Official RPG Codex Discord Server

  1. Welcome to rpgcodex.net, a site dedicated to discussing computer based role-playing games in a free and open fashion. We're less strict than other forums, but please refer to the rules.

    "This message is awaiting moderator approval": All new users must pass through our moderation queue before they will be able to post normally. Until your account has "passed" your posts will only be visible to yourself (and moderators) until they are approved. Give us a week to get around to approving / deleting / ignoring your mundane opinion on crap before hassling us about it. Once you have passed the moderation period (think of it as a test), you will be able to post normally, just like all the other retards.
    Dismiss Notice

Let Me Trainwreck Final Fantasy VII For You! (Completed!)

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Andyman Messiah, Feb 11, 2008.

  1. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Yeah, so I was too tired to do anything FF7-related. I'm going to be too tired tomorrow and the day after tomorrow as well, so expect the update some time friday or saturday instead.
     
    ^ Top  
  2. Radisshu Prophet

    Radisshu
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2007
    Messages:
    5,623
    How dare you be tired?
     
    ^ Top  
  3. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    I'm over 9000 kilometers away from you, man, that's how. :)
     
    ^ Top  
  4. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Alright, you impatient fucks, welcome to Chapter 32 - It's like I'm not even trying! of Let's play Final Fantasy VII, my name is Andyman Messiah and some of you even know what I sound like now. That's creepy. Anyway, where were we now? Oh right, we had just gotten out of jail when suddenly we saw an opportunity for some nice and awesome plot! Let's do it!

    Oh look everyone! It's everyone's favorite madcap comic relief bad guy duo Reeeeeeeno aaaaaaaand Ruuuuuuude!!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] ...
    [​IMG] 'Ey, man, what're you so embargo'assed 'bout, man? 'Ey, you like the ladies, don't ya, huh? Huh!? Huh!!? You do, right?
    [​IMG] ...yes..
    [​IMG] Well, come on, then, come on. Who do you like? I won't tell. My lips are sealed. Look, I'm not even talking to you anymore. Mummuffmufsssss... See?! Come on, just tell me, man.
    [​IMG] ...........Tifa.
    [​IMG] Hmmmm.......
    [​IMG] ....what?
    [​IMG] Nothing. Hmmmmmmmmmm!!! It's just... it's a tough one. Hmmm Hmm Hmmmm!!!
    [​IMG] ..is that the Crazy Motorcycle theme..?
    [​IMG] Eh, I'm sure you're up to the challenge! You'll put her on the mean, lean Rude machine, eh? Eh!!? Yeah man. But, poor Elena, man. She's gonna... I mean, you and her...
    [​IMG] ...no, she likes Tseng...
    [​IMG] Really?
    [​IMG] Yes.
    [​IMG] Oh man, that's awesome! That is SO going on my Twitter! Hey, you know who Tseng likes?
    [​IMG] No?
    [​IMG] That Ancient girl.
    [​IMG] ...is that why he kept hitting her in the face?
    [​IMG] That's love for you, baby!

