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Let Me Trainwreck Final Fantasy VII For You! (Completed!)

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Andyman Messiah, Feb 11, 2008.

  1. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Before we go to Cosmo Canyon to light our enments, I think we should take a moment to clarify something that I think should be CLARIFIED!

    [​IMG]

    Gob and his hair lives on FOREVAH! to illustrate exactly how you manage to think back on past events. (Btw, if there's a Warhammer campaign in the works, Gob would very much like to participate the shit out of it and drink fruity umbrella drinks in it.)

    Anyway, let's run the usual let's fucking do this intro and get the party started. Let's do it!

    Welcome to the continuation/bananaramafication of Chapter 32 - It's like I'm not even trying! My name is not Reed Rundgreen and this is not Let's play Mario Paint! This is motherfucking Let's play Final Fantasy VII and I am motherfucking Morgan Freeman! Let's fucking do this! Let's fucking play Final Fantasy VII! Oh yeah!

    In this particular update we investigate exactly what happened on the Gold Saucer when the girl we all thought was the actual Bubbles but later was revealed to be an impostor got shot in the head by Dio and Flappyjack simply vanished!

    There's a huge black hole in the time weave!

    Because, see, we somehow managed to go from

    [​IMG]

    to this!

    [​IMG]

    Do you see what's wrong? I somehow managed to ditch the Emerald party just shortly after getting them!

    Of course, I have my own theories as to how this could have happened...

    [​IMG]

    But what's most important is exactly what happened when...

    [​IMG] We decided to split up.
    [​IMG] Scooby-Doo style! :D

    What, really?

    [​IMG] Me and Aeris continued the plot while those other... uh, people went to play minigames.

    Really?

    [​IMG] Yes. Flappyjack went to the chocobo races.

    He did?

    [​IMG] Yes. Unfortunately he died off-camera when a screaming John McCain came out of nowhere with a calculator sticking out of his ass.
    [​IMG] The poor mudkip was trampled.
    [​IMG] It was like the wild west all over again!

    'Kay... What about Bubbles then?

    [​IMG] The fake, you mean!

    Yes... I suppose... I guess...

    [​IMG] Well, she went to the battle square!
    [​IMG] Haha, she sure did, Bubbles! She sure did!

    So what happened to her?

    [​IMG] I'm sure Cloud and Al Wright can answer that.
    [​IMG] [​IMG] Haha, we sure can, Bubbles! We sure can!

    Oh God.

    [​IMG] Yes indeed, Andyman! Yes indeed!
    [​IMG] Let's not wear that joke out, Al.
    [​IMG] Too late, Cloud! Too late!
    [​IMG] Anyway, as you probably know...

    Probably...

    [​IMG] Yeah... As you probably know, God joined Tifa at the arcade.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] And saved me from getting mouthraped!
    [​IMG] *cough!*

    Riiiiiiiiiight...

    [​IMG] Yes, and then Yuffie was revealed to be Bubbles!

    How does that even make sense?

    [​IMG] Maybe we'll find out if we play Final Fantasy VII?

    I doubt it. Hey, are you're certain that Yuffie is Bubbles?

    [​IMG] Absolutely, positively, mechagrandely! I knew, the moment I saw "Yuffie" here, that she was the Bubbles I once tutored in the ways of exploiting animals for money!

    And you're really, really certain about that?

    [​IMG] Absolutely.

    Yuffie, do you remember being a pokemon master? At all?

    [​IMG] No, but I'm used to it.

    Used to it?

    [​IMG] Elderly men always tell me who I am. I can be a school girl. I can be a ninja girl. I can be a girl who catches animals by throwing balls at them. I'm okay with it!
    [​IMG] Haha, you sure are, Bubbles! You sure are!

    Okay, whatever, what happened to the fake Bubbles?

    [​IMG] Well...

    [​IMG]

    What's that supposed to be?

    [​IMG] Secret code word killswitch activation thingie!

    Really?

    [​IMG] Oh yes. Look again.

    [​IMG]

    Wow, now that's sinister!

    [​IMG] Do you like it? 5000 hours in photoshop.

    Get out of here!

    [​IMG] It's true, I tell you!
    [​IMG] It really is!

    You don't even know what photoshop is!

    [​IMG] I do too! I eat it everyday!

    Right.

    [​IMG] So anyway, the moment when I said that particular sentence, Cloud, Aeris and that... marshmallow was running to the battle square.
    [​IMG] And we were commited for a crime we didn't even arrest!

    But the Bubbles-impostor was killed by Dio's guards.

    [​IMG] Of course she was. When I gave Dio the command, he answered and put the sweet impostor princess to sleep!

    [​IMG]

    Uh huh.

