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EU4: Demise of Western Civilization or how I learned to love the machete

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Hint: Despite massive AI bonuses, such as double manpower, tax income and forcelimits, muslim factions get double that as well. In case you see 200k armies right off the bat, remember, it's a feature!:troll: Same with the big missionary bonus. I also raised forcelimits for the player a bit but that is as far as I went, with a measly 0.3 compared to the 2.0 for Islam.

Also, should things get too easy at some point I'll hold a vote for switching to a different faction.
Time to get stuck in then.


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Yurop is on the brink of extinction. Despite the painful process that later became known as the Komnenian Restoration, the kebabs of Rum overtook the entirety of the middle east and ranged as far as Ethiopia, bringing the last oriental orthodox kingdom beneath the crecent. United by the religion of peace and rich with plunder, they were able to easily overrun the remnants of Armenia and Georgia, their catapults firing well into the night.

Their enemies simply stood no chance against the numberless hordes and were inevitably enriched brought into the fold of Islam.

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A closer look at the region will reveal the staggering amount of expansion routes open to the sultan. Beyond the Indus lie the Djinn-Worshipping, rich Hindu cities, ripe for sacking and conquest. To the south lie the scattered muslim black kingdoms, always an easy and tempting target, positioned as they are near rich gold mines.

And last but not least there is the black sea, held by the newly formed kingdom of Taurica as well as the resurgent Byzantine Empire, the last outpost of western civilization in the rising sea of thronging islamic dongs orthodox state in the east.

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The west also teeters on the brink as the massive Almoravid Caliphate marched out of northern africa and conquered Iberia, spilling out of the Pyrenees and subjugating Acquitaine and reaching the western gates of italy. Only the massive kingdom of Lotharingia stands in their way, but with the Holy Roman Empire beginning to dissolve into intrigue and civil wars, it is unlikely that they will be able to stop the inevitable fall of northern France.

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Further east the kingdom of the Rus has risen, spreading the norse faith with fire and axe to the slavs with only the duchy of Vitebsk and a balkanised baltic penisula to stand against them.

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Lastly, the heathen north has managed to resist the process of undomesticated snowman-ism, with Poland and Pommerania remaining the last defenders of the old slavic faith and the Scandinavian norse fighting among themselves for dominion.

All things considered, it is a dark time for Europe. Islamic world domination might be inevitable as is the beheading of those who would insult the religion of peace. But even in these perilous times, there is still hope.

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A desperate counter-attack is being prepared against the hordes. Although a massive army by late medieval standards, it pales in comparison with the numberless hordes that the Sultan of Rum can mobilise. But hampered by it's size that mobilisation might be a long time coming, time enough to seize the kurdish passes and fortify them against the endless rape gangs that will inevitably arrive.
 
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Part 1: Pictish Martial Arts

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The counterattack is about to commence and the stolen clay returned.

This could pit the Empire against both muslim superpowers, but the brave patriots will not afraid of the islam wizard.

SUFFER NOT THE KEBAB TO NOT BE REMOVED

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To say that the odds are stacked against the brave legions of the empire would be an understatement. The only bright spot is the our naval superiority, so bloacking the enemy should give us a bit of an advantage.

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The rape gangs arrive and begin to besiege Phoenicia. Luckily for the defenders, a great general has arisen to meet the threat and will make all haste to relieve them at the head of the 4th Legion.

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The kebab flees terrified, knowing that removal awaits them.

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But it appears to be a ruse as overwhelming hordes of sandniggers arrive to assault the gallant legionaires, who nevertheless stand their ground in the face of the enemy. ((ai didn't upgrade their military tech for some reason, weird)

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The 1st and 2nd legions are quickly ordered to march to their assistance. The 4th must simply hold on long enough for the reinforcements to reach them and tip the balance in their favor.

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The legions manage to hold on, barely and the kebab begins to lose heart as the prey becomes the predator.

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A great victory is won in the sands near Damascus, with more than half the massive sandnigger horde lying dead on the battlefield, the rest fleeing for dear life.

