Let Me Trainwreck Final Fantasy VII For You! (Completed!)

[DriacKin]

......hehehe. You're so close to the ending. Just a few more boss fights. No more twists man. It's Fortress of Regrets time.

Isn't this only about halfway into the second disk (of 3 disks)?

 

[RK47]

Unless he's going after all the stupid side quest and breeding gold chocobos I'm quite confident he'll finish this game soon. There's just linear grinding and dungeon combat from here on out and optional content shit.

 

[Freelance Henchman]

At first glance this looked like a goatse image to me. Even that 'shooped tatoo looked fitting on the "buttcheek".

 

[DriacKin]

Unless he's going after all the stupid side quest and breeding gold chocobos I'm quite confident he'll finish this game soon. There's just linear grinding and dungeon combat from here on out and optional content shit.

I thought he originally said he was going to go for 100%.
Which includes all the weapons, chocobos, limit breaks, etc.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

FUN FACT: I actually painted over a goat.cx-style picture.

LP Status: Yes, I am almost done with this shit, and I'm NOT going to breed any chocobos! I honestly don't want to. I want to finish this as soon as possible so I can go on with my life. I will do the remaining sidequests but that's it as far as optional goes.

 

[RK47]

FUN FACT: I actually painted over a goat.cx-style picture.

LP Status: Yes, I am almost done with this shit, and I'm NOT going to breed any chocobos! I honestly don't want to. I want to finish this as soon as possible so I can go on with my life. I will do the remaining sidequests but that's it as far as optional goes.

But but.. KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND BABY

 

[Andyman Messiah]

FUN FACT: I actually painted over a goat.cx-style picture.

LP Status: Yes, I am almost done with this shit, and I'm NOT going to breed any chocobos! I honestly don't want to. I want to finish this as soon as possible so I can go on with my life. I will do the remaining sidequests but that's it as far as optional goes.

But but.. KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND BABY

Fuck the Knights of the Round.

 

[Elzair]

Sidequests

Uhh.... Andy. What sidequests are you talking about? The only optional parts of the game, that I can remember, are these.


{OPT-1} Getting Yuffie
{OPT-2} Wutai (see Walkthrough)
{OPT-3} The Wutai Pagoda (see Walkthrough)
{OPT-4} Wutai Da-chao Fire Cave
{OPT-5} Getting Vincent/Shinra Mansion
{OPT-6} Ancient Forest
{OPT-7} Minor optional quests
{OPT-7.1} Lucretia's Cave
{OPT-7.2} The backroom
{OPT-7.3} Treasure at Rocket Town
{OPT-7.4} Chocobo Sage
{OPT-7.5} Cactus Island
{OPT-7.6} Villa Costa Del Sol
{OPT-7.7} The Sunken Gelnika (see Walkthrough)
{OPT-7.8} Revisiting Midgar Slums
{OPT-7.9} Cave with Sleeping Man
{OPT-7.10} The Weapon Seller
{OPT-7.11} The Turtle's Paradise Flyers
{OPT-7.12} Hidden Scene in Shinra Mansion
{OPT-7.13} Creating Master Materia from Huge Materia
{OPT-7.14} The Old beat-up key in Mideel
{OPT-7.15} The Kalm Traveller
{OPT-7.16} The 4 Secret Materia Caves

So which ones are you doing?

 

[RK47]

lol don't spoil it man, just wait for it.

 

[Demnogonis Saastuttaja]

Breeding chocobos is a completely non-optional part of the pain. Otherwise you can't really say you took it up the ass like a man.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Alright, let's see that fucking list...


{OPT-1} Getting Yuffie
Done.

{OPT-2} Wutai (see Walkthrough)
Done.

{OPT-3} The Wutai Pagoda (see Walkthrough)
Done.

{OPT-4} Wutai Da-chao Fire Cave
Completely worthless, useless, unessential. Fuck it.

{OPT-5} Getting Vincent/Shinra Mansion
Done.

{OPT-6} Ancient Forest
Done.

{OPT-7.1} Lucretia's Cave
Will do.

