Michael Ellis
Scholar
EDIT: I should have thought of this before. To help put you in the mood, some Ultima tunes.
http://www.moongates.com/Music.asp?midi=U5-UltimaTheme
http://www.moongates.com/Music.asp?midi=U5-Virtues
http://www.moongates.com/Music.asp?midi=U5-Stones
http://www.moongates.com/Music.asp?midi ... eBritannia
http://www.moongates.com/Music.asp?midi=U7-Stones
http://www.joxter.net/stones/ultima9stones.mp3
Long ago ran the sun on a folk who had a dream
And the heart and the will and the power:
They moved the earth; they carved the stone; moulded hill and channeled stream
That we might stand on the wide plains of Wiltshire
Now men asked who they were, how they built and wonder why
That they wrought standing stones of such size
What was done 'neath our shade? What was pray'ed 'neath our skies
As we stood on the wyrd plains of Wiltshire
Oh what secrets we could tell if you'd listen and be still
Rid the stink and the noise from our skirts
But you haven't got the clue and perhaps you never will
Mute we stand on the cold plains of Wiltshire
Still we loom in the mists as the ages roll away
And we say of our folk, "they are here!"
That they built us and they died and you'll not be knowing why
Save we stand on the bare plains of Wiltshire
http://www.joxter.net/stones/stonesacoustic.mp3
Yes, I know overkill on the Stones.
=================================================================================
[Startup screen loads with original Ultima music. Then segues into a short chase by the Shadowlords with Benny Hill theme music.]
[Ahh, the classic midi tunes from Ultima play in the background.]
[Mondain, Minax, and Exodus have somehow come to Earth and are on Jerry Springer.]
[The phone rings and The Gypsy is on the other end. She pleads for the Avatar's help.]
[Of course the Avatar gladly offers his assistance and answers her questions.]
[The Avatar grabs his shotgun and The Gypsy transports him to Britannia.]
Hail Lord British, my old friend!
[Curses! Oldschool copy protection!]
[Whew!]
[Lord British has locked himself in his room and will not leave. He explains that Mondain, Minax, and Exodus have corrupted the virtues. Mondain has taken over the Lycaeum. Minax is running Empath Abbey. Exodus has taken over Serpent's Hold. LB tasks the Avatar with setting the world right once more.]
[LB graciously offered the Avatar his supplies.]
[I found a tome of knowledge!]
[And I am restored to my former glory!]
[The guards are nicer than I remember.]
[LB has been renovating.]
[A Seer, perhaps he can offer assistance.]
[A Hawkwind tune plays in the background. Time to seek out an old friend.]
[The infirmary. Wonder if anyone I know is here.]
[I feel his pain.]
[Off to find my good friend Iolo in Britain.]
[It was gracious of LB to provide me with a map and sextant.]
[Perhaps one of these tavern patrons can assist me.]
[Hmm, maybe she would like to “join”. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more!]
[Nice song, but not of Iolo's calibre.]
[Maybe LB is wrong about the recent changes. What could be wrong with passion?]
[Things are looking up for me.]
[Bom chicka wow wow.]
[WTF?!]
[Bitch. I never liked Katrina. I'm glad I killed her in UIX.]
Maybe some other time, Pepper. <sigh>
My old friend, Gwenno!
[Iolo is nearby it seems.]
The joy of seeing an old friend warms my heart.
[The Fitzowens are having some marital difficulty.]
I will speak to Gwenno about this.
[A corset is to blame? I must ask Iolo about this mysterious corset.]
[My first fedex.]
[Obtained corset.]
[This sigil may play an important role in my quest!]
[My path is clear. My cause is just.]
[The pieces of the puzzle start to come together.]
[Fate is kind enough to allow me to see my friends and save Britannia simultaneously.]
[Find another set of runes? FFFFUUUUUTHARK!]
[Sweet!]
[Let's see what the other options are...]
[What the hell, let's check out the Den.]
[Add “obtain swamp boots” to the to-do list.]
[Strangely familiar, yet foreign.]
[Let's check out the tavern.]
[Maybe later guys. Let's see what the Guv'na has to offer.]
I have more pressing matters to attend to, sir...
But then again. Greetings, dear lady. Will you marry me?
[Win some, lose some. No action here. Let's head to Yew quicklike via the OoC.]
[OoC FTW!]
[I am liking the new Britannia more and more.]
I will seek out this judge.
[Not bad for his first attempt.]
[Maybe one day grasshopper.]
A pleasure to see thee, Jaana!
Do you know of a sigil perchance?
[Always with the quid pro quo.]
[I always knew she wanted me.]
Please, continue.
[Good think I picked up some reagents.]
Hmm, I never really thought about it that way.
[Enzyte theme plays in the background.]
[Hells yeah!]
Of course Jaana, I am not too proud to use enhancement products.
[Golden Age porn music plays in the background. Let's get it on!]
Not again! How does she keep finding me?!
I swear on the Codex – Katrina will die by my hand!
[Perhaps this fellow has information to help me.]
[What manner of Britannian is this?]
[It is nice to have someone ask how I feel for a change.]
[Ahh, the courthouse. The judge must be in here.]
[The People's Court theme plays in the background. It looks like court is in session.]
[Well, the bailiff was friendly but not very helpful.]
[Everyone always wants something from me.]
Of course Your Honor. I will put saving the world on hold.
[I will talk to the plaintiff first.]
[Now for the defendant.]
[Now to render my verdict.]
It was a difficult decision but I rule in favor of Sir Magnum, P.I.
[One down, seven to go. Back to Britain for the mantra.]
[Ahh, Pepper knows it.]
[I should have known.]
[Another relationship saved. It's all in a day's work for Bicycle Repairman.]
http://www.moongates.com/Music.asp?midi=U5-UltimaTheme
http://www.moongates.com/Music.asp?midi=U5-Virtues
http://www.moongates.com/Music.asp?midi=U5-Stones
http://www.moongates.com/Music.asp?midi ... eBritannia
http://www.moongates.com/Music.asp?midi=U7-Stones
http://www.joxter.net/stones/ultima9stones.mp3
Long ago ran the sun on a folk who had a dream
And the heart and the will and the power:
They moved the earth; they carved the stone; moulded hill and channeled stream
That we might stand on the wide plains of Wiltshire
Now men asked who they were, how they built and wonder why
That they wrought standing stones of such size
What was done 'neath our shade? What was pray'ed 'neath our skies
As we stood on the wyrd plains of Wiltshire
Oh what secrets we could tell if you'd listen and be still
Rid the stink and the noise from our skirts
But you haven't got the clue and perhaps you never will
Mute we stand on the cold plains of Wiltshire
Still we loom in the mists as the ages roll away
And we say of our folk, "they are here!"
That they built us and they died and you'll not be knowing why
Save we stand on the bare plains of Wiltshire
http://www.joxter.net/stones/stonesacoustic.mp3
Yes, I know overkill on the Stones.
=================================================================================

