Let's LARP the Emperor's Finest - a wh40k IF

[Ulminati]

True. But there's a chance, however slim, we'll have the slightest clue what's going on. At the very least we might get an indication about which of our squadmates is about to shit nurglings.

At the very least we won't have to take shit from our squaddies like Limpwrist McFaggot. No sane man shittalks the person who's going to stitch him back together in the middle of a firefight.

 

[eklektyk]

D killing kahos marines sounded really cool but got swayed for this one 'coz its potential
5 you have to now how to kill for you being able to heal properly
m obviously
x Stern before shepard!!!

 

[Hoodoo]

E
Medic
F
Sheppard

 

[lightbane]

I say:

D; 5; Female. Last name should be Jeannette, of course

PS: That whole "surviving the Dark Eldar" thing is a trap. According to the Uplifting Primer, being captured by the enemy is punished with death. No exceptions.

 

[Saark]

Prolly was more an abduction than capture.

 

[Ulminati]

Well the only "safe" choice was orcs. Tyranids, Derp Eldar, Tyrant Star and Chaos are all highly likely to irrevocably corrupt a guardsman. But tyrant star is the most interesting of the bunch. Plus root seems to like it, so maybe he'll have more fun writing updates like this

 

[Azael]

Knowing root, he was probably hoping for Dork Eldar to win so he could write a bunch of (not so) tasteful rape scenes.

 

[Esquilax]

True. But there's a chance, however slim, we'll have the slightest clue what's going on. At the very least we might get an indication about which of our squadmates is about to shit nurglings.

At the very least we won't have to take shit from our squaddies like Limpwrist McFaggot. No sane man shittalks the person who's going to stitch him back together in the middle of a firefight.

That fucking settles it, I vote that our character be named Shepard McNurglingshitter

 

[Ulminati]

This July....


...Nurglings will be shat.

 

[Random Word]

D) Above you the black star casts its last rays of light upon the dying planet. You see your squadmates tearing each other apart as something entirely alien takes hold of their senses. You hide, only to be found by your former CO. You pull the trigger.
5) Assistant Medicae
M) Male
Z) Motherfucking Stubbs III - We will find our family's long lost hundred Baneblades.

 

[Darth Roxor]

The sound of your DOOM will ring in your bum, in your soul.

 

[Jick Magger]

Flip-flopping to 5 - Bitch-Nurse

Maybe we can turn this into a M*A*S*H-esque sitcom.

 

[ironyuri]

Flip-flopping to 5 - Bitch-Nurse

Maybe we can turn this into a M*A*S*H-esque sitcom.

When our CO/Inquisitor gets infected with nurglings:

When our char gets infected with Nurglings/seduced by Slaanesh:

 

[Ulminati]

I tried to restrain myself, but the lack of UPDATAN leaves me with no choice. May the Emperor have mercy on me, for I shall have none from the commissariat.

Spoiler

 

[Jick Magger]

I tried to restrain myself, but the lack of UPDATAN leaves me with no choice. May the Emperor have mercy on me, for I shall have none from the commissariat.

Spoiler

Absolutely
Bloody
Disgusting

 

[Ulminati]

Absolutely
Bloody
Disgusting

Spoiler

Techpriestess Sukeban Cho. Complete with Neko-servitor.

It could be worse

 

[Sukeban Cho]

It could be worse

Master Ulmichan has called me from the Warp with an offering fit for her royal nyan-ness.

Are you ready for the enlightment I bring you, mortal?

Spoiler

*sniffs air, ears get rigid*

Is that promethium I smell? Gods, look at the time!

*poof*

 

[Jick Magger]

Absolutely
Bloody
Disgusting

Spoiler

Techpriestess Sukeban Cho. Complete with Neko-servitor.

It could be worse

It could be worse

Master Ulmichan has called me from the Warp with an offering fit for her royal nyan-ness.

Are you ready for the enlightment I bring you, mortal?

Spoiler

*sniffs air, ears get rigid*

Is that promethium I smell? Gods, look at the time!

*poof*

Spoiler

Filthy. Heretic. Scum.

 

[Baltika9]

And so, even the greatest among us fall to Chaos.

There is only one who can save us!


ROOTBRO! I SUMMON THEE! DESCEND FROM THY THRONE AND GRANT US THY BLESSING,



GRANT US THY MIGHTY UPDATE, THAT WE MAY GO FORTH AND EXTERMINATE THESE HERESIES!

 

[Ulminati]

And so, even the greatest among us fall to Chaos.

There is only one who can save us!

Spoiler

^ Illustration of the turn this thread just took ^

 

[lightbane]

HERESY of the HIGHEST DEGREE

 

[Ulminati]

Why is the terminator-librarian wielding a bolter? In fact, why are none of the terminators equipped with STORMbolters? o_O

This is not what Codex Astartes teaches us!

 

[Baltika9]

Why is the terminator-librarian wielding a bolter? In fact, why are none of the terminators equipped with STORMbolters? o_O

This is not what Codex Astartes teaches us!

Says the extra heretic.

 

[Ulminati]

Says the extra heretic.

The sanctioned Xanthist subsect of the Inquisition grants provision for the summoning of Daemonhosts if properly controlled to fight the enemies of mankind

Like Gregor Eisenhorn, history shall find my methods righteous.

 

[Darth Roxor]

This is not what Codex Astartes teaches us!

Yes, where's the steel rehn