    FACT: You will notice that a lot of relationships are entirely based on kicking each other in the face.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Maybe you should pay attention to the blue boxes that appear over their heads?
    [​IMG] Quiet you!
    [​IMG] Yeah, be quiet, whore!
    [​IMG] :(
    [​IMG] Tifa, don't... look... Both of you be quiet! I have a feeling someone is behind me...
    [​IMG] Hello!
    [​IMG] Aieee!!
    [​IMG] Hello!
    [​IMG] Oh, it's you.
    [​IMG] I'm Elena! You remember me, right? The blonde screwball female member of the Turks!
    [​IMG] Yeah, don't worry, I remember.
    [​IMG][​IMG] Hi, Elena!
    [​IMG] Wow, that's some nice stereo! Hi, Aeris! Hi, Tifa!
    [​IMG] What are you doing here, Elena? Why aren't you with Reno and Rude?
    [​IMG] Oh, I decided to take a walk. It's hard, being the only girl on a team, you know?
    [​IMG] I couldn't possibly sa...
    [​IMG][​IMG] Oh, Elena. we can only imagine...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Tseng? But he's a complete bastard!
    [​IMG] Don't talk like that about my man, asshole!
    [​IMG] Yeah, don't talk like that about her man, asshole!
    [​IMG] But Aeris, he hit you!
    [​IMG] No, he didn't. I tripped and fell on his fist!
    [​IMG] What?!
    [​IMG] There's, like, a huge difference!
    [​IMG] Yeah!
    [​IMG] Oh yeah? So how did you lose your virginity then? You took your clothes off one day and then tripped and fell on someone's dick?
    [​IMG] No. I just had sex, stupid.
    [​IMG] Right, right...
    [​IMG] So what have you been up to, guys? Not that I'd know already, of course, hahaha!!
    [​IMG] Hahaha!!
    [​IMG] We haven't planted any spies in your party at all, hahahaha!!
    [​IMG] Hahaha!!
    [​IMG] What?
    [​IMG][​IMG] Shut up, Cloud.
    [​IMG] What?
    [​IMG] Well, this has been a blast but I really gotta go now. Y'know, gotta alert the boys! Advance the plot and stuff!
    [​IMG] Oh, they don't read the blue boxes either?
    [​IMG] *sigh* Men!
    [​IMG] What?
    [​IMG] Well, take care, Elena!
    [​IMG] Nice to meet you again!
    [​IMG] Likewise!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Really?
    [​IMG] They're really here?
    [​IMG] Yes, they're really, really here!
    [​IMG] They're actually really here?
    [​IMG] No, they're actually not here!
    [​IMG] ...really?
    [​IMG] That's a real letdown.
    [​IMG] ...it really is...
    [​IMG] I'm really sad.
    [​IMG] ..I don't really know what I'm supposed to feel...
    [​IMG] I'm really gonna cry now. Hold me, Rude.
    [​IMG] ..I really don't want to...
    [​IMG] Please?
    [​IMG] ....
    [​IMG] No, they're REALLY REALLY ACTUALLY RIGHT OVER THERE!!!!
    [​IMG] Alright, they're here!
    [​IMG] ...they're really here.
    [​IMG] Yeah!
    [​IMG] ...what do we do?
    [​IMG] Let's have a chat with them!
    [​IMG] ..alright.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] You can leave now, Elena.
    [​IMG] I can?
    [​IMG] Yes, you can really leave now.
    [​IMG] Alright!

    [​IMG]

    Bring it!

    [​IMG]

    I got two things to say about this screenshot. One: I don't give a shit when I mess up screenshots. And two: Rude won't attack Tifa. Not that it's useful to know in any way. Press the attack button, you fucking moron. Eventually they'll run off!

    [​IMG] REALLY run off!
    [​IMG] ..we really fucked up, Reno.
    [​IMG] Nonsense, McSquigglypants! Everything is going as planned!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] There must be a spy in our midst!
    [​IMG] I bet you'd fuck the spy, you fucking whore!
    [​IMG] What?!
    [​IMG] And I bet you're the spy too!
    [​IMG] What, but I'm an important plot device! How can I be a traitor?
    [​IMG] Because that'd be the best plot twist ever!
    [​IMG] It's definitely a better plot twist than the one they put in instead.
    [​IMG] Shut up, Kiefer.
    [​IMG] Whoa, Kiefer Sutherland and Colin Farrell?! It's been a long time since we saw you two!
    [​IMG] Yeah, uh, we saw you battle those two guys and we ran to help you out but we only just got here.
    [​IMG] Sweetie, you got the eyes of a chipmunk riding a huge eagle gundam wing commander mechwarrior robot!
    [​IMG] Hey baby, let's kiss with lips!
    [​IMG] Oh god!
    [​IMG] Hello!
    [​IMG] Oh god!
    [​IMG] Hello!
    [​IMG] Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
    [​IMG] I know the feeling, Kiefer.
    [​IMG] Shut up!!
    [​IMG] So what are you talking about?
    [​IMG] We're saying there might be a SPY!
    [​IMG] Well, I'm guilty, baby.
    [​IMG] What? Colin, baby...
    [​IMG] Guilty of lovin' you, baby.
    [​IMG] Oh Colin..
    [​IMG] Oh yeah, baby. Let's kiss with tongues!
    [​IMG] Jesus Christ on a marshmallow-flavoured bicycle, I'm throwing up here!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Not even me?
    [​IMG] Why would you be a spy, Deceive?
    [​IMG] Well, my name is Deceive...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] I tagged along with you against your wishes...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] And I'm a cat!
    [​IMG] You are?
    [​IMG] Just look!

