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Completed Let's earn glory and dig graves in Battle Brothers: a blind Ironman LP

Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
2,601
Location
Airstrip One
Victorious Living
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Azira
Hired:
day 0
Battles: 22
Kills: 22
Background: Companion. Azira is not known to be a big talker, but he has every right to be. He learned how to fight from his father, a vanguard at the Battle of Many Names. With quick whirls and whips of his shield, the man's deflected all manner of mortal danger. Although rather quiet, you've found Azira's place in a shield-wall to be rather indispensable.
Traits: Tough; Strong
Perks: Colossus, Gifted, Shield Expert
Lvl 4
HP**: 108
Max Fatigue*: 120
Resolve*: 48
Initiative: 101
Melee Attack: 62
Ranged Attack: 41
Melee Defense: 15
Ranged Defense: 8

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oscar
Hired: day 1
Battles: 21
Kills: 14

Background: Vagabond. oscar did not have the business acumen to protect his inheritance from debtors, lawmen, and other maleficent men. Now he wanders with the last of his crowns jangling in a pocket. Sadly, the world is not a pleasant place for those who nobody would miss. He was harassed and bullied every day. A thief, a scoundrel, a baker, a tailor, oscar's done it all. Too bad he was never good at any of those things. Maybe it'll be different this time.
Traits: Fainthearted, Superstitious, Maimed Foot
Perks: Pathfinder, Gifted
Lvl 3
HP: 54
Max Fatigue: 115
Resolve***: 22
Initiative: 83
Melee Attack*: 57
Ranged Attack: 32
Melee Defense: 10
Ranged Defense**: 11


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Beowulf
Hired: day 1
Battles: 21
Kills: 18
Background: Fisherman. Beowulf was content with being a fisherman. As long as there was no storm, he was out there, fishing, day in and out. It was after he strangled his wife in a fit of rage that he lost all interest in the fighting trade. Visiting the tavern one evening, a new opportunity presented itself with the promise of coin for dangerous work.
Traits: Brave
Perks: Colossus, Dodge, Backstabber
Lvl 4
HP: 86
Max Fatigue*: 115
Resolve: 44
Initiative: 118
Melee Attack: 52
Ranged Attack*: 36
Melee Defense*: 3
Ranged Defense: 5

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Hoodoo
Hired: day 5
Battles: 17
Kills: 16

Background: Gambler. Everyone gambles, so Hoodoo figured why not do it for money? The constant coming and going of mercenaries made for easy targets - until one sore loser ran him off with a bastard sword. Wars have sapped most of the fish from his card games. Instead of waiting around he figured he'd just go ahead and follow them.
Traits: Cocky, Fearless
Perks: Nine Lives, Gifted
Lvl 3
HP: 56
Max Fatigue: 87
Resolve**: 62
Initiative*: 122
Melee Attack: 54
Ranged Attack: 40
Melee Defense: 3
Ranged Defense*: 9


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HeroicBloodshed
Hired: day 5
Battles: 17
Kills: 16

Background: Brawler. A hard upbringing by his father and brothers honed HeroicBloodshed into being a temperamental fighter. Fiery in spirit, he's always willing to take up fisticuffs. Local fighting rings say he's got a mean left hook. After years of hardship, the promise of regular pay for mercenary work is a tempting offer for him, even through he has little idea of actual warfare.
Traits: Quick, Brave
Perks: Student, Gifted
Lvl 3
HP: 76
Max Fatigue*: 104
Resolve: 50
Initiative*: 119
Melee Attack: 59
Ranged Attack: 40
Melee Defense**: 13
Ranged Defense: 3

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MZeta
Hired: day 5
Battles: 17
Kills: 17

Background: Apprentice. One enters the world always looking to be the best they can be, but no one gets there in an instant. MZeta thought the same, taking the role of an apprentice in Grollfeste. He had soaked up all there was to learn: masonry, carpentry, blacksmithing, lovemaking. Now he turns his eyes on the martial arts. While he isn't exactly a warrior yet, MZeta is a fast learner.
Traits: Determined
Perks: Colossus, Gifted
Lvl 3
HP: 81
Max Fatigue: 97
Resolve: 42
Initiative: 110
Melee Attack: 59
Ranged Attack*: 30
Melee Defense*: 11
Ranged Defense*: 8


