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Let Me Trainwreck Final Fantasy VII For You! (Completed!)

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Andyman Messiah, Feb 11, 2008.

  1. Gragt Arcane Patron

    Gragt
    Joined:
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    Location:
    Dans Ton Cul
    Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin
    WTF do you mean "abandonned"? I'm going to kill you!
     
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  2. Secretninja Cipher

    Secretninja
    Joined:
    May 30, 2009
    Messages:
    3,797
    Location:
    Orgrimmar
    You better start this shit back up.
    Only other option involves...
    Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean 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Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean Hatmen Lithewanean 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  3. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
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    9,933
    Location:
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    I've been so busy setting up a network of latvian assassins that I decided to fake-abandon the thread for a while. I'll pump out another shitty update soonish. Don't worry.
     
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  4. DriacKin Arbiter

    DriacKin
    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Andyman... why you keep changing your avatar?
    You were a horse...then you were a pirate...then you were a horse again...now you're a unicorn.

    What are you?
     
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  5. Jasede Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron Sad Loser

    Jasede
    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2005
    Messages:
    23,590
    Quick, somebody post Yuffie's Chocobo.

    Edit: I found it, the day is saved!

     
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  6. Fat Dragon Arbiter

    Fat Dragon
    Joined:
    May 24, 2007
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    Location:
    local brothel
    What the fuck?
     
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  7. KKKthulhu. Educated

    KKKthulhu.
    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2009
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    241
    Faith in humanity? Bah! What madness is that?
     
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  8. DriacKin Arbiter

    DriacKin
    Joined:
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    2,588
    Location:
    Inanescape
    :shock:

    Yiffster
    [​IMG]
     
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  9. RK47 collides like two planets pulled by gravity Patron

    RK47
    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2006
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    28,368
    Location:
    Not Here
    Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
    Oh man.
     
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  10. Vaarna_Aarne Notorious Internet Vandal

    Vaarna_Aarne
    Joined:
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    Location:
    Cell S-004
    MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    Hurrays!
     
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  11. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Narnia
    Actually, I was a surfer dude, then I turned into something else, then I turned into a horse, then I turned into LaCroix, then I turned back to a horse, then I turned into a manly man, then I turned back to a horse, then I turned into Guybrush Threepwood only to turn back into a horse. But now I'm a unicorn and loving every moment of it. Well, until I change again. Unicorns are a little bit too nazi <s>even</s> for me.
     
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  12. KKKthulhu. Educated

    KKKthulhu.
    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2009
    Messages:
    241
    Aeris - Daughter of Jenova?

    Aeris Gainsborough, or Aerith if you wish. One of the most controversial deaths in video game history, one of the more popular dead people of the Final Fantasy series, and considered by some to be either the most talented magician or the most annoying fighter. Her death has spawned a countless number of resurrection rumors, and some of the most infamous of game shark codes to aid in her 'revival.' Her impact on the gaming community and the Final Fantasy series, let alone Final Fantasy VII itself, is nearly immeasurable.

    Yes, the pureness of her heart and the tragedy of her passing have been recounted time and again in fan fiction and gaming debate alike. However, what if even she meant it to be? I'm not saying just meant to die for the planet. We all know she planned to die, it's fairly obvious. But what if she planned it for other motives? What if that pure heart and playful soul we've all come to love were something far less pure and noble, something far darker? Please hear me out on this.

    When we're first introduced to Aeris, she seems normal enough. A helpless flower girl trying to eek out a living by selling a product nobody seems to really want, and a price guaranteed to drive her bankrupt. She approaches Cloud, and lures him into conversation until he notices she has a basket of flowers. This is fairly normal, despite the bad business sense she's displayed. At this point, her innocence is suggested and planted in our minds. A seed to grow as the game progresses.

