1eyedking Godfucking dammit, gaming is dead

[1eyedking]

The Secret of Monkey Island Special Edition - Remastered

I cannot explain how much I raged after watching this. Every single minute is guaranteed glittering hate.

 

[Gragt]

Old news is old?

 

[1eyedking]

Some pointers:

• Generic cartoony art direction (here we go again!)...
• ...which means some of the mystery, contrast and fantasy charm has been lost in translation
• Goofy sounds that seem to come from a radio talk shows
• Fucked up trumpet music "for the current generation"
• Hideous voice-acting, voiced-everything
• No interface "because it fills half of the screen and has to be played well on many platforms"
• In-game hints ("Back at the time we would get stuck on a puzzle since we didn't have internet, which means <s>we had to think</s> we were stuck forever. We don't want players to get their experience broken so we've integrated solutions inside the game!")

What the fuck is happening to games?

PS: Fuck, I'm late it's true. Sometimes it's better to remain ignorant, I guess; still I raged like I never raged before.

 

[Gragt]

Bah, it's not like cartoony style is bad. The Monkey Island games have always been cartoony. They went for a different direction for the remake, more childish, and it wasn't as good. Some parts even remind me that Tim Burton style.

 

[1eyedking]

Yes, you're right, but notice how I used "generic". A good example of nice cartoony graphics would be Grim Fandango's art deco scenery.

But this...thing?

 

[Grunker]

I'm gonna get my head ripped off for this, but fuck it:

In-game hints

Could you explain to me, very slowly and patiently, since I am very dense, how this will, in any way, shape or form, hurt you or me?

Note that these hints only pop-up if you ask for them.

 

[ecliptic]

The only thing that stands out to me is the poor animation. Otherwise, I don't see the blasphemy, hahahaha.

 

[A user named cat]

Yeah, you are way late on this, Skyway's angry spic cousin.

Played through most of it month's ago. Wasn't too bad, the idea of being able to switch between versions while playing was a fantastic concept and worked seamlessly.

 

[1eyedking]

Bastards.

 

[A user named cat]

Oh stfu.

 

[Trithne]

Oh stfu.

:smugcodex:

 

[Sovard]

Strikes me almost like the movie adaptation of a classic...

Everything you imagined is shot to hell and raped repeatedly (unless you like rape, then it has consensual post-marital sex missionary position).


Oh, actually, it doesn't look half bad. I think the soundtrack could have done with a more minimalistic approach rather than some hybrid live/electronic ska band interpretation.

New graphics aren't complete shit with plenty of hand drawn backgrounds. You can also switch between the old and new graphics.

I actually thought you were talking about the "Tales Of Monkey Island" at first... which is more worthy of such venom. Isn't it?

 

[Jim Cojones]

 

[Genma:TheDestroyer]

"If ye don't want the words 'Monkey' and 'Deviant Sex-play' to be forever linked in yer mind from here on out, I suggest ye look away. Yarrr!"

 

[pipka]

I liked this shit. Now they can make MI2 Remastered Edition.

 

[1eyedking]

Round 1

VS.

Round 2

VS.

 

[Chaotic Lulz3r]

You're trying too hard. The new graphics are just fine. And if you don't like them, you can switch to the original game with a single press of a button (F10). The Secret of Monkey Island - Special Edition is win, all the way.

 

[Grunker]

What was it someone said? Don't... really... care...

 

[relootz]

So this thread made me download the game. Will give it a try.

 

[PlanHex]

Have fun, it's pretty good.
The only thing they screwed up was the interface, and it's sorta dumb you can't mix and match the old and new graphics/sounds.
Other than that, it's Secret of Monkey Island for cheap.
Yay.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

I'm gonna get my head ripped off for this, but fuck it:

In-game hints

Could you explain to me, very slowly and patiently, since I am very dense, how this will, in any way, shape or form, hurt you or me?

Note that these hints only pop-up if you ask for them.

Well, casuals will get to play it too, so I won't be able to feel as smug

 

[Grunker]

I thought so

 

[Unkillable Cat]

Part of the "rage" towards this game is people failing to understand how the game is remastered.

It's a simple skin plaster job - you're playing the original game, with an engine sitting on top that shows you the new graphics, gives you the new interface and plays the new sounds. Modern-day doohickeys, restricted by the limitations of late-80's coding.

You can even select dialog choices with the number keys like in the old days - just keep in mind that the options are shown in a different order in the remastered edition than the original, but it'll select a conversation option based on its order in the original game.

The voice acting suffers badly as the actors have to say their lines in quick "bursts", but the worst part of the conversion are the close-ups. People look like their parents were giraffes or something.

 

[Destroid]

Anyone else notice how retarded this looks?

 

[Clockwork Knight]

I also have no idea what the fuck "generic cartoony art direction" means. You dislike cartoony looks? The game doesn't look unique?