22 JUNE 1448 NEVAH 4GET

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Another muslim army, albeit small, is surrounded and slaughtered in the Taurus mountains.

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The victorious legions now march to relieve Antioch.

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They strike at the heart of the enemy, murdering most of their infantry and putting the rest to flight.

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What could you expect from the scum that would hand the east to the kebab on a platter in an alternate timeline? We will be back for them later.

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With the 4th Legion sent to replenish it's deplete ranks, the 1st and 2nd are sent in to purge the remaining itzlamic army.

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The infantry pushes on depite the casualties, shattering the enemy formation and allowing the cavalry to fall amongest them, buchering a great deal in the rout afterwards.

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The 5th Legion uses some truly prosperian diversionary tactics to trap this kebab stack against the black sea and throw them off the cliffs.
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The 3rd Legion manages to trap another army inside the imperial hinterland and when the 5th arrives to support them the battle is already decided.

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More kebab hordes are caught and routed by each victory becomes costlier and costlier and the war begins to take it's toll on the outnumbered patriots while the sandniggers have entire unwashed masses to call upon.

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The rumours of what the population suffered at the hands of the machete rape gangs was supressed for morale reasons.

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In vengeance, the trapped sandnigger horde was chased to extinction, dissolving completely.

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Eager for more wimminz to rape, the sandnigger brigades penetrated deeper and deeper and thus a trap was sprung.

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Same in Antioch, which would not be allowed to fall, serving as an excellent killing ground for overextended kebabs.

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It was a hard fought battle, but the 3rd Legion muddled on magnificently, routing the kebabs despite suffering heavy casualties.

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The trap in the north did not work as well as before however, the ambushers suffering losses as heavy as the ambushed. But the overall impact on morale could not be ignored.

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:salute: The brave patriots of the 1st Legion fought as hard as they could but their commissar was forced to order a withdrawal and the decimated survivors began their desperate retreat beneath the cover offered by the 2nd.

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The Emperor was forced to call the 4th out of the reserves to assist the 3rd against the overwhelming hordes that it found itself fighting.

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A phyrric victory was all that could be achieved, the cavalry suffering destructive losses as they tried to outflank the horde repeatedly.

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Gee, I wonder who could be behind this.

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:FretRider:


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Despite the victories, the manpower reserves were being rapidly depleted and even the complete destruction of another horde could not reverse the overwhelming odds stacked against the legions.

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The 5th siege of Aleppo was the last straw. The sandniggers seemed to have endless reserves (PROTIP: They do) and they would accept no concessions.

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For they knew that the legions could not keep up the pace while fresh recruits awaited them wherever their retreat was halted. Mathematics are merciless in that regard.

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With their war capacity still high and their manpower reserves intact, there was no way a besieged ERE could hold the tide.

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Thus a truce was signed, the best imperial diplomacy could do under the circumstances. But the lessons learned in this war were indeed critical.

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The legions would need to regroup and take on the offensive immediately and the manpower pool would have to be expanded to allow for a bigger number of recruits to flock to the standards and keep legionary strength at optimum for a great amount of time.
 
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Part 2: Trust a Kraut, see them rout

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In other parts of Yurop far and close: Russkies are pounding Taurica, spilling across the border in their seemingly endless bands and the Holy Roman Emperor complexic kraut roman-wannabe tries to centralise the empire.

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I'll just decide to tackle the only thing standing between me and islamic cultural enrichment
-Soon-to-be-anally-ravaged popemole roman fanboi

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Like a tide of niggers they begin swarming across the border, laying siege to several provinces. They are so many that their supply lines collapse overnight, losing many men to attrition. Manboons gonna manboon.

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Why do you hate God? Why does Kraut insist on attempting to steal clay? That' around 170k men they have over there. Imagine how much better they would be used against the islamic rape hordes in the west.

But if the degenerate snowniggers prefer rape, why not oblige them?

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The Imperial plan is simple. Concentrate forces against their smaller armies deep inside our territory and chase them to ahnilation. So far it seems to be working.

