Completed Let's earn glory and dig graves in Battle Brothers: a blind Ironman LP

[Undead Phoenix]

After the battle is over and we begin heading back to the tavern for warm beer and warmer women, ERYFKRAD has a sudden case of faggotry.

Man the fuck up, bitch.

400 gold better off, we wait out for dawn so we can get a new mission and sell off our loot.

Escort duty is the only available paying job. Negotiation ups our price from 240 gold to 310 gold and I pay a few more days worth of food, tools and medicine for the trip.

I'm beginning to get my hopes up that we won't get attacked. We get most of the way to Grollfeste, past the stage of our initial battle, before bandits engage us.

Gondolin wastes no time, snapping off a shot the instant battle lines are formed

My strategy is simple: let the caravans own hires take the initial clash and brunt of the damage, letting us outflank and roll them up.

Once against Azira will be our pivot, but this time he takes a hard hit before we really get into position.

It isn't as much of a clusterfuck as it looks. Wayward Son uses his net to hinder one bandit in combat and Longinus ups his killing spree with another decapitation!

Honestly, we have overwhelming numbers. After the initial hit on the caravan's Guards and Hands, all they can do is scratch our Bros as we envelop them.

The rest fall in quick succession, Longinus getting another notch on his axe after the bandit he was engaging tries to run, only to get smashed trying to leave his zone of control.

Minimal damage was done to us, and everyone contributed.

But itz not over! The caravan goes firm as we loot the bodies and prepare for another attack.

There's a few pieces of nice armour, and ERYFKRAD gets rewarded with a big two-hander for him to compensate with

First impressions are a big thing, and this group appears a lot tougher than the last. They may only have 4 melee guys, but already their 2 archers are making their presence felt.

Wayward Son and Longinus avoid the main brawl to bring the pain to one of the Marksmen and the other shoots his own mate in the back

Thinking Longinus can take the bow-wielding bandit in close combat, Wayward Son moves to engage the other. I feel quite silly when Longinus starts to lose.

A Caravan Hand falls and Longinus strikes back, almost killing his enemy in a single blow! Almost is not good enough

RIP Reinhardt
Shields are no defense versus a flail.

Unable to have an impact on the main fight, Gondolin practices his kill stealing

RIP ERYFKRAD
You almost avenged Reindart, but you couldn't quite hit hard enough to finish off the raider.

Bandits and Caravan Guards die, leaving Azira and Wayward Son as our only Bros left in danger. A Bandit Raider makes his last stand, surrounded and cut off, dying from a pitchfork in the gut.

Gondolin takes one more kill after Wayward Son can't finish off the knife-wielding archer fast enough in a duel.

Looks like we'll be needing some new Bros.

Thankfully we reach Grollfeste without any other problems. The money is nice, but it remains to be seen if it will cover who we need to hire.

MotherMachinae - you also can pick any perk available from the updated list at the start of the LP.

oscar - we looted two bows from the last battle. Your maimed foot means you can currently move one hex -or- use your pitchfork. Only lvl 1 perks are available to you.

Gondolin

We need more warm bodies for our shield-wall. Currently we're equipped as: oscar (bow), Gondolin (crossbow), Azira (axe, shield), Wayward Son (flail, shield), Beowulf (spear, shield), Longinus (big axe).

 

[Gondolin]

Killstealing for ever. Or for a couple more battles until I kick the bucket.

 

[Reinhardt]

I was too handsome for this lp...

 

[dag0net]

At least u got your praying done before it was too late.

 

[MZeta]

Much better than my last ironman attempt.

 

[Baron Dupek]

Gondolin u killstealer
Checked perks... Longinus is well know Head Hunter so get that one. No need for overrated katana when you have SWORD
Points - two into melee defence, one into range defence.
Still miss proper two-handed sword (muh roleplaying aspect)...

 

[oscar]

Pathfinder should cancel out my foot injury. Considering my low skill and potential as an archer, I'll invest in melee, melee defence and ranged defence to remain a pikeman.

 

[Undead Phoenix]

Killstealing for ever. Or for a couple more battles until I kick the bucket.

Which will be a lot sooner if you don't say what you want to level up

Even a useless cripple like oscar will become more useful.

 

[Gondolin]

Which will be a lot sooner if you don't say what you want to level up

Even a useless cripple like oscar will become more useful.

Put my points in Fatigue, Ranged Attack and Ranged Defense. For perks, I'll take Crippling Strikes (lvl 1) and Bullseye (at lvl 2).

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Put all my points in dying.

 

[Modron]

Put all my points in dying.

So a combo of bravery, initiative, and fatigue every level?

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Put all my points in dying.

