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Let Me Trainwreck Final Fantasy VII For You! (Completed!)

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Andyman Messiah, Feb 11, 2008.

  1. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    [​IMG] Hello, fellow citizens of the earth. I am Colin Farrell and this is Let's play Final Fantasy VII!
    [​IMG] Oh christ, not you again.
    [​IMG] Yes, it appears that Locue, aka Andyman Messiah, aka The Autistic Squarehead, has gone like totally AWOL on us, so I'm stuck here doing this job until he comes back. If he comes back.
    [​IMG] He's probably at home in a comatose state because he's been laughing so hard at the SomethingAwful vs. Youtube mess.
    [​IMG] Well anyway, let's get an update going! Today we're infiltrating the enemy headquarters, right?
    _________________________________________________________________

    [​IMG] Alright, so the gang headed over to Wall Market to search for clues about getting up on the big pizza. They ran into some kids!

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] That's our ticket up!
    [​IMG] How do you know that? How can you possibly know that the wire leads all the way up to the top?
    [​IMG] I'm Colin Farrell. We have to prepare for the climb! This isn't Everest or Kebnekaise, but it sure as hell is a long way to the top!
    [​IMG] So we're gonna need a rope, right?
    [​IMG] No, but we're definitely going to need batteries!
    [​IMG] Batteries?
    [​IMG] Yes. Batteries.
    [​IMG] Fuck we need damn batteries for?!
    [​IMG] Trust me, we'll need them. Let's go see the weapon shop guy. He should have batteries for sale.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Are we paying money for these?
    [​IMG] We definitely are. Don't worry though, we really need them.
    [​IMG] I'm not worrying.
    [​IMG] Your whole character design is based on worrying!
    [​IMG] Fuck you, Colin.
    [​IMG] Alright, batteries in hand - let's climb that wire!
    [​IMG] You're so gonna pay me back.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] FACT: The graffiti reads "NO MERCY" and "BON SCOTT LIVES!"
    [​IMG] No, it doesn't!
    [​IMG] Yes, it does. In fact...
    [​IMG] Oh no...
    [​IMG] Riding down the highway! Going to the show! Stop in all the byways! Playing rock n' roll!
    [​IMG] Getting robbed!
    [​IMG] Getting stoned!
    [​IMG] Uh... getting beat up?
    [​IMG] Broken boned!
    [​IMG] Getting had!
    [​IMG] Getting took! I tell you folks! IT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS! Alright, let's set up camp here.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Why are we singing an Iced Earth-song for?
    [​IMG] ...
    [​IMG] What?
    [​IMG] Get the hell off my wire.
    [​IMG] Wha--oh motherfuckeeeeeeeeeee-
    [​IMG] Did Cloud just fall off?
    [​IMG] Yes, in an extraordinary turn of bad writing. Probably too much gel on his hands or something. He'll manage. Let's wait for him up here with all the kids. IT'S A LONG WAY TO THE TOP IF YOU WANNA ROCK N' RO-O-OOLL!!!
    ______________________

    [​IMG] THAT FUCKING LEPRECHAUN FUCK! I'LL KILL HIM FOR THIS! Alright, shit, I'm gonna need to get up there again. Lucky I landed on my hair!
    ______________________

    [​IMG] Damn white boy, always falling off shit!
    [​IMG] It's happened before?
    [​IMG] 'Course it has. Damn boy's slippery than a sack full o' snakes or sumthing, I dunno!
    [​IMG] I don't even know what you-Oh hey, Cloud. Glad to see you survived.
    [​IMG] You. Leprechaun. FUCK!
    [​IMG] Keep an eye on what you put on your hands, Cloud. Especially if you're gonna ride black beauty or climb a wall!
    [​IMG] WHAT?!
    [​IMG] CUZ IT'S A LONG WAY TO THE TOP IF YOU WANNA ROCK N' ROLL! Let's go!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Alright, here in the lower right corner you see the first of the three battery puzzles. Basically, you stick a battery in and the path gets opened up or you get an item. Simple. Easy. Completely underwhelming. You would probably much rather see livestock go at it. So we're skipping it.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] FACT: That helicopter is the same helicopter that Tseng used to kidnap Aeris with.

    [​IMG]

    FACT: DRAMATIC POSES HAVE NEVER LOOKED SO DAMN UGLY!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] A'ight, let's go!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Good question, Tifa!
    [​IMG] Really?
    [​IMG] No.

    [​IMG]

    In the next update: bring it on!
     
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  2. afewhours Scholar

    afewhours
    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2007
    Messages:
    562
    Location:
    UK
    Yay! Fine work, sailor! I'm rather tired so I'll just settle for typing:

    MOAR LEPRECHAUNS AND FINAL FANTASY
     
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  3. Julio Scholar

    Julio
    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2007
    Messages:
    229
    It's quite amazing how focused and inspired the Midgar/Shinra part of FF7 was, and how consistent its art direction was, compared to how incredibly mediocre and over-the-map the rest of the game was.
     
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  4. Sovy Kurosei Erudite

    Sovy Kurosei
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,535
    How the heck did people spray grafitti that is two stories high and fifty feet in the air?
     
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  5. Murk Arcane

    Murk
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2008
    Messages:
    13,456
    ^ Giant robots
     
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  6. afewhours Scholar

    afewhours
    Joined:
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    Location:
    UK
    THEY SUMMONED BAHAMUT
     
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  7. RK47 collides like two planets pulled by gravity Patron

    RK47
    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2006
    Messages:
    28,368
    Location:
    Not Here
    Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
    :lol: Keep going, we'll find hoard these unrealistic easter eggs.
     
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  8. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    The kewl factor.