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While more kraut armies dissappear from the map forever, treacherous pastaniggers attempt to jew our lands. At least with kebab you know where you stand.

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The second phase of the operation now begins, with the 1st and 5th concentrating against the army in Slavonia and the rest marching to purge Dalmatia.

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Both battles are resounding victories, leaving only the bigger kraut armies still inside our territory.

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With the survivors chased down and destroyed the final phase of Operation Clean Croatioa is about to start.

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The Krauts combine their forces into one huge army while the Legions prepare to attack from multiple directions.

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The legions begin their march, the kataphracts skirmishing with what few outriders the krauts had while the bulk of the infantry prepared to storm their positions.

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The Emperor himself would lead the attack to ensure that incline would be had this day.

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The initial shock of the cavalry charge devastated the enemy horsemen, causing them to rout and leave the flanks of their footmen unguarded. Now the legions would storm the enemy lines.

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The battle was another bloody triumph, in the typical Komnenian fashion. Leading the famous WCDS Legion, the Emprah purged the race traitors without mercy, shattering their great army and leaving it a remnant of what it once was for a much smaller loss to his own force.

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Cleanups on a smaller scale took place after the major engagement but the war had already been decided beforehand. Their people exhausted by war and their once numerous armies slaughtered en masse and fleeing to the corners of their kingdom, the Kraut Kaiser would have no choice but to concede defeat.

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Reperations were payed, money that would go into financing the upgrading of the provincial military infrastructure to ensure that more men would be available for the legions.

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But since only those with an acceptable amount of Neanderthal genes could enroll in the glorious legions a lot of recruits had to be turned down.

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:salute: One of the greatest patriots and Kebab removers of our time passed away, having served the Imperium to the best of his abilities, winning amazing victories on the eastern front. Another Warrior of Diversity joining the ranks of the glorious dead.

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While the reserves were being replenished the Rus attacked and overran most of reconstituted Lithuania, while Potatoland was being swallowed up by Bohemia, Hungary and Brandenburg. The last vestiges of the slavic faith were slowly being destroyed.

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While in the west France was slowly but surely being penetrated by the religion of peace, tens of thousands beheaded for allegedly insulting the prophet. The Kings of Decline, namely Lotharingia, did nothing to assist their brothers in faith during the asspounding.

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Surprisingly, the followers of Perkele had united Finnland and conquered the pagan followers of Perm, but were now sandwiched between the two most powerful norse nations, Sweden and the Rus.


Now, with the reserves finally intact, the legions would march against the kebab once again and hope for a better result.
 
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Due to durka durkas having a complete shit techgroup despite the massive buffs I gave them, I am gonna restart the game and give them the ottoman tech group while making westernisation significantly easier. (not gonna westernise as byzantium)

It started becoming too easy for westerners to mop the ground with them once they unlocked condotta infantry.
 
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Here we go again.

Part 1.01

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The hordes approach.

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5 Legions might be a sad amount of troops compared to the sandnigger masses, but superior leadership and morale should give us an edge. (empires get extra morale as do byzantines with their national ideas)

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The 1st and 2nd will hang back to support the others in case the kebab decides to focus against them.

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The first engagement is successful as a somewhat outnumbered and poorly led mob is slaughtered, the pathetic remnants fleeing to the hills.

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But the sandnigger tide hits the levant and Antioch with reckless abandon with reinforcements arriving from Mosul as well. They ignore their own garrisons and concentrate on raping the innocent populace, a critical flaw in kebab psychology that we were unable to predict.


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They abandon Dulkadir as the legions approach it and arrive with reinforcements later on.



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TIME TO REMOVE



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The battle was going well until more and more sandniggers begun to arrive, to the point where their numbers surpassed 100.000. The brave patriots of the 2nd and 3rd Legions fought bravely, taking 4 down for each of their own but for all their valor 10 more rose to take their place, the screams of Allahu Akhbar echoing well into the night. The situation soon became hopeless and a withdrawal was ordered.

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This cataclysmic defeat allowed the hordes to spill over into Anatolia, raping as they went. The rest of the legions had to be recalled.

