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Wha-- Not gonna let the veggie have all the fun! *CHARGES*
Don't just STAND there, people! FIREAH! *pulls the trigger*
Heh heh, NAILED YOU!
*GURGLE*
She doesn't really need our help.
HEY! STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!!!
*stuggles to catch up*
*FIRES TEH LAZOR AGAIN*
OH FFFF--
FFFUCK! FUCK! FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! THAT BARELY MISSED ME! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FFFFFFUCKING MIND?!
*pop pop pop*
SQUAAAD! At ease.
Phew.
Guess I owe you now, huh? That oversized aubergine specifically.
*makes sound of a drowning cat trying to purr*
Good job, Bilbo. Now go kill more deers.
*excited popping*
Am I dreaming this?
Name's Spigot. Nice to meet ya.
ERYFKRAD.
Yet another stupid name.
This hearty fella 'ere is Kalin. So, how old are you, son?
Twenty one.
Riiiight...
What? I'm living a stressful life.
ARE YOU DONE YET?! Grab those still convulsing and patch them up. SPIGOT, ye'r the new doctor.
On it, Kommissar.
Look at all this mess. Such a waste of good meat.
Just kiddin'. ERYFKRAD's appearance will change next update.
YES, I played this part of the day being in that particular unsavory condition. I was actually quite surprised when I saw that screenshot.
Stop judging!
*psshhh* The prisoners are ready to be served. Mind if I get some sleep? I am fucking exhausted.
*psshhh* Make sure you place your bed near Kalin's. The guy just loves listening to snores of men. He's weird like that.
*psshhh* Snore on me, ERYFKRAD, I dare you! You'll see how easily my halberd dives into your throat and comes out of your ass! I call it "the mouth candle" - my way of snore treatment!
What's your take on the new guy?
He smells of bacon. Good smell.
Humm, I can do a full psychoanalysis on ERYFKRAD.
Go on.
Where do I begin...
He sure likes cooking. Surely it goes back to his childhood. It all started with shashlik!
Look at him now. A travelling Master Chef renown throughout the continent! Probably.
He's FAT, though. Which means he's slow.
Hommm, chefs do steaks, right? He can gut deer corpses then? Am I right? Friends?
Refined taste in meat is exactly what KKK needs. No more dog testicles.
Chefs are gentle and subtle people. That's one thing I know for a fact.
So, huummmm, yeah. He is an easy-going sort of guy.
*applauds*
*mumbles* Who I'm gonna call? Ghost Fuckers! pu-bum-bum-bum-bum-pum
Komrade Raj!
I am no komrade of yours, Kommissar Grimwulf. You lead the Master astray.
Blob decided to join KKK willingly. And so should you.
I can no longer feel the mental cord connecting us. All the joy and fulfillment - gone. Sense of purpose - gone. I feel alone and devastated. I want to kill myself...
Yer average slav mood. You'll fit right in.
Begone. I'm going back to the Society. I'll find a new Master.
*psshhhh* All fixed.
*psshhh* Wat? Azira would be torturing them for several days at least.
Eh, no big deal. A few missing limbs here and there - they will be fine.
A real doctor, eh? That's new. Anyway, what the fuck is happening with Bliblablubb?
*sound of a whale choking on chainsaw*
Ehrm... Hrmpf.
She's SLEEPING, you dummy! Isn't she adorable?
Why is she sleeping outside..?
Why indeed, Azira?
Grimwulf? What in nine hells are you doing, Grimwulf?
Not funny. Stop! GRIMWULF, NO!!!
DON'T YOU DARE, GRIM! I WILL HAUNT YOU FOREVER!
There you go, Blibs. Your new home.
A bit later.
It came to my attention you moved a bed to the crypt, Komissar.
Is it for Bliblablubb?
Aye, what of it?
She's an Elder Thing, Kommissar. They don't sleep on beds. They don't, well, lay down at all.
In fact, Masters don't require sleep.
So what? Kalin doesn't require sleep as well. Doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a shoddy bed.
Look, Kommissar. It doesn't take much to make Bliblablubb happy.
And I, of all people, couldn't care less about her well-being. Considering the whole enslaving stuff. But... *sigh*
Are you trying to bore me to death?
She needs a chamber.