    Cut to the scene in the church. She's found Cloud, and is tending to a grouping of flowers. At first, nothing registers as suspicious. Then we realize that she has quickly passed over her concern for Cloud, and jumped right in to small talk. He just fell from the plate above and crashed through the roof, and she isn't even all that concerned, not even a panicked reaction. Just a simple "Oh, the flowers must have cushioned you. They're resilient," bit we're all familiar with. Very soon, Reno makes his entrance, and then the wall starts crumbling down.

    No sooner does he enter than she asks you to be her bodyguard. Fair and normal, save for the price. One date. A date, in exchange for a little work. Immediately, one can start to question her innocence and motive. More so once she reveals she's escaped the Turks before, that she's used to it. So what was different now? Why did she need Cloud's help? After all, she had, as her mother confirmed to us, been evading the TURKS with some skill her whole life in Midgar.

    Assume for a moment that everything you know about Aeris is completely false. Assume that maybe, just maybe, Sephiroth wasn't the only child born in a Jenova experiment. Sure, Aeris is half Cetra, her mother, Ifalna, was one. But while it is suggested that Gast learned of the truth behind Jenova, it is never stated (At least not conclusively) that he cared. Only that he ran from Shinra. Perhaps he ran not because he knew the truth, but because he had stolen Jenova's cells for his own purposes, and had seduced and ran off with their prized Cetra. Off to Icicle Inn, where he could use his time to study Jenova, and submit his unwitting mate and child to Jenova, perhaps even without their knowledge of it. Simply mixing trace amounts of Jenova's cells in with Ifalna's food would have sealed the deal.

    Jump back to the present, and we now have an Aeris who is half Cetra, half-human, and controlled by Jenova. As soon as Cloud was close enough to her, back after the first explosion perhaps, she would have known his connection to her. Even if Aeris herself didn't know, Jenova would've. At the very least, it would have awakened this darker side of her, and set a large portion of the story, as we know it, in motion. Jenova would not let Cloud just get away once she had an opportunity like the one with Reno, and so it would be nothing for her to offer a date to Cloud, anything to stay close to him.

    So why didn't Jenova just let her go with the Turks to the Shinra building? Simply put, it wasn't yet time for the reunion. Jenova didn't want to risk anything by letting the Shinra find out about her, or risk a reaction by being too close to her own body. It sounds silly at first, but it must be kept in mind that Jenova is capable of drawing those with her cells to herself. This would best explain Sephiroth's attempt at recovering Jenova's body when he did, while both Cloud and Aeris were behind bars. Aeris was the only one kept alone, so no one would think anything of it if she acted strangely. Cloud wouldn't have had any negative reactions, certainly not on the scale that Aeris would've, as he was infused with Jenova much later in life. Jenova hadn't quite grown in to him as she had with Aeris. Even still, Jenova’s presence at this stage of the game seems to mess with his head a lot (Aeris in the church, Jenova’s body in the Shinra building, etc).

    But she had formed some connection with him. She kept him alive after his fall, and had even offered him 'advice' on staying alive before that. It's possible that, after Sephiroth's attack on Shinra Headquarters, Jenova was largely behind Cloud's decision to follow after him. Even if not, Jenova and her need to manipulate Cloud would still be a major factor in Aeris following. She didn't even have the heart to suggest letting her mother know what was happening, or that she was leaving. She simply left, under the guise of learning more about the Cetra.

    Jenova, at this point, would have two major reasons to stick with the party. The first would be to weaken it, which Aeris arguably does. The second would be to stay close to Cloud, and tear his mind further and further apart. Since Jenova would be able to tell everything about Cloud from her cells in him (Let's face it, he's downright brainwashable because of it), she'd know of his fractured reality and tenuous grip on sanity. Does it make anymore sense now as to why she'd continue trying to be close to Cloud, a man she should know nothing about, despite being told Tifa is his girlfriend (Well, if you actually choose that option, as I tend to) back at her house?