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The 4th and 5th were ordered to re-occupy Dulkadir and cut the hordes in two. Once the 1st and 2nd rallied a renewed offensive would clean the north before moving on to the south.
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The defenders of Antioch fought to the last but little could stop the huge kebab legion as they used the mountains of their own dead to scale the walls.1
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But their desire to machete rape overruled all strategic thought and they soon found themselves scattered across Asia Minor. The time for revenge had come.

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The cleansing started off with resounding success as their retreat took them deeper and deeper into our territory, delivering them into the hands of the legions.

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Much kebab would be removed this day, their offensive scattered to the winds.

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As the black sea was now clean of all sandnigger presence, the attacks on Kappadokia would soon commence.

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A general offensive was planned, aiming for the complete removal of all stink rum infesting Anatolia.

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The army at Anatolikon was routed and chased down all the way to the Aegean coast, leaving the combined horde at Seleukeia cut off and surrounded by 3 Legions.

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They would not be allowed to escape.

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They were dislodged from their positions and sent fleeing towards the western coast. The legions gave chase.

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It would be a sad and depleted force that would make it out of the rout.

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REMOVE KEBAB FROM ALL PREMISES

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The cleanups would be successful in time, time bought with the fall of the Levant to the hordes.

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And the liberation of Antioch was soon approaching.

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Anatolia was now free of all Itzlamic taint, leaving only Dulkadir with a concentration of kebab.

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But that would soon be rectified.

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Antiohc was liberated and the sandniggers were finally driven out of Asia Minor. The war decisively turning in our favor.

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But Rum was far from beaten as more and more sandnigger legions were mustered and sent forth to die.

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Will this ever end? For everyone who fell, 10 more would take his place.

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But there was no time to despair. Once again the muslims would be driven out of Dulkadir.

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And the Levant would be liberated, but not before a massive horde was sent to assault Antioch once again.

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The Legions would assault their position and sent them fleeing but this was no rout.

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Nevertheless they would be chased down.

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The battle would be hardfought as more and more kebab would arrive but they would fall upon the disorganised masses of their comrades who were being smashed by the brave patriots rallying beneath the legionary standards.

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It was a glorious triumph, the kebab removed in their tens of thousands, whole legions of them sent to fertilize the grounds around Antioch and Damascus.

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Soon after that they had lost the stomach to fight and the areas around Kurdistan soon fell to a renewed offensive.

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It was a glorious victory, with Armenia finally liberated from the shackles of itzlam and an astounding number of kebab removed.

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:incline:

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But western Yurop was divided in the face of the Almoravid threat. The libruls of France would be the first to fall as there was no need for muslims to spread the decline, they could clearly do it on their own.
 
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No one is bumping, might as well keep updating.

Part 2.01: 1001 reasons why overextension sucks

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The Krauts keep fueling the fires and escalating the tension at the austrian-croat border and we all know what that means.

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PROTIP: It ain't happening.

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In a similar turn of events, the Poland of this alternate universe is also being partitioned between Hungarians and Ruskies with the Berlin Krauts circling like vultures to take apart whats left.

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The HRE is on greased rails to unification and the manboons of Tuscany-Saxony don't even know what they don't know.

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In other news this was one of the shortest peasant uprisings in history, much good may it do them. ((In my test game France managed to overcome Lotharingia then conquer as far as Andalucia.))

Also notice the polish partitions to the north.

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In these dark and trying times of ITZlam the Emprah and the Church must be united in the face of HERESY less race traitors give the imperium to the muslims in a golden platter.
((More patriarch authority means more manpower and less taxes and manpower is gonna be far more important than money in this monstrosity of a mod)


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To keep the money flowing a law is passed prohibiting the sale of the 'liquid jew' except for state-licensed merchants. That would surely cause a lot of butthurt and

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but the sale of those licenses would make the state a nice amount of profit.

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No one but dumbfucks and people with far too much time on their hands would care about such banal shit. Let them have their reform, or we could end up with situations like these:



:mhd:

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The first steps were taken towards what would become known as the Free Market that would cause much incline or butthurt, depending on who you ask, but such things are irrelevant when you discover Krauts trying to claim your clay. Legions would be mobilised to the west for a potential pre-emptive strike against them.