    [​IMG] Meow!

    [​IMG] See?!
    [​IMG] Yeah, I saw.
    [​IMG] I still see!
    [​IMG] So I have to be a spy, don't I?
    [​IMG] Makes sense to me!
    [​IMG] But you're not a real cat!
    [​IMG] Ah HA!
    [​IMG] You're a ROBOT CAT!
    [​IMG] Yeah... but... Ahh, okay, so I'm not a spy. Whatever!
    [​IMG] Exactly! Stop messing around, cat.
    [​IMG] The real spy is still on the loose...
    [​IMG] DUH DUH DUNNNNN!!!
    [​IMG] Thank you, Colin.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] You must be really stupid, Cloud.
    [​IMG] Hey, I fucked you, didn't I?
    [​IMG] Hahaha, burn ice, bitch!
    [​IMG] Well, I certainly don't trust everyone.
    [​IMG] Oh?
    [​IMG] Yeah.


    In the next chapter of Let's play Final Fantasy VII - FLASHBACK TIME!!

    [​IMG] Really?
    [​IMG] Yeah.
     
    ^ Top  
  5. Dire Roach Prophet

    Dire Roach
    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2007
    Messages:
    1,592
    Location:
    Machete-Knight Academy
    This little scene really shows off how intricately written the characters' personalities and relationships are in this game. It also indirectly asks the player, "which character would you like to have sex with most?" I can't see how people can deny the fact that this game truly defined the RPG genre.
     
    ^ Top  
  6. ghostdog Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    ghostdog
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2007
    Messages:
    10,789
    I totally agree! The "which character would you like to have sex with most?" question is even more important than the "what can change the nature of a man" rhetoric question... I mean you ask yourself the first question all the time, who gives a shit about nature and man and shit?
     
    ^ Top  
  7. Radisshu Prophet

    Radisshu
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2007
    Messages:
    5,623
    Aeris being the spy WOULD be pretty cool, it would even make sense. The first time you encounter her is with the turks, it could be a really advanced double agent thing set up to get Cloud for some reason. Or maybe Sephiroth in the long run. Whatever.
     
    ^ Top  
  8. Fat Dragon Arbiter

    Fat Dragon
    Joined:
    May 24, 2007
    Messages:
    3,499
    Location:
    local brothel
    Not sure how I missed this update. Anyways, was pretty lulzy. It really really was.

    So, are we done with Gongaga? If you ask me the other parts for that area are just so damned boring that attempting to make fun of it would bore even the most patient men to tears. It's worse than Fort Condor, Cosmic Canyon, Nibelhem and Rocket Town combined. The devs must have been on some heavy stuff when they designed that boring area.
     
    ^ Top  
  9. Radisshu Prophet

    Radisshu
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2007
    Messages:
    5,623
    dont listan 2 him

    moar gungaga
     
    ^ Top  
  10. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    No, we're not done with Gongaga yet.
     
    ^ Top  
  11. Dire Roach Prophet

    Dire Roach
    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2007
    Messages:
    1,592
    Location:
    Machete-Knight Academy
    How about that snowy mountain peak where there's a random encounter every five or so steps and you have to mash a button to keep your body temperature up?
     
    ^ Top  
  12. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Your thread was just one big Carth Onasi.
     
    ^ Top  
  13. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Previously! On Let's Play Final Fantasy VII!

    [​IMG] There might be a spy among us!
    [​IMG] Really? Any idea who it might be?
    [​IMG] No, I trust everyone.
    [​IMG] Okay!


    Now! On Let's Play Final Fantasy VII!