    Cloud and Aeris both knew in Wall Market that Cloud could've burst into Don Corneo's place and saved Tifa, as well as cornered the Don and gotten the information needed. It wouldn't have been any trouble for someone with Cloud's power, but Jenova had her first opportunity to torment Cloud. He was clearly uncomfortable with the idea of cross-dressing, and was too easily persuaded that breaking in would be a bad idea. Going through all he did, especially with Mukki (Optional, again), would've definitely aided Jenova in the task of mental torture. Destroying Cloud's psyche would be a simple matter for her, and the easiest method of defeating her enemy from within.

    Her meddling could also serve to drive a wedge between Cloud and Tifa, who, despite seeming the contrary early on, do reveal eventually to have cared for one another for some time. In forcing Cloud from Tifa, Aeris could also serve to harm Tifa emotionally, all while the martial artist, under the assumption that Aeris is good and noble, puts up a brave face and pretends not to care so much. Aeris now has two of AVALANCHE's most prominent members under her thumb.

    How about something even more innocent and unassuming? When the party leaves Cloud alone to face Rufus, Aeris just suddenly decides she has something she needs to tell Cloud. What she needed to tell him, we'll never know. If she had gone back up, she would have only served to distract Cloud and possibly have him killed by Rufus. Tifa, however, stops Aeris and tells her to go on. Aeris winds up going, and whatever she had to tell Cloud, that was just so important, remains unsaid for the rest of the game. After witnessing everything transpiring between them for the whole game, it's unlikely anything yet needed saying that she couldn't have said earlier or later.

    Let's move on to Junon. By now, anyone paying attention with the above in mind can see that something is up with our flower girl. As soon as you reach the ship and speak to her, she'll ask Cloud to take her on the Highwind someday. Odds are, if you're a nice and friendly person, you selected to take her on it. This will come back to haunt Cloud later in the game when he remembers the promise. It could be seen as an early drive at his sanity that ultimately dug deeper after her death later in the game.

    What about the Temple of the Ancients scenario? You go in, there is Tseng. Tseng is hurt. Aeris, amazingly, is a healer with the only truly useful healing limits in the game. She is upset at Tseng's misfortune so she...does nothing, and you move on. Sure, he winds up living, but she likely didn't know this. So she just left him for dead.

    Then the Ancients themselves...a lost race of people, now mere spirits, who have supposedly lost the ability to speak with the passing of time. So Aeris claims. Could it be that they were simply talking in an ancient language, and that she, overwhelmed by Jenova and unable to understand, simply failed to translate? She does have Cetra blood in her, but it's not overwhelmingly strong. Jenova would have had to use some excuse for failing to communicate. We do know that Ancients can talk after time has passed. Look at the Chocobo Sage, who can speak fluently in the world's current language, despite not remembering for the life of him.

    I'll grant that it's debatable that the Chocobo Sage is an ancient, but he sure looks the part. He also comes off as being about as flaky as the spirits in the Temple of the Ancients. This is one area that, in hindsight and a push from a certain someone, needed addressing. If it's ever really revealed that the Chocobo Sage isn't a Cetra, then I just lost one paragraph from this article (Or two, if you count this one).

    Then the infamous scenes that preclude the end. Sephiroth takes control of Cloud outside the hole where the temple once was, and uses him to launch an assault on Aeris. But did he? Or did Aeris do it herself? An act that would certainly have thrown off any and all possible suspicion from her teammates, and set their hearts hard and cold against Sephiroth alone. Of course, Sephiroth would've been in on it. The Jenova between the two would've made contact already. The next thing we see is the dream sequence, where Aeris clues Cloud in on her whereabouts, and Sephiroth clues him in on her impending doom.

    Wait, Sephiroth? Yes, he was in Cloud's dream, which is really, really odd. If you recall meeting Sephiroth later in the Northern Crater, he has no knowledge of Cloud whatsoever, he doesn't even seem to recognize him in the least. The only logical conclusion is that Aeris, Jenova, planted the whole dream in Cloud's head. She had her whole death planned, and she wanted Cloud to witness it. The final, and hardest, blow she could possibly deliver both to Cloud, and to the rest of the team. This noble, pure, innocent girl gave her life for them, now they must fight back through tears and trials while suffering her loss.