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In a somewhat surprising but welcome turn of events, the two kebab collossi were at war with each other, leaving the Empire with a free hand on it's eastern borders.

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Which of course meant that it was high time the Lothaniggers were taught a lesson and our austrian clay retaken for great justice.

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War was beginning and as expected, Kraut hordes came swarming across the border, much like the kebabs did when they invaded Anatolia. Coincidence?

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The plan was simple yet effective. They would be drawn in and face a superior force of concentrated legions then chased down and, if deprived of support, anhilated completely. After their forward forces were defeated, the legions would move on to engage the bulk of their armies in west croatioa.

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The dalmatian coasts would soon be free of taint and then the legions stationed at Serbia would advance north as well.

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The germans staged a full scale retreat after they lost around 50000 men in the south, leaving only a token cavalry force to halt our progress in Bosnia. None of them survived.

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The 4th Legion destroyed whatever remains were left of their once mighty army and now sufficient forces were available for a full scale offensive to drive them out of imperial soil once and for all.

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It would puzzle imperial commanders for quite some time as to why 30000 men remained in Donji-Kraji while their comrades were being raped just a few miles to the west but as facts would later prove that was typical kraut behavior.

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Finally, a force compromised of 4 full legion would fall upon those 30k men, lead by the Emprah himself. Victory was certainly assured.

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The enemy rout was so complete that they were sent fleeing deeper into imperial territory rather than the safety of their own lines.

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Zagreb would fall and the massive kraut army would be split between Lika and Slavonia, while a half-assed offensive would hit the legions at Kraji.

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More krauts armies would be eradicated as they were cut-off and deep inside byzantine territory. It was happening in such frequency that even with the occupation of Zagreb the war was decisively turning in our favor.

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It would take a month for the legions to redeploy and storm the german positions at Slavonia.

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It would be a hard battle as the legionaires had to cross the river to attack the well entrenched enemy army, resulting in heavy casualties for both sides. But in the end the siege was lifted.

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The liberation of Zagreb was now underway while a significant Kraut force attacked a single legion that had taken position at the mountain passes linking Italy to the Balkans. The 7th was scrambled to support them.

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The germans pulled out with heavy losses once they heard that reinforcements were underway but the 4th had taken a battering and had to be relocated to the reserves to recover for a month or two.

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But the Lothaniggers were not done with Lika yet. The 7th soon found itself in the same position, the target of a major offensive as Kraut reinforcements kept pouring in from Istria.

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However the famous 1st Legion that removed so much kebab on the eastern front arrived just in time to turn the battle in favor of the Emprah and cause the enemy crippling losses, particularly to their cavalry.

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Zagreb was liberated and now sufficient forces were free to undertake the promised offensive into Austria. But the germans beat the empire to the punch and launched an assault over the Danube towards Varasd, occupied by the men of the 3rd Legion.

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Much like last time, support arrived soon enough to turn the enemy offensive to shambles. Over half the enemy force was lost for laughable losses on the imperial side.

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ITZ was coming to Austria, with most Lotharingian armies either destroyed or routed.

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Whatever forces remained for the defence of the eastern marches were smashed aside and the sieges began in earnest.

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The only major naval engagement of the war saw the imperial fleet smash the lotharingian one off the coast of Cyprus, consigning them to port for the duration of the conflict. Byzantiun would rule the waves.

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It was time to move on.

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The prime target of the war was the incredibly rich trading city of Vienna. A massive kraut counterattack would put those plans in the back for a while however.

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Their situation would soon prove hopeless and they would withdraw in good order, losing a small portion of their men, at least compared to the previous slaughters in the balkans. Mountains of corpses were making their generals learn their trade it seems or they simply did not have many men left to throw around recklessly.

Either way, the war was as good as won now.

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Better that than HERESY so it's all good imo.

