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Let Me Trainwreck Final Fantasy VII For You! (Completed!)

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Andyman Messiah, Feb 11, 2008.

  1. Sckarecrow92 Educated

    Sckarecrow92
    Joined:
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    Messages:
    286
    Nuhh uhh
     
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  2. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Everytime I update it's like someone's nailing me to a cross. With a Quake-styled, Trent Reznor-engineered Nail Gun.

    After FF7 I'm thinking about doing Baldur's Gate.
     
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  3. Monocause Arcane

    Monocause
    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2008
    Messages:
    3,637
    http://ninjenga.ytmnd.com/
    http://reznorsaw.ytmnd.com/

    Go for BG, I played it too much back in the day and now I can't even think of an another playthrough, but watching a LP will be fun. Go with BGTuTu.
     
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  4. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    2012: Final Fantasy 7 LP finished! Baldur's Gate LP begins!
     
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  5. Monocause Arcane

    Monocause
    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2008
    Messages:
    3,637
    BTW, how's your Witcher review cooking?

    Case someone wanders in: Andyman is up to his ears in SERIOUSLY REVIEWING The Witcher right now, and now he needs your help! Both his reviews so far have lacked in the department of "certain issues". For example he didn't bring up the lackluster AI in Mass Effect (not that there was anything to talk about, but still...). So, people: Stuff in TW:EE you want him to go angry cunt mode on. Let's hear it.
     
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  6. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    2013: Baldur's Gate LP abandoned! The Witcher review continued!

    It's coming along just fine. Should be done soon, actually.
     
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  7. Wyrmlord Arcane

    Wyrmlord
    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2008
    Messages:
    28,886
    What the fuck is this shit?

    Snowboarding minigame?

    The Japanese are worthless.
     
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  8. Sckarecrow92 Educated

    Sckarecrow92
    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2009
    Messages:
    286
    Nuhh UHH
     
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  9. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
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    I'm not looking forward to the submarine minigame.
     
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  10. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Narnia
    Hi, guys and vagina-guys! Update time.

    Now, about this cliff climbing stuff. I thought about doing a video of it so you could hear how awesome it is to mash buttons but then I thought "no, that would be dumb" so I decided that the best intercourse of action would be to just draw a picture while our heroes, off screen, packed their asses in my convenient let's skip the whole fucking thing-elevator! Let's go!

    [​IMG]

    And there we go. Picture has been drawn and our hapless trapless capless hackysackless heroes are up!

    [​IMG] Wow! That was cheesy! Even for this LP...
    [​IMG] Cheesy like a frenchman in february!
    [​IMG] You two be quiet! Be thankful that this nice man...horse.. let us ride in his elevator while he drew a pretty picture!
    [​IMG] It's not even a picture! It's just a white... square!
    [​IMG] It symbolizes the nothingness he feels whenever he see a minigame.
    [​IMG] Right. Where are we now?
    [​IMG] We're in a cave, stupid.
    [​IMG] Alright, how do we get through the cave?
    [​IMG] We just run on the ground until we get to the exit.

    Yes, or we can just get inside my huge fucking drill and ACTUALLY GO THROUGH the fucking place!

    [​IMG] Yes, or we can just do that!
    [​IMG] Man, talk about cheap!
    [​IMG] No, Cloud. Talk about horse!
    [​IMG] Whatever. "#¤%&!! More climbing!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] What does this picture symbolize, Tifa?
    [​IMG] It symbolize how he saw red when he realized he wasn't done with the stupid button mashing cliff climbing the first time he played this game.
    [​IMG] Of course...
    [​IMG] Just get on the fucking elevator, you "#¤%&!!
    [​IMG] Alright.

    MOMENT LATERS!!

    [​IMG] Where are now?
    [​IMG] Cave.
    [​IMG] Cave?
    [​IMG] Cave.
    [​IMG] Alright.
    [​IMG] Get in the fucking drill, you "#¤%&!!!