{OPT-7.2} The backroom
The backroom in....?? I dunno.

{OPT-7.3} Treasure at Rocket Town
Crap armor and a guard source if I remember correctly. Fuck it.

{OPT-7.4} Chocobo Sage
FUCK CHOCOBOS.

{OPT-7.5} Cactus Island
Moar like level up island am i rite? Fuck that.

{OPT-7.6} Villa Costa Del Sol
I bought it, then changed my mind and reloaded. It counts.

{OPT-7.7} The Sunken Gelnika (see Walkthrough)
Will do it since it's a Turks encounter.

{OPT-7.8} Revisiting Midgar Slums
Fuck that shit.

{OPT-7.9} Cave with Sleeping Man
Trivial statistic checker. Done.

{OPT-7.10} The Weapon Seller
Done.

{OPT-7.11} The Turtle's Paradise Flyers
Done.

{OPT-7.12} Hidden Scene in Shinra Mansion
Will do.

{OPT-7.13} Creating Master Materia from Huge Materia
Will do.

{OPT-7.14} The Old beat-up key in Mideel
I don't really need a curse ring.

{OPT-7.15} The Kalm Traveller
Hush!

{OPT-7.16} The 4 Secret Materia Caves
Fuck you.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

MOTHERFUCKER! I KNEW IT! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to die.

 

[Imbecile]

Wut

 

[Andyman Messiah]

I AM ABANDONING THE THREAD!! LOCK IT, CLOSE IT, RETARDO IT, DELETE IT!! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Nah.)

 

[Brother None]

Andyman's mental breakdown aside, could someone please explain to me what the hell just happened in the last chapter? Why is there a mecha-godzilla? Where did it go? What's with the train station?

Man, this plot is hard to understand, it must be genius.

 

[Gragt]

FFVII is post-modern.

 

[Radisshu]

Andyman's mental breakdown aside, could someone please explain to me what the hell just happened in the last chapter? Why is there a mecha-godzilla? Where did it go? What's with the train station?

Man, this plot is hard to understand, it must be genius.

All the "weapons" (mecha things) are triggered and leave the crater because the planet sensed that Cloud gave Sephiroth the Black Materia, and then Tifa has a flashback of how she met Cloud just before he joined avalanche at the start of the game.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

BLAH-BLAH-BLAH

Pretty much, yeah.

Mental breakdown aside, the game actually becomes fun for a while now. A *little* while but definitely a while.

edited lol

 

[RK47]

BLAH-BLAH-BLAH

Pretty much, yeah.

Mental breakdown aside, the game actually becomes fun for a while now. A *little* while but definitely a while.

edited lol

eat some apples. i heard it prevents dementia.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

BLAH-BLAH-BLAH

Pretty much, yeah.

Mental breakdown aside, the game actually becomes fun for a while now. A *little* while but definitely a while.

edited lol

eat some apples. i heard it prevents dementia.

I hear doctors are scared of apples. I need doctors to live. Do you want me dead, RK47? Are you and your murder android buddies plotting to take this LP over and extremitize it up Mass Effect-style?

 

[Comrade Hamster]

Holy shit, this thread is still going? Commendable, but I didn't think FFVII was worth playing for that long.

 

[MetalCraze]

The last 3 updates contain nothing but a one huge cutscene. This speaks much about this game.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Holy shit, this thread is still going? Commendable, but I didn't think FFVII was worth playing for that long.

It's not, which is exactly why it's taking so long.

 

[RK47]

BLAH-BLAH-BLAH

Pretty much, yeah.

Mental breakdown aside, the game actually becomes fun for a while now. A *little* while but definitely a while.

edited lol

eat some apples. i heard it prevents dementia.

I hear doctors are scared of apples. I need doctors to live. Do you want me dead, RK47? Are you and your murder android buddies plotting to take this LP over and extremitize it up Mass Effect-style?

No way man. I don't feel like grinding this shit JRPG. At least ME had no grind and painless combat. Good luck taking on the Weapons. Mwhahhahaha.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Last update.

Suddenly everything in Finalfantasysevenland was nuked and everyone died.

The end.