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Fuckity FUCK fucking FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU

Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Messages
5,933
Location
Scotland
Call of Juarez 2.

I liked the first one, okay? It was flawed, but I have a hidden Western fetish, and it was a pretty solid FPS overall. All they had to do was take out the goddamn shitty stealth levels and, as a bonus, let you do away with guns altogether and dual-wield Bibles.

What did they fucking do? What did they fucking do?

I start playing, and the first thing I notice is the lack of a HUD. That's fine, it's still a tutorial level, still a sort of cutscene-ish section. Everything's going to be fine. Relax.
No. No it's fucking not. Gone is the fucking health meter. In is fucking regenerating health same as in every other fucking shooter made since fucking 2005 fucking FUCK FUCK. I JUST WANT A FUCKING HEALTH METER THAT STARTS AT 100 AND COUNTS DOWN WHEN I GET SHOT. AND STAYS DOWN EVEN IF I DO HIDE BEHIND A WALL. FUCK. FUCK. FUCKING FUCK. FUCK YOU.

After a few deep breaths, I decided to continue on. Tentatively. I started defending a wall against attacking liberals. When I noticed something.
Something very bad.
My cursor was moving! By itself! What could this mean? It was... it was moving over enemies? But I didn't notice an autoaim option in the controls menu!
Oh, wait.
YOU PUT FUCKING MANDATORY AUTOAIM IN A FUCKING PC FPS. I CAN'T FUCKING TURN IT OFF. THAT'S LIKE MAKING A PRO CYCLIST WEAR FUCKING STABILISERS IN THE OLYMPICS. FUCK YOU YOU CONSOLE FELLATING SAD SACKS OF SHIT. FUCK YOU. I JUST WANT A DECENT FUCKING SHOOTER WHERE I PLAY AS A DISEMBODIED GUN WITH 100 HEALTH POINTS AND A CURSOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SCREEN. THAT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK, IS IT? YOU FAT FUCKING VIRGINAL SACKS OF FUCKING ROTTEN GOAT SMEGMA. I'M GOING TO FUCKING PLAY DOOM 2. THEY GOT THIS SHIT RIGHT LIKE 15 YEARS AGO YOU STUPID CHERNOBYL BABY KIDDY FIDDLER CUNTS. IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD.

It has a cover system too.
 
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Messages
5,933
Location
Scotland
WHY DO YOU INSIST ON MAKING FPSs "SMART" WHILE MAKING RPGs MORE ACCESSIBLE/DUMB? FUCK. I WANT THE FUCKING OPPOSITE. WHEN I PLAY AN FPS I JUST WANT TO BE A FUCKING DISEMBODIED GUN. I WANT TO HAVE 100 HIT POINTS. I WANT TO FUCKING SHOOT THINGS AND GRAB MEDKITS. THAT'S IT. WHY ARE YOU MAKING THESE GENRES THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WANT THEM TO BE? I WANT DUMB FPSs AND SMART RPGs SURELY THERE IS ROOM IN THE MARKET FOR BOTH FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCKERS YOU ARE JUST DOING THIS TO UPSET ME IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY LOGISTICAL SENSE FUCK YOU WITHA GIANT FUCKING REINDEER HORN DILDO FUCKING STALHIRM ARMOUR I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL THIS IS LIKE THAT TIHNFG CLEVE EWAS TALKNGIA BOUT I'LL FUCKNG RIP YOUR HEAD OIFF AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK

THESE
FUCKING
WALLAWF[MAWFMO[AWMP[]SEP[
MSZR[
#ZRDS[M#
 

Padre

Liturgist
Joined
Jul 17, 2009
Messages
399
Location
Szczecin, Poland
There's no challenge so it would not be fun. At least till someone mods it to have a normal health bar...
 

SCO

Arcane
In My Safe Space
Joined
Feb 3, 2009
Messages
16,320
Shadorwun: Hong Kong
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Redeye

Arcane
Joined
Jun 27, 2006
Messages
8,247
Location
filth
Why not send them a letter?

I'm sure they will see the error of their ways and mod it for you.
 

A user named cat

Guest
This game was pretty decent actually, nothing to get crygirl about. Even with health regen, I managed to die quite a few times. I also believe auto-aim was only for Ray's dual pistols, which I rarely used (rifle owned). The first CoJ was complete ass, non-consolized or not. This one had a superior story, varied stages and more content.

Now, if anything, CoJ 2 should've been like the couple sandbox areas that were thrown in, just with a lot more substance to them. What a tease. Oh and the duels were terribly done, the mouse sensitivity was nearly broken when trying to draw.
 

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
Feb 23, 2006
Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
Rifle might be alrigth for long range or medium engagements, but Dual Volcano is amazingly effective. 12 shots in each hand and decent at medium range.
 
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Messages
5,933
Location
Scotland
Phantasmal said:
I also believe auto-aim was only for Ray's dual pistols, which I rarely used (rifle owned).

Dual pistols are all I use if given the choice :(
I could deal with the health regen and it looks like a good game otherwise but for the love of Christ let me turn auto-aim off it just takes an additional menu option it's not hard.

Also was kind of drunk when I posted

edit: hahaha. There's an option to turn auto-aim off. If you set it to the gamepad config.
 

JarlFrank

I like Thief THIS much
Patron
Joined
Jan 4, 2007
Messages
33,048
Location
KA.DINGIR.RA.KI
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
Didn't find the autoaim to be too annoying. Mostly played as Thomas, anyways. I just love using rifle and bow. Much more effective, especially in the beginning since the pistols you get there are shit compared to the rifle.
 

DraQ

Arcane
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
32,828
Location
Chrząszczyżewoszyce, powiat Łękołody
Suchy said:
Gone is the fucking health meter
Yay!
In is fucking regenerating health same as in every other fucking shooter made since fucking 2005
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuu......
My cursor was moving! By itself! What could this mean? It was... it was moving over enemies? But I didn't notice an autoaim option in the controls menu!
Oh, wait.
YOU PUT FUCKING MANDATORY AUTOAIM IN A FUCKING PC FPS. I CAN'T FUCKING TURN IT OFF.
..........uuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!-

Fix'd.


Admiral jimbob said:
I'M GOING TO FUCKING PLAY DOOM 2. THEY GOT THIS SHIT RIGHT LIKE 15 YEARS AGO YOU STUPID CHERNOBYL BABY KIDDY FIDDLER CUNTS. IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD.
Doesn't DOOM 2 have mandatory autoaim too?
 

Dark Matter

Prophet
Joined
Jun 17, 2007
Messages
1,227
Location
Toronto
Doom 2 is even worse, there is almost no aiming involved along the vertical axis. I bet they did it too please casual fags like Jimjob.

r00fles
 

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