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Let's LARP the Emperor's Finest - a wh40k IF

Discussion in 'Choose Your Own Adventure Land' started by Holy Cow, Jun 22, 2012.

  1. Kayerts Arcane

    Kayerts
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    Oh good, that means we're going to light aflame a terrible bio-weapons base that otherwise would be used to destroy Terra! Everybody vote 1!

    Heh. Our supplied reasons for thinking she hated us did seem weak; at the time, I thought you were just tapping into the collective self-flagellation that these games inspire in us. ("Arrgh you dogfuckers voted to say 'hi' instead of 'hello,' now we are dooooomed.")

    Yes but there was this: " And I hear there’s a lady commissar down there too, fit as a bird, they say." Probably just rumor, though.
     
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  2. Hellraiser Arcane

    Hellraiser
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    Location:
    Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
    Our choice is between probably dying soon after arrival and being screwed over by Holm for refusing to volunteer. Unless Holm sends us on a suicide mission if we somehow survive volunteering because we're the best men for the job. It is totally impossible to avoid getting into deep shit as an Imperial Guardsman in the 41st millennium.

    1) Yes.

    Better than risking being on Holm's "suicide mission volunteer" list and hopefully surviving this will open up some choices.
     
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  3. Jaedar Arcane Patron

    Jaedar
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    Project: Eternity Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    Hmmm.... we have a choice
    1) Certain death
    2) Relative safety

    Hurr, lets go with 1.
     
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  4. Commissar Draco Codexia Comrade Colonel Commissar Patron

    Commissar Draco
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    Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Divinity: Original Sin 2
    1

    Glory for the first man to die! :salute:
     
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  5. Darth Roxor Prestigious Gentleman Wielder of the Huegpenis

    Darth Roxor
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    Bros, read the conversation of the Lord General and his bros once again. Carefully.

    After that, assess the chances of survival of our new character.
     
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  6. Renegen Arcane

    Renegen
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    2

    The way I see it we don't know what we're dealing with, coming from both the chain of command and the xenos. If we act as cowards and we are punished, we can always be reckless later on, but if we act reckless now, it may be all over given how uninformed we are of the dangers.
     
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  7. Gondolin Arcane

    Gondolin
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    So, if we go down to the planet, we will very likely be killed by:

    a) xenos;
    b) chaos;
    c) the weather;
    d) any combination of the above.

    Should we somehow survive, we will be killed by the Inquisition anyway.

    Voting 2 for sanity.
     
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  8. CappenVarra phase-based phantasmist Patron

    CappenVarra
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    2), and hope the Exterminatus will be ordered before it's our turn to be infested by Papa Nurgle's chest busters in punishment for rejecting space jockey Horus
     
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  9. Zwist Learned

    Zwist
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    2)
    This is only the *first* crew to go down. So we are going to end up there eventually. I'd rather have have some guardsman corpses as cover instead of being the cover.
     
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  10. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

    Self-Ejected
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    Yes

    GLORY FOR THE FIRST MAN TO DIE!
     
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  11. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

    Self-Ejected
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    Guys, you're not getting into the spirit of being Imperial Guard.

    Let me make this abundantly clear:

    You are going to die.

    The average lifespan of an IG once he sees combat is about 15 hours. You may extend it a bit, or even a lot if you're absurdly lucky, but you are going to die horribly.
    Once you accept this fact it then follows that the purpose of this little circlejerk is not trying to survive until some arbitrary endgame state. It is to go out there and be as goddamn manly as possible, making Astartes weep manly tears for your awesomeness before dying in a highly entertaining manner.

    So ask yourself this: Would you rather read about a glorious clusterfuck of a recon mission or about how to keep your lasrifle cleaned in a cramped cargo hold for several months?
     
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  12. GreyViper Erudite

    GreyViper
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    1)

    I say lets get this over fast, because luck being how it is, something will happen to the ship and Id rather go fully equipped.

    Would be nice if meltagun or flamer would be available.*rolls 6 in loot table*


    By the way what are the chances to see the lady Commissar again and to see BANEBLADE in action.
    [​IMG]
     
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  13. Zwist Learned

    Zwist
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    Lets get intimate with our lasrifle. We like our Rifle.
     
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  14. Esquilax Arcane

    Esquilax
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    So, basically, what you're telling me is that, as an Imperial Guardsman, we are very likely to die from pretty much anything. This isn't very surprising.

    1) is the :bro: thing to do. So let's do it.


    Flopping to 2) NO
     
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  15. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
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    Codex 2012
    1
    :salute:
     
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  16. Renegen Arcane

    Renegen
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    Is this a choose your own adventure or just a story about some IG getting killed? Why waste a glorious opportunity for an engaging story if the 1 thing that adds tension to this story, the fear of death, is thrown out the window just to read about the most brutal way we will die. This is interactive, and as such we should take advantage of this interactivity by actually trying to live as the human being we are assigned. The russians died by the boatload in all wars, but that doesn't mean they actually wanted to die or take stupid risks.

    Seriously, you can argue that we as a humble IG have been brainwashed to charge forth but to say we should charge forth because we are going to die anyway really takes the mystery out of this LP. It's like playing poker with fake money.
     
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  17. CappenVarra phase-based phantasmist Patron

    CappenVarra
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    You're forgetting the part where we extend our lifetime by accepting the gifts of the Warp...
     
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  18. Jaedar Arcane Patron

    Jaedar
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    Project: Eternity Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    Did people really get so butthurt and emotionally scarred about the first PC dieing that they decided to pretend the point of this thread was to kill PC's?
     
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  19. Esquilax Arcane

    Esquilax
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    That's actually why I flopped - just because dying as an Imperial Guardsman is very likely doesn't mean we should go out of our way to seek it. Renegen convinced me. Going out of his way to charge into a hellhole when our character has absolutely no reason to doesn't make much sense.
     
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  20. Zaan Novice

    Zaan
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2010
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    No, as other above mentioned screw that "we're going to die anyway" mentality. Instead let's try becoming The Emperor of mankind. :smug:
     
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  21. Gondolin Arcane

    Gondolin
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    It's not butthurt, but the apparently Biowarian choice. Since our previous character died doing the sensible thing, it follows that sensible options are misleading, while stupid options remain stupid. Hence, there's no point in trying to play carefully and "win" because victory seems deliberately withheld from us. As such, the only thing left to do is make a glorious exit.
     
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  22. Kz3r0 Arcane

    Kz3r0
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    And I was the only one that wanted to enter there, glory to me.:salute:

    PS:
    1)Yes
     
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  23. Quetzacoatl Liturgist

    Quetzacoatl
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    Will you use old necrons or new necrons?
     
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  24. Storyfag Perfidious Pole Patron

    Storyfag
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    Been out of touch with 40k lately. What happened to the Necrons?
     
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  25. Gondolin Arcane

    Gondolin
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    I said "apparently", which means that it doesn't matter whether it is actually a Biowarian choice or not. Some posters expect it to be Biowarian.

    The root of the ineptitude (pun, blam!) lies in the fact that I have no idea how a WH40K soldier is supposed to act and I'm not going to read the rule books to find out. Since I'm not the only one in this situation, you might want to take the ineptitude into account in the future. As such, your LPs are very fun to read, but not so much fun to play. Well, I didn't read the ork LP because I wasn't interested in orks.
     
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