    [​IMG] Now where do we go?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Let's head up to the ruins!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Ooooh...
    [​IMG] I have a bad feeling about this.
    [​IMG] Bitch, get yo' whore ass to the clinic then!
    [​IMG] A bad feeling isn't... ah whatever. You need to stop hanging with Barret, Tifa. He's a baaaa-
    [​IMG] Hey, shut your mouth!
    [​IMG] Hey, I'm just talking about Ba.. ah, fuck it fuck it fuck it, let's head up to the ruins! It looks like a ruined reactor!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Definitely! This is a ruined reactor!
    [​IMG] Cloud, have you been playing Legend of Zelda again?
    [​IMG] Absolutely not! Now come on, let's investigate the reactor!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Oh shit! It's the bad guys! Run, Tifa! Run, Cloud!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Hide before they fucking SEE YOU!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] ..we be running, we be hiding...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Just another yellow cactus, ma'am!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Boy, do I feel like a cactus!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Even a cactus can see this reactor is ruined!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] BIG LARGE HUGE MATERIA?!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] I bet it's really easy to spot BIG LARGE HUGE MATERIA!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Oh shit, looks like we got another objective!
    [​IMG] We did?
    [​IMG] We can't let them have the BIG LARGE HUGE MATERIA!
    [​IMG] Why not?
    [​IMG] Because they'll use the...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] ...to make THE ULTIMATE WEAPON!!
    [​IMG] :|
    [​IMG] :D
    [​IMG] :|
    [​IMG] :?
    [​IMG] :D
    [​IMG] ...No they're not. Everyone knows the Weapons were manufactured by dwarves deep within the planet!
    [​IMG] BIG FLOPPY DONKEY DICK!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Fly, helichopter! Fly!
    [​IMG] You don't have magical powers, Cloud.
    [​IMG] Oh yeah? Then why is that heliosomobile... FLYING AWAY?!!
    [​IMG] This is madness!
    [​IMG] This is Gongaaaaaaaaaagaaaaaaaa!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Ah, fucking finally I can grab this shit materia.
    [​IMG] Alright, now where do we go?
    [​IMG] We have to go after the Shinra and stop them from getting the HUGE BIG LARGE MATERIA! Move your asses like you haven't moved your asses before, ladies!
    [​IMG] ..Why?
    [​IMG] Because they're gonna fuck shit up otherwise! Or something. I dunno. Does it matter?! It's the Shinra! I mean, come on! They can destroy the world simply by ordering more paperclips!
    [​IMG] Uh yeah, we'll just add it to the list then. I'm sure we'll run into it sooner or later.
    [​IMG] *sigh* Where to now, gang?
    [​IMG] Let's head into town!
    [​IMG] Why?
    [​IMG] Let's head into town!
    [​IMG] 'K...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Awesome! Deathblow materia!
    [​IMG] Moving on!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Cloud, are you brain-damaged?
    [​IMG] Oh, if only you knew, Tifa!
    [​IMG] Oh, I do, Cloud! Anyway, what's there to do in this town?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] We can listen to stories!
    [​IMG] Oh shit.
    [​IMG] Let's speed right through it.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] And that's all he says.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Do you have a story for me?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Uh huh...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Really?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Awww, poor baby...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] And I guess everyone is too fucking lazy to clean it up? Fuck you, old man. Fuck you. Fuck this town. You're a bunch of failures. The next house we visit better have plot! And it better be GOOD PLOT!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Oh fuck!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Missing a comma there, dude. Anyway, what's your son's name?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] DUN DUN DUH DUHHHHHH!!!!
    [​IMG] Thank you, Colin.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] He sounds a lot like me. But...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Huh? Aeris?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] What?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] The?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Wait for it...

    [​IMG] *sigh*

    [​IMG] FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?!!
    [​IMG] Smooth.
    [​IMG] Shut up, Colin.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Oh shit, I suppose we're gonna have to talk about this shitstain of a side plot now, huh?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Uh huh.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Hmm...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Yeah, I remember.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    FACT: I'M SO FUCKING CLOSE TO SPOIL IT ALL RIGHT HERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

    FACT: But that would be mean. :oops:

    FACT: Ok, I'll do it anyway. Zack is Cloud's twin brother.

    FACT: It's true, I tell you!

