Kodex Kommunistic Kastle. Fortress. Dwarf Fortress.

[Helly]

Okay, quick question: Why people here want verbally handicaped dorf to keep his position as a broker? He literally makes trade trade interface dysfunctional.

For the same reason we got an egotistical leader and a crazy commander. Kommunism!

 

[a bear named spigot]

I gained a lot of respect for Kalin when he went hole diving and put his pervert bashing skills to good use on those degenerate primitives. and now it's becoming clear that I've been mistaking his genius for madness, he's one of the few talking sense around here.

like, what the fuck is this shit

Agenda №2: One year in the mines/military.
If Kalin would like to see spigot in his ranks, sent him there. Otherwise I think he'd much better help in mining. His broker decisions are one of the major things which seperated us from the outside world.

this is a good thing you dope, the outside world is where the DEER and ELVES are. we WANT to be separated from them. disgusting freaks like this want to be playing grab ass with elf men, NOT ME.

 

[Reinhardt]

the outside world is where the DEER and ELVES are. we WANT to be separated from them.

unless they are already among us.

 

[Lithium Flower]

Vote Lithium Flower for Broker! Prosperity and Safety from the Elves await!

I will not waste my time defending myself against old charges. My abilities speak for themselves - I have the best skills for the job as per my analysis above. If you challenge this, bring me second best and I will show you why I am the superior choice just like I did with Citizen.

Additionally, I would like to outline two policies I will be implementing as broker:

Policy #1: Unity Initiative
Being that I will have considerable influence over our imports, I will take suggestions directly from the dwarves of this fortress before making my choice as to what to import. Ultimately my choice will be my own, but I will consider every perspective, especially from the most industrious and knowledgeable among us. We must stand united in these tumultuous times, as we stood united with Commissar Grimwulf!

Policy #2: Ambush the Elves!
The war with the Elves is inevitable. However, it is our choice to either wander into it blindly or to prepare ourselves. Through my policies as broker, I will avoid needlessly antagonizing the elves as my predecessor did to buy us time to prepare an ambush for when they come to us with war. When the Elves finally ambush us, it will be in fact us ambushing them!

***

As for everything else, since I am new here I will vote a bit later after seeing others' perspectives.

 

[Reinhardt]

I will not waste my time defending myself against old charges. My abilities speak for themselves - I have the best skills for the job as per my analysis above. If you challenge this, bring me second best and I will show you why I am the superior choice just like I did with Citizen.

You still don't understand how communism works so you are clearly not fit for anything other than mining duty.

 

[Lithium Flower]

bitch do me a favour and stick that sock in your mouth

 

[Reinhardt]

You wanna fight, dwarf murderer? Let's fight.

 

[Lithium Flower]

 

[Andnjord]

Agenda №1: Option 2: Open the damn gates. I've murdered Elf traders and they still didn't attack. We'll be fine. Also I'll need some more charcoal soon.

Agenda №2: Option 2: Banish him to Gulag. Because I want to see him and Helly living together, The Odd Couple style.

Agenda №3: Option 2: Remain Independent. DEATH TO THE BOURGEOISIE

Elections:
Militia Commander - Kalin. He's easy to bribe with silver warhammers He's getting the hang of it, he's getting better I'm sure.
Manager - RoBoBOBR. It would be a nice change to have someone in charge who actually knows what they're doing. Just for one year, then we can go back to our traditional madness.
Broker - Citizen. Lithium Flower has way to much ego. Oh, and he's an elf lover of course
Bookkeeper - Squeeco. Because what's better than a bookeeper with absolutely no agenda whatsoever, right?
Chief Medical Dwarf - Blobra. 'cause she got charisma.

HOWEVAR, this time around you cannot vote for Helly, Wayward Son, and Spigot.

Just a reminder for Storyfag, Lizzurd and Kalin

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Open the gates, let spiggy mine, and fuck the queen.

 

[Citizen]

Agenda №1: Open the gates! We are not dying here trapped like rats!

Agenda №2: Exile to Archipelag Gulag. Spigot is the one responsible for the elves situation, so it's fair if he's the first one to face their attack.

Agenda №3: Accept Queen's protectorate, dorfs should help each other!

Elections:
Militia Commander - Citizen! The beatiful future of Prolebashers is ALMOST there!
Manager - Sukhāvatī
Broker - Citizen
Bookkeeper - sqeecoo
Chief Medical Dwarf - Azira

 

[Lizzurd]

Agenda №1: Open the gates

Agenda №2: Spigot should stay broker for another year, he is doing just fine

Agenda №3: No queen, no homo

Elections:
Militia Commander - Kalin
Manager - Lithium Flower
Broker - Spigot
Bookkeeper - Sqeecoo
Chief Medical Dwarf - Azira

 

[vazha]

Newspapers don't lie: Spigot is the cause of our current problems. Such a terrible assault must not be left unanswered!

[/spoiler]

And lest we forget, lets remind ourselves that overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.

As for other shenanigans: Luks like Melbil might end up being the dwarven anticryzto after all. Coming back to Redlabored with fiery vengeance against his progenitor.

Op-ed title for the newspaper's next issue: The Queen That Never Was: Of Hellspawn, Treason and Plot
We'll argue the following:

1. Were her coup d'etat to succeed, Helly would get rid of that useless husbando of hers
2. Sometime after becoming the Kommissar, Kalin would mysteriously or heroically (depends whom you ask) perish in caverns below, but not before recognizing littul Melbil as his soon - it's pointless the deny it at this point. The LUK is there.
3. Helly would declare monarchy and become queen regent until littul Melbil would've come of age.