So a combo of bravery, initiative, and fatigue every level?

Seeing as my char died, yeah, sure, why not.

 

[Andnjord]

That was a though encounter there, shame you didn't get to loot their armours. to our fallen brothers!

 

[Undead Phoenix]

With everywhere shut, we camp outside until the first rays of morning.

Grollfeste is a major city, a bastion in the foothills of the mountains. The prices some mercenaries demand is too steep to be inducted into the Ways of the Bro.

There's actual, specialised armourers and weaponsmiths. And like all armourers I know - they're tight gits when it comes to giving out their stuff.

We strike out east and south to the fort of Grunenturm, acompanied by our newest Bros: Hoodoo , HeroicBloodshed and MZeta

There's no work for us in that fort, so we carry on south to Birkenburg. However we're still unable to find work fit for our glorious Band of Bros.

The unaligned city of Freistadt is next on our journey. It's description seems a lot more promising than the motte & bailey and keep we've passed through.

Two missions! And even better there's a barber for all you filthy bastards. If you want me to rip off your face and stable a new one on; tell me during your lvl up and give me a broad description of what you'd like to see.

Freistadt also sees the fabulous Modron join our group

We take up the first contract. Only we are allowed to pillage the dead!

Demanding an extra 50 judengelt on top of the 350 offered, we jot down the location of the cemetery on our map. It's close, and we'll get there by midday.

:horror:

Joking. I ain't afraid of no ghost

I have no idea what we'll face, but we start in the corner of the battlefield. The terrain is shitty, swampy and muddy, and will be extremely hard work to maneuver on. Thankfully, there's nothing in sight and we've upgraded our ranged capability with Modron and Hoodoo.

A wild zombie appears!

Does a kill count as a kill when it's already dead? Hoodoo seems to think so.

Our Bros would be exhausted if they had to march through that deep swamp-water, but the zombies wiedergangers don't have a single fuck to give. Especially when they rise from a shallow grave once again.

They reach our line in drips and drabs, unable to do more than claw at our shields.

You'd think that the terrain would favour the undead, but it is very much to our advantage. We don't really have to move - peppering them as they wade towards us, one hex a turn, while our melee Bros put down the rising dead.

It's slow work, but there's virtually no risk here.

Easy life

Easy gold

Our next boss would fit right in to General Discussion and wants us to retrieve his Codex.

420 crowns and everything we can loot seems like a sweet deal to me.

Azira is the last of the companions to hit lvl 3. Pick any perk except Colossus and take 3 advances

Wayward Son has been pretty badass in his short time with us so far.

We looted a few interesting weapons: a pickaxe that is devastating against armour and a cleaver that is good at executing unarmoured and wounded enemies. I don't know if I'll use them yet, but I may keep hold of some.

 

[Hoodoo]

3 kills

 

[Modron]

You should carry around a pair of direwolf skins just on the off chance of world map event in which the tailor turns them into armor, it has pretty good stats for someone like an archer who doesn't want to carry around really fatiguing armor (Granted this event is rare enough that my suggestion of tailor was more lulzy; there are events where bandits some time dress up as direwolves which are more likely to give you the lightweight armor).

 

[Baron Dupek]

Men, I'm draggin' behind with these kills what the heck

 

[Wayward Son]

Wow, I finally got an alert for this thread. ''Tis good friend.

 

[Azira]

Alright, here are the stats I wish to increase;
Health
Melee attack
Melee defense

As for the perk, I'll do the cheap thing and pick Gifted. Same stat increases as above.

 

[Azira]

Oh, and as for the barber option, I really need a larger beard.

 

[Undead Phoenix]

Oh, and as for the barber option, I really need a larger beard.

Assuming you survive the following battles. It looks like it'll be a double-header.
If you getting any freakish rolls, I'll put in another pause to confirm. Otherwise, yeah.

Wayward Son - you gotta lvl your stuff, son. That zero in melee defense and 49hp is liable to get you one-shotted. Once I get back from work ITZ is going to come and I make no promises

 

[Wayward Son]

Definitely boost my melee defense then and get me more skill with my mace.

 

[Reinhardt]

Drink for us, bros.

 

[Undead Phoenix]

I didn't lie about expecting two battles. But an unaffiliated band of raiders buggers off to the North into the hills, too scared to face us

Well-paid? Well-paid!? I can barely afford to feed and equip all you fuckers!

It's night. You're like to get eaten by a grue. You're also significantly less likely to get hit by any of our ranged Bros.

Our line pivots on two sides of a unassailable boulder. Our archers took to the hills, with our shield-bros formed a slanted line above them, supported by oscar with Longinus hanging about on some high ground with a hex between him and Azira.

