Let's LARP the Emperor's Finest - a wh40k IF

[Excidium]

The real question is why people claimed they wanted to be manly, then immediately fall back on weilding the biggest gun ('splosions! awesum!) they can find instead of trying to do open wound surgery with one hand, while fighting off incoming enemies with a laspistol in the other.

Limpwrist McScaredycat incoming

Well, I thought you picked Steel Legion for the big guns and machinery. If you wanted to be manly and fight tyranids with combat knives SHOULD HAVE PICKED CATACHAN

 

[Ulminati]

I picked steel legion because they have a kommissar who's so goddanm manly he ripped the power klaw off an ork nob with his bare hands.

But seriously. Combat medic's gotta have nerves of steel to do precision work with a strict time limit while under fire. It may be too tense for the scaredycat voters ITT. Hopefully whatever big gun we end up salvaging (we were issued a normal hellgun rifle last update) has a gyro-stabilizer so it can be fired limp-wristed.

You're also totally robbing yourself of the Awesome™ triage update where we'll have to decide which of our squad members dies so we can focus on saving another.

 

[Renegen]

Ulminati, your replies/lobbying success ratio is very low.

 

[Ulminati]

Renegen, the survival ratio of going against my lobbying is nil

 

[The Brazilian Slaughter]

My votes:

D) WE SURVIVED THE TYRANT STAR! YOU ALL SUCK! WE ROCK!

3) Let's rip the enemies of the Emperor a new one with HEAVY GUNS!!!! If the area around our target ins't made of pure powdered concrete debris and burning metal, its not a real attack.

M) Women belong in the kitchen. WE ARE A MAN!! *PUNCH*

Z) Strongpowerful Manguy!

 

[Undead Phoenix]

All the meta in this thread is disturbing.


B
2
F
Z - Shepard


The pieces of the puzzle all fit together. When in doubt - a Krak grenade somewhere painful will solve any problem.

 

[Esquilax]

I picked steel legion because they have a kommissar who's so goddanm manly he ripped the power klaw off an ork nob with his bare hands.

But seriously. Combat medic's gotta have nerves of steel to do precision work with a strict time limit while under fire. It may be too tense for the scaredycat voters ITT. Hopefully whatever big gun we end up salvaging (we were issued a normal hellgun rifle last update) has a gyro-stabilizer so it can be fired limp-wristed

Agreed. Nothing manlier than charging into no-man's land to stitch a wounded comrade back together, slugging him over your shoulder, then high-tailing it back to the front with a Carnifex hot on your heels.

As far as the origin stories go, I feel for some reason that the Medic Profession seems to fit the best with the Tyrant Star origin, while the Heavy Weapons dude is a better fit for an IG who squared off against a Space Marine.

Edit: That being said, B is definitely the most boring one, as Excidium pointed out. Playing as a generic badass dude doesn't hold much appeal to me.

 

[Excidium]

Man, do you people suck

Out of all the options, picking B)...Wow you blew up a space marine's face with two grenades, that's totally comparable to beating an ORK NOB with A FUCKING BAYONET, Witnessing the Tyrant Star and not giving a shit, escaping abduction by an alien race of torturers from another dimension, killing a genestealer with a jammed nerf gun...

 

[Ulminati]

I'm tempted to flop to tyrant star after reading up on it. It's... pretty neat actually.

But Excidium, if you have such disdain for defeating an enemy with the most powerful weapon in the presented options, why'd you vote heavy weapons guy?

 

[GreyViper]

This is more about the first scenario, but I found it weird that the dying IG psyker didn't recoil from the blank Commissar or that there wasn't any indication that she could have been a blank. Right now we can tell that inquisitor is a psyker, so hiding or deceiving him is not the best option. Guess we have to go balls to the walls option and hope to come out as sole survivor.

 

[Baltika9]

This is more about the first scenario, but I found it weird that the dying IG psyker didn't recoil from the blank Commissar or that there wasn't any indication that she could have been a blank. Right now we can tell that inquisitor is a psyker, so hiding or deceiving him is not the best option. Guess we have to go balls to the walls option and hope to come out as sole survivor.

Was there ever any doubt?

 

[Excidium]

I'm tempted to flop to tyrant star after reading up on it. It's... pretty neat actually.

But Excidium, if you have such disdain for defeating an enemy with the most powerful weapon in the presented options, why'd you vote heavy weapons guy?

Because I like the DAKKA!!

 

[Ulminati]

This is more about the first scenario, but I found it weird that the dying IG psyker didn't recoil from the blank Commissar or that there wasn't any indication that she could have been a blank. Right now we can tell that inquisitor is a psyker, so hiding or deceiving him is not the best option. Guess we have to go balls to the walls option and hope to come out as sole survivor.

Well, in the Eisenhorn omnibus, Eisenhorn goes for quite a while before realizing whatshername is a psychic null. I don't think it's immediately obvious to them. Plus the psyker we met was rather messed up at the time.

[edit]

In fact, given how goddamn useful a psychic null would be when battling daemons, I'm pretty certain she wouldn't have left/been kicked out of the SoB if she knew what she was.

 

[GreyViper]

In fact, given how goddamn useful a psychic null would be when battling daemons, I'm pretty certain she wouldn't have left/been kicked out of the SoB if she knew what she was.

Ah ok this makes sense, might have been the case where they didn't like her and threw/transfered her away with out testing her. Otherwise she would have been sent to Sister of Silence I think.

Baltika9
There is always some doubt when dealing with =I= .

 

[Undead Phoenix]

The only canon =I= books is the Inquisitor trilogy by Ian Watson

 

[ironyuri]

Voting:

C5MY

5 because our other hand was stitching up Private Jensen when he got his jeans stolen

Y, because Shepard is going to be a shit name and bore us with its meta-retardo faggotry.

C because we beat a fucking genestealer single handed while shitting ourselves.

M because MAN.

 

[Stygian Lurker]

B)
3)
F)
Z) Shepard

 

[Ulminati]

How about Meathead Nurglingpooper? It speaks of what we're about to become.

 

[Baltika9]

Meh, I like 'Dex Koolguy better.

 

[Vernydar]

How about Codexia Meatshield the Second?

 

[Jick Magger]

D
4 (flippidy flopped to 5)
M
Z -McFly. Failing that, I suggest Slab Bulkhead, Roll Grizzlebeef, Blast Hardcheese, Big McLargeHuge, Crunch Buttsteak, or Bob Johnson

 

[Baltika9]

D
4
M
Z -McFly. Failing that, I suggest Slab Bulkhead, Roll Grizzlebeef, Blast Hardcheese, Big McLargeHuge, Crunch Buttsteak, or Bob Johnson

Biggie Smalls?

 

[Commissar Draco]

I'm flipping to combat Nurse:

 

[Ulminati]

Glad to hear it. Medic looks like it'll have much more interesting C&C than picking between "I SHOOT THE BIG ONE!" and "I SHOOT THE SMALL ONES!"

Not to mention medicae background means we might know enough about biotoxins/chemicals to make sense of the samples we're sent out to collect, which means we'll learn more about what's going on.
And choosing which group member to save and which to die is some of the most interesting C&C you can have.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Bros, we are not taking a fucking AdMech Magos Biologos into action, but a regular infantryman who happens to know how to put bandaid on a bleeding finger.