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Let Me Trainwreck Final Fantasy VII For You! (Completed!)

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
Hey, just as an incredibly stupid heads-up: I haven't forgotten about the Emerald gang.

I haven't even forgotten about P.L.P. And I'm totally stealing Fat Dragon's idea. Joe Pesci and Vladimir Putin teaming up with Voodoo Bruce Lee is an opportunity that is just too awesome to pass up.
 

Elhoim

Iron Tower Studio
Developer
Joined
Oct 27, 2006
Messages
2,878
Location
San Isidro, Argentina
Andyman Messiah said:
In the next update, we're going to visit Gongaga and witness how incompetent Cloud is. We're also going to pretend we're a cactus, omg spoiler!!

I guess you are going with Tifa and Aeris.
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
Yes, I am. For the sake of getting the most out of this whimsical story, I'm bringing along the appropriate characters.

Do you have a problem with this? Huh? Do you? Bitch?
 

Elhoim

Iron Tower Studio
Developer
Joined
Oct 27, 2006
Messages
2,878
Location
San Isidro, Argentina
Andyman Messiah said:
Yes, I am. For the sake of getting the most out of this whimsical story, I'm bringing along the appropriate characters.

Do you have a problem with this? Huh? Do you? Bitch?

Not at all, my lord. :)

And I assume you are going to post the chat the turks are having about the girls.
 

Elhoim

Iron Tower Studio
Developer
Joined
Oct 27, 2006
Messages
2,878
Location
San Isidro, Argentina
Andyman Messiah said:
Yes.

How much Pesci/Lee/Putin do you want with that, though?

Try not to overdo it, make them appear when they've got a good joke to make, so it doesn't feel forced and they become annoying.
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
Elhoim said:
Andyman Messiah said:
Yes.

How much Pesci/Lee/Putin do you want with that, though?

Try not to overdo it, make them appear when they've got a good joke to make, so it doesn't feel forced and they become annoying.
Well shit, this whole LP is based upon jokes that feels forced 99% of the time.

I could really find use for an editor. :P

God said:
Awesome, Daddy-O! You know I do this for you, baby!
 

Radisshu

Prophet
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
Messages
5,623
I always thought it was weird how you got a game over screen when you lost the fight with Dyne, even though Cloud and the other companion you chose is standing right there watching. I guess they didn't really care enough to go help him out with a phoenix down, and then just settled down in the prison and let Sephiroth summon meteor and shit.
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
So what did you guys think of the last update? I'm thinking I really should get some feedback from you faithful readers and stuff.
 

Radisshu

Prophet
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
Messages
5,623
I LIKED THE UPDATE, FF7 LPing guy. It was very dramatic and succesful at pointing out the flaws of the well-written FF7 characters.
 

God

Augur
Joined
Sep 27, 2008
Messages
131
Location
Heaven
His name is Andyman Messiah. Learn his name. Know his name. And I might spare you from fire and brimstone...
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
More feedback! Also God is correct. My name is not Locue. My name is not FF7 LPing guy. My name is not Brad Pitt. My name is ANDYMAN MESSIAH.

Btw, here's the first REJECTED script of "Pesci/Lee/Putin handles commentary"

PESCI: Hey, my name is Joe Pesci. I'm sittin' here with my two buddies here, Voodoo Bruce Lee and Vladimir Putin. We're gonna do some commentating on this game sequence. Say hello, Vladdie.
VLAD: I was James Bond before James Bond was James Bond.
PESCI: Eh, guess it's a livin'.. Hey, Voodoo Bruce Lee, you wanna say somethin'?
LEE: VOODOO BRUCE LEE WANTS BRAINS!!
PESCI: Alright, alright...
LEE: BRAINS!!
PESCI: Hey! Shaddup!
LEE: BRAINS!!
PESCI: That all he does?
PUTIN: All he ever did.
PESCI: Alright, alright. Eh, that's enough comentary for today then.
PUTIN: Okay.
PESCI: Cuz this ain't gonna work. Sorry, Andy. We'll have to postpone this.
LEE: VOODOO BRUCE LEE CAN HAVE BRAINS NOW?!
PESCI: Hey Vladdie? You ever wonder, maybe we fucked up and got a zombie Bruce Lee instead?
PUTIN: I thought that was what voodoo was all about?
PESCI: I dunno.
LEE: BRAINS!!
PESCI: Kick him in the teeth.
PUTIN: Alright.
LEE: ARGH!
PESCI: We gotta find a replacement. I hope McCain's still around.
PUTIN: Doubtful. You stabbed him in the ass with a calculator.
PESCI: Oh yeah, yeah... Shit.
PUTIN: Later.
LEE: BRAINS!!
PESCI: Heh, yeah. Kick him in the teeth again.
PUTIN: Alright.
LEE: ARGH!!
 