With hooks on the inner walls. For the tentacles.
And I need more people in KKK, if you catch my drift.
For the last time, Kommissar Grimwulf - NO!
Would you give us a moment in private, Kommissar?
Hrmpf. *walks away*
Raj.
DON'T, Matvei. I'm going back to the Society.
You won't make it there alone. And you know it.
I'm willing to take that risk.
It's not a risk. It's suicide. *something in the dark echoes "SUICIDE" in eerie whispers* Wh-- did you hear that?
Hear what?
The whispers? *looking around* Maybe just wind...
You look tired, Matvei. Please, go to bed.
I'm not going anywhere until you promise me to stay. This isn't the life you are used to, I know. You won't find joy or comfort here. But here you can make a difference, Raj. Achieve something. Make your life mean something.
...
I want to be remembered after I'm gone. Do you think the Elder Things remember their slaves? Your mental cord was gone just because Bliblablubb forgot you even exist. Because of what - a chance of tasting vodka-flavored ice cream? Is that really all you worth, Raj?
Fine. I promise... to think about it.
And while you do... I... They...
Matvei?
*looking at his shaking hands*
Are you alright?
They are so, so... wrong. I could become so... much... more.
What?
I COULD BECOME SO MUCH MOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!
*jumps away gasping*
*cuts his wrists*
MATVEI!
*having otherwordly visions of himself transforming into Thing That Should Not Be*
SOMEONE PLEASE HEEEEEEEEELP!!!
MAKE YOUR KEY CHOICE
Collective voting
Agenda №1: Of Gods and Science.
Lenin didn't believe in Gods. He's dead.
Stalin didn't believe in Gods. He's dead.
Religion was forbidden in Soviet Union. Now there is no Soviet Union at all.
People in the Old Continent believed in technology, progress, power and turrets. They suffered GENOCIDE, falling victims to murderous deers.
MAYBE THE TIME HAS COME TO TRY A DIFFERENT APPROACH?
1. No. We do it the old-fashioned way.
A research bench for slow and steady tech advancement. Turrets, brewing, carpet making - everything a komrade can wish for! Maybe someday we take a look at that unholy book of Spigot.
2. Yes. Science won't bring Azira back. It won't help us if the Grimdeer comes. ONLY THE GODS WILL!!!
We have to gain the Forbidden Knowledge. We have to open that book.
We have to go deeper.
Agenda №2: Savages Among Us.
They came to KKK with weapons and paid for it dearly. What do we do with survivors? Convincing them to join is an option. Shouldn't be too hard.
Forcing them to work as slaves is another option. Although, they are quite useless as workers considering the missing limbs.
Releasing them will mprove our relations with their tribe.
DECIDE THEIR FATE!
1. Execute in the name of Justice!
2. Force to work in the name of Labor!
3. Recruit in the name of Equality!
4. Release in the name of Freedom! 5. HARRRRRRRRRRRVEST THEIR ORGANS AND EAT THE CORPS-- For fucks sake, Spigot!
Agenda №3: The Double-Edged Sword of Hospitality.
We can recruit Raj. Spigot convinced her to stay just before he entered that special state of mind.
BUT SHOULD WE?
So, here is the deal. If we don't invite her to stay, she will leave soon enough. Depending on her overall impressions about the time spent in KKK, it might improve or further decline the relations with her faction, Society of The Elder Things.
Since we shamelessly recruited Spigot and Bliblablubb, faction's goodwill dropped down thru the ground. It's currently -46. Going any lower is basically declaring a war. You all saw what Bliblablubb did with poor savages on her own. Imagine an army of Bliblablubbs invading KKK.
If we recruit Raj, THERE WILL BE WAR WITH THE ELDER THINGS. If we let her go, it could go both ways.
1. Let go. The Eldritch are not to be trifled with.
2. Recruit. More komrades. More warfare.
1. No. We do it the old-fashioned way.
For now. In the end, you need dark magic to make the KKKommunism work, but we don't even have the basics now. There's no haste. 5. HARRRRRRRRRRRVEST THEIR ORGANS AND MAKE FURNITURE FROM THEIR SKINS!
It's the progressive thing to do. 1. Let go. The Eldritch are not to be trifled with.
