Last time, our
violent socipaths heroes just finished slaughtering every spider in Sorpigal and below it.
Elrath be praised! This vile den of is nearly cleansed-
What do you mean "nearly"? We killed all of them, searched every corner
Alas, my heathen friend, you are wrong. Elrath's work here is not yet done. Elrath's light showed me the way to one last spawn of darkness located in this cursed place. The Dragon's will is certain, we are to bathe that creature in his purifying light, then cleanse it's taint from this world forevermore.
I wasn't aware the church was this - EXTREME.
You have much to learn, young crusader. Perhaps one day, you shall serve the inquisition as a Vindicator. Paladins dispense Elrath's mercy and help whenever they can while pursuing their impossible quest, but I found that the biggest mercy anyone can grant is to deliver Elrath's justice upon evildoers.
What she meant was - find that spider and kill it. Then take its stuff.
Spiders have stuff? Seem strange. They no pockets.
That is completely illogical and defies laws of the universe.
Of course, where do you think we got all of those antidotes and potions from, ork?
Wait, you looted them from their corpses? Like from inside them?
Yeah, they must have stuck in their digestive tract once they ate some other raider. Probably someone Maximus sent before us.
...I think I am gonna throw up.
Oh yeah, says mister "spider burger".
...but they were tasty.
Anyway, let's turn back...
"Hmm, what was that?"
Our goal. This is where the fiend dwells.
...and find the secret here. we can see it since rosalie gives us the ability. Otherwise we would have to use Whispering Shadows or some other NPC. They come in three varieties, each requiring different attribute to open them up. These cracks un the wall need Might, for example.
Pariah smash!
Yeah!
A spider greets us immediately, but a little fire is all it takes to bring him down.
Blessed Elrath, may you have mercy on this monster, for I did not.
Yeah, now let's loot shit!
WTF is this?
Such is the fate of all heretics who consort with vile forces beyond their understanding.
...spiders?
We find a journal page on his corpse.
And here you see the wisdom of the inquisition. Were the people of this town smarter and done their good duty of burning this heretic on the stake when they had the chance none of this would have happened in the first place.
Well, atleast now we know how those spiders got here in the first place.
Yeah, I always knew those spider-worshipping weirdos from House of Eterna were nuts. Now I have the proof. Good riddance, Silver Cities are better off with another necromancer dead.
Didn't you leave that place because it was too restrictive for the Free Cities? We met in Hammerfall, right?
Once an Al-Safir girl, always an Al-Safir girl.
Yeah, sweet treasure. Come to mama.
Aww, just some junk and a stupid magical crossbow-
Dibs on that!
I haven't shown it before, so here is the complete map of the spider dungeon, completely with the secret room. Yeah, very small, boring and easy for the most part, but don't worry, it gets better quickly.
Finally, it's time to leave. Through the nwly discovered secred staircase in the secret room.
Hey, this is that abandoned house we wanted to loot earlier! Must have been the residence of our cultist.
We should burn this wretched den in the name of Elrath!
You said it, sister! Let's do this! Fire-
Ancestors, what are those two sociopathic individuals doing. i have to stop them before they burn the whole town. Hold! Maximus not like that.
Yeah, stop darling. We don't want the ork captain of the watch mad at us. Not to mention the whole city. I would like to stay on the good terms with the townsfolk.
Aww...
I'm disappointed in you, sir Pariah. I thought you were taking your duty to Elrath more devoutly and tried to lead these three heathens into the dragons light. But now I see you need some guidance yourself. The inquisition shall provide it if you need some help understanding our methods in spreading Elrath's light.
...let's just go. And sorry for doubting Elrath, sister Rosalie. It shall not happen again. Please don't tell the inquisition...
Who cares, Ylath is better anyway. Started worshipping him in Hammerfall and never looked back. He lets me zap things with lightning and gives me the freedom to choose how to use it. That's all I ask from a Dragon God.