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Modron
Hired: day 5
Battles: 17
Kills: 14

Background: Tailor. As tunics and shirts grew popular, Modron turned to tailoring to make a crown or two. But when he sheared a sheep that did not belong to him, Modron was kicked out of town. Now the tailor looks for a new life, no matter where it takes him. Tailors don't seem fit for combat, but then again neither do most of the men you run across these days.
Traits:
Perks: Nine Lives, Dodge
Lvl 3
HP: 60
Max Fatigue: 95
Resolve: 33
Initiative**: 112
Melee Attack: 52
Ranged Attack**: 48
Melee Defense: 5
Ranged Defense*: 6


[] Ninjerk
Hired: day 14
Battles: 8
Kills: 4
Background: Thief. Growing up in a family servant to a rich noble, the eventual-theif Ninjerk spent many years staring at royal opulence - and stealing from it. Ninjerk's thievery eventually place him at the head of an entire guild. But after a dozen failed assassination attempts, the theif realized there was nobody to trust in his line of work. Years of thieving have made Ninjerk adept at escaping trouble.
Traits: []
Perks: []
Lvl 1
HP: []
Max Fatigue: []
Resolve: []
Initiative: []
Melee Attack: []
Ranged Attack: []
Melee Defense: []
Ranged Defense: []

[]
Andjord
Hired: day 14
Battles: 8
Kills: 10
Background: Thief. Born as the sixth-child of an already impoverished family, the budding thief Andnjord first learned his craft by stealing the last bits of dinner. After a heist went south, the man fingered all his former partners to save his own hide. Now he can never go back to thieving. With one hand, Andnjord twirls a blade between his fingers. With the other, he snags your purse. Impressive. Now give it back.
Traits: []
Perks: []
Lvl 1
HP: []
Max Fatigue: []
Resolve: []
Initiative: []
Melee Attack: []
Ranged Attack: []
Melee Defense: []
Ranged Defense: []


[]
aeternalis
Hired: day 15
Battles: 7
Kills: 4
Background: Sellsword. []
Traits: []
Perks: []
Lvl 4
HP: []
Max Fatigue: []
Resolve: []
Initiative: []
Melee Attack: []
Ranged Attack: []
Melee Defense: []
Ranged Defense: []


[] RAGEFUP
Hired: day 23
Battles: 4
Kills: 6
Background: Sellsword. []
Traits: []
Perks: []
Lvl 1
HP: []
Max Fatigue: []
Resolve: []
Initiative: []
Melee Attack: []
Ranged Attack: []
Melee Defense: []
Ranged Defense: []

Honoured Dead
Gregz the Beggar.
Hired: day 1
Battles: 1
Kills: 0
Died: day 1
He never asked for this, but the Bandit Thug thrusting a spear into his chest didn't give a fuck :salute:
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Reinhardt the Monk.
Hired: day 3
Battles: 4
Kills: 0
Died: day 4
There are some who say that the Bandit Raider who smashed his face in with a flail was doing him a favour :salute:

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ERYFKRAD the Gravedigger.
Hired: day 3
Battles: 3
Kills: 0
Died: day 4
His biggest achievement in life was giving the Bandit Raider a DOUBLE KILL announcement :salute:

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Wayward Son the Ratcatcher.
Hired: day 3
Battles: 14
Kills: 6
Died: day 15
In only two weeks he graduated from battling rats in his anus to dueling an Orc Berserker on the high ground :salute:

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Gondolin the Companion.
Hired: day 0
Battles: 15
Kills: 12
Died: day 15
Bled out, tearing at Wayward Son's killer with his very last breath :salute:

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Storyfag the Caravan Hand.
Hired: day 15
Battles: 3
Kills: 1
Died: day 22
The Bandit Marksman may have been engaged in melee combat, but that didn't stop him shooting Storyfag in the head :salute:

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Longinus the Companion.
Hired: day 0
Battles: 22
Kills: 19
Died: day 30
Hacked to pieces by two Wiedergangers after his Bros failed miserably :salute:
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Fresh Meat

