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From Software Elden Ring - From Software's new game with writing by GRRM

Lambach

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(1) Descend the well-elevator in eastern Liurnia to Ainsel River and explore that area until you reach a boss-fight (Dragonkin Soldier of Nokstella); I completed this in my game much earlier than the initial Siofra area, but I think the intended order is the reverse.

Lulz, I also beat the Dragonkin Soldier way before I realized this area was part of some questline. I was just randomly exploring, got in waaaay over my head, but decided "fuck it, the cunts around these parts drop a lot of Runes and aren't too difficult to kill, might as well press on". You can imagine my surprise after defeating the Dragonkin Soldier (after 2 solid hours) in that arena with a very important-looking giant skeleton hanging above us, that literally nothing happens. I got a Great Glovewort or something or another, but that's it, no further progress. Just beat a Boss, got a bunch of Runes, got an item I can't use (because I was lacking Gloveworts from like +6 to +9 to be able to use the +10 one) and that's that. Zero explanation as to why I'm here, what's the significance of what I accomplished, or what the ever-loving fuck I'm doing in this place to begin with.

And that was one of the many reasons I decided not to indulge FROM in their irredeemable autism and just Google everything.
 

mediocrepoet

Ligma, Brother of Sugma Dixon
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You know, the beginning of Final Fantasy XIII has maps that are literally corridors. You just run in a straight line and do the content. It sounds like that may be more the speed some of you are looking for.
 

Lambach

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You know, the beginning of Final Fantasy XIII has maps that are literally corridors. You just run in a straight line and do the content. It sounds like that may be more the speed some of you are looking for.

Or FROM could, you know, give you a hint as to where Millicent is going to be at next while you're following her quest, instead of expecting you to randomly stumble into a figure 100x40 pixels in size while exploring a map 30 square motherfucking miles in size.
 
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You know, the beginning of Final Fantasy XIII has maps that are literally corridors. You just run in a straight line and do the content. It sounds like that may be more the speed some of you are looking for.
Dark Souls and Sekiro is the speed I'm looking for. Not this endless running around big empty fields that only faggots who hate their free time could enjoy.
 

mediocrepoet

Ligma, Brother of Sugma Dixon
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You know, the beginning of Final Fantasy XIII has maps that are literally corridors. You just run in a straight line and do the content. It sounds like that may be more the speed some of you are looking for.

Or FROM could, you know, give you a hint as to where Millicent is going to be at next while you're following her quest, instead of expecting you to randomly stumble into a figure 100x100 pixels in size while exploring a map 30 square motherfucking miles in size.

You mean like in her dialogues where she tells you where she's going? Yeah, that'd be nice. Might require reading, but it would sure be useful.
 

Lambach

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You mean like in her dialogues where she tells you where she's going? Yeah, that'd be nice. Might require reading, but it would sure be useful.

Where, exactly, in this dialogue does she give you even the vaguest hint she'll be near that particular Grace (Erdtree-Gazing Hill), or anywhere near that general area to begin with:



Stop trying to justify the unjustifiable.
 

mediocrepoet

Ligma, Brother of Sugma Dixon
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You know, the beginning of Final Fantasy XIII has maps that are literally corridors. You just run in a straight line and do the content. It sounds like that may be more the speed some of you are looking for.
Dark Souls and Sekiro is the speed I'm looking for. Not this endless running around big empty fields that only faggots who hate their free time could enjoy.

Look at how efficiently you could explore this. Truly a game for adult gamers that respects your time!

025740.png
 

mediocrepoet

Ligma, Brother of Sugma Dixon
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You mean like in her dialogues where she tells you where she's going? Yeah, that'd be nice. Might require reading, but it would sure be useful.

Where, exactly, in this dialogue does she give you even the vaguest hint she'll be near that particular Grace (Erdtree-Gazing Hill), or anywhere near that general area to begin with:



Stop trying to justify the unjustifiable.

You're kidding right? The first time through, you're going to hit Erdtree Gazing Hill on your own because that's the way you'll almost certainly enter Altus Plateau. From there, you literally see her. Like, if you actually have some minor awareness of your surroundings, you will see her. If you then choose not to talk to her, that's your deal. Similarly, if you can't even be bothered to look around at the areas, please have a look at the map I posted above. It seems tailored to gamers of your... capacity.

After that...
North of the Erdtree-Gazing Hill Grace on the Altus Plateau

  • Ah. We meet again. In truth, it's been smooth sailing, for me. The scarlet rot has stilled, since last we met. As such, I've been able to continue my journey. I realise that if I still had my sword arm, I could have aided you in battle.
If she still had a sword arm? Weird, I wonder if that means anything!?
  • Now, I'm tracing the path Malenia took, after unleashing the power of the scarlet rot, during her battle with General Radahn, in the Caelid Wilds. I should like to meet her, this vanished woman. I think she's in the north. In the lands that lie beyond the Erdtree.
I wonder what direction she might be going. Probably East or something. Fucking Miyahacky.