Bah, humans and their squabbles. Ylath, Elrath, you keep changing them all the time, but we dwarves still worship our lord Arkath, the Dragon God of Fire, because we know he is the only true god for us. If you were content like us you wouldn't have two gods but one.
Religious conflicts. This isn't going to end well. Let me defuse the situation. We orcs revere ancetors. We worship no dragon. Mother Earth and Father Sky worthy to follow. But all things need reverence. Tolerance. For all is one.
Ok, that sounded better in my head...
What?
Just some heretical gibberish from the pagan demonspawn, like I suspected. Soon he shall know the wrath of Elrath-
Easy there girl, let's just go to Maximus and get out of this shithole. Then we can go and bring the wrath of Elrath upon those thieves like you wanted.
...fine.
On the way to Maximus, we make a short detour to give harbourmaster his treasure.
Here it is, now give us half of the money.
Sure, here it is.
Wait, 150 gold?
That's the whole treasure?
Must been lousy smuggler.
Hey, there is a reason I am not continuing the family tradition, you know? "I can't believe this was a fortune for my ancestor."
And finally, still early in the morning we get back to Maximus for our next assigment. Also asking him about his past.
Wait, they let an orc join the tournament? I alway knew the Empire was full of fucking liberals.
What did you say?
...nothing.
Anyway, since you are here, here is the next important mission.
I hope it doesn't involve spiders.
Don't worry, this time it's snakes.
We are not here to play fucking pest control, ok? First spiders, now snakes, do it yourself.
These are giant snakes, who can talk, cast spells, wielding multiple samurai swords in their four arms and have overcomplicated tea rituals. Better?
...I guess.
So, those Wreckers occupy lighthouses? Why is that such a big deal? The weather seems perpetualy sunny, I am sure they will leave soon. And the only one who sails here is Christian anyway.
Yeah, and if he crashes with his ship on the cliffs and dies, good riddance.
That's not what I meant-
SILENCE! Do you want to finish the main quest and get to Karthal or no?
Can't we just send those ashes there by mail?
NO! Now get out and kill some nagas.
Some epic quest we have. Okay guys, let's hit the inn and set of in the morning.
And so we do. When resting in the inn you gain Well Rested buff for 200 rounds, which increases your stats by 10 percent. If we hired Kengi we would get that buff on normal resting aswell, but we are too poor for that.
Alright, everyone, today is the day when we leave this lightforsaken place behind us and set out for new horizons!
YEAAAH!
We just stop by the training center to teach Krivolina Expert Air Magic...
Well, thanks for the training, but I am kinda surprised you are the Air Magic expert. I expected a mage...
Of course it's me, beautiful maiden. I learned Air Magic from pa to continue in our family tradition of croosbow humping.
Wanna learn this too? I will even teach you for free, but we need some quiet, secluded place to get the right "atmosphere", if you know what I mean
........no.
After that experience, our party wisely ignores any further input from Aldin and gets expert training in axes for MicoSelva and swords for Pariah from Enora.
"You are now expert with swords. If you want to learn more, I heard the new governor is a master swordsman"
Sweet! He will make me a paladin, get us to Karthal and teach me Master level in swords! We have to get to that guy, he seems to be so cool.
Sure, so long as it's far away from this place and especially from that guy.
Oh, you will be back, they always crawl back to Aldin at some point, begging for more!
Guys, lets go or I am gonna barf and then beat that fool over the head with his own crossbow.
You are seriously considering touching that thing?
...good point.
With the tutorial complete and the spider queen dead, guards no longer block the exit from the city and allow us to pass onwards.
In other words, what are we waiting for?
And so we make our first steps on the overworld map, with the narrator pitching in just as the loading screen fades.
Let's take a nice walk around the countryside. The shipwreck on the horizon is visitable and contains a relic, but we lack to ability to
walk in ankle-deep water walk on water for now, so let's ignore it.
