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Let Me Trainwreck Final Fantasy VII For You! (Completed!)

Joined
Jul 26, 2008
Messages
355
Zomg said:
Pardon me if this has come up in the thread, but has anyone ever redone the original shithammer translation of this game?

Eidos, and Square punished them for it by never letting them release any more FF games on the PC.
 

LarsTheSurly

Scholar
Joined
Aug 1, 2008
Messages
137
Location
Surrounded by idiots
Jackson willingly took a bullet in the chest. How the fuck can you get any more awesome than that?

Oh, I know: If it was part of your plan. That's right, the man INTENDED TO BE SHOT IN THE CHEST. To Jackson, it wasn't so much a duel as an "I can eat more lead than you" contest. All this to defend his wife's honor.

If you think that's "emo" than you're out of your damn mind. McCain never did anything "badass" anyway. Being a POW isn't cool. Being tortured isn't cool. McCain's endured more than any man should have to, but he's no badass.

Beating a man half your age (who happens to be armed with TWO pistols) with a cane is badass.

Andrew_Jackson.jpg
 

Fat Dragon

Arbiter
Joined
May 24, 2007
Messages
3,499
Location
local brothel
LarsTheSurly said:
Jackson willingly took a bullet in the chest. How the fuck can you get any more awesome than that?
Only a fucking dumbass would willingly take a bullet to the lung. It's not awesome in any way.
Oh, I know: If it was part of your plan. That's right, the man INTENDED TO BE SHOT IN THE CHEST. To Jackson, it wasn't so much a duel as an "I can eat more lead than you" contest. All this to defend his wife's honor.
So, he's just another dumbass with a huge ego. Big fucking deal. The man won the duel by pure fucking luck. Had the bullet he'd taken gone just a centimeter over it would have struck his heart and killed him then and there. And he would have died because of acting childish about a little insult to his wife.
If you think that's "emo" than you're out of your damn mind. McCain never did anything "badass" anyway. Being a POW isn't cool. Being tortured isn't cool. McCain's endured more than any man should have to, but he's no badass.
When did this turn into a "who's more badass" contest? It's just people listing who they think would be the best choices for lulz for whatever it is Andy plans on doing.
Beating a man half your age (who happens to be armed with TWO pistols) with a cane is badass.
Beating a disoriented man who's been stunned due to both of his guns misfiring on him is not badass. Again, Jackson only survived due to pure luck; had the guns not misfired he'd have been shot dead on the street. The man's Lucky the fucking Leprechaun, not a badass.
 

LarsTheSurly

Scholar
Joined
Aug 1, 2008
Messages
137
Location
Surrounded by idiots
I don't believe in luck.

These events were affected by Andrew Jackson's aura. Anything that happens to enter his personal space is acted on by a force beyond understanding. The bullet failed to kill Jackson because the Aura of Badassery redirected it. The guns saw that Jackson was armed (with a cane) and shit their pants, rendering them useless.

He was like a superhero. Is Superman an idiot for jumping in front of bullets? Yeah, I didn't think so.
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
Has Jackson ever crashed through a wall shirtless, on a rocketpowered motorcycle, smoking a cigar and blasting two laser pistols? At the same time?

No, I didn't think so. Therefore Jackson was a pussy. End of argument.

Anyway! Speaking of being a twelve year old religious jokester... do any of you want to see me run through the Gold Saucer minigames in the upcoming update? Please take a moment of your time to either answer yes or no, and afterwards you can go back to discuss exactly what manliness means to you.
 

LarsTheSurly

Scholar
Joined
Aug 1, 2008
Messages
137
Location
Surrounded by idiots

Fat Dragon

Arbiter
Joined
May 24, 2007
Messages
3,499
Location
local brothel
Making fun of that Moghouse minigame should provide some lulz. And I think you're required to do the chocobo races to continue the story.
 

Vaarna_Aarne

Notorious Internet Vandal
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
34,585
Location
Cell S-004
MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
Fat Dragon said:
Making fun of that Moghouse minigame should provide some lulz. And I think you're required to do the chocobo races to continue the story.
Fuck yeah. Moghouse is a must, as are others that won't be coming along later (Chocobos).
 

Inziladun

Magister
Joined
Apr 23, 2006
Messages
2,047
Location
Somewhere damp and cold.
Do Moghouse, kkthx.

Don't really give a shit about any of the others. Also I must be the only one that actually enjoyed that Snowboarding mini game, it was actually kinda addicting. The Submarine one wasn't too bad for a couple games either.
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
Hey, everybody! It's another sneak preview!

Chapter 30 - Haaey Baaeby!! and The Return of Flappyjack
Part Three: In which we, among other exciting things, waste precious time playing stupid fucking minigames and adopts a, and read this real careful like now; a failure of a fortune telling robot cat operating a stupid moogle metal gear robot, wielding a megaphone he won't even use as far as I can tell except for limit breaks, into our merry band of heroic, planet-saving freaks! No, folks. It certainly won't get any more decadent than this, folks! We even have Joe Pesci with us tonight.

Hey, Joe Pesci?

Yeah?

I hate to use you like this, but could you kill these three Pokemon-faggots?

Sure thing.

*Joe Pesci killed God!*
*Joe Pesci killed Bubbles!*
*Joe Pesci killed Flappyjack!*
*Joe Pesci has received 3000 XP!*
*Joe Pesci has gone up one level!*
*Joe Pesci has unlocked special achievement: Enemy of Pokemon!*

Thanks, Joe Pesci!

No prob, kid. See you around.

*Joe Pesci has left the buiding!*

(Final version may be annoyingly different from the sneak preview.)
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
You know, I fucking ate this gay..m.

But, seriously:

10-itsminigames_uhHUH.jpg


I'm playing a fucking children's game! Fuck, I'm playing a fucking children's game INSIDE a fucking children's game! It's insane! There's not enough cannabis in the universe!
 

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