In Progress Hatoful Boyfriend: I want to be a Pigeon!

[oscar]

 

[Ulminati]

wtf

Hope it reaches the right level of amusing wtfness.

Speaking as someone versed in the awesome of HATOFUL BOYFRIEND this comment struck me as amusing.


LundB, you know what must be done! First romance has to be Iwamine Shuu! Ideally one of the bad endings since they're less fucked up than the good one!

 

[RK47]

Mou~...None of these birds are attractive to me.

 

[Brother None]

But what about those beautiful tail feathers?

Speaking as someone versed in the awesome of HATOFUL BOYFRIEND

Stopped reading here.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Omigosh.

 

[Haba]

...

 

[Azira]

 

[Ulminati]

But what about those beautiful tail feathers?

Speaking as someone versed in the awesome of HATOFUL BOYFRIEND

Stopped reading here.

What can I say? A friend who's a huge japanophile showed me this when all it had was a fan translation. While my feelings about japcrap are mixed, I've a soft spot for crazy in all its wonderful shapes and forms. And HATOFUL BOYFRIEND is batshit insane.

 

[RK47]

Ulmi-kun, I worry for you..

 

[lightbane]

So, this is how insanity looks like...

 

[Ulminati]

In b4 tasteful cannibalism.

 

[Harold]

What. The. Fuck.

 

[Hellraiser]

As I gaze upon the images before me I can feel my sanity slowly fading away thus making room for the madness that is being spread by the Elder Gods. Japan has already become a thrall of their alien geometries and eldritch plans. My only hope is to be eaten first thus saving me from the horror that awaits mankind in the future.

 

[Kz3r0]

Guys, you are losing the most hilarious aspect of this game.
In Italian uccelllo(birdie) is a common term for dick.
So, the protagonist of this game to an Italian sounds as a girl going to dick school, I wonder if the meaning is similar in Japan.

 

[Ion Prothon II]

You should have been instructed not to approach me in school

 

[TheEntitledOne]

NO NO NONO NOOOOO MAKE IT STOP!!!

th 'dex is doomed.

 

[pipka]

Weeboo faggotry is impending.

 

[Lindblum]

Looking forward to the romance options. So can bestiality be applied to birds?

 

[Ulminati]

Looking forward to the romance options. So can bestiality be applied to birds?

 

[Ion Prothon II]

So, guys, anyone willing to have a romantic dinner with monitor this time :D?

 

[Jack]

Outstanding, I've been waiting for this LP for quite some time now.

 

[Angthoron]

Sweet. Looking forward to tasteful dismemberment.

 

[dextermorgan]

Yes. I've been trying to come up with words but there just aren't any.

 

[LundB]

LundB, you know what must be done! First romance has to be Iwamine Shuu! Ideally one of the bad endings since they're less fucked up than the good one!

I have no clue what needs to be done. I have never played this game before, and I've never read an LP of it. All I know is that I need to date some pigeons.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I have seen the dark universe yawning
Where the black planets roll without aim,
Where they roll in their horror unheeded,
madness, a pigeon date-game.”
- H.P. Lovecraft

In this update, the first choice appears. There is no right answer.

: Umm, I heard Ryouta... Kawara from 2-3 was supposed to be here.

: Him? He's already gone.

: ...oh.

Why didn't he come find me before going home?

: S-sorry to bother you! I'll be going now!

ED: The doctor's creepy, offering to feed you things and whatnot, but I don't really see how the infirmary's a den of evil. I mean, it's a school infirmary, how bad can it be?

Ryouta's already gone home... what do I do now? Oh! I never got around to joining a club last year. Maybe I'll go take a look at some of my options. I think there are clubs for basebal, soccer, track, kendo, migration, birdwatching...

ED: Birdwatching? At a school for birds, wouldn't that pretty much be a stalking/voyeurism club? Sound's like it's right up RK47's alley.

Wasn't there another one...? Anyway, I'll start with the track team. I ran in middle school, and it's always funny watching the birds hop around. I think their clubroom is on the ground floor, off to the side...

A white dove is having a tantrum outside.

: Cooo! (Okosan rejects it! It is a lie! A vicious falsification!)
He's dancing around on a squished pudding.

: Hey... that's not very nice to the pudding.

He doesn't really look it,but supposedly he's a fantail pigeon.... I think? Either way, he's hyper.

: Coo!! (Okosan has suffered a deception most vile! A wretched betrayal!)

: Betrayal?

: Cooooooo! (Okosan instructed that pudding be provided for new members!) Coo! (But this is no pudding! Ousted, scorned, betrayed! Dragged into the street and shot by those he trusted most!)

It's squished and filthy, but the thing under his feet looks like normal store-bought pudding...

: What's wrong with it?

: Coo, coo! (Spare the jests, young lady!)

Okosan used WING ATTACK! It's super effective!

: Coooo! (They'll rue the day they crossed Okosan! He'll have them flayed, hanged, shot at dawn! He will!) Coo! (Okosan must now train to achieve true pudding! Farewell!)

… and he's gone. He's a good runner, but what does pudding have to do with the track team?

: As you all know, this school doesn't require you to join any club. You're free to go home after school if you want.

: Coo! (Okosan has time only for the track team!)

: That's good. What about you, Shirogane?

: A foolish question. I already hold a position here.

: Oh, that's right. You became student president when you were admitted.

: Nepotism, ho! Don't we get to vote!?

ED: I thought you said that disobedience would turn people into KULAKS and DISSENTERS? Stop questioning authority.

: Just coming to school is enough for me.

: You have to take care of your mother on your own, and all...hmmm, I wonder what I should do?

Well bros, what should the lovely Ms. RK47 do?
Join the student council with the arrogant noblebird with the lovely plumage?
Join the track team with the pudding-obsessed madman?
Join the library staff to see the boring mourning dove whose introduction I pretty much skipped due to inanity?
Join the infirmary staff to be with the doctor, who might keep his promise and let us try his awesome drugs?

Since there are only 4 options, and the game apparently has 8 romanceable birds (That's right Bioware, 8 fully developed romances, more than you've ever made in a game), I doubt this chains us to one of those specific birds.

Also, some fan art:

 

[Angthoron]

Voting for infirmary + doctor romance. She'll need all the drugs she can get.