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Crispy™ Let's Crash to Desktop like it's 1995 in Realms of Arkania High Derpolution

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by hoverdog, Dec 22, 2013.

  1. hoverdog dog that is hovering, Wastelands Interactive Developer

    hoverdog
    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2010
    Messages:
    5,591
    Location:
    Jordan, Minnesota
    Project: Eternity
    +M
    In a move that was probably my worst decision ever, I preordered Realms of Arkania HD. Now, half a year and thousands of patches later, the time has come to actually play this motherfucker. Considering it's the definition of shovelware, it will be much more fun to share a playthrough of this amazing gem with the Kodex. Trust me, you won't regret it. I will, though.


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    The title screen isn't that bad.

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    Chances are, bugs and patches will kill us much earlier than anything in-game, so Professional it is.

    [​IMG]

    The GFX still are passable.

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    goddamned radial menu:decline:.

    Now, time for you to create a Codex team! There are 6 spots to take. Don't worry if you're late, I'm going semi-ironman - any poor killed codexer will be replaced with a fresh new meatshield. You can choose an archetype and if you want, skills and spells to specialize in.

    Archetypes to choose from:

    [​IMG]

    (one thing I'm sure hasn't been replaced since the game shipped are those 3d models - AWWW SHIEET THEY ARE SO FUCKING TERRIBLE I WANT TO GOUGE MY EYES OUT)

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  2. ERYFKRAD Barbarian Patron

    ERYFKRAD
    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2012
    Messages:
    18,246
    Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    Sure, sign me up as a Warrior/Thorwalian with a two-handed specialization, max Str and Temper if possible.
    :salute:
     
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  3. procrastinator Arcane

    procrastinator
    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    949
    PROCRASTINATHORWALIAN

    :outrage:
     
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  4. good little toastboy Augur Patron

    good little toastboy
    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2010
    Messages:
    400
    Location:
    Nazi Germany
    Dead State Project: Eternity Wasteland 2
    Toastboy the leaf elf. Let's see if he can be as great a hero as toastboy the green elf in pussycat's LP of the original.
     
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  5. Kalin Arcane Zionist Agent

    Kalin
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2010
    Messages:
    1,867,030
    Location:
    Al Scandiya
    Never thought I'd see an LP of this atrocity! :salute:

    Sign me up as a Human Wizard focused on demonology.
     
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  6. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2004
    Messages:
    8,189
    Location:
    Copenhagen, Denmark
    Codex 2012
    Thorwalian here. Let's see how skewed we can make this party. :yeah:
     
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  7. tindrli Arcane

    tindrli
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2011
    Messages:
    4,139
    Location:
    Dragodol
    Magician i want to be

    Rogue i wana be since wizard is taken, add curiosity and avarice
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2013
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  8. good little toastboy Augur Patron

    good little toastboy
    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2010
    Messages:
    400
    Location:
    Nazi Germany
    Dead State Project: Eternity Wasteland 2
    I just noticed the starting money: 6 Ducats on an elf? 2 Ducats on a druid? :decline:
     
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  9. ERYFKRAD Barbarian Patron

    ERYFKRAD
    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2012
    Messages:
    18,246
    Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    It's not like Druids need all that cash anyway. Plus it's not like you'll suffer for cash.
     
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  10. MotherMachinae Arcane

    MotherMachinae
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2013
    Messages:
    1,867,230
    Location:
    In the court of Atomic Rooster
    Momma the Female Dorf, with some berserks sets (disadvantages from RoA1?) like Violent Temper.
    Time to take out the trash with bronze axe.
     
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  11. Nicebrain Educated Patron

    Nicebrain
    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2007
    Messages:
    53
    Location:
    In your head
    Codex 2012 Serpent in the Staglands Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera
    Morris Nicebrain, warrior with a violent temper
     
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  12. Abelian Somebody's Alt

    Abelian
    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2013
    Messages:
    2,289
    Amadan Gallowglass the hunter. High agility and dexterity. Amadan means "idiot" in Irish, so feel free to give him low cleverness and charisma. Some points in curiosity for kicks, since a curious idiot can get himself in all sorts of trouble.

    The models look like they're covered in Saran wrap :lol:.
     
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  13. Crooked Bee (no longer) a wide-wandering bee Patron

    Crooked Bee
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2010
    Messages:
    15,028
    Location:
    In quarantine
    Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire MCA Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 BattleTech Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    Oh no. I'm not enrolling for this!

    (In b4 abandoned at page 3 2.)
     
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  14. ALchymist Educated Patron

    ALchymist
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2013
    Messages:
    88
    Codex 2013 Codex USB, 2014
    Never played the game so I hope this makes sense

    Male magician, low courage, high necrophobia ,acrophobia, claustrophobia (scared of everything), high dexterity, agility (to run away) , intuition, low violent temper, superstition (he's afraid to walk under ladders but he knows something will fall on him so it's justified). Name Rincewind.
     
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  15. hoverdog dog that is hovering, Wastelands Interactive Developer

    hoverdog
    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2010
    Messages:
    5,591
    Location:
    Jordan, Minnesota
    Project: Eternity
    This is a highly probable outcome.
     
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  16. Darth Roxor Prestigious Gentleman Wielder of the Huegpenis

    Darth Roxor
    Joined:
    May 29, 2008
    Messages:
    1,873,524
    Location:
    Djibouti
    I gotta love how they keep completely changing the UI OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN :lol:

    Allow me to sign up as Commander Boreale, the extra charming he-witch :troll:
     
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  17. Luzur Prestigious Gentleman Good Sir

    Luzur
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
    Messages:
    33,849
    Location:
    Swedish Empire
    [​IMG]

    looks like those two are watching that guy with a spear taking a shit off a cliff.

    original screen looked better.

    also, if you have room, sign me up ya know, long blond with pigtails and horn helmet guy.
     
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  18. Smashing Axe Arcane Patron

    Smashing Axe
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2011
    Messages:
    2,701
    Divinity: Original Sin
    Fighter guy with an axe would suit me well.

    Or anything else, if convenient. An elf is pretty useful in RoA
     
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  19. Darth Roxor Prestigious Gentleman Wielder of the Huegpenis

    Darth Roxor
    Joined:
    May 29, 2008
    Messages:
    1,873,524
    Location:
    Djibouti
  20. MotherMachinae Arcane

    MotherMachinae
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2013
    Messages:
    1,867,230
    Location:
    In the court of Atomic Rooster
    I hope it is good pain(tm) for him.
     
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  21. Zeriel Arcane

    Zeriel
    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2012
    Messages:
    7,805
    Let's put on the proper soundtrack to enjoy this masterpiece:

    Link.
     
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  22. alkeides Arcane Patron

    alkeides
    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2010
    Messages:
    4,835
    Name: Malefor the Malevolent
    Class: Magician-Demonology College

    Moar!
     
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  23. Eriador Arbiter

    Eriador
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2014
    Messages:
    423
    Assuming you are going to LP this trainwreck of a game sometime add me to the rooster:

    Name: Eriador
    Class: Silvan Elf, archer

    Or as a male dwarf with the same name if you have too much elves.
     
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  24. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    15,456
    Location:
    Insert clever insult here
    Definitely add Black Cat the female magician with high charm, once you run out of bodies.
     
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