Game Stuff
Fast Adaption - +7% to hit for each attack until you hit
Crippling Strikes - lower threshold to inflict injuries
Colossus - +25% HP
Nine Lives - survive one killing blow
Bags and Belts - two extra bag slots
Pathfinder - less AP and fatigue for moving
Adrenaline - move to front of action order for next turn
Recover - reduces fatigue by 50%
Student - 20% extra HP and free perk at lvl 11
Executioner - +20% damage against targets with injury effects
Head Hunter - +10% chance to hit head each time you hit the body
Bullseye - penalty to hit for a target not in clear line of sight reduced by 50%
Dodge - gain 15% of Initiative as Melee/Ranged Defense until hit
Fortified Mind - +25% Resolve
Quick Hands - swapping items in battle becomes a free action
Gifted - instantly gain level to increase attributes with +1 roll modifier
Backstabber - bonus to hit for surrounding enemies doubled
Underdog - defense malus for being surrounded removed
Anticipation - gain Ranged Defense for each tile the attacker is away
Shield Expert - +25% from defense granted by shields
Brawny - reduced fatigue penalty from armour and helmet
Steel Brow - hits to head no longer cause critical damage
Taunt - taunts enemy to take offensive action against you
Mace Mastery - mace skills cost less fatigue and stun chance becomes 100%
Flail Mastery - flail skills cost less fatigue and ignore shields
Hammer Mastery - hammer skills cost less fatigue and do more damage to armour
Axe Mastery - axe skills cost less fatigue and do more damage to shields - Azira
Cleaver Mastery - cleaver skills cost less fatigue and bleeding damage is doubled
Sword Mastery - sword skills cost less fatigue and hit easier
Dagger Mastery - dagger skills cost less fatigue and use less action points
Polearm Mastery - polearm skills cost less fatigue and hit easier
Spear Mastery - spear skills cost less fatigue and Spearwall is improved
Crossbow Mastery - crossbow skills cost less fatigue and penetrate more armour
Bow Mastery - bow skills cost less fatigue and have greater range
Throwing Mastery - throwing skills cost less fatigue and do more damage
Reach Advantage - each hit with a two-handed weapon adds a stacking Melee Defense boost
Hold Out - harder to injure and injuries have no effect in that battle
Lone Wolf - bonus to all stats when no allies within 3 tiles
Footwork - ignores Zone of Control
Rally the Troops - raises morale of all nearby allies
Berserk - gains 4 action points for killing enemy
Nimble - gain up to 50% of Melee Defense, reduced by carried weight
Battle Forged - armour damage reduced by 5% of total armour value
Rotation - allows swapping positions with other characters
Segeant - gives 15% of Resolve to all other characters
Fearsome - every attack triggers a morale check on enemies
Duelist - +25% of damage ignores armour when off-hand is free
Killing Frenzy - kills increase damage by 25% for 2 turns
Indomitable - grants 50% damage reduction for a limited time
 
Last edited:
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
2,601
Location
Airstrip One
That's right, bitches, I'm back with yet another LP, and this one absolutely will not be abandoned by page 3 :M
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And you want to know the reasons why? That's because I have absolutely no idea how to play this game. I didn't even touch the demo. I'll be learning as I play, which means that, like in all good X-COM flicks, I shall be taking volunteers to act as my brave soldiers - and you are all going to die like the vermin you are, over and over and over again. Which is something I'll take a sick, twisted pleasure in.
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There's no tutorial so we get dropped straight into our first engagement: piss poor preparation and the clear lack of any sentry means the prodigal Hoggart and his band of outlaws get the drop on our Bros.
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RIP Captain Bernhard. I hope your last thoughts were on how you'd failed to properly prepare your men :smug:
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Even after I've taken an arrow in the knee, my superior tactical expertise allows us to fuck up the bandits who curbstomped our Bros while Hoggart flees like the coward he is.
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Our Bro speaks sense, and each dead Bro means a larger share of gold for each of us. I'd say the town wasn't too far away, but I've honestly got no idea on the scale. How time progresses will let me find out.
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But first and foremost, the three surviving companions need naming. First off we have a fighter; strong, tough, unyielding.
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Next up we have a Battle Bro who's the manliest man amongst these men. Which of you will be ballsy enough to go for death or glory? :smug:
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Finally we have a marksman. Perhaps he's the least risky choice on paper, but there's no safe place on the battlefield.
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Last edited:

Baron Dupek

Arcane
Joined
Jul 23, 2013
Messages
1,868,859
Location
Kitchen sink
and this one absolutely will not be abandoned by page 3
because it will be dropped at 1st amrite?
Because bugs of course. Still in EA, is that right?