Near the Ancient Snow Valley Ruins Grace at Mountaintops of the Giants

  • To think we'd meet in such a place... What could your purpose possibly... No, I know well enough who you are, and what I know is good enough for me. Call upon me again in battle, should you have the need.
  • I'm searching for a fort to the north of the ruins. I heard the master of the fort was given a medallion that allowed him to visit the Haligtree. Indeed, I believe that is where Malenia will be found. The Haligtree is hidden somewhere in these Northern lands.
If only I could penetrate this mystery. Fuck me!

Near the Prayer Room Grace at Elphael, Brace of the Haligtree

  • Again we meet. I can only surmise our purposes are aligned. In which case, allow me to explain myself. I am of Malenia's blood. But in what capacity I know not. I could be sister, daughter, or an offshoot... Whatever the case though, I am certain of a kinship between us.
  • There is something I must return to Malenia. The will that was once her own. The dignity, the sense of self, that allowed her to resist the call of the scarlet rot. The pride she abandoned, to meet Radahn's measure.
Who has time to read this meaningless flavour text? SKIP!

After choosing to help Millicent at the end of her questline, laying by the pool near where her summoning sign was

  • Thank you for lending your hand. Without your help, I could not have defeated that quartet. I feel as if I've been in your debt from beginning to end. Thank you. With your help, I was able to live as my own person, if only in passing.
  • But this is where things end. I pause to even tell you, but... I took out the needle myself. Tell whoever put you up to this. That if I am to flower into something other than myself, I would rather rot into nothingness as I am.
  • Please, let me pass alone. The scarlet rot writhes now, worse than ever. Soon, I won't be more than a mound of flesh. Curse-laden. Untouchable. I wouldn't want such a thing to bring you harm.
I wonder if the needle meant anything? Should I look at it? Nah. I'm already bored. Fuck this game and fuck FromSoft. I need to find a game for true gamers that can occupy my enormous brain.

Have you ever been assessed for cognitive defects? I'm only a poet, not a neurosurgeon, but I think there might be something seriously wrong with you. Please send this to your caregiver: https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2000/0215/p1059.html
 

Lambach

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You're kidding right? The first time through, you're going to hit Erdtree Gazing Hill on your own because that's the way you'll almost certainly enter Altus Plateau.

OK, so you admit her dialogue gives you no hints where to meet her after Gowry's Shack? Yes, you certainly seem to admit so, because it's right there in writing, black and white. :D

And you're just assuming everyone will enter Altus the same way you did (which I did not, by the way, I entered it through Ruin-Strewn Precipice) and will follow the exact same route you did, in a vast, open world.

Thanks for confirming that the only people who don't have a problem with Elden Ring's """Quest Design""" are complete autists who can afford to spend 20 hours a day deciphering abject bullshit and examining every irrelevant pixel on a 30 square miles map.
 
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Let him run around collecting flowers for 50 more hours, since he sucks too much to play something like Sekiro. Gamers of his capacity and all that.
 

mediocrepoet

Ligma, Brother of Sugma Dixon
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Let him run around collecting flowers for 50 more hours, since he sucks too much to play something like Sekiro. Gamers of his capacity and all that.
Whatever you say, glorified COD fag.
 

Lambach

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Let him run around collecting flowers for 50 more hours, since he sucks too much to play something like Sekiro.

"Millicent tells you exactly where to meet her for her next quest stage if you actually read her dialogue"
"OK, here's her full dialogue. Where does she give you that hint as to where you're supposed to meet her?"
"HAHAHA, are you kidding me, scrub??? You didn't spend the last 2 months covering your entire mom's basement room in detailed maps of every single ingredient, every single relevant molecule of cum on the map and getting a PhD in The Lands Between Geography like I did? HAHA, go play CoD, kiddo, HAHA!"

:lol:

Full disclaimer: While I may make fun of Aspies like mediocrepoet here, I actually appreciate them very much. It's those kind of people that spend their time putting those guides on the Internet that the rest of us use to avoid going through the same pain of deciphering FROM's schizophrenia.
 

mediocrepoet

Ligma, Brother of Sugma Dixon
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Let him run around collecting flowers for 50 more hours, since he sucks too much to play something like Sekiro.

"Millicent tells you exactly where to meet her for her next quest stage if you actually read her dialogue"
"OK, here's her full dialogue. Where does she give you that hint as to where you're supposed to meet her?"
"HAHAHA, are you kidding me, scrub??? You didn't spend the last 2 months covering your entire mom's basement room in detailed maps of every single ingredient, every single relevant molecule of cum on the map and getting a PhD in The Lands Between Geography like I did? HAHA, go play CoD, kiddo, HAHA!"