    Also, it's a fantasy! Jesus, Sovy. :roll:
     
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  9. Admiral Rimjob POOBUM Arcane

    Admiral Rimjob POOBUM
    Joined:
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    5,933
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    Scotland
    Did you get AC/DC and Iced Earth mixed up or am I missing something
     
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  10. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
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    Iced Earth did a cover of the song. It sucks and it makes sense that Cloud is more familiar with it than the original version.
     
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  11. Admiral Rimjob POOBUM Arcane

    Admiral Rimjob POOBUM
    Joined:
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    5,933
    Location:
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    Oh.
    Iced Earth... did a cover of...
    ...dear god.
     
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  12. Murk Arcane

    Murk
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2008
    Messages:
    13,456
    Yeah, it's exponential suckitude.
     
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  13. jiujitsu Cipher

    jiujitsu
    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2004
    Messages:
    1,444
    Project: Eternity
    I just started a game today. Downloaded the PC version off of a torrent site.
     
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  14. Radisshu Prophet

    Radisshu
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2007
    Messages:
    5,623
    I recommend you to use an emulator-rom combination instead, the PC version is buggy as hell.
     
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  15. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    You terrorist, you.

    Make sure you get it patched and modded up.

    Yes, I know. The world we live in is a frightening world.
     
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  16. Nightjed Liturgist

    Nightjed
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    675
    Location:
    Wasteland
    its not that bugged, there is only a very bad one when you reach red xiii's town that depending on your hardware causes it to hang up, if it happens install in another computer, play until the next save point and go back to your original box.
    on the other hand, the pc version looks a LOT better (except movies, thats the only thing that looks better on psx) and the translation is also better (they fixed a lot of typos and errors)

    but its difficult to beat the savestate option of epsxe. and in epsxe you can cheat your way to lv 99 in a few minutes instead of spending 40 hours in the last dungeon
     
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  17. Suicidal Arcane

    Suicidal
    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2007
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    1,903
    Location:
    Worstest cuntry EU
    I did the same. Locue's thread inspired me to experience this on my own skin.

    Besides, it couldn't possibly be worse than oblivion.
     
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  18. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Oh my god, I feel so horrible. :lol:

    (In all fairness, though, it's really a good game with plenty of fun to be had if you know what to look for, just like in Oblivion's case.)

    I've been busy playing ahead (I'm in the Gold Saucer at the moment) and so I've been stocking up updates like a motherfucker. I really have to start putting them out. First part of the industrial raid shenanigans is on its way.
     
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  19. ghostdog Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    ghostdog
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2007
    Messages:
    10,793
    I also recommend an emulator for this game, save states are pretty handy there. But If you decide to stick with the pc ver. use the hi-res models patch.

    What?? you've been palying behind our backs? You're having fun at gold saucer while we wait hoping for an update? shame on you ! :P
     
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  20. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Fun is... kind of an overstatement. I didn't take too many screenshots of the Gold Saucer as I think it's a very weak area during this stage of the game. It'll be fun once
    Show Spoiler
    I become a chocobo-jockey
    and
    Show Spoiler
    can start fighting in the battle square.
    But even then... meh. It's just the place where all minigames hang out in case you want to try them a second time. I think I only have three non plot-related screenshots: the entrance, the turtles paradise poster and Cloud standing in the middle of the arcade. I saved the last jpg-file as "a bunch of minigames I will never play!!.jpg" We'll be back there anyway so I'll do a special arcade update then. :wink:

    I've also started doing the first actual levelling to get most materia up to level 2 and while it's killing me, I figured I needed to just in case the level 1 crap starts to fizzle.

    Also: yes, I'm such a naughty, naughty boy. :P
     
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  21. Texas Red Whiner

    Texas Red
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2006
    Messages:
    7,044
    Is the graffity in the Jap version also written in English?
     
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  22. Damned Registrations Prestigious Gentleman Furry Weeaboo Nazi Nihilist

    Damned Registrations
    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2007
    Messages:
    14,111
    I don't really get this. I probably did this the first time I played through just because I'm a power whore, but every time I've played since then I've gotten by on limit breaks and whatever materia I happened to have by then. I usually jammed extra All materia on people just to sell off when it's mastered. Random battles are cake even without magic, and if you keep everyone in Hyper your limit breaks + summons + support spells will trash any bosses you run into anyways.

    Besides, why bother grinding for xp/ap now when you'll be getting that when you have to grind for all the chocobo shit later anyways?
     
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  23. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    I would think so, but I honestly don't care enough to do any research on the matter. It do seem like something people who doesn't speak english would spray, though. If I may be so utterly correct.

    Me neither, but I have to kill time somehow. :wink:

    My combat philosophy for FF7 is that spamming All+Whatever magic you want is very, very effective.

    There's not much difference between fire and fire2 and I don't care at all for limit breaks. I'm at the desert prison and the only limit break I've gained is the cross slash. Yes, that's how badass/smug I am. I'm just running through the game, throwing fireballs at monsters. You do not need to put any effort in fighting monsters and grinding. Beating the bosses will boost your levels well enough to deal with new monsters that'll pop up until you beat the next boss.
     
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  24. Jasede Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron Sad Loser

    Jasede
    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2005
    Messages:
    23,590
    Monsters give XP in this FF? Are you sure? I know they don't give any in pretty much every FF I played, and I don't remember them giving any in 7 either, which made it good for the "Low Level" playthrough where you flee from every battle and try to avoid levelling up at all. (This is amazingly fun in FF 6 and 8)
     
    • Brofist Brofist x 1
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  25. afewhours Scholar

    afewhours
    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2007
    Messages:
    562
    Location:
    UK
    Yep
     
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