Want to be 2nd bro with bigsword (Hoodstripper) named Longinus.
 

Azira

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Nov 3, 2004
Messages
8,424
Location
Copenhagen, Denmark
Codex 2012
I want to be on the frontlines, so I can be eaten by a werewolf. :salute:
 

Gondolin

Arcane
Joined
Oct 6, 2007
Messages
5,551
Location
Purveyor of fine art
Meh, sign me up as a frontliner for this three-page LP.
 
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
2,601
Location
Airstrip One
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
2,601
Location
Airstrip One
After a short pause figuring out what does what, I steer the Bros towards Holmwik with the promise of booze, women and gold. Checking the numbers at the top, it looks like we can repair equipment and heal Bros while marching.
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Our contact meets us at the gates. Damn right we're still getting paid :rpgcodex:
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I'm all for choice and consequence, but there really is no choice here. Bros don't like Bros die in cold blood, bro; so we're going to hunt down that bastard and drag his carcass to whoever wants it most.
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Azira shows his stripes by looking after our Bros best interests :salute:
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This town has three options. We can hire more warm bodies to catch arrows for our more valued personal, go shopping for more kit, or hire passage on a shipping vessel. Hopefully the latter will open up the possibility of becoming pirates in the near future.
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I'm going to take Azira's advice and hire three dirty peasants. It'll be first come first served for whoever wants to sign their life away to me, metaphorically and likely physically :smug:
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Gregz

Arcane
Joined
Jul 31, 2011
Messages
7,697
Location
The Desert Wasteland
Veteran - Check
Ironman - Check
Never played before - Check

I'm back with yet another LP, and this one absolutely will not be abandoned by page 3

:lol:
 

Beowulf

Arcane
Joined
Mar 2, 2015
Messages
1,739
Sign me up. If I live long enough I'd prefer a zweihander - if you can afford it, that is.
 

oscar

Arcane
Joined
Aug 30, 2008
Messages
7,902
Location
NZ
I will sign up as the vagabond (cheap, good fatigue, usually mediocre stats). There will be urban-type mercs at the next town too.
 

Modron

Arcane
Joined
May 5, 2012
Messages
5,442
Veteran - Check
Ironman - Check
Never played before - Check

I'm back with yet another LP, and this one absolutely will not be abandoned by page 3

:lol:
Yeah it's almost if the game took pity on him giving him some decent starting folk, iron lunged guy with a focus on melee and defense.

Sign me up for the tailor you'll carry around for 100+ days hoping the dire "I can't believe they are not werewolves" wolf skins into armor event will trigger.
 

Reinhardt

Arcane
Joined
Sep 4, 2015
Messages
21,511
Count me in too. I don't even need to think about name.
I want to be a Witchhunter. Or whatever.:happytrollboy:
 

ERYFKRAD

Barbarian
Patron
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
24,413
Strap Yourselves In Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire [Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.] Pathfinder: Kingmaker I'm very into cock and ball torture I helped put crap in Monomyth
I volunteer to krump some gits with a decent two-hander.
 

Hoodoo

It gets passed around.
Dumbfuck
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
6,675
if you go through enough guys sign me up
 

Azira

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Nov 3, 2004
Messages
8,424
Location
Copenhagen, Denmark
Codex 2012
Abandoned on page one. :rpgcodex:
 

Azira

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Nov 3, 2004
Messages
8,424
Location
Copenhagen, Denmark
Codex 2012
Now you're just teasing.
 

