Official Codex Discord Server

  1. Welcome to rpgcodex.net, a site dedicated to discussing computer based role-playing games in a free and open fashion. We're less strict than other forums, but please refer to the rules.

    "This message is awaiting moderator approval": All new users must pass through our moderation queue before they will be able to post normally. Until your account has "passed" your posts will only be visible to yourself (and moderators) until they are approved. Give us a week to get around to approving / deleting / ignoring your mundane opinion on crap before hassling us about it. Once you have passed the moderation period (think of it as a test), you will be able to post normally, just like all the other retards.
    Dismiss Notice

Game journalists CRAP reviews.

Discussion in 'General Gaming' started by S0rcererV1ct0r, Jul 27, 2020.

  1. S0rcererV1ct0r Cipher

    S0rcererV1ct0r
    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2019
    Messages:
    2,177
    Location:
    A Demiplane of Dread
    I've searched but found no thread to discuss only the dumb reviews of game journalists about many games. So, here is a thread where we can laugh about they.

    To start, the most iconic "i can't kill a bug swarm with a axe, 0/10"
    Path of Exile - IGN review


    Nintendo World Report TV Review of Baldur's Gate


    Game Journalist VS 5 yo child on cuphead tutorial


     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2020
    • Participation Award Participation Award x 2
    • Brofist Brofist x 1
    ^ Top  
  2. abija Prophet

    abija
    Joined:
    May 21, 2011
    Messages:
    1,858
    • Funny x 8
    • hopw roewur ne x 2
    • Participation Award x 1
    • incline x 1
    • Disgusting! x 1
    ^ Top  
  3. Tarantulos-Eduardo-Sanchez Arcane

    Tarantulos-Eduardo-Sanchez
    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2018
    Messages:
    3,446
    Location:
    Cada juego de fantasía hecho
    The guy reviewing BG in that video has such a bitchmade voice. Get some baritone in those pipes, Sally.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    ^ Top  
  4. Shadenuat Arcane

    Shadenuat
    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2011
    Messages:
    9,974
    Location:
    Russia
    PoE ign review actually illustrates well how useless main campaign in that game is and that poe would be better if it built its narrative and exploration parts based on its rogue strengths from ground up, not mimic single player RPGs.
     
    • Brofist Brofist x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
    ^ Top  
  5. Falksi Arcane

    Falksi
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2017
    Messages:
    4,841
    Location:
    Nottingham
    • Funny Funny x 16
    • When words are not enough When words are not enough x 3
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Despair Despair x 1
    ^ Top  
  6. NJClaw Ontopolover Patron

    NJClaw
    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2016
    Messages:
    2,379
    Location:
    Bologna, Italy
    Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    That BG 2 review is painful to watch.

    "In Icewind Dale you effectively can't be killed on the lowest difficulty settings, which is helpful until you reach areas where you can become trapped by enemies that you might not be able to take down"

    Uh? What the fuck? Why would you want to play a game if you literally don't want to play it? Is BG story so good that someone feels the need to experience it even if he hates everything about how the game plays?

    "Certain enemies can't be damaged by physical weapons like swords and daggers, you need magic to take them down. Does anyone tell you that?"

    UH? Yes, the very audible (and readable) message "my weapon is ineffective" tells you that. Do these people actually want the game to stop at every single inconvenience with a giant popup that explains what you should do to overcome the current challenge?

    "How easy do you think it is just to learn and equip magic? this ain't no Diablo 3 or Final Fantasy 7"

    Uh? Since me and my retarded friends were able to learn and equip magic in Baldur's Gate when we were 4 years old, I guess it can't be THAT hard.

    "On normal difficulty, characters in your party can't be permanently killed. But does anyone tells you how to resurrect them?"

    Holy fuck, WHAT? You have spells called RAISE DEAD and RESURRECTION, what other tip could you possibly need?

    I'm appalled.
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
    • Despair Despair x 3
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • honk honk! honk honk! x 1
    ^ Top  
  7. Tarantulos-Eduardo-Sanchez Arcane

    Tarantulos-Eduardo-Sanchez
    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2018
    Messages:
    3,446
    Location:
    Cada juego de fantasía hecho
    Not to mention the game assumed you had some knowledge of AD&D at the time to know those certain monsters like shadows weren't going to go down so easy. Also I'm pretty sure the game does provide you weapons to deal damage to them by that point, unless you blindly skip over everything to try and narrative rush the game on "story mode" or whatever that retarded setting Beamdog put in was called.

