Let's heckin' play CUCKOLD SIMULATOR: Life as a Beta Male Cuck!!!

Kalin · May 25, 2021

You fucking retarded autists shit comments like this is why LPers don't LP fucking hell man

True Ukrainian · May 25, 2021

What's the main quest? To be the greatest cuck of them all?

vazha · May 25, 2021

excellent lp, propa sweden, please carry on.

Jenkem · May 25, 2021

I decided it was time to head to the night club to get my groove on! ahahah time to get FUNKY.. just like my FUNKY POPS! hahahaahahaha that's a good one, I should write it down so I don't forget, I bet I'll get a bunch of updoots on that one!! Anyways a new club just opened up in town and I decided to check it out.. anything to get out of the house to avoid temptation of listening to my wife getting pleasured by her bull... well, more like to avoid getting CAUGHT listening hahahahaa

WOW! This club is so cool with lots of interesting people, I just met someone that I also thinks posts on Reddit and we talked about Funky Pops and how we need to eat bugs to reduce our carbon footprint or else the world will literally END in ten years.. It's scary to think about but that's why we are trying to stop it! We had a good time and I took a selfie!!!!

haha, the pic turned out pretty good, huh? I had enough of chatting (it's like reddit but IRL XD) and decided it was time to finally go get my groove on so I went over to the entrance to the members-only section, where the coolest of cools like me hang out, surely I will find a woman to take home to share with Tyrone, if my wife will let me of course... haha!

$150???? But Tyrone took all my money when I was a bad boy! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS HECKIN' UNFAIR!!! What am I going to heckin' do??? I came here to cheer myself up, how am I going to get the money I need in order to find the perfect little sexpot for my family?? My friend already left so I can't ask him... Guess I'll ask the bartender if he knows of anything...

Oh hahahaha, yeah I get money from my job.. hahahaha how could I forget that? Guess I was so flustered with all that happened today that I forgot about something so simple.. Chinese people are so wise.

As the night descends I leave the club and go home, seems like the night's almost over and I have to get up and go to work tomorrow! That VIP membership isn't gonna pay itself XD!

to be continued...

lightbane · May 25, 2021

Even that hideous "retard face and the NPC meme are in, lol.
I wonder if one of the possible endings is the protagonist offing himself, or killing his wife + the bull and many more in a killing spree.

Jenkem · May 28, 2021

Ahhh I had a good night's sleep but now it's time for lil ol' worky-worky haha I can't wait to tell everyone about my wild night at the club! I run downstairs without a moment to lose, I'm needed at work just as much as I'm needed at home! Plus I gotta get money for that VIP membership so I can find a girl to bring home so Tyrone won't be mad at me anymore! I open the door to the front house, ready to hit the ground running (didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb XD I love Smash Mouth!) but DeShawn had other ideas:

There he was, that little rascal, standing on top of my car flossing (XD just like in Fortnite!!) I was a little mad but I have to admit that it was pretty cool at the same time... But I had to get to work since Mr. Chong told me that's the best way to get money, so I let him have it! I feel bad that I had to be so mean but that's just part of being a family man!

He eventually did what he was told and I was ready to finally get to work, briefly thinking about the prospects of DeShawn's future before getting in the car:

Hahahahahaah OMG could you imagine that?? XD

I had a nice little drive to work, nothing much happened I just listened to NPR, they were talking about white supremacy being one of the most dangerous threats we face. SO TRUE! I don't get why everyone can be as tolerant as me. Anyways, I'm arriving at work now so best not to think about those things. As I enter into our office area my boss was waiting for me at the door. He was really mad at me for being late (Thanks, DeShawn!) but I smoothed it over:

Everyone is working so hard, it sure feels great to be a part of this company! We all work as a team and really love working here!

My desk is off in the corner, hahah it really is my home away from home! XD

Haha here we are! My little funky boy is always here to greet me hahaah, well.. time to earn those big bucks. I'll be a VIP in no time!

I gotta go but I'll check back in after work, I wonder what I'll do when I get home...

Rean · May 28, 2021

Great LP

lightbane · May 28, 2021

I'm not sure if this is depressing or hilarious.
Also, what's up with these funky pop things? They did pop up a few years ago, but they're so lame that I don't see anyone serious having a collection of them, other than kids at best, and they look like shit so that won't work.

Kalin · May 28, 2021

Haha listening to a catchy tunarino from a pair of absolute madlads waiting for update! Funko Pops!! I'm hecka HYPED!

Fellow funkaroos!!

SWEET SHELF BRO

WOOOOOOWZAROO POPPY POPS HECKING JELLY

*nods sagely*

BADASS!!!!!!!

ExposedBrainMatter · May 28, 2021

Returning to this thread when the RPG Codex Troll Edition Funko drops.

rusty_shackleford · May 28, 2021

lightbane said:
Also, what's up with these funky pop things? They did pop up a few years ago, but they're so lame that I don't see anyone serious having a collection of them, other than kids at best, and they look like shit so that won't work.

lightbane · May 28, 2021

Kalin said:
Haha listening to a catchy tunarino from a pair of absolute madlads waiting for update! Funko Pops!! I'm hecka HYPED!

rusty_shackleford said:
stuff

This is getting surprisingly meta, and even more depressing. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad one that I'm not surprised at all to see something like this.

Jenkem · May 28, 2021

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS work is done and now I'm home and ready to see my loving family! I can't wait to see my wife and kids! Made a smooth $95 at work today! Bringin' home the bacon as they say hahaha XD Looks like someone left the door open... probably DeShawn, you know how teenagers are...

First thing I think I'm going to do is to get some hot love from my wife, she's probably really raring to go after having no one but Tyrone all day!

Oh... it's.. uhh.. locked. I can hear them going at it, it sounds fun but I guess I won't be joining in tonight, but at least my wife is happy! The only thing to make me as happy as knowing my wife is feeling pleasure are my Funky Pops! I love them so much! Let me go over to my room and tell them about my day...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WTF NOT MY HECKIN' FUNKARINOS!! MY LITTLE FUNKY BOIS!!! MY BESTEST BUDDY WUDDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DESHAWN MUST HAVE TAKEN THEM, THAT'S WHY HE'S IN HERE! I LET HIM GET AWAY WITH A LOT BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE A TEENAGER, BUT TOUCHING ANOTHER MAN'S FUNKY POP IS JUST NOT OKAY.

I AM LITERALLY SHAKING, I CAN'T EVEN RIGHT NOW!!

I can't believe that he forgot where he put them... I get that it was just for a fun challenge for updoots, that's why I'm not too mad, but this is NOT how I was expecting my evening to go

This is horrible! After DeShawn left, reality finally set in and hit me like a ton of bricks:

I. MUST. GET. THEM. BACK.

to be continued...