Kodex Kommunistic Kastle. Fortress. Dwarf Fortress.

[Lizzurd]

Is it MAIDAN?? What a delight!

I support you, Helly. Kalin is a surely a better kommisar then Grimwulf!
You may not be perfect but only you know how to manage the fortress properly. And Kalin? He is the only one around here who is actually doing something to defend the kommunity. Kekeke

MoistCloister My dear wife, please support me! We should go to the hall and riot there to protest against the Grim rule! And also to banish our children back from the fortress

 

[Reinhardt]

For benefit of all, let's analyze Citizen and myself as candidates for brokership:

Citizen's skills

My skills

You can see the way these skills are applied here. Let's consider haggle, discuss request, and cover for gaffe as these appear to be actually relevant to the broker role and not just general social interactions. On the chart below I have listed the use cases the former two as "Haggling," since they both rely on the exact same skills (except for the fact that haggling also uses comedy, which is irrelevant as neither of us have that skill,) and the third as "Diplo" as it appears to be used for smoothing things over with elves after offending them (which sounds like a niche but useful application, considering recent events.)

Here you can see the skill level chart. According to it I should disregard's Citizen's dabbling level in persuasion, since "'Dabbling' is not functionally a level, with 'Novice' being level 1."

Totals:
Haggling - Citizen = 16; Lithium Flower = 18
Diplomacy - Citizen = 16; Lithium Flower = 20

Conclusion:

I could be wrong as I don't fully understand the DF skill system or the application of said skills (does any person alive?) but it looks like I would be superior in both mercantile and diplomatic applications. Level 9 Negotiator appears to be strictly better than Level 8 Intimidation and Level 8 Pacifier for a broker, as it is checked by all 3 use cases.

Citizen can still put his intimidation/pacification to use by calming down tantruming dwarves and stuff like that, but he doesn't need to be a broker to do it :^)

Of course, the biggest thing that hurts both of us is our lack of Appraisal skill, which means we won't be able to estimate the value of things. That being said, Spigot did well trading with the human merchants even without the appraisal skill, and unlike him I promise that I won't provoke any elves unless its deemed necessary (read: not over a fucking monkey and a pair of socks.)

If I'm wrong about anything feel free to correct me.

So before you roll that d12, think hard - do you really want to do that?
[...]
Your supporters are not lifetime supporters. If you win extra votes, they will only last until the upcoming elections (elections themselves included).

Is this roll something that I can do this once, or would it be possible to repeat after every election?

That's not how kommunism works.

 

[Grimwulf]

Logo get big fat NUTHIN! Melt da coppa hammah down or sum sheit, diz fuck is on permunant wrestle duty!

Every military dwarf is free to choose a weapon. However, Redlabored's Kommander owns the barracks, armory included. All weapons and armor belongs to Kalin.

Sorry, Lagole Gon. Seems like Kalin's armory has no spare weapons for you. But you'll be a fabulous wrestler one day.

Well, I'm leaving the military to pursue my dream of creating great metal works of art.

Military service in Redlabored is non-voluntary. You were conscripted.

You are free to self-exile yourself, either to Gulag, or to the outside world. First option leaves little chances to survive. Second option removes you from LP.

So, I'm a ranger, right?

DF assigns professions based on your highest skill. If you cut stone blocks for a while, your profession will automatically change to mason. But yeah, you're a ranger currently.

Are there any animals left in our great halls?

Aye, a lot of them.

Spoiler

I need you to train some doges for war. Couldn't do it previously due to lack of raw meat, but then Spigot bought meat and animals from human merchants. I say we're ready to begin animal training program.

For benefit of all, let's analyze Citizen and myself as candidates for brokership:

Holy damn. Full analysis, with links and tables.

If I'm wrong about anything feel free to correct me.

Just one thing. This is KKK, nobody makes rational decisions here. Here is some examples of your regular komrade's rationale taken from last elections:

Broker -Kalin. With his genteel manners and easy charm he seems a natural fit for this role.

Broker - Reinhardt, with her new smile, she should work wonders with trading!

Manager - Baud. I mean it's the best post to be a freeloader, no?

Manager - Mustawd. He's not suited for mining, and is a dependable and trustworthy guy. I can vouch for him. Yes, he's my cousin. What does that have to do with anything?

 

[Reinhardt]

Well, Komissar could always order Prolebashers to bash some proles.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Logo get big fat NUTHIN! Melt da coppa hammah down or sum sheit, diz fuck is on permunant wrestle duty!

:
Comrade Komissar Grimwulf

It saddens me to inform you that a dwarf (probably part elf) named Kalin plans to commit a war treason by hoarding and possibly destroying military equipment. A sad state of our military should be a proof of his guilt. I'm afraid gulag is the only solution.