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Attacking a force with superior morale over rivers and mountains. :retardo:

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Vienna fell and the last significant Lotharingian army was dealt a bitter defeat. Whatever little hope they had left of salvaging something out of this war was wasted away in that last offensive.

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Despite the last results, they attacked again, resulting in another one-sided slaughter.

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They were forced to the peace table, their armies shattered and their people exhausted by the conflict. Most of the eastern marches were now in imperial hands.

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Holding them though would be an entirely different matter. Revolts would become endemic in the coming decade as the imperial bureacracy struggled to intergrate these new provinces.
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But that would turn out to be the least of our worries.


Okay, how the fuck do spoilers work? This nigger won't let me implement a single one.
 
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PART 3: 1002 REASONS WHY YUROP DESERVES ENRICHMENT

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The snowmens-kebab hordes have us outnumbered once again but due to our central position we are able to concentrate our efforts on one foe and crush him like skull of pig.

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To lessen the effects of overextension the empire sold some of the gains from the previous war back to Lotharingia, ending up 1200 shekels richer and a few tens of thousands of rebels poorer so it's all good.

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To shield the east from the ravages of the Kebab, the 5th Legion is tasked eastwards, leaving two legions to hold the front against the endless hordes. The brave patriots know what is at stake and will fight to the death to protect byzantine clay.

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In the west the legion from italy will be transported by the fleet to the Balkans, bringing the total forces there to 5 legions. Italy will have to hold against the armies of Tuscany on it's own for now.

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A small bohemian force is trapped and destroyed which is always a good thing since it means less chances of any DayZ butthurt in this alternate universe.

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The Hungarians are a wholly different story however. Being so close to the border they can raid and siege the outlying forts then retreat back to the heart of their own country, away from retribution.

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An entire army of undomesticated snowmens decided to descend all the way from the north, only serving to prove the depths of the butthurt byzantium has caused across the known world.

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It was a phyrric victory with high casualties on both sides, surely caused by the huge concentrations of enemy artillery, a novel approach to warfare.

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A single legion, specifically the 7th, would be caught alone and far from help in Istria and forced to retreat with a good amount of losses. More and more coalition troops would arrive into the balkans, reversing the overall balance of forces radically.

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But the brave patriots of Rome would keep fighting despite the odds, routing then chasing down the armies of the kebab-snowmen alliance without mercy or respite.

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While the bloodshed was without end in the Balkans, Tuscan troops had advanced throughout Italy unopposed, having ample time to besiege the fortifications and seize the cities. No relief forces could be spared for this front.

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After two major engagements with enemy artillery, byzantine commanders saw the potential in this new weapon and started reforming the army to meet and employ this new threat.

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Two major victories would ensure that the enemy would not advance further south from croatia, but any decisive blow could not be dealt as the enemy retreated with all haste back to their own lands.

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Not all would be as fortunate however.

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A new wave of counterattacks would follow, with huge armies of mixed nationalities at the helm, attempting to lift the siege of Varasd. The snowmens attacked over river crossings and payed dearly for each meter of ground taken.

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After the bloodbath in the balkans that drained the manpower reserves of all parties included, the coalition suffered heavy losses and humiliating defeats enough to convince them to sit at the peace table. A return to the status quo was all that was asked as the empire was careful not to overextend again.

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Despite the peace treaty there would be little time to rest for the legions stationed in the balkans as a new wave of unrest and HERESY threatened to engulf the region.

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A plot had begun to ensure the complete and utter destruction of the imperium, the last shield of Yurop against the endless sandnigger hordes in the east. The fact that his grand alliance included the kebabs themselves only serves to prove how desperate and sloppy the melonheads and their jew pawns had become.

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There was no question as to what would become to eastern yurop or, indeed, the world should Rum overrun the lands of Byzantium. For there may come a time when pagan temples in Scandinavia are burned down, their priests machete raped and minarets erected in their place.

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The only way to defeat such insidious machinations would be to strike at their heart, namely the race traitors of Tuscany and the Krauts of Lotharingia.

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The empire is blessed by this discovery as a new heir arises, strong in the Neanderthal gene that will lead the legions in these trying times that lie ahead. Your move, melonheads.