[Startup screen loads with original Ultima music. Then segues into a short chase by the Shadowlords with Benny Hill theme music.]

[Ahh, the classic midi tunes from Ultima play in the background.]





[Mondain, Minax, and Exodus have somehow come to Earth and are on Jerry Springer.]

[The phone rings and The Gypsy is on the other end. She pleads for the Avatar's help.]

[Of course the Avatar gladly offers his assistance and answers her questions.]

[The Avatar grabs his shotgun and The Gypsy transports him to Britannia.]

Hail Lord British, my old friend!

[Curses! Oldschool copy protection!]

[Whew!]

[Lord British has locked himself in his room and will not leave. He explains that Mondain, Minax, and Exodus have corrupted the virtues. Mondain has taken over the Lycaeum. Minax is running Empath Abbey. Exodus has taken over Serpent's Hold. LB tasks the Avatar with setting the world right once more.]

[LB graciously offered the Avatar his supplies.]

[I found a tome of knowledge!]

[And I am restored to my former glory!]

[The guards are nicer than I remember.]

[LB has been renovating.]

[A Seer, perhaps he can offer assistance.]

[A Hawkwind tune plays in the background. Time to seek out an old friend.]

[The infirmary. Wonder if anyone I know is here.]



[I feel his pain.]

[Off to find my good friend Iolo in Britain.]

[It was gracious of LB to provide me with a map and sextant.]

[Perhaps one of these tavern patrons can assist me.]

[Hmm, maybe she would like to “join”. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more!]

[Nice song, but not of Iolo's calibre.]

[Maybe LB is wrong about the recent changes. What could be wrong with passion?]

[Things are looking up for me.]

[Bom chicka wow wow.]

[WTF?!]

[Bitch. I never liked Katrina. I'm glad I killed her in UIX.]

Maybe some other time, Pepper. <sigh>

My old friend, Gwenno!

[Iolo is nearby it seems.]

The joy of seeing an old friend warms my heart.

[The Fitzowens are having some marital difficulty.]
I will speak to Gwenno about this.

[A corset is to blame? I must ask Iolo about this mysterious corset.]

[My first fedex.]

[Obtained corset.]

[This sigil may play an important role in my quest!]

[My path is clear. My cause is just.]

[The pieces of the puzzle start to come together.]

[Fate is kind enough to allow me to see my friends and save Britannia simultaneously.]

[Find another set of runes? FFFFUUUUUTHARK!]

[Sweet!]

[Let's see what the other options are...]

[What the hell, let's check out the Den.]

[Add “obtain swamp boots” to the to-do list.]

[Strangely familiar, yet foreign.]

[Let's check out the tavern.]

[Maybe later guys. Let's see what the Guv'na has to offer.]

I have more pressing matters to attend to, sir...

But then again. Greetings, dear lady. Will you marry me?

[Win some, lose some. No action here. Let's head to Yew quicklike via the OoC.]

[OoC FTW!]

[I am liking the new Britannia more and more.]

I will seek out this judge.

[Not bad for his first attempt.]

[Maybe one day grasshopper.]

A pleasure to see thee, Jaana!
Do you know of a sigil perchance?

[Always with the quid pro quo.]

[I always knew she wanted me.]

Please, continue.

[Good think I picked up some reagents.]

Hmm, I never really thought about it that way.

[Enzyte theme plays in the background.]

[Hells yeah!]

Of course Jaana, I am not too proud to use enhancement products.

[Golden Age porn music plays in the background. Let's get it on!]

Not again! How does she keep finding me?!


I swear on the Codex – Katrina will die by my hand!

[Perhaps this fellow has information to help me.]

[What manner of Britannian is this?]

[It is nice to have someone ask how I feel for a change.]

[Ahh, the courthouse. The judge must be in here.]

[The People's Court theme plays in the background. It looks like court is in session.]

[Well, the bailiff was friendly but not very helpful.]

[Everyone always wants something from me.]

Of course Your Honor. I will put saving the world on hold.
[I will talk to the plaintiff first.]

[Now for the defendant.]

[Now to render my verdict.]

It was a difficult decision but I rule in favor of Sir Magnum, P.I.

[One down, seven to go. Back to Britain for the mantra.]

[Ahh, Pepper knows it.]

[I should have known.]

[Another relationship saved. It's all in a day's work for Bicycle Repairman.]