Well, I get the feeling that Ze Komissar wouldn't installed the mod bothered with all the trees and grimoires if he wouldn't wanted to experiment with The Powers That Shouldn't Be Even Thought About, so I vote 2 on the question 1. After all, life in a Kommunistic Kolony is a Kafkian nightmire already, why not make it a Lovecraftian too?
As for question 2, I vote that we recruit the armless female in the name of Diversity and the force her to labor, and release the male in the name of Freedom (and why the fuck you need an armless, legless worker?). So3, 4 on female and male respectively.
And the last question, 3 - Nooo, KKK is to weak right to fight with Elder Beings. So 1, let her go.
The KKK must regroup and rebuild. There will be time for more expansion and warfare, but why not see what magic the dark tome of Rasputin Spigot holds?
2 that grimoire was transcribed from the glowing red tree of KKKommunism. To disregard the Red Book is to disregard KKKommunism. 4 They're useless to us, but if they are released and relations improve, maybe we can recruit someone actually useful. They're mouths to feed and have missing limbs. Out. 1 Don't make enemies of the laser wielding aliens. At least not yet..
1. We don't need this mumbo-jumbo. Only sweat, blood and firepower.
4. Release and say it was misunderstanding. Blame bliblublargh.
2. Recruit. Seems like non-amputees are rare on this continent.
1.SCIENCE created Vodka, SCIENCE created icecream, SCIENCE created mah lazor. SCIENCE the will make the KKK stronk. (Of course that means Cleve's Grimoire will be researched at a later time as well. FOR SCIENCE!)
4. Release. Humans need 2 arms and legs to funtion properly, right?. Why do you squishy beings have so few of them, loose one and you are a useless already. Send them away, they would only eat my icecream.
1. Let her go. I might my a triggerhappy vegetable, but I draw a line when it comes to shooting mah people, creatures of love, peace and harmony. Nope.
1. Do it the hard way. Don't trust Grimoire's promises.
Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
2 - I bet we can fix those stupid proles with some improvised peg legs. They'll be amusing to watch and should be pretty easy to catch if they try to "run" away.
1 - Don't trust that bitch one bit, and those slimeblob things are bad news.
1. As fun as oKKKult tomes might be, we need to bring back the glory of INDUSTRIALISATION first.
ANYTHING BUT 3. The prisoners are useless (would you try and NOT shoot the arms of the next bunch off Bliblablubb ?). If you need a specific vote, let it be 4.
1. Blib is terrible in xer fury. We don't want to see more angry Elder Things.
2. Embrace the forbidden knowledge, become master of arcane and warden of sacred grimwah
2. Harvest them for organs. Should result in a nice psycho atmosphere around. Fun!
2. War. Kill, rape, pillage!
2.
5.
2.
As far as I remember, Raj supposed to be named after me. Don't want to wait any longer for my pawn! Recruit the bitch. War means more elder things to capture and force to work on our side 8) (or faster demise, we'll see about that)
2.5 - Food is the only thing a Kommunist needs after booze, and maybe Kalin will get a new eye. Potential heterochromia would be just a minor inconvenience.
3.1 - I don't trust that wench. And she isn't funny enough for me to look the other way.
Do not fall into the mistake of our forefathers! Remember the words of our Great Teacher, Marx himself! "Die Religion ist der Seufzer der bedrängten Kreatur, das Gemüt einer herzlosen Welt, wie sie der Geist geistloser Zustände ist. Sie ist das Opium des Volkes!" Nothing good will come out of the Grimoire. Trust only your comrades and the inevitability of Communism.
The prisoners should be freed. "Macht und Freiheit sind identisch". Improve the goodwill of the Masses. Save them from their own doom.
Likewise, Kommunism always focuses on Peace. The variety of Peace depends on the historical moment, but for now it's indeed wiser to avoid conflict. The new inhuman recruit is a symbol that even amongst alien races Kommunism will triumph. Understood?
Yes. I have two questions, Servant. And a request.
Go wild, Komrade.
First, "...das Gemüt einer herzlosen Welt, wie sie der Geist..." yadda yadda yadda, what the fuck does it means? It sounds like rabid dogs barking. And what the heck is a "Marx"? A kind of cat?
What... what do you mean what is a "Marx", what kind of deranged....