    It's always nice when a game assumes you might be smart and know when to tuck tail and run if you don't have the means of dealing with a certain creature. And if you don't know, then you'll soon learn. How that becomes a negative point is beyond me.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    ^ Top  
  8. MadMaxHellfire Arcane

    MadMaxHellfire
    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    5,143
    Location:
    Italy
    [a thread for all the dumb journos reviews]
    [posts all journos reviews ever]
     
    • Funny x 3
    • Yes x 2
    • Cheers!! x 1
    • Disagree x 1
    • Thanks! x 1
    ^ Top  
  9. Zboj Lamignat Arcane

    Zboj Lamignat
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2012
    Messages:
    3,375
    It's a low grade job attracting low grade people (could be extended the majority of modern "journalism" tbh). Back in the nineties most reviewers were actual gamers and the medium was still pretty young and yet, reading those mags now with hindsight, you can see lots of stupidity, cringe, dishonesty etc. When you look at a typical modern reviewer - twenty something neckbeard taken straight out of internet memes - what credentials does he have to deliver a worthwhile review of, let's say, a 4X game? It's not only about the overall stupidity or lack of skill, it's just plain lack of knowledge and proper exposure.
     
    • Agree Agree x 8
    • Brofist Brofist x 1
    ^ Top  
  10. S0rcererV1ct0r Cipher

    S0rcererV1ct0r
    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2019
    Messages:
    2,177
    Location:
    A Demiplane of Dread
    Yes. Game journalists wanna that level of handholding. I miss on Gothic where if you use a non blunt weapon on a Golem or magic, it deals ZERO damage... Lets be real, if people could "animate" rocks, a blade would't be effective against this "living" rock. In fact, will deal more damage to the blade than to the golem. Arcanum Ore golems actually damages weapons and it makes sense.

    I enjoyed the conflict between mages VS templar HOWEVER, say that DA2 is a good rpg is pure BS.
     
    • Balanced Balanced x 1
    ^ Top  
  11. JarlFrank I like Thief THIS much Patron

    JarlFrank
    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2007
    Messages:
    25,633
    Location:
    Secret Lab of the Warrior-Magus of Esoteric RPGism
    Cue modern game journos claiming a feature is innovative when it has appeared in a dozen games in the 00s, 90s, and even back in the 80s, but the journo has never played the classics so it's completely new and "never before seen!!!" to him.
     
    • Brofist Brofist x 5
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Yes Yes x 2
    ^ Top  
  12. Zboj Lamignat Arcane

    Zboj Lamignat
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2012
    Messages:
    3,375
    Yeah... I still remember someone posting an online review of the last HoMM game on the strategy board. The reviewer completely failed to understand that the game is turn based and what turn based even is/means. That's the level we're looking at.
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • WTF am I reading WTF am I reading x 3
    • /facepalm/ /facepalm/ x 1
    ^ Top  
  13. Mister Familiar Learned

    Mister Familiar
    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2020
    Messages:
    324
    Location:
    Flyover Wastes
    And several are bitter and insecure over the fact that they have to stoop so low as to write about about video games, and must embellish highbrow concepts and themes onto games where none truly exist.

    They'd be less of a laughing stock if they were forbidden from touching any games that came out before their time. They're clearly only suited for the ease and comfort of modern Triple-A releases, why force them to make fools of themselves?
     
    • Brofist Brofist x 1
    ^ Top  
  14. Mister Familiar Learned

    Mister Familiar
    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2020
    Messages:
    324
    Location:
    Flyover Wastes


    Does 'CRAP' extend to heaping undue praise on games that didn't deserve it? If so then this deserves to be here.
    This one is a microcosm of a larger critical conflict, but it still bears posting in this forum.
    Those of you who know, know.
     