    Of course, none of them notice that there is no blood on Sephiroth's sword. Some say this was for ratings, but I say not. Blood is clearly visible on the defeated Sephiroth at the end, as well as smeared all over the Shinra Building after breaking out of jail. This is not an issue. Nor is it the sword's natural tendency to avoid blood. Pay attention in Advent Children when Sephiroth stabs Cloud. Cloud pulls the sword out and, lo and behold, there's blood on the end. This all suggests that Aeris ultimately lost any humanity she had during the trip, becoming consumed entirely by Jenova after it was awakened in her by Cloud, and so she is unlikely to have any human blood left to shed. It would be a small, small sacrifice to give up one body in order to torment the team, and move one step closer to her reunion.

    Of course, someone is bound to ask about the white materia, and holy, and all that. Who, if not Aeris, could've possibly activated it? Bugenhagen and the image at the Ancient Capital suggest that it was, indeed, activated. But we only know vague hints about how Holy was used before. The glowing green materia could've simply been an act of light shining on the white surface through the water, with the slight coloration of the water giving it the glow.

    If Holy were truly activated, what took it so long to spring in to action after Sephiroth was defeated and it's bonds removed? Why did it only serve to urge Meteor onward when it should've been helping the planet? This itself was not Holy, and was likely called on itself by the party in their desperate hour of need. Without the full activated power of the white materia and the planet, it would be weak. Then the Life Stream, the planet's own force, interfered to save the day.

    It's also possible this white force was the released spirits of Sephiroth and/or Jenova/Aeris, taking their chance to destroy the planet while letting everyone else think it was Holy. The Life Stream put a stop to it either way, and the rest is history. This would be a perfect way to explain how Jenova entered the life stream and corrupted the lives of so many with the geostigma. With the Lifestream floating over the land and cities, she could've dispersed and simply drifted down into unassuming lives.

    Of course, now we're getting in to Advent Children, which is ripe with reasons itself for her being anything but an Ancient or Human. But this is getting lengthy, so I'll try and keep it brief. Anyone reading thus far would be able to take notice of most things anyways.

    First is Aeris' vision to Cloud. Her timing is the first thing noticeably odd. She appears just when Cloud doesn't need her to, right before he would be fighting Kadaj and the others. While he is on a motorcycle zooming through a forest, no less. She has him distracted, while the others, listening to their mother, take aim and fire. Cloud barely registers this in time to avoid being targeted. Why does it seem Aeris always has something to say to Cloud at times when it would get him killed? This seems to be a pattern with her.

    Second, the identity of 'Mother.' We know from the very start that Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo are searching for their mother, and we get a very strong hint that the identity is Jenova, even before being told explicitly so. As they can hear her in their heads, even if they can't find her, it can safely be deduced that they know what her voice would sound like. So how on Earth could Kadaj have mistaken Aeris for Jenova at the end? She speaks to him as a mother would, telling him to rest, and he calls out to her himself, taking her hand and vanishing. Can it be a mere coincidence that, after everything is said and done, Jenova sounds identical to Aeris? We know it's Aeris talking because soon after Cloud calls her mother as well, and she admonishes him for it.

    So why help Cloud at all in Advent Children? Simplest reasoning is...she didn't. Her healing waters seemed to injure Kadaj slightly, but only forced him away, and she removed Cloud's geostigma. How does this help Jenova and Sephiroth? Without the geostigma, Cloud would be able to best Kadaj in combat (He was outmatched himself before this), and thus force Kadaj to consume Jenova's cells, completing the revival of Sephiroth.