Yep, that's how it all was. Cracked a tough nut with this one, top kwality journalism right here. Wouldn't be possible without the information supplied by certain Edward Snowdenson, a dwarf who recently escaped the infamous Kingdomstole Archives and tuk many a classified scroll with him.

As for voting:

1. Open them gates, we're proud dorfenfolk, not some goblins lurking in the shadows.
2. Shaft the Queenie. Declare Imperium of Dorf if pressed.
3. Spigot punishment - sent him down to the mines. In my stead. I should be a legendary miner at this point, I believe. The next logical step - heavy armor training. After that Andnjord can craft me a silver pickaxe mayhaps? Enter the mighty nutcracker prestige class - as masterful at prancing as cracking skulls (and nuts, of every variety) with a pickax. Glory. Fabulous Glory. :swoons:

4. Elections:

Kommander - Our resident Conan
Manager - Citizen would bring about some much needed class, methinks.
Broker - Reinhardt , if his BB experience is anything to go by, we'll be swimming in riches in no time.
Bookkeeper - squeeko stays.
Chief Medical Dwarf - Azira . Cause it's a prestigious LP, after all.

p.s. will other positions (for example, intelligence service related, or chief architect / gardener / sheepshagger become available later as we develop?

 

[Grimwulf]

p.s. will other positions (for example, intelligence service related, or chief architect / gardener / sheepshagger become available later as we develop?

Yes. Building a prison will unlock Captain of the Guard and Hammerer positions. Building Skullfort (surface fort) will unlock Marksdwarf Captain position. Building a Hospital will give the position of CMD a whole new meaning. Zoo needs a zookeeper; temples need high priest, etc.

We shall also assign lifetime honorary titles, more on that in the future updates. Politics gonna get much more complex as Redlabored grows.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Yes. Building a prison will unlock Captain of the Guard and Hammerer positions. Building Skullfort (surface fort) will unlock Marksdwarf Captain position. Building a Hospital will give the position of CMD a whole new meaning. Zoo needs a zookeeper; temples need high priest, etc.

Hmmm...

 

[BrotherFrank]

Glad I fence sitted the last vote...Helly if I can smuggle you some food I totally will, us mothers gotta help each other out.

Agenda №1: Option 2
Sealing ourselves underground was all fun and games until we ran out of booze. I've got a baby to think of now and I refuse to raise her sober.

Agenda №2: Option 3
Spigot has done nothing wrong. Who here hasn't gotten drunk and threatened world revolution? Exactly. And he has been a great broker so any attempt to remove him is clearly the work of deer infiltrators.

Agenda №3: Option 2
So we now have a magnificent golden Dwarf Emperor and the first thing we do is....Pledge allegiance to the Queen whose kingdom we had all left? Some dwarves call me crazy but even I struggle to follow things here, if you didn't want Grimwulf as your undisputed golden god then should have voted Helly.

Elections:
Militia Commander - Ka- Oh wait Citizen is voting? Ok then Citizen.
Manager -Sukhāvatī We will force her to socialize whether she likes it or not.
Broker - Kalin He just proved his negotiating skills with the troglodytes, so if spigot is out then Kalin is a fit replacement.
Bookkeeper - Bliblablubb Squeeco's done an ok job so far but I got a good feeling about this dwarf.
Chief Medical Dwarf - Azira. Baud didn't die and that is clearly down to Azira's medical expertise. I've heard some dwarves say it's actually because he is a monster or something but that's the lack of booze talking.

 

[Andnjord]

After that Andnjord can craft me a silver pickaxe mayhaps?

I mean, sure if you want to I could. But silver makes for pretty lousy weapons except for warhammers and maces. A copper one would actually be more effective.

 

[Reinhardt]

we'll be swimming in riches in no time.

That's not how trade under kommunism works. I trade, i share with kommissar and other apparatchiks, i hide leftovers in the warehouse until it rot away. From time to time i distribute something to prevent revolution. Everyone equally miserable, but not TOO miserable.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Okay. I will also vote Citizen for Kommander.

That's my best chance.

 

[Reinhardt]

For example, if i was Helly i would open still, but lock down warehouse with booze.

 

[Demo.Graph]

Gates - closed, at least until Sukhavati or anyone makes something resembling defence perimeter at the gates.
Spigot - 1 year mining, because we need manpower and he's a well-meaning komrade at heart. Probably.
Politics - Independence!

Militia Commander - Kalin is ok, unless he conscripts me.
Manager - Sukhāvatī. I'm but an old man that likes silent confident women on top.
Broker - No idea. Do we have anyone with appraiser skill? If no, then Vazha, because he would totally obliterate all opposition during oral competitions.
Bookkeeper - sqeecoo, but I can help too if no bartending jobs are available.
Chief Medical Dwarf - Bliblablubb because medicine is an eldritch art.

 

[Reinhardt]

Militia Commander - Kalin is ok, unless he conscripts me.

That's not how you deal with Kalin. Learned it hard way...

 

[vazha]

After that Andnjord can craft me a silver pickaxe mayhaps?

I mean, sure if you want to I could. But silver makes for pretty lousy weapons except for warhammers and maces. A copper one would actually be more effective.

Make that two copper pickaxes then, please. Dual wielding is fab. One I'll name Nutcracker, the other... Assraker? Will have to ponder more about this.

 

[Reinhardt]

Broker - No idea. Do we have anyone with appraiser skill? If no, then Vazha, because he would totally obliterate all opposition during oral competitions.

and then SUDDENLY

One I'll name Nutcracker

That's why you should vote for Reinhardt. I'm not backstabber. And NO HOMO!

 

[vazha]

Haggling is such a base endeavor, far beneath my stature. You shall have no competition from this dwarf. I have spoken.