Alright, you impatient fucks, welcome to Chapter 32 - It's like I'm not even trying! of Let's play Final Fantasy VII, my name is Andyman Messiah and some of you even know what I sound like now. That's creepy. Anyway, where were we now? Oh right, we had just gotten out of jail when suddenly we saw an opportunity for some nice and awesome plot! Let's do it!
Oh look everyone! It's everyone's favorite madcap comic relief bad guy duo Reeeeeeeno aaaaaaaand Ruuuuuuude!!!
...
'Ey, man, what're you so embargo'assed 'bout, man? 'Ey, you like the ladies, don't ya, huh? Huh!? Huh!!? You do, right?
...yes..
Well, come on, then, come on. Who do you like? I won't tell. My lips are sealed. Look, I'm not even talking to you anymore. Mummuffmufsssss... See?! Come on, just tell me, man.
...........Tifa.
Hmmmm.......
....what?
Nothing. Hmmmmmmmmmm!!! It's just... it's a tough one. Hmmm Hmm Hmmmm!!!
..is that the Crazy Motorcycle theme..?
Eh, I'm sure you're up to the challenge! You'll put her on the mean, lean Rude machine, eh? Eh!!? Yeah man. But, poor Elena, man. She's gonna... I mean, you and her...
...no, she likes Tseng...
Really?
Yes.
Oh man, that's awesome! That is SO going on my Twitter! Hey, you know who Tseng likes?
No?
That Ancient girl.
...is that why he kept hitting her in the face?
That's love for you, baby!
FACT: You will notice that a lot of relationships are entirely based on kicking each other in the face.
Maybe you should pay attention to the blue boxes that appear over their heads?
Quiet you!
Yeah, be quiet, whore!
Tifa, don't... look... Both of you be quiet! I have a feeling someone is behind me...
Hello!
Aieee!!
Hello!
Oh, it's you.
I'm Elena! You remember me, right? The blonde screwball female member of the Turks!
Yeah, don't worry, I remember.
Hi, Elena!
Wow, that's some nice stereo! Hi, Aeris! Hi, Tifa!
What are you doing here, Elena? Why aren't you with Reno and Rude?
Oh, I decided to take a walk. It's hard, being the only girl on a team, you know?
I couldn't possibly sa...
Oh, Elena. we can only imagine...
Tseng? But he's a complete bastard!
Don't talk like that about my man, asshole!
Yeah, don't talk like that about her man, asshole!
But Aeris, he hit you!
No, he didn't. I tripped and fell on his fist!
What?!
There's, like, a huge difference!
Yeah!
Oh yeah? So how did you lose your virginity then? You took your clothes off one day and then tripped and fell on someone's dick?
No. I just had sex, stupid.
Right, right...
So what have you been up to, guys? Not that I'd know already, of course, hahaha!!
Hahaha!!
We haven't planted any spies in your party at all, hahahaha!!
Hahaha!!
What?
Shut up, Cloud.
What?
Well, this has been a blast but I really gotta go now. Y'know, gotta alert the boys! Advance the plot and stuff!
Oh, they don't read the blue boxes either?
*sigh* Men!
What?
Well, take care, Elena!
Nice to meet you again!
Likewise!
Really?
They're really here?
Yes, they're really, really here!
They're actually really here?
No, they're actually not here!
...really?
That's a real letdown.
...it really is...
I'm really sad.
..I don't really know what I'm supposed to feel...
I'm really gonna cry now. Hold me, Rude.
..I really don't want to...
Please?
....
No, they're REALLY REALLY ACTUALLY RIGHT OVER THERE!!!!
Alright, they're here!
...they're really here.
Yeah!
...what do we do?
Let's have a chat with them!
..alright.
You can leave now, Elena.
I can?
Yes, you can really leave now.
Alright!
Bring it!
I got two things to say about this screenshot. One: I don't give a shit when I mess up screenshots. And two: Rude won't attack Tifa. Not that it's useful to know in any way. Press the attack button, you fucking moron. Eventually they'll run off!
REALLY run off!
..we really fucked up, Reno.
Nonsense, McSquigglypants! Everything is going as planned!
There must be a spy in our midst!
I bet you'd fuck the spy, you fucking whore!
What?!
And I bet you're the spy too!
What, but I'm an important plot device! How can I be a traitor?
Because that'd be the best plot twist ever!
It's definitely a better plot twist than the one they put in instead.
Shut up, Kiefer.
Whoa, Kiefer Sutherland and Colin Farrell?! It's been a long time since we saw you two!
Yeah, uh, we saw you battle those two guys and we ran to help you out but we only just got here.
Sweetie, you got the eyes of a chipmunk riding a huge eagle gundam wing commander mechwarrior robot!
Hey baby, let's kiss with lips!
Oh god!
Hello!
Oh god!
Hello!
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
I know the feeling, Kiefer.
Shut up!!
So what are you talking about?
We're saying there might be a SPY!
Well, I'm guilty, baby.
What? Colin, baby...
Guilty of lovin' you, baby.
Oh Colin..
Oh yeah, baby. Let's kiss with tongues!
Jesus Christ on a marshmallow-flavoured bicycle, I'm throwing up here!
Not even me?
Why would you be a spy, Deceive?
Well, my name is Deceive...
I tagged along with you against your wishes...
And I'm a cat!
You are?
Just look!
Meow!
See?!
Yeah, I saw.
I still see!
So I have to be a spy, don't I?
Makes sense to me!
But you're not a real cat!
Ah HA!
You're a ROBOT CAT!
Yeah... but... Ahh, okay, so I'm not a spy. Whatever!
Exactly! Stop messing around, cat.
The real spy is still on the loose...
DUH DUH DUNNNNN!!!
Thank you, Colin.
You must be really stupid, Cloud.
Hey, I fucked you, didn't I?
Hahaha, burn ice, bitch!
Well, I certainly don't trust everyone.
Oh?
Yeah.
In the next chapter of Let's play Final Fantasy VII - FLASHBACK TIME!!
Really?
Yeah.