:lol:

Full disclaimer: While I may make fun of Aspies like mediocrepoet here, I actually appreciate them very much. It's those kind of people that spend their time putting those guides on the Internet that the rest of us use to avoid going through the same pain of deciphering FROM's schizophrenia.

Nah, it's true you can go the other way to get into Altus, but I doubt most people are going that way their first playthrough just because of how difficult it is to get the other medallion half. But it's true, you could go that way organically. At that point, like I say, she's easily visible from the grace and if you're even kind of exploring the maps, you'll come across that. She stays there basically forever because the quest progressions are so lenient in this game.

I can only point out what the game actually gives you. The self reflection required to consider whether or not you're actually deficient in some regard is on you.

EDIT: Like seriously, I'm somewhat baffled that Multidirectional can read this thread. It's a miracle of biology.
 

Bloodeyes

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I'm loving my STR build so much I'm already planning to take him to NG+ and build something else on top of him rather than respec or restart. Haven't used any larval tears and I'm not planning to.

At level 154 I'll have

Vigor 40
Mind 25
Endurance 45
Strength 60
Dexterity 12
Intelligence 13
Faith 25
Arcane 13

This is currently all done already except endurance and strength. The cool thing about this build is that it gives me a really solid base to either strengthen what it is in NG+ by going to 60 vigor and 80 STR or level a new stat and turn him into something else, while keeping all these stats in place. I want to turn him into something else. Now that he's functioning how I want him to I'm already starting to want to do something new.

Stuff I could do with him:

- Level faith to 30 and mind to 35-40 then level intelligence for the rest of the playthrough. This would work as either a Golden Order build or a necromancer using the prince of death's staff. Or have one in each hand though that seems odd from an RP perspective. Adding INT would also give me access to a lot of weapons like the ruins greatsword.

- Just level vigor, mind and faith. Have more of an even split and keep using the clawmark seal. So I'd have all the incants except the INT ones. Probably won't do this. Too similar in playstyle to pure faith which I've already done.

- Level DEX and go for a quality build. Trade in the greatsword for Giza's Wheel. I haven't checked but I think incant scaling on the Golden Order seal would probably exceed the clawmark if I did this and conceptually I think the wheel matches better with golden order than necromancy. It's a golden wheel. Golden order, golden wheel. It fits. Only downside is with no INT he wouldn't actually be able to cast Golden Order spells.

- Level arcane and try a blood greatsword. It sounds stupid but I've seen a video of it done and it actually looks amazing. The dude is even using one of my favorite ashes, giant hunt. That's a bleed build I could actually be good with and perhaps I'd finally get to see what all the fuss is about.

I'm pretty torn between the quality, STR/INT and STR/ARCANE options. No idea which I'll pick.

I'm a long way from being done with this run BTW. I'll need to unequip the Golden Scarab soon as I'm starting to feel pretty over levelled for what I'm doing. I'm not even in the capital yet, still hoovering the map clearing all the dungeons.

I utterly curb stomped the gargoyle in Dragon Barrow. My jump attack damage is wonderful, especially when I buff with Golden Vow and Flame Grant me Strength, two hand my weapon, use determination and then jump attack. The Berserk greatsword is level 20 now and I'm just fucking everything up with this tactic. Still wearing the Raptor's black feathers, still using the claw talisman. That's a lot of buffs stacking on an already strong weapon. But it needs to be more. I must acquire Royal Knight's Resolve. With my +10 Black Knife Tiche distracting I aim to jump attack Melania into next week. It's going to work.
 

Lambach

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Let him run around collecting flowers for 50 more hours, since he sucks too much to play something like Sekiro.

Nah, it's true you can go the other way to get into Altus, but I doubt most people are going that way their first playthrough just because of how difficult it is to get the other medallion half. But it's true, you could go that way organically. At that point, like I say, she's easily visible from the grace and if you're even kind of exploring the maps, you'll come across that. She stays there basically forever because the quest progressions are so lenient in this game.

I can only point out what the game actually gives you. The self reflection required to consider whether or not you're actually deficient in some regard is on you.

EDIT: Like seriously, I'm somewhat baffled that Multidirectional can read this thread. It's a miracle of biology.

I'm still not seeing any counter-evidence to my claim that most quests are indescribable gibberish that you can complete only by randomly stumbling into quest objectives by exploring every molecule on the map like a complete jobless autist. Millicent is merely one example out of many.

You're still claiming "well, if you randomly did things the way I did them, it would be obvious to you", but you offer 0 examples in how it makes sense narratively, you offer 0 examples in how the game itself guides you to them without meta knowledge, how you can discover them without being an obsessive, micro-detail OCD Aspie etc.

