's one thing that was totally different in DA2. He - like so many other male NPCs - immediately spreads his ass cheeks for you - figuratively speaking - which is of course right up your alley, so your excitement for DA2's characters doesn't come as a surprise.

This is the type of shit I mean. he writes this like its some sort of new concept. This has been true for so many games - DA1 included - that toc ry about it here just reeks of retartadation while you praise other games' combat. R00fles!

Name the cRPGs with combat that is usually praised (ToEE, KotC?) that had encounters were you're FORCED to run around the pillars like when fighting the Arishok and wait until your potion or ability cooldown expired. You can't? Then shut the fuck up you drooling fucktard. It wasn't the case in DAO, that's for sure, and I didn't play it on the retard-friendly fagbox version like you, cretin.

P.S. Butthurt is butthurt but moronicy deserves butthurt responses!

That your mom told you you're special after you've finally learned to bind your own shoes doesn't make you an intelligent person. You're pretty much the paragon of stupidity.

Try to prove what i posted as wrong? It's impossible.

You never say anything of substance that needs to be disproven. Not that I expect a peanut-brained hillbilly to understand that.

 

[baronjohn]

repetitive and dull

more than playable

How can it be both? If it's shit just say it's shit. Fucking retard reviewers who think they need to suck the cock of every AAA game no matter how fucking atrocious it is.

 

[Volourn]

"He - like so many other male NPCs - immediately spreads his ass cheeks for you"

No, he doesn't. This is a flaty out lie. And, name these 'many' other male npcs btw.

Bottom line the reveiw is bullshit even if the guy likes the game. He's a retart. You aren't forced to keep Anders. Youc an kill him and complete the game just fine.

TOEE absolutely when the 'ai' *cough* bugbears *cough* decide they want your mage you can just lead him ona merry chase while your warriors gangrape him. This is true for any party based RPG. Just a fact of life.

Hell, it's even true in single character RPGs like Gothic series and ES when you use bows and other shit.


"How can it be both? If it's awesome just say it's awesome. Fucking retard reviewers who think they need to suck the cock of every other game review and act as a parrotno matter how fucking awesome the game actually is."

Fixed.

 

[Brother None]

Bottom line the reveiw is bullshit even if the guy likes the game. He's a retart. You aren't forced to keep Anders. Youc an kill him and complete the game just fine.

Well, retarts aside, that's not what he said. So you're right, that thing he didn't say isn't true.

Volourn at his finest, people.

 

[felipepepe]

TOEE absolutely when the 'ai' *cough* bugbears *cough* decide they want your mage you can just lead him ona merry chase while your warriors gangrape him. This is true for any party based RPG. Just a fact of life.

One thing is to flee combat with your mage, other is to keep running in circles with your warrior waiting for cooldowns. In DA2 you don't fight enemies, you fight cooldowns. And it's worse than MMO's, you just press the shinny button and win (& something awesome happens), no tactics or specific rotations required.

 

[Cynic]

LOL more sozzy than SOZ says it all

 

[waywardOne]

a bit late for this now. they're just piling on.

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

You then do the usual -- you meet up with some companions, you complete some quests, and you learn about the world you're in -- before the game culminates with a major boss battle and you save the day.

Unfortunately, the story is about as uninspired as the generic description I just gave for it.  There isn't much of a plot (you basically just wander around and complete 150 side quests on your way to the end), your companions are sort of dull (with voice acting to match), and the quests are less than memorable (there are almost no interesting villains; you just defeat hundreds of anonymous bandits and mercenaries over and over again).  The game sort of feels like BioWare went to an RPG rummage sale and bought whatever quests and story ideas were available, and then just threw everything together.

Wait, he's lost me. Which BioWare game was he describing, again?

 

[a budda]

achievment unlocked: attempt at reasoning with volly

 

[Jaesun]

That's not really an achievement.

 

[Azrael the cat]

That's not really an achievement.

It's from the Pirahna Bytes school of achievement writing ('idiot - die three times from falling damage').