Example of ME3's homosexual "romance" "dialogue".

[RPGMaster]

Meet BioWare's latest gay icon:

The following dialogue is not fan fiction but comes from the Mass Effect 3 script:

James: You come down here for something, or you just lookin?
Shepard: I did just come to chat, but I might stay for the show.
James: Have to work harder than that if you want me to blush. Not sure what there is to talk about. You already know my service record.
Shepard: I don't, actually. I didn't have access to personnel records when we met.
James: Right... forgot about that. Well... Think you can dance and talk at the same time?
Shepard: I think I can handle it.
James:Okay, Loco. Let's dance.
Shepard: Don't let my good looks fool you, Vega. I've got my share of scars.


MASTERFUL.

 

[Multi-headed Cow]

There was more sexual tension in the Gears of War games. None of this shit about personnel records, just lots of men with tiny heads and giant arms slamming in to walls and grunting. One was even called Dom! Vega just makes me think

Completely unacceptable Bioware, do it again.

 

[racofer]

Source?

 

[RPGMaster]

Source?

http://social.bioware.com/group/5245/discussion/18495/&p=2

It's in the script. I checked. I thought it had to be made up dialogue by that user, but no.

 

[TripJack]

jesus christ why do people buy this shit

 

[Kz3r0]

The following dialogue is not fan fiction but comes from the Mass Effect 3 script:

James: You come down here for something, or you just lookin?
Shepard: I did just come to chat, but I might stay for the show.
James: Have to work harder than that if you want me to blush. Not sure what there is to talk about. You already know my service record.
Shepard: I don't, actually. I didn't have access to personnel records when we met.
James: Right... forgot about that. Well... Think you can dance and talk at the same time?
Shepard: I think I can handle it.
James:Okay, Loco. Let's dance.
Shepard: Don't let my good looks fool you, Vega. I've got my share of scars.


MASTERFUL.

I write better dialogues.

 

[Aldebaran]

See, for a second there, I was certain that you had written this, and I was about to congratulate you on the believable impersonation. It was almost a little too believable...

If you had told me that this was porn dialogue, I of course would have immediately seen through the clever ruse. Too short and stilted for the writing titans of the porn industry.

 

[shihonage]

Thanks for reminding me why all Bioware games depress the shit out of me.

 

[hoopy]

There was more sexual tension in the Gears of War games.

And in Bulletstorm.

 

[Duckard]

I work in the video game industry, but my true calling is to be a porno writer.

But seriously, this is masterfully written if it was written as a parody of Bioware... You have the overused ellipses. You have snarky one-liners. There's no real flow to the speech. It doesn't seem like how most people would talk...

To be honest, I'm kind of hoping it's real just because of how bad it is.

 

[Jick Magger]

HAMBURGER HELPER DID IT AGAIN!

 

[Achilles]

Jesus, it reads like a terrible fan script.

 

[SoupNazi]

Well, that's definitely hitting a new low.

 

[villain of the story]

Bioware = erotic/pornographic trash lit.

HAMBURGER HELPER DID IT AGAIN!

Fixed for NEXT-GEN.

 

[Angthoron]

Come on bros, BioWare is tackling an important issue here, they're socially aware about the crumbling of the don't ask - don't tell rule and want to support it in their games so that the brave soldiers coming out of the closet will be accepted as individuals that they are.

 

[Azalin]

My God,that is hilariously bad

 

[Kalin]

Seems like the untermenschen rolled a critical hit with this one.

Truly a perfect example of why I have stayed clear of BioWare titles for the last ten years or so.

 

[JarlFrank]

My neighbor's dog writes better dialogue than this.

 

[Luzur]

welcome to the next level of RPG'ing, gentlemen.

 

[racofer]

Moar Biologue:

• Merrill: (Giggles)
• Fenris: What? Why are you looking at me like that?
• Merrill: You're in love!
• Fenris: I am not.
• Merrill: You keep looking at Hawke with sad puppy eyes every time his back is turned. (male Hawke)
• Merrill: Everytime she looks away, you stare at Hawke with those sad puppy eyes. (female Hawke)
• Fenris: There are no puppy eyes.
• Merrill: It's all right, you know. Even you can be happy once in a while. It won't kill you. But your face might crack if you smile, so be careful.

 

[Carceri]

Don't let my good looks fool you, Vega. I've got my share of scars.

 

[Angthoron]

"Bar Mitzvah scars, mostly. Ya a man enough to see 'em?"

 

[Sceptic]

In before Jaesun.
Also, GAY SHEPHARDS!!!

 

[Ermm]

How can storyfags keep lapping this shit.
I mean, every one who has played Mass Effect, first thing they are saying that story is good. Probably for morlocks it's ok.

 

[DraQ]

Shephard makes sheep hard.