    [​IMG] Wow, it all makes sense!
    [​IMG] Now that's good writing!
    [​IMG] Hug!
    [​IMG] Aww!!
    [​IMG] Come here, you big blueberry pie you!

    Whatever, let's just get out of exposition land before David Caruso shows up.

    [​IMG] Oh I love that guy!
    [​IMG] Of course you do.
    [​IMG] What?
    [​IMG] Whore!
    [​IMG] :(


    And that's how that shit went down.

    Next: Fuck Cosmo Canyon!
     
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  2. Gragt Arcane Patron

    Gragt
    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2007
    Messages:
    1,864,860
    Location:
    Dans Ton Cul
    Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin
    I only played the start to see if it worked and I feel I already caught the gay.
     
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  3. Sovy Kurosei Erudite

    Sovy Kurosei
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,535
    Now we'll find out Nanaki's real name.
     
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  4. sportforredneck Cipher

    sportforredneck
    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2007
    Messages:
    7,715
    My Paul Simon reference remains intact. Oh yes.
     
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  5. FrancoTAU Cipher

    FrancoTAU
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2005
    Messages:
    2,507
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    It doesn't seem possible, but the plot gets worse in Cosmo Canyon. Can't wait.
     
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  6. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Haha, don't be so sure about that!

    You might not be able to wait, but I certainly can. I hate Cosmo Canyon.
     
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  7. Radisshu Prophet

    Radisshu
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2007
    Messages:
    5,623
    I used to really like Cosmo Canyon. But it's got the lamest "dungeon" ever, though dungeons in late (post FF7) FF games are mostly areas with enemies you have to run through.
     
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  8. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    I just wanted to let you guys know that I really fucking hate Cosmo Canyon, Nibelheim and the Nibelheim mountains. I really fucking do.
     
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  9. sportforredneck Cipher

    sportforredneck
    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2007
    Messages:
    7,715
    Do something about it LaCroix. Do something.
     
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  10. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Can I skip it and move on to Rocket Town?
     
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  11. sportforredneck Cipher

    sportforredneck
    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2007
    Messages:
    7,715
    No, you must suffer for being a prick in Bloodlines.
     
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  12. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Motherfucker! I'll use cereal on myself and MAKE myself skip it!

    Seriously, fuck this game. What the fuck did I think when I started this bullshit? This is never going to end! It's the thread that keeps going and going and going! Like a fucking duracell drummer bunny boy! Haha HA! DD BB !!

    *sigh*
     
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  13. sportforredneck Cipher

    sportforredneck
    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2007
    Messages:
    7,715
    You've gone over 30 pages man, you can't quit now.
     
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  14. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    9,933
    Location:
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    Just watch me!
     
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  15. sportforredneck Cipher

    sportforredneck
    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2007
    Messages:
    7,715
    You bastard, I must inspire you by continuing my shitty Let's Play of Spore!
     
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  16. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Please do! It will give me something to read while I'm busy not let's playing Final Fantasy 7!
     
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  17. Xor Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Xor
    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2008
    Messages:
    9,345
    Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Divinity: Original Sin Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Divinity: Original Sin 2
    Get Mareus to finish it.
     
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  18. Dire Roach Prophet

    Dire Roach
    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2007
    Messages:
    1,592
    Location:
    Machete-Knight Academy
    Do a video update. Or some sort of audiobook-style narration. Just do it!
     
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  19. ghostdog Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    ghostdog
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2007
    Messages:
    10,789
    Lithuanian Hitmen are waiting for confirmation.
    Target : Andyman Messiah AKA Locue
    Method of Killing : Swift Death

    [​IMG]
     
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  20. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    How dare you use my own meme against me, ghostdog?!

    I can't escape the wrath of lithuanian hitmen so I guess I have no choice. Call them back, you ghostly canine dude you. I'll get some update out, one way or another...
     
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  21. sportforredneck Cipher

    sportforredneck
    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2007
    Messages:
    7,715
    That means the next update is Andyman ejaculating on a picture of Cloud.
     
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  22. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Superdupermega-fixed, dude! :D
     
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  23. ghostdog Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    ghostdog
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2007
    Messages:
    10,789
    Sometimes a meme can come back to haunt you...
    Sometimes a meme can kill...

    Lithuanian Hitmen will fade back to the shadows ... for now.

    This LP can continue being awesome.
     
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  24. MaskedMan very cool Patron

    MaskedMan
    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2008
    Messages:
    1,864,623
    Stream the next update on justin.tv like all the cool leakers do! That way we can support you in the chat!
     
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  25. LarsTheSurly Scholar

    LarsTheSurly
    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2008
    Messages:
    137
    Location:
    Surrounded by idiots
    Thought you could let this slip through the cracks?

    Get back to work. I expect to see a half-assed Cosmo Canyon update on here within the hour.
     
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