    LATER MOMENTS!!

    [​IMG] Where are we now?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Let me guess, even more hot climbing action?
    [​IMG] Yes. This picture symbolizes the color of Andyman's diarrhea after he was done with this portion of the game.
    [​IMG] Butthurt detected.
    [​IMG] Oh, quite so, Cloud! Quite so...
    [​IMG] GET TO THE ELEVATOR, YOU "#¤%&!!!!!!

    LAMENTS MATER!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Where are we n.. Oh hey, actual screenshot! I like.
    [​IMG] Yeah, I bet you do, you "#¤%&! faggot.
    [​IMG] Well, let's just save our game and head to the right and--OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] IT'S A DRAGON!!
    [​IMG] Haven't we killed like five hundred dragons so far?
    [​IMG] Yeah, but this dragon has two heads! That's like TWO DRAGONS!
    [​IMG] So what, you got two cocks or something?
    [​IMG] I wish.
    [​IMG] I'm too old for this shit.

    EVEN MORE MOMENTS LATER OUR HEROES FIND THEMSELVES AT THE VERY LAST CLIFF CLIMBING MINIGAME!!!!!!!!!!!

    [​IMG] And there's no temperature timer thing!
    [​IMG] Great.
    [​IMG] Well, let's just go up and--OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] It's a crater... with a "#¤%&!! whirlwind locked inside it... or something...
    [​IMG] Yeah...
    [​IMG] THAT WHIRLWIND IS RAPING THAT CRATER!!!
    [​IMG] What?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] WE HAVE TO RESCUE IT!!! NO RAPE ON MY WATCH!!
    [​IMG] Wait, Cloud. I'm sure it's just the planet trying to heal itself or something.
    [​IMG] ..really?
    [​IMG] Yeah, remember. Something fell from the sky and made this huge hole and now the planet's trying to heal itself.
    [​IMG] So that big whirl's like a bandage or something?
    [​IMG] Or something.
    [​IMG] Hmm... What do you think, Cid?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Yeah, exactly what I said.
    [​IMG] I bet this is the power Sephiroth is trying to use to call Meteor!
    [​IMG] Yeah, it's never wrong to remind ourselves about that every now and then.
    [​IMG] Holy shit! I bet not even a rapewind can stop the unholy skullfucking of a huge rock from outer space!!
    [​IMG] No, I don't think so eith..
    [​IMG] WE HAVE TO HELP THE PLANET!! NO SKULLFUCKING ON MY WATCH!!
    [​IMG] Wait! Cloud!
    [​IMG] I can't hear you, Tifa! I'm already miles from you and Cid!
    [​IMG] That... stupid... fucking... AARHGHGHGH!!!!!!
    [​IMG] ...
    [​IMG] ...
    [​IMG] ...
    [​IMG] WHAT?!
    [​IMG] So uh... I hear you two used to fuck or something?
    [​IMG] :evil:
    [​IMG] Eeep...

    LATER! ON THE GROUND!

    [​IMG] Thanks for waiting, Cloud. :roll:
    [​IMG] WE HAVE TO HURRY!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] YES! BUT WE HAVE TO HURRY!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] YES! BUT WE HAVE TO HURRY!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] YES! BUT WE HAVE TO.. oh, well let's go then!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] HOLY SHIT THAT GUY JUST COMMITED SUICIDE!!
    [​IMG] Lucky him..

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] HOLY SHIT WE JUST GOT NEO BAHAMUT SUMMON MATERIA!!
    [​IMG] Lucky us..

    [​IMG]

    SUDDENLY THE SHINRA AIRSHIP OF TERROR, DOOM, PESTILENCE, DEATH, DESTRUCTION, GREED, POWER AND OCCASIONAL CHICKEN FUCKING APPEARED!!