"Ah yes, running on Mother Earth, under the Father Sky."
Yes, we are finally out of that wretched dump. Let's find something to kill, I need to vent out my rage.
I agree, preferably not a spider. I had enough of these things foe a lifetime.
As they near the lighthouse, the sun starts to set and the monster-detecting crystal light up. Also, the worst dialogue line ever gets repeated about a dozen of times.
"Looks like they smelled us. Who forgot to take a bath?"
"Looks lik' thay smelled us. Wha forgot tae tak' a bath?"
And because we didn't have enough of spiders already, the first enemies we encounter are spiders.
Let's just kill them all.
Tired of fucking spiders. Something new, please?
The spiders seem to have been guarding this hastily buried treasure. We get some gold and a bunch of useless white items to sell.
Portmeyron is the place where the governor lives, right? Let's go there and get my paladin promotion and master sword skill!
Are you sure he is going to have time to train you and won't be busy with the civil war going on?
Nah, I am sure he will find the time for such a talented student.
This landscape doesn't seem very welcoming. There are some more spiders in the back and right, but being tired of them I leave them to live for now and head to the crystal instead.
After touching this crystal the whole party gets a resistance buff against water magic lasting for 250 rounds. Handy against those nagas we are going to fight.
Heading north, we find another full heal fountain and replenish our strenght.
Soon, night falls and all the spiders disappear. Also:
"Looks like they smelled us. Who forgot to take a bath?"
"Looks lik' thay smelled us. Wha forgot tae tak' a bath?"
They disappear, only to be replaced by wolves, two of which spaw right in front of us.
They are about as challenging as the spiders, except they can't poison you.
Boooring.
And so we move on to-
"Looks like they smelled us. Who forgot to take a bath?"
"Looks lik' thay smelled us. Wha forgot tae tak' a bath?"
Can you SHUT UP?
Atleast we get a treasure chest out of this.
We also find this barrel, which-
"Looks like they smelled us. Who forgot to take a bath?"
"Looks lik' thay smelled us. Wha forgot tae tak' a bath?"
YES, YES, I GET IT! THERE'S A SPIDER INSIDE, WOULD YOU SHUT UP?
And that's that. Now on to-
"Looks lik' thay smelled us. Wha-"
Sorry laddie.
We spend the rest of the night shooting wolves, until we finally kill them all. The shrine for Orlene's Flowers is near, but I forgot about it. Gonna do it later.
Hey, let's check out that merchant wagon over there, maybe we can loot them and blame it on the brigands.
Look, I know we just spent 10 hours slaughtering everything that moves and everyone calls us raiders, but that doesn't mean we are some kind of gang, ok?
Not to mention I would be forced to cleanse you from this world by the will of Elrath himself.
...also that...
Since looting it isn't an option
because Rosalie would kill us we just go in for some early shopping.
Are you sure we are all going to fit in there? Not to mention the merchant and his goods?
Arkeus too big for tiny door.
Don't worry, I am sure it's bigger on the inside.
See?
Orc want to learn to channel Earth Mother better. Human help?
Sure, you seem like a talented young orc. Here, you are now an expert. If you want to become a master, finish ACT 1 first. If you want Expert in Water Magic, finish the Act 1 first. If you want to be an expert in spears, finish Act 1-
Suffice to say, I really think it would be better if they didn't block off the rest of the world until the end of Act 1.
Atleast we have a place to sell all that useless junk we collected.
You know, out here in the open, you seem quite, vulnerable-
Elrath, grant me strenght to smite these sinners-
No, no, no, I mean, you should probably move closer to Prtmeyron to avoid being attacked by bandits. Not to Sorpigal though, that place is full of spiders and assholes.
Actually, we were already attacked by bandits. They were led by someone named Luke. He was the nicest bandit ever.
Isn't that the guy the crusader chick wanted us to kill or redeem?
I'm sure it's just a coincidence.
He does seem like a nice guy.