    Of course, she plays her part in Sephiroth's defeat as well. The re-awakened memories of Aeris and Zack, and that Sephiroth might do the same to more people, drives Cloud to victory. Sephiroth seems to be able to still speak and even fly after the Omnislash, but for some reason gives up. Why? Jenova figured out her mistake too late. She needed to retreat for now, hide in the Lifestream until her cells could take root once again. Sure, Sephiroth might have bested Cloud had the fight continued, but Cloud had clearly taken the advantage for himself. It was no longer a sure bet on victory.

    Something must also be said for the healing rain that pours over Midgar, washing away the geostigma of the infected there. Why would Jenova just give in and dissolve herself so readily? It just goes back to the old adage: He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day. If this is all taken into consideration, then it seems probably the most likely thing to do. Her cells are washed from the bodies of the infected. So where do they go? They could be anywhere, really. Floating freely in the air to take on another form one day. Perhaps even washed back into the Lifestream itself to corrupt a new generation when she figures Cloud and the party are well past their prime. Just a couple of theories that aren't completely crazy.

    A further mystery is why both Zack and Aeris are separate from the Lifestream. Both had returned to it some time ago, and had no reason to still be kicking around. The answer is simple: Jenova. For Zack, this is easily explained. He was in SOLDIER, so he would have been infused with Jenova cells. Therefore, he might well be rejected by the Lifestream. So what about Aeris? Not so simple if she was an innocent little Cetra.

    These are the biggest reasons why I feel Aeris was never on the side of the planet, and in fact against it entirely. Everything she says and does works out to the benefit of Sephiroth in the end, save for accidentally triggering Cloud's emotions. Of course, it's well known that every villain, or villainess, slips up somewhere. Aeris underestimated Cloud's resolve at the very last, and saw her cohort, Sephiroth, defeated.

    I hope this has been a worthwhile read to at least someone. I can't cite specific sources because everything is directly in-game or in-movie, and so I can't just offer a link to it. But I've put a lot of thought and effort into this, and I believe everything fits together somewhat coherently. Thank you for reading, and make sure to watch any innocent flower girls you see with a cautious eye from now on.
     
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  13. nasi Novice

    nasi
    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2009
    Messages:
    61
    AAAAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA... *breathe* HAAAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHA

    You one crazy sumbitch, andy, my man. :D
     
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  14. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
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    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Right.
     
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  15. covr Prophet Patron

    covr
    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2006
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    1,134
    Location:
    Warszawa
    So...why do you lie?
     
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  16. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
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    Jan 27, 2004
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    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Who's standing?

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
     
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  17. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    Sigh.


    PREVIOUSLY, on Final Fantasy 7:

    [​IMG]


    NOW, on Final Fantasy 7:

    [​IMG]

    Join Barret Wallace as he is forced to walk, completely unescorted, to his own execution.

    [​IMG]

    Barret Wallace hesitate to walk through the door. He turns around and faces the guards. "Yo!" he says, "shouldn't you muthafuckas come with me an' prod my ass or sumthin'?" There is no reply from the guards, as they just so happen to be made out of cardboard. "Muthafucka shit" says Barret.

    [​IMG]

    Barret attempts to call out to the guard that is escorting Tifa. He asks why he's not getting escorted. "I don't escort black people", the guard answers. "Muthafucka racist" Barret mutters and continues on the path to execution all by himself.

    [​IMG]

    But not before saving his game at the nearby save point. "Muthafucka convenient" says Barret and gives the security camera a big black thumbs up. The security officer currently on duty promptly shits his pants for no real reason.

    [​IMG]

    Barret stops for a moment to admire the artwork. The huge CANNON poster in particular catches his eye.

    [​IMG]

    "Where am I?" Barret wonders. "I should ask a guard."

    [​IMG]

    "Well, thanks anyway!" "For what" asks the guard? "For taking these cuffs off." "Oh right, let's put them on again."

    [​IMG]

    "Muthafucka!"