    • Brofist Brofist x 3
    • incline incline x 1
    ^ Top  
  15. Ol' Willy Scholar

    Ol' Willy
    Joined:
    May 3, 2020
    Messages:
    755
    Location:
    In your head
    As I said, to be a competent game reviewing journal you need a team of grognards, specializing each in a defined genre; let this people play those games to hell, take notes, then, a skilled writer with no necessary knowledge about games turns this notes into a proper review. Because being good at games and being a good publicist is too much to ask this days.
     
    • Disagree Disagree x 2
    • Yes Yes x 1
    • STOP! posting STOP! posting x 1
    • Fabulously Optimistic Fabulously Optimistic x 1
    ^ Top  
  16. markec Twitterbot Patron

    markec
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2010
    Messages:
    19,185
    Location:
    Croatia
    Codex 2012 Dead State Project: Eternity Codex USB, 2014 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    http://archive.is/HI1tc

     
    • Rage x 8
    • Funny x 2
    • /facepalm/ x 2
    • Nuke it from orbit x 2
    • Disgusting! x 2
    • I found this text to be too long and as such I didn't read it x 1
    • Balanced x 1
    ^ Top  
  17. rusty_shackleford Arcane

    rusty_shackleford
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2018
    Messages:
    18,996
    am I being trolled
     
    • Funny x 11
    • :( x 1
    • Despair x 1
    • Fabulously Optimistic x 1
    • it is a mystery x 1
    • :M x 1
    ^ Top  
  18. DalekFlay Arcane Patron

    DalekFlay
    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2010
    Messages:
    12,188
    Location:
    New Vegas
    That review came out before RPS went all-in on being commie sociopaths, so I was a somewhat regular reader. RPS had a cult fanbase in the comment section who agreed with them on everything, but even they revolted a little to that review. It's an amazing piece of shit, and I believe the writer was a prick about it too.
     
    • Informative Informative x 2
    • Makes you think... Makes you think... x 1
    ^ Top  
  19. AW8 Arcane

    AW8
    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2013
    Messages:
    1,647
    Location:
    North of Poland
    Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    Is CRAP an acronym for Completely Retarded And Painful (to read)?
     
    • Yes Yes x 1
    • Creative Creative x 1
    • :M :M x 1
    ^ Top  
  20. awsker Barely Literate

    awsker
    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2020
    Messages:
    2
    As far as I'm concerned, there's only one video game journalist worthy of the name.

    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny x 19
    • Salute x 6
    • Prestigious x 2
    • Brofist x 1
    • nice x 1
    • Sweat gathers upon my brow, let me dab it x 1
    • quality shit x 1
    ^ Top  
  21. Rahdulan Arcane Patron

    Rahdulan
    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Messages:
    4,154
    I thought it was an intentional gay stereotype voice at first. Then I stopped watching.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    ^ Top  
  22. HansDampf Arcane

    HansDampf
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2015
    Messages:
    1,000
    https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2019/05/23/pathologic-2-review/
    Game too Dark Souls. Dark Souls hard. Have you heard about Dark Souls?

    And recently, TLOU2... I wasn't paying attention to that game or the discussions about it, until NeverKnowsBest posted a review on his channel. His review is fine. But in it he also pointed out that most professionell reviews barely talk about the gameplay at all. And he is right. Especially this excuse of a review from the Washington Post: ‘The Last of Us Part II’: One of the best video games ever made
    Not a single word about gameplay. But even letting that slide, the rest of this "review" isn't informative either. It's all about his feewings. Why is everyone so retadred?
     
    • Brofist Brofist x 3
    • Prestigious Prestigious x 1
    ^ Top  
  23. Falksi Arcane

    Falksi
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2017
    Messages:
    4,841
    Location:
    Nottingham
    I agree with a lot of that review tbh. Enjoyed DMC4, but the reboot - whilst featuring a shit looking main character - is the one I enjoyed most as a game.

    DMC5 is fucking wank by comparison.
     
    • retadred x 4
    • FAKE NEWS x 1
    • Interesting x 1
    • Friendly x 1
    • WTF am I reading x 1
    • Shit x 1
    ^ Top  
  24. Durandal Arcane

    Durandal
    Joined:
    May 13, 2015
    Messages:
    2,089
    Location:
    New Eden
    It is fundamentally impossible for gaming news sites to create truly good or insightful game reviews.