Signed, the most loyal supporter of our beloved regime,
Anonymous Concerned Citizen.

 

[Grimwulf]

ITZ happening again. Oh, the irony.

Fuckin Grimwulf thought he could bamboozle me, living in a palace while im left with nuthin.

Kalinz Kapitalist Kontrarevaloshun baby!

 

[Lithium Flower]

Just one thing. This is KKK, nobody makes rational decisions here.

Aye. I am starting to get the feel for things after spending but a short amount of time here. Given my history I expect to be mistrusted and mistreated. Perhaps even abused.

However, I've experience to draw from. From both sides of the treeline I have learned of such things as the ambiguity of righteousness, the necessity of doing the lesser evil as the alternative to the greater, and, above all, the virtue of expediency. If what I want is the salvation of this fortress, then surely any means I undertake towards that end can be justified.

You may remember that I am a student of poetry. As my mentor once wrote, "Inside we both know what's been going on / We know the game and we're gonna play it"

To that end, Commissar, I recognize that my infamy precedes me. I cannot help but feel as if I have yet to prove my loyalty through action. When me and mine back your leadership in this time of strife, will you see then that I've come to serve the order of this place and not subvert it?

Translation

If I recruit supporter/s through dieroll and vote against your impeachment, would I get a favor?

:^)

 

[a bear named spigot]

a bunch of irrelevant theoretical bullshit

this is all nonsense. regardless of any completely unrelated punishment, I plan to run for Broker again during the next elections, and I think most dwarfs appreciate RESULTS. both of these dopes will just be the new Azira, completely worthless. I get RESULTS, like that time I got some clothes, nuts and a lion tamarin for FREE from some traders of indeterminate race.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Did I mentioned that Kalin's real surname is "Elfberg"?

 

[Lizzurd]

 

[vazha]

Logo get big fat NUTHIN! Melt da coppa hammah down or sum sheit, diz fuck is on permunant wrestle duty!

:
Comrade Komissar Grimwulf

It saddens me to inform you that a dwarf (probably part elf) named Kalin plans to commit a war treason by hoarding and possibly destroying military equipment. A sad state of our military should be a proof of his guilt. I'm afraid gulag is the only solution.

Signed, the most loyal supporter of our beloved regime,
Anonymous Concerned Citizen.

Maybe you should talk to media about this? eh? *wink wink nudge nudge" Do some whistleblowing (no pun intended), and be like DF's very own Edward Snowden? eh?

P.s. No homo, no wrestling. Promise. Job first, shenanigans second.
p.p.s. no hugging, even.

 

[Grimwulf]

Is this roll something that I can do this once, or would it be possible to repeat after every election?

Missed this question for some reason. Well, we hold elections once a year, so there is little point in planning so far ahead. You and/or your followers might die, go insane, or get exiled before next Winter.

You can make a roll right now, and that's all that matters currently.

To that end, Commissar, I recognize that my infamy precedes me. I cannot help but feel as if I have yet to prove my loyalty through action. When me and mine back your leadership in this time of strife, will you see then that I've come to serve the order of this place and not subvert it?

Loyalty is a loaded word. Tell you what, support your Kommissar, and your act will not go unnoticed. Grimwulf is a sentimental dwarf.

Spoiler

 

[Lithium Flower]

Here it goes, then. As my mentor once wrote, "I can't stand this indecision / Married with a lack of vision / Everybody wants to rule the world"

 

[BrotherFrank]

Citizen is the greatest shit talker the prolebashers have at their disposal and Lithium is a race traitor, neither can be broker. If I wasn't saddled with a baby and more gear then I could carry I'd give that harlot a taste of my mind but I guess will save my wrath for the election polls.

Eugh Spigot was doing such a good job too, handled the humans well but especially loved his way of dealing with the elves. 12 virgins raped and a forest burned? Now this is a broker we can respect.

 

[Reinhardt]

12 virgins raped and a forest burned? Now this is a broker we can respect.

Don't listen to elven propaganda or you will end traitor too.

 

[Lithium Flower]

12 virgins raped and a forest burned? Now this is a broker we can respect.

Don't listen to elven propaganda or you will end traitor too.

Live by the sword, die by the sword.

:^)

 

[a bear named spigot]

i've never even seen an elf, definitely didn't rob any

 

[RoBoBOBR]

That is not propaganda, that is elven fear.

 

[baud]

I had some free time and found a good base picture for the forging of Kalin's hammer.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Maybe my dorf should be a broker, he had social skills and shit

 

[Reinhardt]

Maybe my dorf should be the broker. I'm butcher, doctor and wrestler - ideal candidate.

 

[Lithium Flower]

"Fuck off, we don't like you anymore" - a tragedy in three acts:

Act 1: Price of Infamy

A moment, Urist.