In short, you're wrong and completely fucking retarded. This game does many, many things right, but quest design it does not. In fact, it's abject fucking dogshit.
 

mediocrepoet

Ligma, Brother of Sugma Dixon
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Let him run around collecting flowers for 50 more hours, since he sucks too much to play something like Sekiro.

Nah, it's true you can go the other way to get into Altus, but I doubt most people are going that way their first playthrough just because of how difficult it is to get the other medallion half. But it's true, you could go that way organically. At that point, like I say, she's easily visible from the grace and if you're even kind of exploring the maps, you'll come across that. She stays there basically forever because the quest progressions are so lenient in this game.

I can only point out what the game actually gives you. The self reflection required to consider whether or not you're actually deficient in some regard is on you.

EDIT: Like seriously, I'm somewhat baffled that Multidirectional can read this thread. It's a miracle of biology.

I'm still not seeing any counter-evidence to my claim that most quests are indescribable gibberish that you can complete only by randomly stumbling into quest objectives by exploring every molecule on the map like a complete jobless autist. Millicent is merely one example out of many.

You're still claiming "well, if you randomly did things the way I did them, it would be obvious to you", but you offer 0 examples in how it makes sense narratively, you offer 0 examples in how the game itself guides you to them without meta knowledge, how you can discover them without being an obsessive, micro-detail OCD Aspie etc.

In short, you're wrong and retarded. This game does many, many things right, but quest design it does not. In fact, it's abject fucking dogshit.

Ok bud. You're still my special guy.

But Lambach Multidirectional I know you guys didn't like my FF13 suggestion. And fair enough, it is a JRPG after all. But have you tried Bioware's games!? They're great for guys like you!

You could miss some content, but it's hard. I'm sure you'd manage it, but, well... yeah, they should really remove that branch for 03 and just put it at the mouth of the branch leading to 04, eh? Hit me up if you need any more suggestions about games that are tailored for pro-gamer fellas like yourselves.

dragon-age-2-outside-lothering-map.jpg
 
Last edited:

mediocrepoet

Ligma, Brother of Sugma Dixon
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Man I did not expect that my comment about you sucking at Sekiro is gonna produce this level of butthurt. Not that I mind.
Right. "You replied to me, must be butthurt hurrrr." :roll:

Anyway, yes, I think you're a moron and a whiner. You think that's a badge of honour? Cool. But PM me if you want further details of that, this thread has been derailed enough by it.
 

Lambach

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Ok bud. You're still my special guy.

Point me towards a single line of dialogue in which Millicent says she'll be waiting for you anywhere in the general Altus area, while also claiming that NPC dialogue lets you know where you need to go in order to advance their quests.

Go ahead, Aspie. Prove me wrong. Use those hundreds of hours you spent playing Elden Ring as if it was your day job to prove how wrong I am. :lol:

Oh, and while you're on it, can you also explain another bizarre example of FROM's """quest design"""? Why does that Jar guy, Alexander, explicitly mention:

  • But oh, it's hardly more than lukewarm here. I won't be able to temper my body such that it'll never crack again.
    Perhaps I'll head eastward. There's an old saying I've caught wind of.
    "Above the lofty clouds, the icy giant's peak doth soar, here lieth the flame of ruin, which ever burning roars.


But you can't actually meet him to continue his Questline in Mountaintops of the Giants (other than as a Summon), but you have to randomly stumble into him in Crumbling Farum Azula instead?

Almost as if FROM are just as autistic as you and twice as incompetent at designing actually coherent narratives and character arcs or something.
 

mediocrepoet

Ligma, Brother of Sugma Dixon
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Ok bud. You're still my special guy.

Point me towards a single line of dialogue in which Millicent says she'll be waiting for you anywhere in the general Altus area, while also claiming that NPC dialogue lets you know where you need to go in order to advance their quests.

Go ahead, Aspie. Prove me wrong. Use those hundreds of hours you spent playing Elden Ring as if it was your day job to prove how wrong I am. :lol:

Oh, and while you're on it, can you also explain another bizarre example of FROM's """quest design"""? Why does that Jar guy, Alexander, explicitly mention:

  • But oh, it's hardly more than lukewarm here. I won't be able to temper my body such that it'll never crack again.
    Perhaps I'll head eastward. There's an old saying I've caught wind of.
    "Above the lofty clouds, the icy giant's peak doth soar, here lieth the flame of ruin, which ever burning roars.


But you can't actually meet him to continue his Questline in Mountaintops of the Giants (other than as a Summon), but you have to randomly stumble into him in Crumbling Farum Azula instead?

Almost as if FROM are just as autistic as you and twice as incompetent at designing actually coherent narratives and character arcs or something.

I've said more than once that From quest design is shit. You just happened to pick elements that weren't. People who are reasonably intelligent have concepts of nuance and discussions that aren't taking extreme positions. Then there are guys like you two.
 

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