    [​IMG]

    FACT: EVERYTHING HAPPENS FIVE YEARS AGO!!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] What a douchebag.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Whatever.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Whatever! Stop talking already!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Oh fuck, not you too! What's your connection to this guy, bitch?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Oh really? Your wet panties tells me differently!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] But...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Yeah, it sure does.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Uh... *cough* Yeah...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Oh absolutely! Yes, I worked hard! Real hard!
    [​IMG] Yeah, you did.
    [​IMG] I did!
    [​IMG] ?
    [​IMG] Uh, the others are waiting in the buggy and getting impatient like hell.
    [​IMG] Any idea where we're headed?
    [​IMG] Nanaki says we're not far from his hometown. Figure we'll drive past it real fast and throw him out of the buggy.
    [​IMG] Sounds good to me. Hey, whore!
    [​IMG] Yes?
    [​IMG] You coming!
    [​IMG] I'm coming!
    [​IMG] WHORE!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] ..we be driving, we be rolling..

    [​IMG]

    To be continued!


    In the next update:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Oh man!
    [​IMG] And right next to the town too!
    [​IMG] Shit!
    [​IMG] YOU UNBELIEVABLE BASTARDS! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!
    [​IMG] Shut up, Nanaki.
    [​IMG] Have a potion! :D
    [​IMG] I'LL RIP YOUR GODDAMN THROAT OUT!

    Next on the plate: Cosmo Canyon!
     
    ^ Top  
  14. Radisshu Prophet

    Radisshu
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2007
    Messages:
    5,623
    CIS comic, hell yeah.


    Well this entire update was really good. Moar.
     
    ^ Top  
  15. Vaarna_Aarne Notorious Internet Vandal

    Vaarna_Aarne
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2008
    Messages:
    34,585
    Location:
    Cell S-004
    MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    MOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    ^ Top  
  16. ghostdog Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    ghostdog
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2007
    Messages:
    10,789
    Hey wait , that unearthly GLARE in your eye ....
    ...could it be you're looking for....

    BIG LARGE ENORMOUSLY GIGANTIC HUGE HEAVY LONG DANGLING "materia" ??
     
    ^ Top  
  17. Gragt Arcane Patron

    Gragt
    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2007
    Messages:
    1,864,860
    Location:
    Dans Ton Cul
    Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin
    Ok, I'm downloading that fucking game now, something tells me I'm gonna regret it.
     
    ^ Top  
  18. MetalCraze Arcane

    MetalCraze
    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Messages:
    21,104
    Location:
    Urkanistan
    This LP is so good I wanna make a guest appearance in it <3
     
    ^ Top  
  19. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Maybe I should make the next update into A VIDEO UPDATE! It'll be awesome! Me, the incredible Andyman Messiah, playing the game with the incredibilicious skyway screaming at me over skype! Yeah!! Let's do it! Let's do it!!

    No. :wink:

    What kind of guest appearance do you have in mind, skyway? Maybe I can hit you up with something. I need pretty much all I can get to make Cosmo Canyon good. (Hence David Caruso's sudden appearance...)
     
    ^ Top  
  20. Gragt Arcane Patron

    Gragt
    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2007
    Messages:
    1,864,860
    Location:
    Dans Ton Cul
    Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin
    I wanted to add that though I'm getting the game now and plan to play it later I'm not a fag.
     
    ^ Top  
  21. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Well, you shouldn't have said anything. Now we're suspicious.
     
    ^ Top  
  22. Gragt Arcane Patron

    Gragt
    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2007
    Messages:
    1,864,860
    Location:
    Dans Ton Cul
    Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin
    Hey I said I'm not a fag! Are you a fag?
     
    ^ Top  
  23. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Nah, my lady would kill me if I brought home a cute boy and said I loved him. Even worse, maybe she'd convert him and leave me for him! Oh man. Damn faggots stealing our women!
     
    ^ Top  
  24. Gragt Arcane Patron

    Gragt
    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2007
    Messages:
    1,864,860
    Location:
    Dans Ton Cul
    Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin
    All because of Final Fantasy VII...
     
    ^ Top  

As an Amazon Associate, rpgcodex.net earns from qualifying purchases.