    [​IMG] HOLY SHIT THAT'S THE SHINRA AIRSHIP OF TERROR, DOOM, PESTILENCE, DEATH, DESTRUCTION, GREED, POWER AND OCCASIONAL CHICKEN FUCKING!! IT APPEARED SUDDENLY!!
    [​IMG] Holy jumping bible buffet, son! Where?! I can't see it!
    [​IMG] Of course you can't see it. It's too big to be seen!
    [​IMG] But that doesn't make sense!
    [​IMG] Yeah, well YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE!

    SUDDENLY MEANWHILE ON THE AIRSHIP!

    SINISTER LAUGHS!!
    [​IMG]

    EVEN MORE SINISTER LAUGHS!!
    [​IMG]

    EVEN EVEN MORE SINISTER LAUGHS!!
    [​IMG]

    EVEN EVEN MORE MORE SINISTER LAUGHS!!
    [​IMG]

    NOTHING CAN STOP THE SINISTER LAUGH PARADE!!
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Why do I hear giggling?
    [​IMG] No goddamn idea...
    [​IMG] Maybe they're fucking each other in the ass but they're extremely ticklish in the butt so they're giggling?
    [​IMG] Yeah, or maybe they're just retar..
    [​IMG] Good point, Tifa! Well, let's move on.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Can't we just go home?
    [​IMG] Not when we're this close to the end, you dumbfucked thumbduck! Look!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Sephiroth!
    [​IMG] What? Only one exclamation mark? Man, that really hurts, Cloud.
    [​IMG] Sorry, let me try again. Ahem... A-one, a-two, a-one-two-three-four...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Much better!
    [​IMG] This is the end, Sephiroth!!!
    [​IMG] Yes. You're right. This is the end of this body's usefulness!!
    [​IMG] What?!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] It's a trick! He's gotta be around here somewhere.
    [​IMG] Of course I am, you unwashed ass cleavage! Now listen to me speak spooky stuff to Cloud!
    [​IMG] Cool!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] I don't think I like where this is going...
    [​IMG] Neither am I. Everytime C-Loud and Sephie talk spooky shit with each other it always ends with some bad shit coming down our ears.
    [​IMG] You're overreacting, Tifa. Nothing bad's going to come down our... hey, what's this shadow all of a sudd--OHHOLYSHIT!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Cloud?
    [​IMG] Yeah?
    [​IMG] I'm gonna kill you.
    [​IMG] Can it wait til after the boss fight?
    [​IMG] Yeah.
    [​IMG] Cool.
    [​IMG] "#¤%&!!!

    [​IMG]

    BOSS FIGHT ACTIVATE!!

    Behold a new color of the same old Jenova monster we have fought and defeated at least three times now!

    [​IMG]

    Well, let's see if it stays down this time.

    AFTER THE MOST THRILLING, MOST EXCITING, REPEAT-BOSSFIGHT EVER!!! Our heroes find themselves completely collected, staring at the awesome awesomeness of...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Huh.. So that's what it's about... The Jenova Reunion.
    [​IMG] Not Sephiroth?! You mean all this time it wasn't Sephiroth we've been after?
    [​IMG] I didn't say it wasn't Sephiroth. You're really good at guessing. Anyway, I'll explain later. Right now the only thing I'm thinking about is defeating Sephiroth!!
    [​IMG] But Sephiroth is...
    [​IMG] He's here. The real Sephiroth is just beyond here. It's both incredibly wicked and cruel... but it's releasing a powerfully strong will from deep within this planet's wound.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] For now at least.
    [​IMG] Hey!
    [​IMG] We better not take it with us when we go to defeat Sephiroth, Cloud.
    [​IMG] Yes, nevermind that he got a really nasty habit of getting possessed by evil forces and handing over vital items to our enemies.
    [​IMG] Oh right, well, let's not just hide it under a rock or something then. Let someone else take care of it for now.
    [​IMG] Good plan, Tifa! And that person will be...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] ...not Cid. Hey, Barret!
    [​IMG] Yeah?
    [​IMG] I choose you!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Sure is. Anything else you want to say?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Great. Well then, let's go meet Sephiroth.