Fat Dragon

Arbiter
Joined
May 24, 2007
Messages
3,499
Location
local brothel
Andyman Messiah said:
So what did you guys think of the last update? I'm thinking I really should get some feedback from you faithful readers and stuff.
Like skyway said, in-party joking is always nice. Though this update was pretty good without it though since it focused more on poking fun at the story and less on the jokes. A good mix of both is best.
 

Radisshu

Prophet
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
Messages
5,623
Yeah, I like how there are new directions with some updates. Like how everything fell apart into emerald-like absurdity when they got thrown into teh pitz, and how the next update put everything back together again. If that makes any sense, uh.
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
It's been three days. Give me a sec while I go to work and eat and sleep and have sex with Kiefer Sutherland. I promise I'll have a update for you some time this week.

It's been monday for three hours, btw. That's extreme.
 

DefJam101

Arcane
Joined
Nov 11, 2007
Messages
8,047
Location
Cybernegro HQ
I'm still deciding on whether or not I want to read through this entire LP. It's a bit of a tough nugget to swallow at 35+ pages. I need some information before I make a decision... Does this LP have:

Collar-grabbing? Y/N
Multi-headed dicks? Y/N
Furry sex? Y/N
Insults aimed at the GOP? Y/N
Insults aimed at the democrats? Y/N
Communists? Y/N
Cleve? Y/N
References to nazis and the occult? Y/N
A lengthy and in-depth storyline running alongside the FF7 storyline that surprisingly has absolutely nothing to do with the FF7 storyline? Y/N
Dragonball-Z esq. screaming sequences? Y/N
kingcomrade? Y/N
 

Fat Dragon

Arbiter
Joined
May 24, 2007
Messages
3,499
Location
local brothel
I've been following this since the beginning and no, there's none of that. There's been a few black jokes aimed here and there at Barret occasionally and the few polls made have the kingcomrade option, but that's it.
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
DefJam101 said:
I'm still deciding on whether or not I want to read through this entire LP.
Don't.

It's a bit of a tough nugget to swallow at 35+ pages. I need some information before I make a decision...
Alright, bitch! I'll give you info! I'll give you all the info you need!

Collar-grabbing?
Hell yeah! Barret grabbed Mr Coates collar in the very last update!

Multi-headed dicks?
I don't know. Penises aren't really my thing. I'm gonna have to go with Hell no!

Furry sex?
Hell yeah! Mog and Mag the Mogs on Mt. Mog fucked and made an entire army of Mogs in the last minigame-chapter. I forgot which one it was. The update before the last update, I think.

Insults aimed at the GOP?
Hell no!

Insults aimed at the democrats?
Don't remember. Probably. Hell yeah!

Communists?
I think I say something bad about Lestat in one update. Lestat is said to be living in Russia. That's a Hell yeah!

Cleve?
No. Cleve stays the fuck away from this thread. I mean it. Don't even think about bringing him here! That's a Hell no! with barbeque flavouring.

References to nazis and the occult?
Hell no. I played Return to Wolfenstein, dude. I know what those crazy german people are up to.

A lengthy and in-depth storyline running alongside the FF7 storyline that surprisingly has absolutely nothing to do with the FF7 storyline?
Did someone say Al Wright, Flappyjack, Yuffie-Bubbles, Kiefer Sutherland, Colin Farrell, Joe Pesci, Voodoo Bruce Lee, Vladimir Putin and a lenghty and in-depth storyline running alongside the FF7 storyline that surprisingly has absolutely nothing to do with the FF7 storyline??!! Well, we don't have one of those. We have one that has absolutely everything to do with the FF7 storyline, though! Hell yeah!

Dragonball-Z esq. screaming sequences?
Hell no. I hate hentai.

kingcomrade?
It's been established in the Pokemon Emerald LP that Al Wright/God is kingcomrade. So HELL FUCKING YEAH!!

But don't read this crap, Deffie. Seriously. Don't. If you really want to be reasonably up to date, maybe you can go as far as to Chapter something - Good day to cross a river, where we go to Costa del Sol. But don't, please don't, read the entire thing.

Don't.
 

God

Augur
Joined
Sep 27, 2008
Messages
131
Location
Heaven
You should. I approve this topic.
 

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