    The way the business is set up means reviews are rarely anything more than a shallow overview of the gameplay described with meaningless adjectives, and mentioning a handful of personal experiences they had with the game that they judge the entire game by. This isn't necessarily the case (though admittedly rather common) because the reviewer is just inept, but writing for a press outlet brings with it several constraints that prevents good reviews (that aren't trying to be more humorous and entertaining instead).

    First, deadlines are a bitch. Not only are you trying to churn something out before the review embargo, but you also have to get something ready while the game is still relevant. People want to know ON LAUNCH whether the game just lives up to the hype. And three-four months after the game is released, most people will already have discussed it to death and aren't really interested in hearing yet another cold take. That means less clicks and means less $$$. So your only option is to beat the game as fast as possible so you can scribble something down as fast as possible. Being able to beg for preview codes from the publisher does give you a lot more time (and generally more time for reviewing is set aside for big AAA releases as they will be read more, if the longer length of AAA game reviews is any indication), but the outlets that aren't as lucky are going to have to speed through even more. And rushing something rarely results in a quality product.

    The problem here is that compared to other mediums like music or movies, games on average take a significantly longer time to 'complete' (4-8 hours compared to a 2hr movie), even moreso to replay and thoroughly understand the game. And games are not just longer, but harder too, which makes you spend even more time at trying to beat the game, and leaves you with even less time to write a review (knowing this, it's not surprising that digital exhibitions/walking sims like Gone Home or Gris fall more in line with your average game journalist's personal tastes, as their short length and low execution barrier makes them much easier to review, and it is indirectly also why journalists clamor for Easy Modes). This is why reviews for the more niche deep high-execution games like stylish action games, arcade games and fighting games frequently misunderstand how the game works, don't go in-depth with the gameplay at all, and mostly just stick to talking about the audiovisual experience. Often said games are also built on certain cultures where the player is expected to be aware of certain genre traditions (most arcade games are designed around clearing the game with one credit, even though the games rarely explicitly mention that is the case), which you'd figure is part of a journalist's job to investigate, but what happens more than it should is that a newb to the genre gets assigned to write a review of a game whose genre they have minimal experience with, with everything that entails.

    Second, review drafts rarely get peer-reviewed by someone else who actually knows shit about games. If you want to hone your stance on a game, you go talk to someone else about it who has also played it. You shouldn't expect to become an enlightened gaming maestro if you sit in your own ivory tower and don't talk to anybody but yourself. By discussing the game, you might find you overlooked something in the game, or instead it helps get you a better perspective on why the game is good/bad. It's useful to have both the opinions of people who are really good or really shit at the game, as it gives you a clearer indication of how the game is received on multiple levels and where its problems/strengths may actually lie. More importantly, discussing the game prevents you from talking out of your ass and saying something that will embarrass you down the line. The problem is that discussing games isn't really possible when you're writing a review before launch and the only one around you that has actually played the game is you. This is why the editor should ideally have enough experience in writing quality reviews and be able to point out structural flaws in a review draft even if the editor hasn't played the game in question, but evidently this is hardly ever the case. Assigning multiple writers to write one review about a game does help in this regard, though it rarely happens. And finally...

    ...the reader base of gaming news sites doesn't care much for quality. They just want to know if the game is playable or just have the reviewer validate their opinions--everything else is fluff. People like me and probably most people in this thread who are clamoring for something more in-depth get the shit end of the stick here, because the hand of the market dictates that shallow uninsightful articles maximizes clicks. On the other hand (and not to blow my own bugle), hobbyist reviewers and video essayists aren't as bound by these constraints, and so are able to put out more insightful commentary on games on average compared to journalists. Hopefully the public's standards for game reviews will eventually be raised high enough that gaming journalists are forced to step up their game, but we're a long way off from that.

    As an aside, you don't have to be good at games to write a good review, but it certainly helps.
     
    • I found this text to be too long and as such I didn't read it x 4
    • Brofist x 3
    • Acknowledge this user's Agenda x 1
    • nice x 1
    • Cheers!! x 1
    • Agree x 1
    • Friendly x 1
    ^ Top  

As an Amazon Associate, rpgcodex.net earns from qualifying purchases.