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It should come as no surprise that this happens the moment the 'thal scion is discovered.

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The poison of the melonhead runs deeper than once thought. If they have infiltrated our ranks so efficiently as to influence the court opinion in such a degree there is no telling as to what else they may be capable of.

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A ball is arranged and most of the nobility invited. With no previous preparations and no expenses spared, it seemed as genuine as possible.

It's only purpose was to serve as a trap.

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One of the last few remaining Neanderthal shamans was brought in from the east, wise in the ways of the ubermensch and experienced in fighting their ancestral enemy.

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Caught unawares, the serpent man of Khazaria had no means of fleeing, with armed guards blocking the exits and the guests of the ball recoiling in terror from his presence.

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The melonhead agent was promptly removed and the Neanderthal child could now sleep safe.

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The nobility was butthurt about being bait but the baaaaaw would eventually die out.

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Fuck off.

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While the empire was conducting it's struggle against the melonheads and their pawns, the kingdom of the Rus had expanded into an empire, having conquered the baltic states and the fields of Potatoland. They could serve as a good counterweight against Sweden but they rebuffed all offers of an alliance.

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And just when the next round of wars was starting.

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Only this time it would be far, far more bloody than any other war fought in human history, with half a million men on the enemy side.

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ITZ COMING


 
Joined
Dec 28, 2012
Messages
6,657
Location
Rape
Save file was corrupted but I do have the war up to 1535 fully screenshot'ed. I'll just have to replay the game and do the same shit so there will be some delays after the next update.
 

Ackermanus

Educated
Joined
Jul 24, 2013
Messages
55
Location
Playground
Oh my. What an interesting scenario. Smash the false christians and bring them back into the flock!

Can you reunite both churches in EU4 (as you could in Legacy of Rome)? I recon that would give you a massive advantage, not that attacking Rum (to get Jerusalem) would get you anywhere as the first war showed.

Also, I know the save file pain :( Best of luck.
 
Joined
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Messages
6,657
Location
Rape
PART 4: 1004 SIGNS THAT ITZ COMING

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The first engagement of the war would be a naval one, where the combined byzantine fleet fell upon a kebab flotilla in the Aegean and obliterated it.

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The war in the balkans kicked off with a battle in Slavonia where an outnumbered legion almost single-handedly defeated a much larger kraut army before support arrive to drive them out.

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Lack of artillery would plague the efficiency of the legions for the duration of the conflict.

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The same strategy of invite attack deep inside imperial territory then enveloping the enemy with nearby forces would continue to work wonders. Despite enemy technological superiority, the Empire held the advantage of superior elan and discipline, something that the manboons of the so called Holy Roman Empire would never be able to match.

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The 3rd Legion gave a good account of itself before being forced to retreat by an overwhelmingly more numerous force of undomesticated snowmn and krauts.

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The snowmens soon fell to the same trap as the forefathers of BIS before them. No one would be allowed to escape, less the abominations of multikult begin to plague the future of this alternate universe as well.

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Once proud vikings but now undomesticated snowmen, these melonhead puppets and agents of the Decline were slaughtered to a man, whatever few strugglers who managed to escape dispersing in the countryside.

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The legions co-operated with great degrees of success, routing then cutting off the escape routes of several allied armies deep within byzantine Serb clay, removing them with such success that they resembled the serb kebab removers of another timeline.

With men such as these the safety of holy roman (not to be confused with butthurt kraut usurper 'holy roman') clay was guaranteed. :salute:


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The east was not as hard hit as expected, Rum busy with wars elsewhere.

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A small counteroffensive would begin with the aim of liberating armenia and driving the rape gangs out of Anatolia.

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The balkans would remain the prime front of the war, something that would change in the next conflict.

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Bloody battles and attrition would dominate this theater for the entirety of the war.

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The occasional reverse would also occur as exhausted and depleted legions were ambushed by hungarian armies but they were too few and far inbetween to decisively alter the balance of forces.