*pretends not to hear her and shuffles away, head hanging low.*

*catches up with him* Urist! What is the matter? You were seldom so lethargic on the trail.

Can't talk to ye, Flower. Word is they've a rapin' for us who speaks to youse...

I don't think that's-

*scurries off*

Sh...

Act 2: Hell Hath No Fury

*smiles warmly* Kel!

*glares resentfully* Flower.

*already resigned* You too, Kel?

They've been telling us things about you. Things the soldierly and city folk heard that we didn't hear in the frontier towns.

Say it, then. What did they tell you about me?

That you've...been awfully friendly with them elves.

I've lived among them, Kel. But you know this. What else did they say?

*turns red* That you've...that you...

Yes.

*grabs her shoulders, incensed* Listen to me. They've told me to disown you, to sabotage you, and...worse. I won't do any of that 'cause I ain't their fucking slave. But you'll never again find me at your side...nor on top of you, neither. *lets go of her and walks off*

Kel!

*stops in his tracks but does not turn around*

Does this piece of information truly change the way you see me? Is it truly enough to make you regret all the time we've spent together? If you can forgive me for falling on the wrong side of the war - for taking a life, even! - surely you can forget this tiny, irrelevant piece of history. Kel! Do you not recall the words I whispered into your ear but a fortnite ago? Let me remind you:

"I'd sell my soul for you babe / For money to burn with you / I'd give you all, and have none, babe / Just, just, justa, justa to have you here by me"

*turns around*

Whore. *Finally storms off*

Shit.

Act 3: The Charm

So, what do you think?

A... "voting block?"

Aye. For the good of the fortress. To ensure that when the elven invasion washes over this place like a deluge, it finds an island of unity and competence, not some dysfunctional-

Just one question Flower: do you have a deathwish?

???

It is bad enough that you've walked up to the big boss himself and practically demanded that he make you their military commander, and now you are making plans to monopolize their entire political process. You realize that's why people get assassinated, right?

...Aye. And yet someone has to-

Well, someone ain't gonna be us. This place its own leaders, its own rules - you no longer have the final say! Harsh but that's the way of things, innit. Next year, perhaps, when we're no longer stared at for mer'ly breathing, we can have this talk again...no sooner, though. You've done well by us refugees on the trail and the backroads but you can't expect us to turn into targets-

"Done well?!" I've collected you and yours from a ditch! Your babe was as skinny as a twig - would have perished had I not shared my scarce few provisions with you. I've plucked you from the dirt, and now that I ask you for help you dare to give me naught but derision?

Fuck off, cunt. You don't own us. *Leaves*

Shitfuck.

 

[Andnjord]

Let's see, what would my dorf do....

Spoiler

''believes that honesty is a high ideal''...''respects fair dealing and fair play''...''highest regard for loyalty, respects the law''

That settles it, I cannot in good conscience betray my Kommissar and the laws of Redlabored.

''tries to return favours''

And since Helly did set up my smithy, I won't inform the Kommissar of her betrayal either.

 

[Citizen]

Change of plans. I'm starting my campaign for a Prolebashers Kommander office.

: *shouts from a tribune* My dear Kameraden! Let me ask you a question: What is a Dwarf? A short creature, blah blah, fond of DRINK AND INDUSTRY, you say. But are we living the like dwarfs, merrily drinking and working all day and peacefully sleeping at night, or are we living like rats, hiding, afraid of every shadow? This is not a life for a dwarf!

: We need an army, a mighty defensive power that will allow us to live and work without fear, like our vorfahren did! Walk with your nose up high, dwarf!

: But Prolebashers, in their current state, are not capable of being such power. We need changes. Down with inadequate conscription system! I will create a new, modern version of Prolebashers, a well oiled steam machine of an army! No more coscripts! Only high paid professionals equipped with cutting-edge dwarven weaponry!

: Vote for Citizen in military kommander election this year! Citizen 126!

Kalin Let's make a deal. You are one of the few military inclined dwarfs in that kastle, so there's no point of kicking you out of militia. It's not your fault the Prolebashers are the way they are, you just fell victim to the infamous Peter principle. If you vote for me, you'll become my right hand and drill instructor for kadets. You keep all the priveleges, I mean BONAZ, of your current position (kicking the shit out of recruits and not doing any actual work), but no more responsibilities! I will also make you a "qvaliteh kontrollah" for all the new weaponry, so you can play with all the high tech new warhammers our forges produce, before giving them away to soldiers

BrotherFrank Vote for me gurl, and I'll promote you to Kalin's deputy. You will also get a paid vacation to look after a child if you need one

Usury Lagole Gon I will not enforce military service on the dwarfs who clearly have a lot of ambitions in different jobs, so you'll be free to go in case I get the office

 

[tindrli]

I will keep digging. Yes. Thats what ill do