Boy not have a heart of bandit. He be fighting his true nature.
Meh, those bandits are pussies. Shouldn't be that hard to slaughter them all.
No matter what, justice demands that he be destroyed utterly and his soul condemned to the deepest pits of Sheogh along with the rest of those evildoers.
Are you going to buy something?
Oh right, sorry.
The best thing he has are two potions that raise maximum mana and HP, but we aren't even close enough to afford even one, as they cost 7500 each. After selling all of our white trash we continue on our merry way towards Portmeyron.
We find some soldiers outside of the castle to greet us.
Look, it seem the governor knows we are coming to visit him. He sent his soldiers to greet us and make sure his next talented pupil arrives to him safely. Hello there! Yeah, it's us! The famous raiders!
They not friendly.
Kill them all, the true governor demands it!
What the-
And so we get attacked by a bunch of dudes in plate armour hanging around the castle.
You were right, Pariah. The governor must have known you were coming, so he sent his soldiers to eliminate you before you could infect him with stupid.
Told you he doesn't want to train you, laddie. Or you already failed even before starting.
Ha Ha, very funny guys. If you want to joke about this, atleast make sure its not totally lame. But if he really didn't want to see me, he could atleast tell me, not send a bunch of guys to kill me.
He didn't even call you before he broke up with you, huh?
Seriously, are you even trying?
You know, I thought they were bandits, but with them being called Militia, I am not so sure anymore. Maybe they are the rebel troops? Or just bandits masquerading as soldiers.
I doubt these are the governors men. They appear to be part of the same gang you are supposed to help me put an end to. Or some rebel soldier, either way, they shall be punished for their treatchery!
You sure? The governor doesn't want to kill me?
Yeah yeah, he totally loves and will give you a big kiss once you get to the castle and into his pants. Happy now?
They don't even manage to reach us until the end, since I kept spamming roots and Gust of Wind and by the time he gets a couple of swings in he is dead.
Hell yeah! Killing humans and making them scream in agony is so much better then murdering stupid wolves or spiders.
Indeed it brings great joy to punish the wicked and cast them into the fiery abyss.
...
What?
I worry about you, you know.
With those guys out of the way, surely there is nothing that will prevent us from talking to the governor...
...except the plot, of course.
You don't have a scheduled audience with the governor, so get out!
But that's why I am here! To meet with the governor and become a paladin! How can we schedule an audience with the governor?
You can't. The plot says so. Now go slaughter some bandits and get out of my sight.
Well, that was a waste of time.
Might aswell rob him blind if doesn't want to see us. Shouldn't have left the tresure chests outside.
On our left, we find another roadblock.
It's just an overturned cart, can't we slip past it?
No, it's too dangerous. Stay away from this dangerous cart and go kill some bandits, will you?
Why does fate seem to keep us from leaving this place and getting to Karthal?
I think it's just the governor trying to keep Pariah close to him until he is ready to serve as his "squire".
Hey!
Seems we need to go to the lighthouse afterall if we want to advance the plot. We could also do the Den of Thieves, which is actually easier, but I heard there is a bug if you do that quest before the lighthouse and I want to keep Rosalie to detect secrets for me as long as possible.
Moving towards the Lighthouse, our heroes are tired after marching 20 hours without rest and need to camp. As night approaches, ghostly spiders appear all around us.
One of them pops up and attacks them. He is surprisingly tough and has a mana leech ability.
Great, first spiders, now ghostly spiders.
Maybe there will be zombie spiders further ahead.
Atleast we get the stuff it was guarding.
Spiders seem to be a running theme of act 1.
Dangerous cave? I am sure nothings too dangerous for the Codex party. Bring it on!
Oh look, a miniboss! Lucky us, we are gonna get relics!
This bad idea. Should not disturb cyclops.
Coward. Let's just smoke this stupid cyclops and-
...and what?
...run?
OH SHI-
Well, that sucked.