    Oh well, at least we've reached our destination.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    RETARDED QUESTION: Oh my godness, can that Cait Sith-shaped gentlemen possibly be Cait Sith in a clever "gentleman"-disguise?

    [​IMG] Well, as we all know... the best way to win the public over is to grab some weird looking people nobody knows anything about and just execute the fuck out of them on national television.
    [​IMG] Oh right, yes, yes, absolutely. I see nothing wrong with that absolutely retarded plan. Carry on.
    [​IMG] Thank you.

    [​IMG]

    I like how the camera man immediately walks over and starts filming Scarlet when she's doing another evil laugh. Truly, only an idiot would believe that the Shinra are the bad guys in this well-documented drama.

    [​IMG]

    ...this is supposed to be a live broadcast, isn't it? I hope they have time do some heavy editing.

    Oh well, whatever. Scarlet next decides that they'll start with Tifa and this makes Barret so upset he starts to dance in front of the camera man! From the left foot to the right foot, this truly is all the proof you need of this dastardly duo's horrenduous crimes to all of humanity.

    KYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    How dare you show me attitude when I'm about to execute you?

    Also the guard "accidently" drops the key right in front of Tifa. Talk about lucky. Cait Sith has deceived his way into the media and someone else has put on a Shinra uniform. I wonder where the others are. I do not at all wonder why Shinra only managed to capture Tifa and Barret. That doesn't surprise me at all.

    FACT: Barret and Tifa are fucking stupid.

    Now let's see what Barret is up to. That stupid nig-WHAT?!

    [​IMG]

    Emergency? Oh man...

    [​IMG]

    OH NO IT'S WEAPON!

    Oh, this guy!

    [​IMG]

    This guy!

    [​IMG]

    THIS GUY!

    [​IMG]

    I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY!

    [​IMG]

    BEST CHARACTER EVER!

    [​IMG]

    I'm so not joking.

    [​IMG]

    He even clips through the fucking door! How awesome is that? Hint: it's VERY awesome. Oh man, that guy... Oh well, let's press the action button so everyone else's animations can trigger as well.

    [​IMG]

    They also clip through the door.

    Fucking posers.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    And so, after an easy fight (where Deceive and a completely hands-free Barret kicks ass)...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Muthafucka help! Ain't you part of Shinra?
    [​IMG] Well, I reckon it was time to deceive them again! Come on, let's get Tifa out of there. I'll go guard the entrance.
    [​IMG] Muthafucka entrance!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    WILL BARRET GET IT OPEN? WILL TIFA INHALE? WILL DECEIVE PROTECT THE REAR? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT UPDATE OF LET'S PLAY THE MOST BELOVED GAME OF ALL TIME!
     
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  18. Vaarna_Aarne Notorious Internet Vandal

    Vaarna_Aarne
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2008
    Messages:
    34,585
    Location:
    Cell S-004
    MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
  19. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Messages:
    9,933
    Location:
    Narnia
    So how about that Marvelman, huh?
     
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  20. Brother None inXile Entertainment Developer

    Brother None
    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    5,673
    Hurray! Update! Cliffhanger! Mr T saving the world with his bare hands!
     
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  21. dolio Scholar

    dolio
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    294
    Nngaaaaaahhhh!
     
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  22. sportforredneck Cipher

    sportforredneck
    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2007
    Messages:
    7,715
    I've never bothered to read this LP. Is it actually interesting?
     
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  23. Chefe Erudite

    Chefe
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    4,731
    Not really. It's just 59 pages of people saying "Stop doing this. You suck, Andyman."




    Cliffhanger?????? YOU SUCK, ANDYMAN!!!111!! ffffsssss

    [​IMG]
     
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  24. Elhoim Iron Tower Studio Developer

    Elhoim
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2006
    Messages:
    2,812
    Location:
    San Isidro, Argentina
    Well, considering one of his hands is a machinegun... They should have amputated it.
     
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