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The war in the east would begin to take a turn for the worse as more and more sandnigger hordes arrive, ranging far and wide into imperial territory. Reinforcements would soon be needed.

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Indeed, large kebab armies would catch the legions on the march, attempting to break their cohesion but the brave patriots would stand their ground and deny them for as long as possible.

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Despite the challenging terrain and the superior numbers of the musli, the legions would prove victorious, driving the hordes before them.

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Decisive victories were possible in this front, as the kebab was fond of blunders and disastrous decisions, such as attacking legionaires dug into mountainous terrain.

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More hordes of snowmens would be drawn deep into the european territory of the empire

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where they would be slaughtered without mercy.

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With manpower reserves being drained constantly and the enemy unwilling to discuss peace terms, the overall situation would soon turn bad.

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Hard won victories and hollow triumphs were plaguing the european front as surely as enemy numerical superiority.

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Another legion would arrive in Anatolia to help drive Rum back and liberate the cities seized but such prospects seemed bleak as for every sandnigger army destroyed another would arrive to take it's place.

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Despite great victories such as this, all it took was a few months for a seemingly decimated army to grow back to full strength and return to resume the war. Was there no hope?

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The enemy would refuse peace even after most Rumish armies were close to destruction.

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Focus would shift back to the balkan front as a renewed allied offensive would find the legions there outnumbered but not unprepared.

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Victories would be won again and again but the manpower reserves were completely drained as this meat-grinder of a war ate men like Kwans ate xenoestrogens.

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The brave patriots of Byzantium would attempt a few more offensive actions to ensure that the rape gangs raped no further but these would prove to be of no strategic importance in the end.

There was no way out. The legions were decimated and no men were available to muster beneath the sacred standards. An entire generation put to the sword.

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Peace was finally signed with the empire agreeing to pay war reparations to the race traitors of Tuscany. But the Emperor would have his revenge.

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The coalition seemed to be unwilling continue pursuing the melonhead agenda as one exhausted member after another left the alliance. But as long as Rum and the Krauts remained there could be no peace.

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In a stroke of poetic justice, the Krauts would collapse between a combined attack of Frogmens and western kebab. :smug:

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The melonheads would begin infiltrating the imperium again, this time under the guise of advising fiscal sorcerers.

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Unity among our enemies is never a good thing. The balance of power was relatively stable right now but should the HRE unite an unholy alliance with the western kebabs would be the only way to counter them.

A terrible and dishonorable notion but the only option there was.

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With the legitimacy of the current emperor in the gutter, many factions in the military would baaaaw in the open, aware that there would be no severe consequences.

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THE NEANDERTHAL SCION ASCENDS TO THE THRONE. GLORY TO THE EMPIRE. HE WILL SMITE THE MANBOON, HE WILL REMOVE THE KEBAB, HE WILL BRING INCLINE.

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Under the wise guidance of Gabriel Blakemore Komnenos, a new legion would be mustered and assigned to the balkan front. A hard realist, he knew that the war was far from over and that the empire would need all the military power it could muster, no matter the financial cost.

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The dumb saps, being in awe of the new Emprah, could not help but brag about how uber the Imperium was, reminiscent of the Kwanzanian manboons of another universe. No good could come of that.

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But superior Neanderthal intellect could trump homosap retardation. New advances in the field of military science would ensure that Byzantium remained technologically on par with it's enemies.

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Remember the melonhead fiscal 'advisors'? Yeah, this is why such parasites should be cleansed and purged with zero tolerance.

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And just in time.

Coincidence?


PROTIP: This will be bloodiest war yet.

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Hellraiser

Arcane
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
11,300
Location
Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
The serpent is insidious, eternal and relentless. It preys on the weak-willed, those who abandon the greater ideals of communion between fellow men for shekels, lust and power. It is the greatest evil lurking not just beyond the gates of our fortresses but even inside our very homes. Walls, pikes or guns do not protect against it. Only maintaining the principals taught by the greatest of ancient Amud can. Mental discipline is what makes men great, not gold, titles or arms. It is what separates the sons of Amud from the Manboons with a machetes that fly the crescent flag.
 

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