Unfortunately the thieves take the initiative in turn 2 and close into melee range with Gondolin. I'm not too worried, having equipped him for this situation

Pow!

Less planned was three bandits swarming Longinus. Despite having the high ground and a special attack and them spending their turn running into melee range, there's nothing in it. Bro, help isn't even on the way. You're gonna have to cut yourself out of this one!

On the other side of the line we're in good shape, able to dispatch help as our archers, Modron and Hoodoo, contribute in the melee. Modron sticking a wounder thug in the gut to finish him off while Hoodoo busies himself blacking up to start our first cleaver machete rape gang.

Beowulf steps up to drive home the attack; he favours a nice, graceful sweep across the body and would probably have become our foremost mad axeman if Longinus hadn't been equipped with our best armour.

Beowulf is the first bro to take a major wound, his armour and helm in tatters but still protecting him.

Hoodoo becomes the second as the bandits break. Longinus gets his revenge as one of his last enemies turns to flee, only to get hamstrung and butchered on the return blow.

He was never going to survive for long.

Loot is terrible but we find the book. It's probably banal, shit, boring, I'd much rather have the money.

Azira gets his head shaved and the best beard.

We don't stay for long. Until we can afford free flowing ale, we shall not rest!

Azira suggests that we don't want to get on the wrong side of the major players in the area. What a fucking sellout

Schwarzwasser is a shithole, but there's a few job offers and we pick up some cheap peat bricks. Hopefully we can sell them on elsewhere for a profit.

There's a member of the Rabenholt family in town. He wants a week of our time and the pay is shit. He barely raises it on me asking. Jews, Jews never change, but I don't want to go full SS-Totenkopfverbände and start cutting off heads for fun and profit.

The others starts off in an interesting way. I'm not going to ruin anybodies fun, but our medical supplies are restricted to injuries from battle or marching. Catch anything off a filthy whore and you're on your own.

Another cemetary job. Pay is 460 crowns total.

Unwilling to enter at night, we camp just outside of the gates until dawn.

Surprise surprise! It actually is graverobbers! They're smart enough to not want to fight, but dumb enough to try and fob us off with some mythical pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Like I'm going to fall for that one!

The enemy starts all spread out in the swamp so we do a bit of skirmishing without doing any real damage. Who the fuck builds a graveyard in a swamp!?

Our shield wall forms up on dry ground, forcing anyone who wants to attack to do so in the bogging ground. They actually have someone with throwing axes so I push our two axe-dudes up to stop that.

MZeta takes a heavy blow to the head and is forced to dodge away from our front line. His spear will hopefully prevent his retreat being followed up on.

Gondolin, Hoodoo and Modron are all hitting sweet fuck all with their shots. I'm starting to think thrown weapons are the way forward!

Things improve when they switch to melee. Modron stunning the most heavily armoured raider and setting him up for Longinus, MZeta and Azira to stick it in his ass.

Beowulf had been struggling, but the return of Longinus to make his personal battle a 2v1 helped him make the decisive blow.

We have to wade into the swamp to stop the incoming javelins, the fight degenerating into three separate skirmishes.

Which we come out on top of without any major worries. Beowulf had to pull back, but everyone else is in reasonable shape.

All the level ups!

Loot is very, very nice! We get some trad goods which sell for a reasonable amount, some good armour and a few improvements in weaponry.

No wolf pelts for Modron, but he's currently looking like he could be a very good archer. What perk are you wanting, bro?

Hoodoo, by contrast, is a bit meh. There's nothing he seems good at beyond anticipating and dodging other marksmen. Your role isn't defined and you may end up in the shield-wall if I recruit someone better with a bow.

HeroicBloodshed is an unnarmed brawler. I don't know if there are weapons for that.

MZeta those rolls are shit.

oscar has survived so far by hiding beyond other Bros and taking for -fucking-ever advancing with them, on account of his maimed foot and broken leg. That is healing soon, so with this advancement and a new perk you might become useful.

No injuries, so you have no excuses for being bad, Beowulf

We take up the job offer. I don't really care about working for this guy, but it was either this or nothing.

 

[Beowulf]

Wow, such toil for such a meagre pay. Judging by their equipment grave robbing might be more lucrative business.

Beowulf had been struggling, but the return of Longinus to make his personal battle a 2v1 helped him make the decisive blow.

Thanks Longinus, you are a real Battle Bro, next beer is on me.

No injuries, so you have no excuses for being bad, Beowulf

Lets remedy that cap'n. I'd go for hitpoints, fatigue and melee skill, with Dodge. Unless you are going to hire/promote someone to beat us until morale improves, in which case range skill would be a good choice (and a quick hands perk)