    [​IMG]

    OUR HEROES BRAVELY CROSSED ANOTHER WINDY CROSSING AND SUDDENLY!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Nibelheim?! Why "#¤%&!! Nibelheim?
    [​IMG] You'd prefer Rocket Town?
    [​IMG] I'd prefer my own asshole! Least it'd make sense! Why are we in fuckin' Nibelheim all of a sudden? Where's that samurai douche faggot?
    [​IMG] This is just an illusion created by Sephiroth to confuse us. As long as we know it's an illusion we have nothing to be afraid of. I'm sure that as long as we close our eyes and pretend we're walking on a beach made out of olive branches, whatever that happen won't fuck with our heads or lead to a crisis of some sort where I have to rediscover myself and accept who I really am. I mean, that'd be silly!
    [​IMG] Um, well, you see... I kinda...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Oh shit.
    [​IMG] You say something, Tifa? I'm too busy closing my eyes, you know.
    [​IMG] I said "oh shit."
    [​IMG] Oh shit?
    [​IMG] Yeah...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Oh shit... :|


    TO BE CONTINUED.
     
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  11. Quilty Magister

    Quilty
    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2008
    Messages:
    2,388
    Your dedication and endurance are now officially the stuff of legends.
     
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  12. Demnogonis Saastuttaja Magister

    Demnogonis Saastuttaja
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2007
    Messages:
    4,338
    Location:
    Bureaukratistan
    By the dark gods. Even the Pokémon games have better writing.
     
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  13. Gragt Arcane Patron

    Gragt
    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2007
    Messages:
    1,864,860
    Location:
    Dans Ton Cul
    Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin
    Someone remind me why this game keep showing up on "best games evar!!!!" lists?
     
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  14. Fat Dragon Arbiter

    Fat Dragon
    Joined:
    May 24, 2007
    Messages:
    3,499
    Location:
    local brothel
    I lol'd at the last screenshotl. Poor bastards, their scalps must hurt like a motherfucker when trying to grow out that hair. Seriously, what makes anime artists think shit like that looks "cool"?
     
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  15. ghostdog Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    ghostdog
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  16. Sckarecrow92 Educated

    Sckarecrow92
    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2009
    Messages:
    286
    Andyman Messiah!

    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
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    9,933
    Location:
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    Cloud is ambitious and tough?!

    Wow. At least they're honest when it comes to Squall.
     
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  18. Sckarecrow92 Educated

    Sckarecrow92
    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2009
    Messages:
    286
    I've noticed that there's more charicterizashun in these signature thingies than in the actual games...

    Final Fantasy fans have real imagination, y'know. Literary geniuses, n' stuff. It's a shame all their creative influence is used to justify their worship of these horrible games.

    Edit: but they're nothing compared to Metal Gear Solid fans.
     
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  19. Vaarna_Aarne Notorious Internet Vandal

    Vaarna_Aarne
    Joined:
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    MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    The talking horse has Duke Nukem levels of stamina.
     
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  20. ghostdog Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    ghostdog
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2007
    Messages:
    10,789
    Didn't you just say, in another thread, that you keep returning to FF7? Time to return horse. :twisted:
     
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  21. MetalCraze Arcane

    MetalCraze
    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Messages:
    21,104
    Location:
    Urkanistan
    April 22

    "BTW, how's your Witcher review cooking?"
    "It's coming along just fine. Should be done soon, actually."

    Kyaa haa hah
     
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  22. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    9,933
    Location:
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    Merry christmas! :D

    I'm doing a Duke Nukem Forever routine at the moment.
     
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  23. Vaarna_Aarne Notorious Internet Vandal

    Vaarna_Aarne
    Joined:
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    Location:
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    MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
     
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  24. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
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    Man, I sure love me some Duke Nukem Never! :D
     
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  25. Vaarna_Aarne Notorious Internet Vandal

    Vaarna_Aarne
    Joined:
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    Location:
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    MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2

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