Ninjerk

Arcane
Joined
Jul 10, 2013
Messages
14,259
Zweihander corps pls
 
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
2,601
Location
Airstrip One
I hate to disappoint, but everyone wanting zweihanders are probably going to die with a farming tool or woodcutting axe in hand :M

I'm updating on Sunday. Thanks to the surplus of fresh meat, I'll try to make it a double - one then the other later that day.
 

MZeta

Scholar
Joined
Sep 28, 2015
Messages
103
Sing me in when you have space for another meatbag. Spear and shield preference.
 

Andnjord

Arcane
Joined
Aug 22, 2012
Messages
2,678
Location
The North Sea
Ready to sign up for second rank duty sire! Give me a pike or a halberd (a pitchfork will do) and I will skewer those rascals from behind the bros (and hopefully not be eaten by a werewolf:negative:).
 
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
2,601
Location
Airstrip One
With our team set, we strike out for Kampstadt, a city to the south-west. Along the way I learn that we move slower in forest and can have time pass whilst standing still.
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Night falls as we reach the city. Gondolin chooses the Paragon option before Longinus butts in with the Renegade interrupt.
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I agree with our depressed Bro. Beer comes first!
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Without any other business, and with zero volunteers, we leave before dawn, returning to Holmwik
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:mob:
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The battlefield is set. We outnumber the enemy, but we're more a bunch of armoured farmers than real warriors.
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Gondolin draws first blood with his crossbow :salute:
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Things start to get exciting as the enemy draws near. The bandit marksman misses and Gondolin cripples a bandit, shooting the fucker in the hand.
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The next few exchanges go poorly for us. Azira blocks at attack with his shield but things go downhill from there. Oscar is saved as an axe gets caught in his tunic, only glancing him. Gregz gets shot in the lung - in the fucking lung, meaning he is fucking useless.
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Beowulf nets Hoggart to keep him out of the fight for a little longer as we make a stand on the higher ground.
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:yeah:
Gondolin makes it 3 in 3, almost murdering Hoggart with a shot to the face. I don't know how we survived that, but hey ho.
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RIP Gregz :salute:
You were slightly more useful than that net.
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But fuck that loser. Longinus shows what we were all about about dodging a point-blank shot by the marksman! A burkha does not protect you from a madman with an axe.
:yeah:
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Oscar trades blows with a bandit at the heart of our battleline and comes off 2nd best by a mile - having his leg broken by a solid blow from the bandit's flail.
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Beowulf gets in on the fun in what is turning to be an all out brawl. Oscar survives by the skin of his teeth, fending off a blow that shatters his shield.
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Oscar falls with a blow to the head. Beowulf steps up in to the gap and almost takes down a bandit, hitting him square in the chest/
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With most of the enmy heavily wounded, we start to take the upper hand. Hoggart stabs Longinus before getting decapitated by a mighty swing of his axe and Gondolin takes down the heavily injured bandit.
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Beowulf is the last Bro to take a heavy blow as the enemy start to crumble.
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The last one falls and we're rewarded with the victory screen! All of our companion Bros did a good job, with Beowulf easily trumping the rest of the newcomer.
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Seems those stars on each Bros stats effect the increase in stats for each level up. They're different for each one, so I don't know if they're randomised. Gondolin gets Initiative, Ranged Attack and Ranged Defense; Longinus gets Bravery, Melee Attack and Melee Defense and Azira takes HP, Bravery and Melee Defense.
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They also get a perk each. Azira takes Colussus, Longinus gets Pathfinder and Gondolin becomes a Student. I'm thinking from now on I'll let you choose what improvements you want to take.
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Lvl 1 Perks
Fast Adaption - +7% to hit for each attack until you hit
Crippling Strikes - lower threshold to inflict injuries
Colossus - +25% HP
Nine Lives - survive one killing blow
Bags and Belts - two extra bag slots
Pathfinder - less AP and Fatigue for moving
Adrenaline - move to front of action order for next turn
Recover - reduces Fatigue by 50%
Student - 20% extra XP and free perk at lvl 11

Gondolin harps in, spoiling our victory celebration. Fixing things on the move is hard, thanks Cpt Obvious.
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Nobody gives a fuck about Gregz as the beer starts to flow :smug:
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